[link] <--- a list of hotlines Please, please report him. To the police. To CPS. Keep calling, keep trying. You're not only in danger, your sibling is. He is being incredibly abusive and needs mental help. I'm so sorry this happened to you and I hope your situation gets better. ):
FreyaFerenFeatured By OwnerMar 18, 2013Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm really sorry to hear about your situation.
It's incredible how hard it can be to get help in such a situation. Be it from school or the police etc.
For example a friend of mine had a similar situation where her dad "got smart" after almost getting caught and started to make sure there are no mark left after a beating. It got really bad one time when he took her to nearby woods for a beating - scared the hell out of her. There were no marks on her though so she made the bruises on her own and went to the police with a recording she made earlier. She tried to get help for months before that incident but people got really interested only after she got the "proper evidence" -_- At least she FINALLY got some help and a restraining order.
This is a difficult situation, with the ongoing controversy over gay/lesbian status both in military and civilian spheres. If as you perceive your father's PTSD has not been fully addressed then the best option would be for yourself and your sister to approach the VA to intervene and help him with this, I imagine your father would be resistant to any intervention that came from outside the military. As for yourself help is rarely satisfactory but it is still help and making a start with a local LGBT group is still preferable to trying to cope alone, you may meet someone there who has the information you seek.
When I revealed my life choice to my father he drove me 100 miles away and didn't come back for a year! And that was because I told him I wanted to draw comics
I had a great adventure in the intervening time, met some good people, ate fresh squirrel (okay that bit wasn't so good ) and I began to realize that how my father perceived me and my own perceptions of myself would never gel. I persevered with his behavior for another two decades before finally saying 'enough' and we haven't had any contact since.
I love him still and I know deep down he doesn't want to hurt me, he has just become stuck in a cycle which began before I was born that he has been unable to break.
Um, this is your forum not mine If your father does cut your tuition, best of luck finding alternate funding...do you not qualify for independent funding as the child of a veteran/serving service man?
I wish I knew the right thing to say. I want to say I'm so sorry for you, but I would think you don't want people to have a "pity party" here. But I am really sorry for these conditions, nobody should have to live a life like that. I am an alli of the LGBT community in my school district. If you ever need anyone to talk to for whatever comfort, I'm always here to listen. I will try to give my best advice, but I have never experienced this situation before. But as a fellow alli, I would more than gladly be here as a friend if you need one.
Also I don't know anything about Austin but you might want to consider getting out of Texas as soon as you're able. New York, Boston, and San Francisco are all nice LGBT-friendly cities.
You could possibly look into a college transfer after spending a year or two at your school in Austin on his GI Bill. There's a good chance he'll revoke it and you'll have to start taking out student loans, but loans for 2-3 years of college is better than loans for 4 years of college.
My God. If you need to talk to anyone, you've got me alright? I suggest you contact an abuse hotline immediately, or the police, or go to the hospital and report your father. He clearly has a mental disorder, and no control over his temper. He may not even realize what he's doing when he does it, it can get seriously dangerous for you and your family. Please, please try contacting someone again. Which country do you live in?
There might be a potentially useful thread someone made on the forum called 'Useful helplines and resources' [link] You might find something there for you to contact someone, it lists hotlines and the like. Its worth a look if you haven't found anything yet. Good luck!
I hope situations get better for you, as people have previously recommend, next incident that leaves a mark, go to the police and they will take care of the rest. You don't deserve to be treated like that. I wish you all the best.
I'm sorry to say this, but your dad is an asshole. Whether or not the service made him what he is, the fact remains that he is a fucking asshole. He responds to problems with anger, which will only cause problems for him in life. You say that he is conservative christian, well what ever happened to "Respect thy neighbor"? He is sinning himself for his treatment of you.
That's another thing, why does "HE" get the priveledge of sitting with his back to the wall during dinner? I understand what he means by having the protection of a wall against one's back, that it eliminates the possibility of being attacked from behind. Using this logic though, why does he get to sit with his back to the wall, when YOU, his children, sit out in the open? You would think, that him knowing the extra protection the wall provides, would suggest YOU to sit with your back to the wall FIRST. Since you are his kids, YOU should have the best of protection FIRST. Again, what an asshole.
Back to religion, what also happened to "Thou shalt not kill" or "Thall shall not covet thy neighbor's possessions". He is breaking those commandments, by killing on orders of the USAF, or by coveting what he believes to be a "normal family" and rejecting you for your sexuality. What a real piece of work.
I'd advise you to give him the middle finger and then get out. Get as far away from that asshole as possible, because he just won't understand you. His beliefs are more important to him. As soon as you can, get out, but if that is not possible, buy a tape recorder and carry it with you at all times. The next time he acts up, record him and then bring it to a police station or somewhere else that can help. He seems to think that he can act without consequence, he is severly mistaken in that respect. I did the tape recorder thing with my own mother when she was out of control, showing up uninvited at my job and flicking her cigarette ash on my boss's desk as if she owned it. She learned very quickly her place in the world and the boundries she is expected to abide by in respect to other people.
Well, make sure you have a place to stay first before you take action against your father. From the way you described him, he would kick you out of the house without a second thought, if only to be spiteful to you because he knows he can. When he has no power or influence over you, no strings with which to cut or pull, that is when you can go all fuckin' out on him.
Perhaps you should get the recorder as soon as possible, and make recordings whenever something happens. Save up all these recordings until you can move out, and then bring them to the police. Your dad will have no control over the distribution of these recordings and the (deserved) investigation of his character. Perhaps you may even want to hire a lawyer, to see if the lawyer can advise if you are able to sue your father for neglectful treatment.
One last thing - think of your recorder like a credit card, you don't leave home without it. Or to put it in another way, always keep it with you. Having physical proof of him being an asshole to you will go a long way in supporting your case against him to the police. Just make sure he doesn't know he is being recorded until a case is requested, otherwise he may try to take the recorder away from you, or worse.