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January 31, 2013
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Dating a Borderline Personality Disorder

:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have one. I just wanna know how to control it. I can't understand the feeling like ur so angry. then becaming so calm and love again and its like my love feeling cycle around?

have u guys? I want to see others experience about dating a BPD :( my heart can't be stable.
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:iconwallachianbard:
WallachianBard Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Maybe if you could practice a sport...or at least workout!I've felt myself the effects of a bit of workout. Yeah some pushups,some dips,even attempting to do so as long as it makes you feel better.Maybe some dancing?
Consider trying some Meditating,maybe some basic TaiChi or QiCong.
Other things that really help are motivational songs/videos -
I've got an idea!Check "COURAGE WOLF" He's one of the best coaches ever I'm not kidding.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I have tried it all. first, I have tried Karate. Shotokan Karate, after I get promoted for green belt. I quit because I feel like I want to try another this, second is I tried driving lesson. after learning and have a car. I also lost interest so I tried being a DJ. then band vocalist. u know, the more it takes for different taste, the more it.. I can't understand. having a BPD, ur like everything u want. u will try and if u already have it. u just wanted to quit tried another one. I have tried gyming, but still. I give up,

I am also video editing but nothing happens. all doesn't work, but yea... because I have interest of drawing or sketching, it kinda makes me forget my negative dark side. -___-
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:iconwallachianbard:
WallachianBard Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
But that's amazing!Think of it this way : Tried two types of karate?Learned to drive,had the chance to be a dj and a band vocalist?You've got a car?The oportunity to even try such things would be an honor for me!Heck i can't even get common household materials for crafts,can't raise my voice in the house else everyone will complain.Not to mention i could never afford driving lessons let alone a car.I mean think of this : Not what you failed but what you succeeded.Not what you can't do but what you could do so far.The fact that you have a "wandering mind" is something not uncommon,especially for artists.I mean it makes you curious,allows you to try so many different things.
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Therapy, medication and learning how to manage the symptoms.
ever see the movie "Good Will Hunting?" The main character Will, played by Matt Damn has BPD.
watch it if you haven't seen it. You might learn something from it.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I may download it :3
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
*damon. god damn, I got damn on the brain tonight.
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:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Composure can and should be developed. Trying to be conscious about your feelings is the first step to stop them from tossing you around. When you notice that you're being too moody (in either way), remember that emotions are like your eyesight, hearing or any other of your senses: you wouldn't let yourself be fooled by any of these, right? You have to be skeptical about how you feel, and treat it as a mere signal. The source of the sensation is not always what induces it: like the world in the mirror is a mere reflection, maybe your anger toward someone or something is also one of your own disabilities you aren't satisfied with, and which you need to also work on in order to correct it.

Like the cashier didn't give back the change properly, and you only noticed it at home; you would be angry at the cashier, when you also didn't count the amount properly.

I don't say this is an easy thing to do. It takes a LOT of time. I've been on a conquest to reclaim myself for about seven years now, and I had a lot of hardships. If you find a role model – I suggest imagining something way cooler than any human being – then you can look at that, and try to become like it. At least, this worked wonders for me! :D
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
wow. its like u really know my feelings. yea, my feelings is really too moody because I am listening to this very wierd, I am not schizo but too many bubbles of negative shit running through my brain that I am so sensitive of it thats why I really have to burst of the anger. but yeah, running away from those stupid things in mind. how easily can I be skeptical. cause sometimes I can control it and be skeptical of a sudden but sometimes I cant so I just fight the shit out of him. I need big answer on how to be skeptical.

right now, I usually get into the internet to be skeptical but guess what. because of skipping to that. I also fall in love with a one internet guy. -___- and shit happens more for me :cry:

I am praising anime series for now. lol, as my role model. I don't know. I'm crazy, LMAO! :D
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:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Practice makes perfect! ;) And remember that all errors made are lessons in life for the future. No need to get overly dramatic. You seem to like Naruto, there might be some cool role models there, I'd personally go with someone like Kakashi or Tsunade, but it's more up to you to decide. I'd avoid to identify myself with overly negative characters like Orochimaru, though. You can also say that "Okay, so this character has some good traits, but that other one doesn't have this or that flaw, so I'll combine them". :D
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah.. ;p
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:iconzetikla:
Zetikla Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Student Photographer
personally I think i have emotional unstability, its not better though :/ I know the feeling
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
like what :(
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:iconnyanko-dono:
nyanko-dono Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well, I have BPD, I'm unmedicated, and I'm engaged! I did see a therapist for 2 years who was extremely helpful in learning what my triggers were, how to identify my shift in moods, and how to cope with them. When I'm having an "episode" I tell my fiance that I'm being grumpy, and what I need him to do: Giving me space, hugging me, sometimes he even cooks me something lol.

