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February 1, 2013
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Feeling worthless

:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Has anyone ever felt like you were a complete waste to everyone you love? Have you ever felt like no one would care about you even AFTER you died? Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you tried, you will never be accepted in society? That's how I feel often. I feel like a worthless pile of crap and does not deserve the concern of others. I need help to understand that I am a good person. My art sucks, my writing sucks, my entire BEING sucks and has no reason to exist.
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:iconnightshade255:
Nightshade255 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I would like to actually start a conversation about this with you, so please give me more than one word responses, like many people seem to do on these forums :P

My question is this, do you have any plans for the future?
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
Yes I do. My career idea is to become a video game designer since I have a vast imagination and plenty of ideas and living in New Jersey with a loving and beautiful wife and daughter.
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:iconnightshade255:
Nightshade255 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Aight. Then work at it. Video game design is a difficult as fuck position to attain. But if it is your goal, then you have to dedicate your all to it. Youre only worthless if you never do anything with your life. And you will never do anything unless you try. So work at it, for hours a day, and push through, until you are damn good at what you want to be. Then try and tell yourself that you are useless.

Stop living in a depressed dream world and do something about it. Start now.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
I plan to.
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:iconnightshade255:
Nightshade255 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dont plan to. Do it.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013
I will
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
well you feel this way becase you have convensed yoour self and every one eles of this i was just like you but a lot deeper i found that nothing truly matters in the end and almost killed my self but i hade a thought pop in to my head befor i did that thought saved my life

if nothing matters than killing my self wont ether but if i kill my self its over bang done game over so the thought i hade is win i am playing a vido game i know but it saved my life iny way when i am all most dead i go all out and start throwing granades and just go nuts un louding thats one of the funist things about the game so why the hell dont i unload on life live befor i go out it wont matter in the end but i will have alot of fun geting there so i desided that i will live life to the fullist do what i want to do and just have fun with it all

befor depersion birth - 1st grade i was super smart full of life geat thinker and person full of dreams hobbies

during depersion 1st - the past month i was week and peathatic a shit hole of a person no hobbies no hopes dreams wwants in life nothing not to fat but unhealth and just dint care

now i am slim trim healthy i jog work out play gutair have good grades at tech and school i am a better artist i have takein up archery and much more i fell good i still know that it wont matter in the end but i dont care iny more becase i am happy now and all of asudint i no longer want to die i want to live and i am liveing to the fullist

what you need to do is find hobbies that you can do and in joy you like drawing ok draw more it does not matter wether your iny good or not as long as you in joy it

and rethink your life and your self stop careing what others think and figer out how you want to be and go for it

think of life like a crossbow if you know what that is it is a bow thats hard to draw back but ones yyou get it back it stays there with little efeart win you draw back a cross bow it is hard to do draw back this is were most people live life where you cant shot the arow or do iny thing but if you try hard anuff you get it all the way back and it stays there with allmost no power need and if you can get there thats win you fell truly good and happy this is the point you that you can shot the arow and hit your target i am now a drawin crossbow you are not i am going to hit my target what are you going to do

wright down things you want out of life in a jurnal or something like that and strive for it tell your self that you are a person and and people can do inthing as long as the belive then you need to belive in your self tell your self that you love your self and then belive it till you realy do trust me if you try hard anuff you will get there it may take severl times and fail a lot but once you get there it will all e worth it

i have a group i just opened i am trying to get the word out this group is to help thoes with life problems

this group is open to those looking for help and those seeking to help others

ps i rely dont know how to use the group stuff i am looking for someone to help me with the group so i can help others help there selfs [link]
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Thank you
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
your wellcome

if you like you can join my group i just made it and there are no mebers yet but i would like you to be the first
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I remembered making a weapon design on my page that represents my depression, I made four weapons that represent my personality, you can check them out on my page if you want (I wouldn't be surprised if you refuse)



