TheNAUGHTicalLifeFeatured By OwnerFeb 18, 2013Professional Writer
You most definitely have some form of anxiety (many in my family suffer it). It's nothing to worry about and can be managed through the right channels. The easiest way to alleviate some of your worry without drugs is to just talk to someone, even if it's a good friend or relative. If you're a minor then I suggest telling your parents and let them know what you're going through. In any case, don't try dealing with it on your own.
If you're so worried about some of these things that it is interfering in your own life (which it sounds like it is), you might want to seek out a therapist. Also, it does not hurt to seek out help and then see about finding someone who is willing to negotiate on a price. These kinds of things are difficult to talk about.
[link] <-- the American Psychology Association's psychologist locator. Hopefully this should help you get started for looking up therapists in your area.
That said, and though it will be hard, do whatever you can to get outside of your comfort zone. Learning to drive is a scary thing when you're just starting out. I didn't learn to drive until the year I got out of college, and I was a wreck (not literally!) when I had a passenger. And it is doubly worse if it is a parent, but that is perfectly normal to worry that much.
I can understand the fear of failure; it is not an easy thing to get over. For videogames, especially since they're supposed to be a release valve for stress instead of an additional stresser, if they're freaking you out put them on easy and have fun blowing away bad guys. And if you want an extra challenge or if it's too easy, bump up the difficulty. Try to find the love of doing things because you love doing them and not for any external rewards like praise or money. Money is good and needed unfortunately but somehow you need to learn to compartmentalize and separate that from your love of art so you can keep drawing for yourself.
I'm not a therapist by any means, but it sounds like you might have anxiety or learned helplessness. Do some research, and don't let any little voice or worry in your head convince you to not get help or improve your symptoms. It sounds like you are stuck in loops that are limiting your choices instead of finding ways to improve things.
Also, it sounds cliche, but eating right, exercise, and getting enough sleep every night can also help.
I could be wrong, but I think your illness is: timidity, and the perscription is: life.
Get Out There be bold. Do things. you will find life opening up to you sooner than you think.
If television makes you afraid, stop watching television.
do you lose at video games? learn to laugh at yourself. I suck at video games too. that didn't stop me from playing them.
Get Out There. Do it. be a man. You will feel good , you will know you have done something, you will learn to find a thrill in the excitement of life.
Maybe my advice is too hard? if so, here is a little tidbit to make it easier ( a spoonful of sugar). What in life makes you really happy? find that thing, and start investing yourself in it. this will make you slowly, and easily able to open yourself up and become more well-balanced person.
if you don't know what makes you happy start with this adage: do to others what you want done to you. if continued, this will eventually lead you to something that makes you happy.
once more, if i haven't said it enough, Get Out There.
You don't need a doctor to tell you that you're freaking out over essentially nothing, but a diagnosis would definitely help because then you can start down the path to recovery. Googling something in your area is a start; just type in "mental health services *insert name of area here*", or something to that effect, and check out whatever comes up.
I know it's cliche, but believe in yourself. Fear will get you no where. Sometimes we have to take risks....and it feels great once you've succeeded. Failure will only make you understand how to succeed better the next time, so don't fear failure either. Try to draw and play games....that might bring your spirits up. Eating some good food helps too.
Play RPG type games like Final Fantasy or story based games. I hate playing online games because I can't stand people online (especially while playing games). They are too competitive and rude.
Start drawing a simple drawing each day. Spend any time on it. Honestly, it could be a 5 second doodle of a stick man. The fact that you draw each day matters. I've been drawing for a month each day, having a quick cat face or my next tattoo design type quality, and I've already seen improvement in my skills and confidence as an artist!
You seem to have a lot of fears. Why are you letting any fear hold you back to doing things you want to do? Aren't you tired of it having control over your life?
I do want to redraw my old drawings again, but I held a poll on that on my profile and more people want me to make fresh new drawings than those who are okay with me redrawing. A lot of people are saying "Draw for yourself and not for others", but what if you are seeking a job as an artist? That advice goes out the window real fast, since you DO have to draw for others. Even if I'm doing this just as a hobby, I do sometimes feel inadequate. I mean, I'm 27 and Pablo Picasso mastered art when he was what...in his teens? There are plenty of people on the internet who are younger than I am and they could draw better than I can. And a friend asked me what my goals were. The problem is, I feel like I'm going backwards, because I don't feel like I have goals anymore. I can't just make new ones NOW, because I already passed that stage when I graduated college.
I have drawn lots of characters, but I've only focused on the visual aspect, and not the story aspect, but they just don't feel original. I don't feel like much of a storyteller. People say "read more books", but the problem is that most novels are hundreds, if not THOUSANDS of pages long. I don't have THAT much stamina or willingness to read all that. I've avoided Tolkien's works because of the length. I avoid watching most continuous TV shows because of length and having to go all the way to the beginning and having to climb all the way up the mountain to where everyone else is.
I don't play online games most of the time, so don't worry.
Are there any universities nearby you or are you currently attending college? Most colleges have some sort of free therapy program for their students where they will be able to help you, and if you live near a college even, you can often get discounted rates on services from therapists who are learning their trade.
I absolutely did not read a single word you wrote.
But let's be honest, I don't have to. As someone who plays a doctor on the internet, I have all the qualifications to diagnose you with the utmost accuracy as a trained monkey. Self diagnosing, or asking strangers on the internet to diagnose you is a perfect way to acquire whatever special snowflake disorder you want, without having to deal with the responsibility of taking real course of action and going to see an actual professional about what you feel is a problem, or having to face the fear that there may not be something wrong with you, and then what are you going to blame your life on and make excuses with.