Point is, yeah BPD is annoying, is stressful for all parties involved, but t's not impossible. Communication is so huge, I can't even begin to stress that. Just talk to the person. Ask them proactive question first, like "What can I do for you right now?" Or ask more specific things you can do like "Do you need space?" or "Do you want to do (whatever)?" and the like. Just let them know you're there. Hugest thing with BPD is a chronic fear of rejection, whether it's real or perceived. And rejection. So yeah. Stay calm and keep communicating. It's totally doable :3
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know how it feels. like u wanted to be a princess or basically, like a baby that ur bf will starting to take care of u all the time. give u too much attention. I am also giving my best, cause I am worried that he is hating me inside. u know the feeling. but my ex was kinda bit. too busy in job that makes me think something stupid again. u know that feeling like some bad stories about ur love is being created in ur brain that u wanna real fight him because u think he neglects u even tho its not because he is doing the rest for u and him.

once a hug, a kiss or a love trick. it turns me on so much :D. thats why, my babe says taking care of a BPD is like taking care of a new born baby that u know were to feed and shit. once u neglect, it will cry harder. but thats life, its still end up broken up into pieces.
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
First off, if you are experiencing something that is making it harder to live your everyday life, you need to visit a doctor.

After that:

Find someone everybody likes/can deal with?

I mean, do you have the issue that one/part of you is happy and the other part can't stand him? That's not good.

I dunno, my husband just manages to deal with it somehow. As do my close friends. It's apparently just 'Eh, whatever.' Maybe more of 'That there is crazyperson *dismiss*'

I know, I'm not much help. I wouldn't mind discussing this farther, but I'd rather not do it out here in public.
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:iconkemcar:
kemcar Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
All I would say it get hold of the situation before its too late. I understand your partner is good enough to be caring now, but relationships are never the same always. Good luck ahead.
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
See a professional who knows how to do dialectical behavior therapy. That is how you control BPD.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
There is a terrific book you should read: [link]

Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

This is also good for people who suffer from and are looking to better understand themselves.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thanks, I may read that later
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013
Good luck
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
btw you CAN'T control their BPD, only they can. You can be patient and calm and try not hold the hurtful things said against you when they are angry, but its not up to you to control it.
BTW...if they ask you questions base on paranoia, DO NOT feed their fears.
example: I think I'm gaining weight...gah I wish I looked like that girl...do you think shes hot?"
Its a way to get validation sometimes but nothing you say, honest or not will end the slew of paranoid questions following it. so you cant win.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
but sometimes I can't control it. its like I want to shove it to his face that, ur lucky enough me have loved u and u can't find any other girl sweeter than me. thats how I feel. lol, I know I'm crazy but whatever :p

sometimes I'm so angry and sometimes so happy. like I'm high. we break up, then we make up. I dump him, I take him back. I look for other guy, I regret. I crawl to her for apology but then, I'm irritated that fast. like his love is getting empty or something. what I hate is when they are crying. but ugh! whatever, I'm just a bad person or something.
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah, you need serious therapy and possibly medication or else your going to fuck up your relationship. One day, he WONT take you back.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
late back then. my babe is the one who is talking to the therapist but it still doesnt work
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I HAVE BPD.
You need to have THICK skin and honestly, it wont work unless your partner gets the help they need.
I have BPD pretty bad too.
They will push you away and hate you one day and love you like the greatest thing since sliced bread the next.

I do it to my bf without meaning it.
When I'm hurt I want him to hurt.
They target people they are closest too, including friends, bf's, gf's and family. It can be a nightmare, but if she isn't willing to go see someone for help I would FORGET about this relationship.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Level what? :(
and yea, I know. they need pyschiatrist or something. but I don't really need that. seriously. my BPD is not that harshed or I don't know. thats why I am asking what level. those hardcore BPD one was does level 5 BPD?

ur a bisexual? am I correct. cause I am straight. its just that, my feelings is soo unstable. I have hurt many people I love including my BF. its just that, at the end. I realize I hurt him so I say sorry to him then. ;'(
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have never seen BPD put into levels, I just know its a huge part of what I am and how I act, etc...its made me who I am good and bad...without help, good luck.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
all personality disease has it's level. level 1 to 9 or 5. the highest BPD level gets into something like suicidal attempt or taking too much alcohol or drugs. ;3

for me, in middle level since I still can control mine. but it still a BPD, sometimes its really uncontrolable. :)

thats why I am leaning on to the other opinions.
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:iconjessicaann87:
JessicaAnn87 Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
levels? the therapists Ive been to never told me there were levels.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
ask ur therapist babe. :3
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