I just want to know what you think about this...
Hi
I had a friend, the friend had some very bad problems some time ago
Which were real, but again, long time ago
So i started realizing that even if the scars were real, this person talked so much about it, always, at all times, makes art showing how much life has been hard on her life. Then i understood that she had a new problem. She was getting addicted to the attention and the pity of others when she exposed what happened to her
So, eventually things got to me basically saying this:
-Hey, I am sorry, but even if you are fooling everyone else with your self-pity, I can tell you are now addicted to all that attention!, that is not going to help you!
To tell EVERYONE how sick you are, and ACT sick, is not going to help you, AND YOU KNOW IT, you just love the attention! And even if your problems were and are real, they are in the past, you have a new problem-
Needless to say, suddenly i become the bad guy, and the f-ing a-hole
The thing is that now aches so much to be alone because of that. Makes me wonder why i wanted to help what i considered my only friend if this is my reward
Usually when someone rejects my help, i just move on and wish them a good life
But for some reason this time is breaking me, and it started to show on my job, on my art and projects, and my personality also.
I'm really struggling to overcome this, but i feel like i am draining all my energy.
To the point i am here, posting this to all of you strangers… Which makes me feel humbled and a little uncomfortable, as i do believe that the internet does NOT help to solve problems like this...
Yet... i am getting desperate of feeling this way
Thanks for reading
Thoughts? I feel like i can't be objective about this anymore
I had a friend, the friend had some very bad problems some time ago
Which were real, but again, long time ago
So i started realizing that even if the scars were real, this person talked so much about it, always, at all times, makes art showing how much life has been hard on her life. Then i understood that she had a new problem. She was getting addicted to the attention and the pity of others when she exposed what happened to her
So, eventually things got to me basically saying this:
-Hey, I am sorry, but even if you are fooling everyone else with your self-pity, I can tell you are now addicted to all that attention!, that is not going to help you!
To tell EVERYONE how sick you are, and ACT sick, is not going to help you, AND YOU KNOW IT, you just love the attention! And even if your problems were and are real, they are in the past, you have a new problem-
Needless to say, suddenly i become the bad guy, and the f-ing a-hole
The thing is that now aches so much to be alone because of that. Makes me wonder why i wanted to help what i considered my only friend if this is my reward
Usually when someone rejects my help, i just move on and wish them a good life
But for some reason this time is breaking me, and it started to show on my job, on my art and projects, and my personality also.
I'm really struggling to overcome this, but i feel like i am draining all my energy.
To the point i am here, posting this to all of you strangers… Which makes me feel humbled and a little uncomfortable, as i do believe that the internet does NOT help to solve problems like this...
Yet... i am getting desperate of feeling this way
Thanks for reading
Thoughts? I feel like i can't be objective about this anymore
Comments57
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In
just step away, if she solved her problems but became an attention seeker, might aswell do it.
Personally I can't handle those people, I just feel like I need to hit them with something.
Personally I can't handle those people, I just feel like I need to hit them with something.
It's funny, because i always feel that way, that i want to hit them with a bat or something haha
And at some level, i kind of did with my words :T
But yeah, been stepping away on the last month!
Thanks!
And at some level, i kind of did with my words :T
But yeah, been stepping away on the last month!
Thanks!
Did she get help for the problem in the past? Even if it was a long time ago, it could seem very real to her if she never got proper help for it. I mean, obviously I don't know exactly what she went through but something happened to me a while ago. The person who did it got away with it so the thing still seems very real to me, but at least I have blackmail material. Perhaps that's what's happening to your friend. She could be crying out for help.
She got help from the past, from countless people and also profesional help
She even has a therapist and a counselor for which she has not to pay for. :T
Yes the problem is real for her. However what happens is that everyone has problems, and i simply do not agree with wasting life away.
Now, i don't want to sound insensitive, specially when you tell me that the person that harmed you got away with it ): I know that is a little off topic, and i am a stranger to you, but i do believe that karma exists, which means that not only those who do harm will get what they deserve, but also means that if something was taken from you, it will be payed off
Yes... she was crying for help, thing is that when help arrived, she kept crying for help... Do you understand why do i see a problem there? /:
She even has a therapist and a counselor for which she has not to pay for. :T
Yes the problem is real for her. However what happens is that everyone has problems, and i simply do not agree with wasting life away.
