acting lessons, shyness, and not feeling like talking?


countrystrata's avatar
i've heard that taking acting lessons will help people over come shyness, will it also help in just talking in general? i've never been much of a talker to begin with face to face, it's easier over the internet. but in the last couple of years my talking seems to have taken a nose dive. due to set backs and not being where i want to be in life at this point. a lot of the time i just don't feel like talking. people do tend to ignore me when i do talk, so that's part of my problem too.

makes me feel like i'm still a kid. like they just pat me on the head and say "that's cute. go play now." it's frustrating.

i just don't have anything to say or when i do i don't speak. i just keep quiet and sit there. might just nod, shrug or say 'i don't know' 'maybe' simple sentences.

there are private acting lessons in a town near my own, but i just can't talk myself into doing it. i'm looking for a job and i'm concerned about my lack of talking when it comes to job interviews and/or interacting with other people at a job if/when i get one. i've never been good at them, even mock interviews.
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whianem's avatar
Yes, it helps a lot. I took lessons many years ago (I was mega shy) and it worked perfectly! I became much more extrovert, for example. I learnt how to be funny and not to feel too much shame for everything. I learnt how to laught of myself and take things easier. Aaand, yes! I learnt a ton of useful things about talking in public. How to move my hands and body, what to do and what not, how to use my voice, etc. And this last thing is something that I felt very useful when I started to talk in public at university, when I had to talk about a work and those things. I even have receibed greetings from other students because of how good I am at that.

So, I seriously encourage you to take those lessons. You will enjoy it a lot, will make new friends and, overall, you will learn things that will be useful for your life forever :D

Good luck!!
countrystrata's avatar
i do need to learn how to use my voice. thanks for the encouragement :)
just-a-doodler's avatar
One of my friends was really shy and she went to acting lessons and she's so different! She's so much more confident, happy and wants to become an actress now.
Lots of people say it works. Never really helped me, though. :P
I'd go for it. It's really helped my friend.
Also - I'm exactly the same with hating to talk too people. :P
countrystrata's avatar
:) thanks for the advice. i thinking i might actually go for it. even if i don't get passed one or two sessions it will break me out of this rut im in and get me out of my comfort zone.
reianne's avatar
I'm not really a shy person but in a way I'm like you, always hesitant to talk to people. I've developed some sort of strategy in socializing... You can use it if you feel like doing it or if it suits your characteristics.

Firstly, as much as I can, I avoid talking to people in groups of more than 2, because I feel that in groups of 3 or more it will feel awkward to not contribute anything to the "talk". I usually talk to people one person at a time, like spend some time with one person, just talking about the weather or asking suggestions or advice. I don't talk to them about myself at all unless I feel they're my true friend. One thing you can do is.. rather focusing on yourself, focus on others. Ask them what they did over the weekend, let them talk. Then when the time comes that these people are talking in groups, even if you just laugh or not say anything, they'll most probably be OK with you being just like that.

And yes, practicing helps a lot! It is said it takes 21 days to learn or unlearn a habit. So good luck!

Ah, it feels weird for me sharing my way of life XD
countrystrata's avatar
interesting strategy. i'll have to try that. and 21 days to unlearn a habit? ooh that's gonna be tough. thanks! :)
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countrystrata's avatar
well this would be private lessons. so no classmates. and if i dont like the teacher i can quit. it's pay by lessons so i wouldn't have a financial commitment if i do it.
Wolfdog10's avatar
This might help!

www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/j…

It is a personality test. I myself have a INTJ type which pretty much means I am highly inverted. Not talking a lot isn't a bad thing, I rarely talk. What you show is an introverted personality expression.
Something about that here
blogs.discovermagazine.com/cru…

But there is so much more on this topic!
countrystrata's avatar
i'll have a look. thanks.
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reianne's avatar
I don't think it's inaccurate for me, I always get INTJ with whatever or however long the test I'm taking is. Well, I think all of us wants/needs a quiet moment every now and then... I'm an INTJ but I do like talking to people when I have nothing else to do.
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reianne's avatar
Good for you! :)
MeowPic's avatar
It is scary taking the plunge for an unknown class, but many will tell you that it would be worth it, or at least it would provide you with something you can take from it. 
If you're worried, can you think of a time where "taking the plunge" worked out for you? Use that as a basis for gaining a bit of confidence in your ability to step out of your shell. It is in all of us and maybe it just takes a bit of effort to release that. 

The fact that you are considering this is a huge step as well. 
countrystrata's avatar
honestly, i've never "taking the plunge" on anything. kinda sad if ya think about it. i'm definitely in a rut.
MeowPic's avatar
Not too sad, it is really difficult. Even if it's nothing significant, it can even be where you talked to the cashier or spoke in class with a presentation. Think of times where you had confidence, no matter how small, and use that to apply to this situation.

The fact that you have a desire to do something is huge. 
countrystrata's avatar
i think i'm getting there. i just need to push myself a bit more. i might actually do it. i hope i do it. i need a break in my mundane routine i've gotten myself into.
Rachopin77's avatar
You really just have to work on breaking the habit you have of not speaking or giving short answers. Most of your personality and the ways you act are just habitual, and you can change them just like any other habit. It just takes some work. You don't really need to take an acting class, you just have to make a concerted effort to talk to people and not be quiet. Eventually, if you stick to it, it will be more second nature.

Talk to lots of strangers. It helps a lot. And be sure when you do talk you project your voice. Most of people's reactions to what you say has to do with how you said it. That's why two people can say the same joke and one might be way funnier.

But you really just have to work at changing your natural habitual response to things. I used to be really shy and quiet around people, but I decided I'd change that and started talking louder and talking to more people. Eventually it became natural, and as I had more success with it, I got more confident. Now I'm not shy at all. It's not even like I'm just covering it up, I'm just not anymore. 

It might help you to read some stuff about acting and public speaking, but it really isn't that necessary to take a class unless you really want to. Also, what you really need to do is just get more comfortable with people in general, which reading and classes won't necessarily fix
countrystrata's avatar
never thought of habit. thanks for the advice :)
GoGo-T-W's avatar
Acting lessons would at least probably give you more people to talk to in the first place.

It can make your speech more articulate, which would be good for things like interviews. But it might not give you much content to talk to people about. It might work as a confidence booster which could in general help you talk to people more. 

If it's something you want to do, go for it. 
countrystrata's avatar
i'm trying to talk myself into it. thanks :)
GoGo-T-W's avatar
You can obligate yourself to doing it by signing up in a fit of madness. I have to take classes to get important things done, like exercise, so I make it an obligation to someone else.