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February 21, 2013
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My friend is going to get stuck and be a loser.

:iconcharcoalandchuckles:
charcoalandchuckles Feb 21, 2013  Student General Artist
So basically one of my friends, seems to be going nowhere with her life, and she has no ambition to. The two of us are seniors, but she hasn't done anything with her life to transistion into being a young adult. She didn't take the SAT's not even for in regards forapplying to college, but the community college system in my area, accepts if you get a certain score you can skip english and even get into the scholar program at the community college. She hasn't even looked at what classes she wants to take or save up any kind of funds to pay for it, since her parents won't. Also, she has no prospect or interest getting a job, she hasn't put her self out there in any respect, I almost got her to apply to the local fast food joint where I work, but she didn't actually send in the application because her boyfriend said, "to not conform." Okay, her boyfriend is actually a nice guy, I was friends with him before they started datin, it's just that he's a sophomore with pretty bad ADD, who can't really relate to having to be a senior in high school, getting ready to grow up. When my friend started dating this guy last year, she pushed all her friends away and literally the two of them only hang out with each other. Half of the time this friend doesn't even show up to school, which could prevent her from graduating on time.

When I try and sugges she go to trade school, she gets insulted because trade school too predestrian for her, even though her GPA and work ethic is absolute shit.

Basically, this friend has no prospect career wise, high education wise or leanring a trade and she;s just going to live with her parents, extending her childhood because of her sophomore boyfriend and she can't handle an ounce of responsibility.

Everything above may sound mean, but I do love her as a friend and I don't want to come back home from college and see her there, doing nothing with hr life, because I'd feeli like it would be my fault.
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Devious Comments

:iconbeesull:
First off... Whatever she does with her life is her decision, and hence not your fault!

Secondly... Some people just take longer to grow up. Some people take longer to decide what they want to do with their lives. She may just need time to think things through, instead of rushing into something she isn't sure about (and having to find a way to pay for it). Everything else is really between her and her parents, her living situation really isn't about you.

Further... The economy is hard right now and college is expensive, it took me a while to find a decent job with a degree from a good school. College may not be the best choice for everyone (although I am glad that I went). I would try asking her what she wants to do and see how that works!

Anyway, I think you sound like a great friend who cares a lot! The above is just my opinion. I hope everything turns out for the best!
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:iconexkyuubi:
Firstly don't blame yourself for the misdeed of your friend. She choose who else see wanted to associate with all this time. What you can do is offer advice, and be there to listen or share thoughts. Show up and insist that she do something, anything as long as she tries to be productive and happy. All you can do is set an example for your friend to see, and point a helping hand in a right direction. You have to be able to help yourself before you can help anyone else. Make her realize this, and that she is important to others so she should be important to herself. Maybe she will wake up and do so.
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:iconcharcoalandchuckles:
charcoalandchuckles Feb 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Whenever I try doing that, she brushes my suggestions off. I follow your advice more closely though and see what that does
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:icondreamworld88:
Dreamworld88 Feb 22, 2013  Student Writer
Try to encourage her. I hope she doesn't become like my uncle, living off my grandmother's money with no college degree. Some people really have no ambition. I hope your friend isn't one of them.
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:iconcharcoalandchuckles:
charcoalandchuckles Feb 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Honestly...that sounds like what she would become...
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Feb 22, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
About the living with parents, they'll get tired of her someday.
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:iconcharcoalandchuckles:
charcoalandchuckles Feb 24, 2013  Student General Artist
They haven't gotten tired of her sister yet whose 22/23. Anyways, my friends mom and her aunt both lived with her grandma until my friend was 8 years old.
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Feb 24, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
eh, then so be it. If they are comfortable with that then let them be.

You can't make someone else live the life you think they should. Worry about yourself. If you don't approve of her choices then don't be around her.
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Feb 22, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
You can't fix other people.

Some people are like that. I've lost lots of friends over the years because they never got past 16 mentally and I just couldn't deal with them anymore without wanting to hit them.

Sometimes good people become losers. You just have to hope one morning she wakes up, looks around, goes 'What the hell have I been doing?' and gets herself back together.
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:iconcharcoalandchuckles:
charcoalandchuckles Feb 24, 2013  Student General Artist
Honestly, it seems like she's regressed back to being 14-15 rather than being 18.

I mean, that would be great if she woke up, but because of her mom's earlier lifestyle of being in a band like the rock lifestyle consumed her mom's whole life and she kind of lives in it's former glory and is part of another band now and the fact the her mom lived with her grandma until my friend was 8, my friend has no healthy influence to make her realize her soon to be deadbeat lifestyle. Well, except her boyfriend's family who could have a positive influence, I've already talked to her boyfriends mom about my feeling about her future (his mom and I are friends).
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