Now, i don't want to sound insensitive, specially when you tell me that the person that harmed you got away with it ): I know that is a little off topic, and i am a stranger to you, but i do believe that karma exists, which means that not only those who do harm will get what they deserve, but also means that if something was taken from you, it will be payed off
Yes... she was crying for help, thing is that when help arrived, she kept crying for help... Do you understand why do i see a problem there? /:
Ah, I see. Put that way, it does sound like it is the attention she is enjoying. I don't think there really is a lot you can do for her, but if you leave her then maybe she will see it as a wake-up call. Good luck! 
Thank you very much (:
The best of luck to you too!
The best of luck to you too!
I had to learn the hard way that Honesty is simply not always appreciated. Especially blunt honesty. It's like what happened to Galileo: if somebody's benefiting from a lie, they have no reason to discontinue the lie, and they can go to some truly terrifying lengths to keep it continuing.
If you want her back in your life, contact her. If you don't, don't. I understand it's hard to decide, but doubt in itself shows that you probably don't want her around, and you're probably (read: almost certainly) better off without her...
If you want her back in your life, contact her. If you don't, don't. I understand it's hard to decide, but doubt in itself shows that you probably don't want her around, and you're probably (read: almost certainly) better off without her...
Ah! Blunt honesty! Everyone wants to say it, but no one wants tu hear it! haha
You are completely right about someone benefiting from a lie, i have not think about that...
We humans are a very curious species huh? /:
I am better without her.. We both are better without each other, for that matter
The decision has been made
But sometimes the soul is stubborn ...
But fear not! Reason has always prevailed in the end!
Thanks man! I really appreciate your insights
You are completely right about someone benefiting from a lie, i have not think about that...
We humans are a very curious species huh? /:
I am better without her.. We both are better without each other, for that matter
The decision has been made
But sometimes the soul is stubborn ...
But fear not! Reason has always prevailed in the end!
Thanks man! I really appreciate your insights
Curious isn't the word, buddy...
And you're welcome! Good luck with everything!
And you're welcome! Good luck with everything!
that's why i used italics, ha ;D
Thanks man!
Thanks man!
Yer welcome!
I'd never trust you to listen to any problem of mine, not after reading that. You got what you deserved.
D'awww, aren't you are rebellious sweetness? C:
Dear cxmb,
I sincerely hope you read my comment, because I feel I have to say something of value to you.
You might have been right about what you said to your friend, however, in friendship
The truth is that if what you said separated you from your friend you might have to humble yourself, take it back and make up for it, as if you were wrong.
The reason is: people are not always able to handle the truth. Emotionally, people are all like little children. sometimes they just aren't ready at this point to handle the fact that their actions are wrong or destructive.
My advice would be to apologize and do whatever it takes to make up with your friend. This is a sacrifice, but it sounds like you care enough about your friend to perhaps make such a sacrifice. Then, learn to accept the fact that your friend needs time to grow up, mature and learn to handle her past in a healthy manner.
I do hope that you can work this all out.
remember this one: humility is the glue that sticks people together.
I sincerely hope you read my comment, because I feel I have to say something of value to you.
You might have been right about what you said to your friend, however, in friendship
- being right does not matter
The truth is that if what you said separated you from your friend you might have to humble yourself, take it back and make up for it, as if you were wrong.
The reason is: people are not always able to handle the truth. Emotionally, people are all like little children. sometimes they just aren't ready at this point to handle the fact that their actions are wrong or destructive.
My advice would be to apologize and do whatever it takes to make up with your friend. This is a sacrifice, but it sounds like you care enough about your friend to perhaps make such a sacrifice. Then, learn to accept the fact that your friend needs time to grow up, mature and learn to handle her past in a healthy manner.
I do hope that you can work this all out.
remember this one: humility is the glue that sticks people together.
I like how you put your thoughts down on paper... Or in this situation, the screen 
Yes, i absolutely agree, that being right doesn't matter, but i honestly don't think i did what i did because i wanted to be right, but because i was worried... And granted, i am not the best when it comes to speak carefully
I have been humbled by this by now, and what i am doing to make up for it, is that if she doesn't talk, i wont talk either
Why? Let me put you an example, have you seen this situation when a random person is in an art gallery and by accident this person stains a particular picture?