I tend to find in my profession as psuedo-doctor that those with genuine disorders and disabilities realize that something is wrong and go to a professional to take care of it. They also don't expose their disorder to the world, rather trying to be normal. And while their disorder may affect them at times, they do not use it as an excuse, rather use their strength to overcome it.
In all honesty, if you really wanted to know you would have gone to a professional and found out. But if you want self-validation for your self-diagnosing, welcome, there is no shortage of people that will tell you that you have anything you want to believe so you can feel "special" and not take accountability for your own life. May I suggest that while you're at it, try to acquire some other more interesting disorders such as narcolepsy or dissociative identity disorder. Maybe you could even try to catch them all, and you don't ever have to worry about it being true or not, because if you really were concerned about it, you'd go to a specialist.
Yes, you do. Google for free, low cost, or sliding scale therapy in your city. I have problems with anxiety myself, and it is so worth it to knock them out of the way and get on with your life.
In the meantime, make sure you're taking care of yourself. Get enough sleep, eat healthy stuff, exercise. Intense cardio exercises like running will take the edge off your anxiety.
Don't watch so much tv because you're seeing a lot of shows that have only the worst possible scenarios. If you're dating a well-adjusted person, they're not going to accuse you of cheating or hate your guts or whatever. Hell's Kitchen is deliberately scary because it makes for good television. Most restaurants will not be like that because nobody wants to work in a horrible environment.
Before you decide you can't afford treatment, look into free and low cost mental health clinics. I get all my visits and meds free at our local mental health clinic because I don't qualify for gov't aid and can't afford to pay for insurance or the meds (which would run $150-300/mo). All I had to do was give them all my financial information and they took care of the rest.
The requirements for mental health care are usually easier to meet than those for physical.
Your local DFCS or health department can help you find somewhere to go.
It can be because of brain chemistry issues to begin with, or can just be a habit you got into. Either way, first priority is to treat that. Then you can start fixing other thing.
How to treat it depends on what you want to do. I always advise going to a doctor. They'll probably give you meds (warning: if they want to give you paxil do not let them, it's a fine drug but should only be used if you're going to be on it forever, no matter what they say it's not something you can take if you ever want to go off of it. It needs to be the last option, not the first) and may get you set up for therapy.
Whether or not you do that, there are some things you can try at home. Meditation is a good start. Also calming herbs like chamomile and Valerian.
Some of that anxiety needs exposure to be treated. That means putting yourself in an uncomfortable situation and making yourself stay there (each time you get uncomfortable and leave or stop, you reenforce that bad behavior. You have to undo that by forcing yourself to deal with it.)
Ok my dear, you seem to be watching way too much television. I'm being serious. My dad, who worked as a local TV producer for many years, calls the shows you mention "junk food television" meaning it is the TV equivalent of junk food; it may be satisfying at the time but in the end it does nothing to enrich your life or improve you. In your case the junk food TV seems to be degrading your lifestyle, so that's even worse!
Instead of watching TV, try to focus on other activties such as reading books or comics, going on walks outside, working out, keeping a journal of any random thought or idea you have, listening to music, and yes, even playing video games or working on art (practice makes perfect). If you MUST watch TV, watch something wholesome like (in the US) a PBS show. Try to find shows that teach you new things (documentaries, cooking shows, art shows) rather than try to scare you with visions of how bad the world can be (those shows are often exaggerated just to get ratings up!!).
As for driving a car, you totally don't ever have to learn. I have more than one adult friend who live productive, independent lives and they have never even wanted to drive. They get about town by walking or cycling and if they want to leave town they hitch a ride with a friend or take the bus. So do not worry about driving anymore, you don't HAVE to :3
Finally, all the problems you listed above seem to stem from over-thinking and fearing the worst-case scenario. It won't be that bad! I know it's not that easy to get over your fears so just start small, take one thing at a time. Test the waters, so to speak. For instance, just get a short-term, part-time summer job first. Then you can build up confidence and the employment will end after just a few months so you can evaluate your experience. Maybe you'll even do such a good job, they'll ask you to stay longer! And you wouldn't have to stay longer if you didn't feel confident but at least you'd still know you did a really good job as an employee.
So, to sum up, get away from that junk food TV and address your problems one-by-one with small steps. I'm sure your outlook will improve
You have no obligation towards video games. Video games exist to entertain you. If you're bad at one, either stop playing it if it annoys you, keep playing it if you enjoy it regardless or enjoy trying to get better at it. When I play games like Saint's Row for example, a tenth of the time it's attempting to play the game seriously and the rest of the time it's just me enjoying trying to get myself killed in the most spectacular way I can. If you're playing / watching entertainment for any other reason than your own enjoyment, you're doing it wrong.
As for life, sitting in a box and never actually experiencing any of it should scare you a lot more. So what if you lose your job or if you screw up other things? You're not the first and you're nowhere near to being the last person to do it. You HAVE to make mistakes to learn and better yourself. It's all part of your journey and your journey will take you some interesting places. From what I heard accidents in and around the home are even more likely than on the road. You have to take chances, that's life. Maybe you'll end up in the hospital some day. Maybe you'll end up meeting awesome new friends there. Life can be funny like that. So just go with it and enjoy the ride.