How does it look?
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
good

i will check them out
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I'm sure you might like them. I have a very comforting and motherly therapist and half-sister who care about me deeply.
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
well thats good

it helps to have others as long as they truly care
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
They do
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(1 Reply)
:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Really? That is so nice of you, no one usually invites me to join groups like this. You are a very kind person.
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:iconsandmanfallingout:
sandmanfallingout Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
well i want to help i will send you a invit
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Thank you so much.
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:iconunclegargy:
UncleGargy Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sometimes the best way to get yourself out of the 'pit' is to help another person out of it. Volunteer to help others in need. Someone else out there needs help..Your help!
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Thank you.
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:iconzero587:
Zero587 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Theres no reason to even think of this. Your just pushing yourself way to hard here. Try not to over think things like this.
Thats when things always go sour.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Thank you
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:iconzero587:
Zero587 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
No problem. Just remember, that theres always something to look forward to in your life. And whatever that may be im sure youll find it. Just never stop looking. Ive seen best friend of mine almost killed himself after losing his girlfriend over someone else....some people can handle the pressure, and some can not... theres no way in hell i can change a persons mind if they want to kill then self because that is something they choose. But being able to at least do my best to talk to the person in question is THE best i could try to do.
Lucky though he wont kill him self because i was always there for him when he needed to talk. Ya see we go way back. 7 years in fact in that regard. And i just hate to see a good friend waste his life over something soo completly pointless. Its just a part of life. It dosent happen for a reason when we dont ever know the reason. Thats just a made up lie by people who cant face the truth in life so they create their own half truths in order to cope with it. Things happen in life, we move on, and end of story. Now that....is the part that we all must deal with at one point or another. Theres no running away from something like that ever. Death, break ups, etc. But just remember that the only person that you can truly count on is your self. I dont know you...but take these words as words of wisdom, and think about what i said. If you do that, then i know you will do fine in life. ;)
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I try to.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
No one else can help you get over this.

The only person who can convince you, long term, that you are cool is you.

Now, there are some actions that you can take than can help you feel good and worthwile, and that is helping others. This can be small stuff, like joining a team that cleans up a portion of the highway, or big stuff, like volunteering at a soup kitchen. Or even around the house, start making dinner once a week.

You could choose one thing you would like to be better at, say art (as a random example) and then take your art, take several pieces and decide what is the most important thing to improve, I am going to choose hands here, as many people have problems with hands, and spend some time every day for a month drawing hands. Don't give up drawing for fun, but give yourself 1/2 an hour every day to work on hands for a month. You will see improvement.

But doing things for people outside yourself, can help you feel better about you. However, you have to internalize that YOU are good, and these things will be short term boosts if you do not internalize it.

And as for a reason to exist, the only people who have one, are those who created one. We are not born with reasons to exist.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Thank you
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Have you been diagnosed with clinical depression by any psychiatrists or doctors?
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Not clinical depression, just depression. I have a very comforting and motherly therapist I talk to in school
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Is there anything that you enjoy doing?
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Writing, hanging out with my friends, playing video games, drawing anime...yeah I can say that
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Well, why don't you try doing those things more often?
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I do
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
Then why do you feel so worthless?
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I just feel that I am not worth caring about.
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(1 Reply)
:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Writer
I understand how you feel, honestly.

Really, the best way for me was accepting the fact that I know who I am (and using that to my advantage - being able to get rid of a problem sometimes).

Try this - write down everything, then write good and bad things about yourself, then think "why am I worthless? What makes me think this way?" Once you figure out that answer try to fix whatever is making you feel that way. And focus on the good things about yourself and make them better and try to improve on the bad if you wish to. But don't pay too much attention to the bad, you'll just go back to being upset.

There is always someone, at least ONE person, that loves you and wishes for your well-being. I know it's hard to see that and understand it, but it's 100% true.
You are worthy and thinking so little of yourself won't solve anything.

Tell yourself daily, while looking in the mirror, all the good things about you and that you like yourself (even if you don't like yourself). Do that until you feel better and then tell yourself that you love yourself.

Get active - participate more in school (if you're still in school), get active in your comminuty, hang out with friends more. (Having a best friend can really help you through tough times such as this.)
Have fun - treat yourself to things you like whenever you have free time.

If you ever start thinking negatively again ask yourself, "do I really deserve this? Why do I deserve this?"


I hope I helped.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
You did, you have given very helpful advice
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Writer
Thank you! I hope it actually does help. :nod:
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
probably, probably not...I've dealt with this plenty of times, so many times that it flat-out just stopped bothering me. At one point, I accepted the fact that I just was worthless and a burden to everyone I love. I've thought of commiting suicide a couple times, but was talked out of it.
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Writer
I understand, really, and I hope one day you won't think so negatively like that. It's not the best thing to do, but it is rather reasonable to feel worthless from time to time. (especially during adolescence...so I've noticed)

It could be a long or short process (depending on what type of person you are), but if you start feeling suicidal again I highly recommend seeing a therapist.
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:iconshadowangel121:
ShadowAngel121 Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013
Good point, at least I know I have people who care about me.
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013   Writer
It's always good to know that you have people that care about you. That's one of the first things that can help you feel better.
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