Well, i feel like if i was that person, talking again to her would be like panicking about the piece, grabbing a cloth and started to "clean" my stain, just to realize i am making a bigger mess distorting the paint of the actual piece
Again, i would like to follow your advice and apologize... But i am scared of what would happen if we talk again.
You say maybe she needs time to grow up, and i believe is true, but i also believe i need that. And at least for now, i know i wouldn't be able to handle all this in the best way it should
I'm trying to be more humble now
I really appreciate your reply! Thanks!
Yes, i absolutely agree, that being right doesn't matter, but i honestly don't think i did what i did because i wanted to be right, but because i was worried... And granted, i am not the best when it comes to speak carefully
I have been humbled by this by now, and what i am doing to make up for it, is that if she doesn't talk, i wont talk either
Why? Let me put you an example, have you seen this situation when a random person is in an art gallery and by accident this person stains a particular picture?
Well, i feel like if i was that person, talking again to her would be like panicking about the piece, grabbing a cloth and started to "clean" my stain, just to realize i am making a bigger mess distorting the paint of the actual piece
Again, i would like to follow your advice and apologize... But i am scared of what would happen if we talk again.
You say maybe she needs time to grow up, and i believe is true, but i also believe i need that. And at least for now, i know i wouldn't be able to handle all this in the best way it should
I'm trying to be more humble now
I really appreciate your reply! Thanks!
Have you talked to that person since that happened? perhaps you simply need closure, in order to put it behind you. You tried to support this person so this isn't something that just happened - its something you care about. but from the sounds of things they aren't (or weren't ) in the best of places and not many people like having their problems told to them by other people even if it was necessary. Understand that it's something that just happened and that there isn't anything that you can do about it until they realize on their own that they have a problem. you really can't help someone that doesn't want to be helped - no matter how much you wish you could.
You can't let someone else effect you like this - easier said than done, i know - on the end you have your own life and your own problems and you can't always be worried about someone else. It isn't good for you. Best of luck with everything.
You can't let someone else effect you like this - easier said than done, i know - on the end you have your own life and your own problems and you can't always be worried about someone else. It isn't good for you. Best of luck with everything.
Oh i definitively need closure! she just cut off communication like if i was a dog she got bored of, or something /: idk
Yeah, i understand what you tell me, i understand how it must be from her side, yet i was having some extra trouble moving on, but thanks to everyone that has replied to me over here i am making some progress (:
thank you very much!
Yeah, i understand what you tell me, i understand how it must be from her side, yet i was having some extra trouble moving on, but thanks to everyone that has replied to me over here i am making some progress (:
thank you very much!
then maybe you should talk to her again and let her know whats going on?
I'm glad you're getting better, it's my pleasre
I'm glad you're getting better, it's my pleasre
Oh i can't talk to her, i am scared to contact her by this point.
If i am honest, i feel like it would only lead to a bigger mess /:
And has been like 5 months now, maybe she has moved on by now and doesn't matter to her, i don't want to come back and remind her things she already left behind. I'm she is struggling whit a lot right now..
If i am honest, i feel like it would only lead to a bigger mess /:
And has been like 5 months now, maybe she has moved on by now and doesn't matter to her, i don't want to come back and remind her things she already left behind. I'm she is struggling whit a lot right now..
ok i know what you mean. In that case you need to try and put it past you too, if you can't contact her then there's no point in holding onto this
Hehe i knot there is no point on holding onto this
It's so damn annoying, because my mind is like: "What are you doing man?? MOVE ON ALREADY"
But for some reason my soul was having trouble letting go, (from here came my conflict, therefore this post)
But i am moving on, moving on! Getting troughhhhhhhhh (:
It's so damn annoying, because my mind is like: "What are you doing man?? MOVE ON ALREADY"
But for some reason my soul was having trouble letting go, (from here came my conflict, therefore this post)
But i am moving on, moving on! Getting troughhhhhhhhh (:
ah yes well logic doesn't always work
hopefully you can get past this soon
hopefully you can get past this soon
![[link]](https://www.deviantart.com/users/outgoing?http://laurajul.dk/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/the-truth-will-set-you-free-but.jpg){kind=link}
haha, that link is great man! thanks! im on it