You most definitely have some form of anxiety (many in my family suffer it). It's nothing to worry about and can be managed through the right channels. The easiest way to alleviate some of your worry without drugs is to just talk to someone, even if it's a good friend or relative. If you're a minor then I suggest telling your parents and let them know what you're going through. In any case, don't try dealing with it on your own.
If you're so worried about some of these things that it is interfering in your own life (which it sounds like it is), you might want to seek out a therapist. Also, it does not hurt to seek out help and then see about finding someone who is willing to negotiate on a price. These kinds of things are difficult to talk about.
[link] <-- the American Psychology Association's psychologist locator. Hopefully this should help you get started for looking up therapists in your area.
That said, and though it will be hard, do whatever you can to get outside of your comfort zone. Learning to drive is a scary thing when you're just starting out. I didn't learn to drive until the year I got out of college, and I was a wreck (not literally!) when I had a passenger. And it is doubly worse if it is a parent, but that is perfectly normal to worry that much.
I can understand the fear of failure; it is not an easy thing to get over. For videogames, especially since they're supposed to be a release valve for stress instead of an additional stresser, if they're freaking you out put them on easy and have fun blowing away bad guys. And if you want an extra challenge or if it's too easy, bump up the difficulty. Try to find the love of doing things because you love doing them and not for any external rewards like praise or money. Money is good and needed unfortunately but somehow you need to learn to compartmentalize and separate that from your love of art so you can keep drawing for yourself.
I'm not a therapist by any means, but it sounds like you might have anxiety or learned helplessness. Do some research, and don't let any little voice or worry in your head convince you to not get help or improve your symptoms. It sounds like you are stuck in loops that are limiting your choices instead of finding ways to improve things.
Also, it sounds cliche, but eating right, exercise, and getting enough sleep every night can also help.
I could be wrong, but I think your illness is: timidity, and the perscription is: life.
Get Out There be bold. Do things. you will find life opening up to you sooner than you think.
If television makes you afraid, stop watching television.
do you lose at video games? learn to laugh at yourself. I suck at video games too. that didn't stop me from playing them.
Get Out There. Do it. be a man. You will feel good , you will know you have done something, you will learn to find a thrill in the excitement of life.
Maybe my advice is too hard? if so, here is a little tidbit to make it easier ( a spoonful of sugar). What in life makes you really happy? find that thing, and start investing yourself in it. this will make you slowly, and easily able to open yourself up and become more well-balanced person.
if you don't know what makes you happy start with this adage: do to others what you want done to you. if continued, this will eventually lead you to something that makes you happy.
once more, if i haven't said it enough, Get Out There.
You don't need a doctor to tell you that you're freaking out over essentially nothing, but a diagnosis would definitely help because then you can start down the path to recovery. Googling something in your area is a start; just type in "mental health services *insert name of area here*", or something to that effect, and check out whatever comes up.
I know it's cliche, but believe in yourself. Fear will get you no where. Sometimes we have to take risks....and it feels great once you've succeeded. Failure will only make you understand how to succeed better the next time, so don't fear failure either. Try to draw and play games....that might bring your spirits up. Eating some good food helps too.
Play RPG type games like Final Fantasy or story based games. I hate playing online games because I can't stand people online (especially while playing games). They are too competitive and rude.
Start drawing a simple drawing each day. Spend any time on it. Honestly, it could be a 5 second doodle of a stick man. The fact that you draw each day matters. I've been drawing for a month each day, having a quick cat face or my next tattoo design type quality, and I've already seen improvement in my skills and confidence as an artist!
You seem to have a lot of fears. Why are you letting any fear hold you back to doing things you want to do? Aren't you tired of it having control over your life?
I do want to redraw my old drawings again, but I held a poll on that on my profile and more people want me to make fresh new drawings than those who are okay with me redrawing. A lot of people are saying "Draw for yourself and not for others", but what if you are seeking a job as an artist? That advice goes out the window real fast, since you DO have to draw for others. Even if I'm doing this just as a hobby, I do sometimes feel inadequate. I mean, I'm 27 and Pablo Picasso mastered art when he was what...in his teens? There are plenty of people on the internet who are younger than I am and they could draw better than I can. And a friend asked me what my goals were. The problem is, I feel like I'm going backwards, because I don't feel like I have goals anymore. I can't just make new ones NOW, because I already passed that stage when I graduated college.
I have drawn lots of characters, but I've only focused on the visual aspect, and not the story aspect, but they just don't feel original. I don't feel like much of a storyteller. People say "read more books", but the problem is that most novels are hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of pages long. I don't have THAT much stamina or willingness to read all that. I've avoided Tolkien's works because of the length. I avoid watching most continuous TV shows because of length and having to go all the way to the beginning and having to climb all the way up the mountain to where everyone else is.
I don't play online games most of the time, so don't worry.
In the Wind Rises
Tribute Contest, we
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Lilyas has dedicated herself to making our community a brighter place with her vibrant artwork and infectious enthusiasm for interacting with others in our community. It has certainly paid off, as many deviants flock to her page on a daily basis to let her know how much of an inspiration she is. We absolutely agree, and couldn't let all that hard work go without recognition, so it's with great pride that we bestow the Deviousness Award for March 2014, to ... Read More