TheMarcherFeatured By OwnerFeb 11, 2013Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah me and my girlfriend did. I was like your guy, working and studying a lot. But we tried to make the weekends count as much as possible. And it was nice to have to short periods together because you valued the time you got and there was no time to fight about stupid stuff that you do when you live together.
So try to at least stay the night sometimes. And if everything works out and he realizes that there is more in life than work (took me long enough...) then it might work out.
If he does not make these sacrifices then he might not be the one.
that sounds like a very complicated relationship, long distance or not. I think you need to consider how you feel, and even ask yourself if your needs are being met. To me it doesn't sound like it is worth it, but it's entirely up to you.
That's a really important thing to know and understand.
If he's doing it to get a big raise/promotion and there is a time down the line where he's not going to be working all the time, you just have to work with his time management abilities until then. But you need a definitive gameplan/timeline. Or if his work is project oriented you should expect to see more of him between projects.
If he's a work-a-holic because he's one of those people who does a tremendous amount of free work (bringing shit home all the time) for his bosses to maintain favor or he's one of those unfortunate people who desperately do anything they can for bosses regardless of the payoff for a any of a multitude of irrational reasons you should move on. People like that will ditch their own families for the stupidest of reasons for their jobs/bosses. I knew a moron like that and it was a nightmare for his wife. I'm glad she left the asshole.
If he's a workaholic because that's just what he does, then you need to get him to understand that you're not getting as much time as you think you should in the relationship.
If his future plans do not include you, why do you include him in your life? What do you want in the relationship?
What I think:
He likes you. How much I don't know. But since you go to him he can keep you around until you're too much trouble. Even though he may not be thinking like that he's operating like it. Basically as long as you're going to him and not making him spend time away from work for your needs he'll be cool.
If you try to get him to spend more time on you and the relationship and he gets annoyed or angry, it's 100% proof positive you're a fling.
If he makes an effort to address some of your needs, you might have something.
You're totally right! Thank you so much for this reply (: Neither he nor I have been in a lot of relationships so we both know we have our own personal issues about them. The "keep you are around until you're too much trouble" thing is a real eye opener. I never thought of it like that. I guess the best way to test that is like you said, I need to simply lay out all my terms on the table right upfront, and if he compromises then it's all good, but if he gets annoyed/upset than I need to move on. Thanks so much!!