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February 11, 2013


Replies: 5

Did I do the Right Thing?

SaddestLandscape Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
So, a friend (let's say friend A) of mine has serious feelings for this girl. Another friend of mine, friend B and i completely support him. But "friend" C who talks to the girl quite frequently told her that she should say no because friend A is a bad person.

My friends A and B have been rather cold to him, and he doesn't know why (he's unaware that we know what he has said at this point) and he messaged me asking why. I told him that it's because he told that girl to say no to friend A and that he's both trying to deny friend A of this immense happiness i've never seen him enjoy and he's trying to make the girl's decision for her.

He got upset at me because he insists that friend A is an awful person, and i asked him why. He said he lies constantly, but all of the examples he gave me weren't actually lies. He also said that he's a sex-crazed womanizer because we make typical guy jokes frequently. I told him that he's making assumptions from the outside and that he doesn't know friend A very well, nor does he know what's best for the girl.

He tells me that i constantly overlook all of my friends' flaws and continues to insult basically every mutual friend we have. I got upset, and i told him that he's being a condescending prick and that he's claiming to know everything about a person's character only by what he sees on the outside.

He told me that I was blind for supporting friend A, and i told him that if he knows how people work so well, then he should know enough about himself to know how to fix his own problems, instead of loading them onto other people with enough problems already. He said that he just doesn't care about himself and is trying to, which is why he attends therapy. I told him that he can't try to care about himself if he didn't care at all in the first place.

At this point, i was pretty mad, so i said, "But anyways, I'm done with dealing with you. You're a high maintenance friend with low reward. Now that i've finally said that, I feel like a great burden has been lifted. Next time, don't claim to know a person better than they know themselves."

He has a history of being depressed and has made a suicide threat before (though it was for a ridiculous reason). But we have to treat him differently so that he doesn't get offended, since he's so damn sensitive, and he doesn't respect us very much. I don't want him to do anything drastic, but i seriously don't want to deal with him.

also, I'm sorry for the wall of text. and sorry if the Friend A/B/C thing annoys you, i don't like naming them by name.

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Devious Comments

chik-a-dee Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Professional General Artist
you stood your ground and said the truth right? theres nothing wrong with that. obviously this c guy needs help dealing with his own issues, and though it may be a noble task to try and befriend him and put up with him, faking a friendship especially if he is hurting you or those around you is not worth the time. obviously im not saying he is less of a person or anything, but theres only so much you can do, hes not really your responsibility. the best thing would be to encourage him to get more help and maybe talk to his parents (tho idk the exact situation he is in) dont feel bad tho, the best thing i think you can do for someone is be honest, and even though c may not like it, it is his fault for not understanding that friendship is not unconditional.
m-AliceM Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Mental health issues don`t give anyone the right to harm other lives and relationships. I think I would have acted the same way if I were you.
GeNeRaLLuLz Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
Awww nothing but a little love drama
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student Writer
I don't know if it was the right or wrong thing to do, but if you don't like the guy then you shouldn't pretend to be his friend because he's too sensitive to handle it otherwise. I probably would have done the same in that situation.
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
You can use false names which is better than trying to keep A,B, and C straight. That seems too impersonal.
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