Worried About my Sister..

*monicagrace27 Feb 1, 2013 Student Traditional Artist

Well... I guess I really dont know who to go to about this. My sister is 19 and she is dating a 34 year old man. They have been together for nearly a year. From the outside, their relationship seems very rocky, yet she claims it is good for the most part. Yet, I get a call nearly once a week from her when she is upset with him or arguing with him. Usually it is him telling her that if she does a certain thing, then he will do something back 10x worse. He seems controlling and manipulative and I dont know what to do.. I asked recently if he was abusive and she denied it, but I not so sure... I just dont know how to help her. Any advice? I'm sorry for the long message.

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Devious Comments

=puppy-dangerous Feb 2, 2013 Professional General Artist

Unfortunately, you can't make somebody see something they don't want to.

You should probably make your concern known, but you can't force her to do anything.

=XPaintTheStarsX Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Old saying that opposites attract. This could be one of them!
Completely different people that will end up working fine.
Keep close though. She might need you when you least expect it.

~Solum-Ipsum Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Dunno. But here's a song that came to mind about this: [link]

~nonecansee Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist

It's hard when you want to look out for your siblings and they're, well, being siblings.

Just always be there for her and be understanding. Whenever she has a realization, you'll be ready to help out (and be careful not to say "I told you so").

~lightning-13 Feb 2, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

it's very popular these days that younger date older. I think that she actually tries to tell you that obviously there is a problem, but she doesn't want any criticism so when you suspect something, she takes a step back, denies everything. OR, it could be just that she wants someone to listen to her complaints every time they fight or disagree or whatever, and you are her sister. Have you tried speaking to her? calmly, without any criticism, so she understands that you are on her side.

*DanceAndMakeRomance Feb 1, 2013

I empathize with your concern but as previously stated, she is an adult. You can only do so much.

^neurotype Feb 1, 2013 Hobbyist General Artist

Talk to someone who's got closer access to her and whom you trust?

~Allura-Darkelf Feb 1, 2013 Student General Artist

Well, technically she is an adult, and can make her own decisions, but have you told your parents about your suspicions? She may be too terrified to admit that he's abusing her, or may even be blaming herself for it. Unfortunately, most police departments won't respond based on suspicion alone. Usually, there has to be physical evidence, otherwise it's he said/she said, and the complaint usually has to come from the victim. I'm not sure about some departments, but this is a general protocol. You could try calling you're local women's shelter to see what they recommend.

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