Why is my friend pushing me away??
Recently I’ve been texting this guy I knew from high school who is really shy, but has a great personality and is really funny. I didn’t know him well back in high school, he was my ex-boyfriend’s (who I am on friendly terms with) friend. Since college, I’ve started to gradually become friends with him by talking to him through texts and hanging out with mutual friends when we can (he lives 3 hours away from me). However, lately he takes a very long time to respond to texts or simply doesn’t respond at all. My friend assures me that he is probably just busy, but I feel like he somehow is now uninterested in a friendship. You might be asking yourself “Ok so what. You lost a semi-friend, big deal.” But, I think through our conversations and hanging out I have developed a crush on him. What should I do? Does his aloofness mean he is now uninterested and doesn’t even want a friendship?
I realize with the lack of information this is hard to answer, but I really don't know what to do. Should I just let the friendship we had just fade away?
I realize with the lack of information this is hard to answer, but I really don't know what to do. Should I just let the friendship we had just fade away?
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just talk to him... be honest.
if you dont ask, you dont know... at least you know where you stand!
he might be busy, he might not be interested in you, he might be playing hard to get... it could be a number of things... just ask!
if you dont ask, you dont know... at least you know where you stand!
he might be busy, he might not be interested in you, he might be playing hard to get... it could be a number of things... just ask!
well, there are people who gets shy and try to distance themselves to the person when they knew that person like him/her. Like me 
I cannot say that he is like that but, we don't know. I agree on
's opinion.
I cannot say that he is like that but, we don't know. I agree on
's opinion.
An idea for texting:
"You seem to be distant with me lately. Is everything alright? Am I burdening you?"
"You seem to be distant with me lately. Is everything alright? Am I burdening you?"
I think that's a good idea, but my only worry is that I'll come off as being needy or overbearing. I don't want him to feel like I'm pressuring him to give me attention.
Well, maybe he feels that you already are! That's what you want to find out, right? You can even add that you honestly don't want to be like that with him, and that's why you're asking, willing to step aside a bit in case he needs a little space to breathe. 
These kind of relationships in my experience can be very delicate and touchy circumstances.
I think the reason is that one person's crush makes them act different, and then the other person will act different based on that, and then on top of natural changes there are the changes in behavior each person makes on purpose.
Anyways if you want to be his friend I think you should just be patient. Your needy feeling is there because you have a crush, like you said. He either doesn't understand this or he is uncomfortable with the way you are acting.
I think the reason is that one person's crush makes them act different, and then the other person will act different based on that, and then on top of natural changes there are the changes in behavior each person makes on purpose.
Anyways if you want to be his friend I think you should just be patient. Your needy feeling is there because you have a crush, like you said. He either doesn't understand this or he is uncomfortable with the way you are acting.
I hope it's not the way I'm acting. I'd hate to seem needy and annoying to him. I don't know, the last time I texted him (which was a few days ago) he didn't text me back. I've made sure not to text him since then and just wait to see if he will text me back (so I won’t seem annoying), but it's killing me. I feel like one moment we're close, then the next he's incredibly distant.
Did you ever give him a hint that you had a crush on him? Perhaps he feels awkward if you did. But if you didn't then maybe he really is just busy. And if he doesn't want friendship, then he is a fool.
I don't think I have, at least not on purpose. I'd hate that to be the case though. I'm not sure why I've developed this big crush on him, but I really love his friendship too. It would be kind of hurtful if he didn't want to be friends on me based on a suspicion that I like him.
Why not be straightforward
I'm worried that by being straightforward I'll scare him away and make a fool of myself, to be honest. This sounds so melodramatic, but I’ve always thought he was way too out of my league, so I don’t even think there’s a remote chance that he would like me back.
well why not give a chance?
But I feel like there's such a huge chance of being rejected. That he'll just think I'm weird for even suggesting something like that.
so? who cares! Woman up and take a chance.
Why is he shy? Has he gone through depression before? One of my friends has gone through a similar instance (just from the guys perspective.) He liked the girl, but blew her off because the thought of her started hurting him. Though yours could still be anything. So only way to know it to ask. My friend is just emotionally repressed.
Anyways, if you are thinking of just letting the friendship just fade away then I have a suggestion. Just let him know you like him. Even just a text that says "Hey, I think I like you." Worst case scenario is your friendship fades away. I'm sorry about this situation. It's always a tough one to deal with.
Anyways, if you are thinking of just letting the friendship just fade away then I have a suggestion. Just let him know you like him. Even just a text that says "Hey, I think I like you." Worst case scenario is your friendship fades away. I'm sorry about this situation. It's always a tough one to deal with.
Yeah, I don't know. I think I'm too afraid of being rejected that I couldn't bring myself to confess my feelings to him. However, I'm also afraid that I'll waste time crushing on someone who will never like me back (even as a friend). It's confusing. I'd also hate to scare him away because I do enjoy hanging out with and talking to him.
Despite the delay, are his texts short all of a sudden or like they were before? It's quite possible he's super busy.
When he does respond they're longer texts. But I think the problem is that lately I'll text him and it will take him days to respond. I'm worried that I'm turning into more of a bother and less of a friend to him. For instance I texted him a simple 'Hey, what's up?' a couple days ago and he hasn't gotten back to me. I don't want to be THAT friend and be annoying and text him again, but I also just want to talk to him without being blown off.
Might be looking too much into it. He could be having a lot going on and sometimes I take a day or two to respond.
If I were you I'd call him and set up some hang out time.
If I were you I'd call him and set up some hang out time.
Ok I'll see if I can work something out. Thanks!
Good luck!