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January 24, 2013
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Why do I always fall to pieces?

:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
I swear that everytime something comes along and knocks me that is it. This time it is in the form of my biology exam on Tuesday. I went into it with the attitude 'hell I know Biology, I can do this' before crying during the exam, and crying for 5 hours after the exam because the exam was horribly difficult. Then today I had a Chemistry exam. I came out of it happy, until people asked me what I wrote and then pointed out nearly everything was incorrect. So then I spent more time crying. Then in my Business Studies class today every member of the class (and I mean not one stuck up for me, or didn't laugh or join in, and there are 30 of us) made it their aim to upset me as much as possible. So now I should be sat revising physics for an exam tomorrow, but instead I am too messed up, upset and angry to do anything. Does anybody else find it really really difficult to deal with things other people say are 'stupid?' and if so, how on Earth DO you cope?

Note: Please don't say 'ignore the bullies they will get bored' I have ignored them for 6 months and they still continue every single lesson 5 times a week to reduce me to tears. Also suggesting I argue back or punch them isn't going to happen as the minute I say something mean I feel like a horrible person and worry about it for days, and I really am not a fighter. -They don't even have good reasons to tease me, no-body else before this year has had problems with me, and I haven't done anything bad to them-
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013   Digital Artist
See I don't have that problem. I don't study ever and show up for finals totally wasted, so much so once a professor took my final and said "so at least you got points for attendance" like a sarcastic bitch. So I told her to fuck herself and throw it in the trash myself. Any points I get is better than I expected. So I'm always happy with the outcome. I'm also almost always drunk, so that could be why I'm happy too...
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:iconlilerilala2:
Lilerilala2 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Don't worry, I know how bad that feels. I'm not going to trick you and tell you the overused "everything's gonna be okay." For me, I think the only thing you can do right now is let go of the past tests and opt to do much better on the upcoming ones. :) As for the bullies, I suggest you calmly tell them to leave you alone. If that doesn't work, then I really am afraid you have no choice but to endure them. However, don't let them see you breaking down because that's exactly what they want you to do. Don't let them win. Just be strong. :)

:hug:
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
Honestly it's probably not about any exam in particular or your classmate's behavior. I cried the other day because a teacher said that we all had to drop things off at her mailbox (this is a BIG campus and I get lost easily), so I did the assignment then and there and tried to hand it to her after class -she wouldn't accept it!! Said 'take it to my mailbox,' in front of all my classmates. I was humiliated and angry/sad for most of the rest of the day (and cried! lol).

But, like I said... it wasn't really about that incident. It's just that school feels REALLY HARD for me right now, and I feel out of control, and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. But that's not true - there are things I can do (and should do!) I'm guessing it's the same for you. Try to identify what's really bothering you (you probably feel like you're getting behind in your studies and don't know how to prepare for tests) - and try to fix THAT. Just THAT. And just for the next exam - don't bite off too much.

And remember to love yourself, because at the end of the day you're worth it, and you're awesome, and you have to love yourself to get through hard stuff like this. Best of luck :)
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:iconatlantech:
Atlantech Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
because you allow yourself to. Instead of falling to pieces, take a step back and think about the situation. Allow yourself to calm down before thinking of how to cope with it. You can't think rationally if you're upset. As for bullies, stop giving a shit about what they think. Stop giving into them because that is what keeps them going. They know they can upset you, therefore you make yourself an easy target. Tell them to fuck off, that you don't give two shits about them or what they say.

Stand up for yourself, be strong and show them you're better than they think. That's what it all boils down to in the end.
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:iconsignsofortune:
signsofortune Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Here's what you can do. Pick out one or two classmates. Single them out to talk to them when free talking is allowed. Start imitating their mode of speech. You don't have to say mean things, but what you say, say it how they are saying it. Continually talk to them when there is free time. The rest of the wolf pack will think that you are one of the wolves and they won't victimize you as much.
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
I'm going to assume that you're in high school. Have you talked to a guidance counselor about this? And as for your exam tonight, just don't stress out too much. Stressing out a lot will actually damage you and it isn't healthy. You should probably relax and calm down before you start a study session for that next exam.
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:iconebolabearvomit:
EbolaBearVomit Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
"Then in my Business Studies class today every member of the class (and I mean not one stuck up for me, or didn't laugh or join in, and there are 30 of us) made it their aim to upset me as much as possible. So now I should be sat revising physics for an exam tomorrow, but instead I am too messed up, upset and angry to do anything. "

They do it because they know you're too easy to play with.

If you stopped worrying about bullshit it wouldn't be happening.
For your classes, study more, use flash cards, get tutors, do something, you can control that, just like how you can control your impulses and emotions.
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
I KNOW I don't have a backbone, I'm the first to leap to somebody elses defence, but I just sit there with a raised eyebrow when people say shit to me, then make it home before I cry like I want to there and then. The teacher is about as much use as a sack of potatoes and just raises his eyebrow when he overhears the stuff that is being said to me. But I know the worst thing I can do is argue back, because I feel bad, they just get worse, and then they start on my little brother which I can't stand.
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:iconebolabearvomit:
EbolaBearVomit Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013
Just ignore'em. When you don't feed the trolls they eventually get bored.

Become a ninja and visit them all at night, one by one....
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:icongemdrop:
Gemdrop Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Relax. That's pretty much all the advice I can give. After you stop giving a crap, it will be much easier.
The way I think in difficult situations is: "Will this turn the world upside down?" if not, then I don't stress about it.
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
Well you know, if I mess up physics toooo badly it might :XD:
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:iconninebark:
ninebark Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It sounds like the problem has (at the very least) two dimensions.

On the one hand, you feel prepared for exams, but then loose confidence once you're actually faced with them and/or discover yourself under-prepared. (Your post wasn't clear - do you end up doing badly on the exams, or is it all in your head?)

On the other hand, you are stressed out by other people's comments.

I would focus on the first issue. If you achieve a place where you are more calm and confident in your exam responses, you will probably not respond as strongly to other people's comments about the test and feel better about how you did. It may be a question of studying better (or differently!), of getting time with the teachers for extra help, of trying practice tests under a time-crunch, or getting together with a study group of people from the same class to work through the studying together.

That, and on doing all the practical, small things to lower your tendency to get stressed (ie, eat enough, sleep enough, go outside time to time, get some healthy exercise, etc).
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
The Biology exam fell to pieces as one question came up that I could not answer to save my life, and then as it was so early on it got me flustered so all the rest of the exam went horribly wrong. The one today I wish I hadn't asked the two cleverest girls in my class what they got because I now know I have got the most of it incorrect. It's just I don't see why I care so much when they are not subjects I need to my future education. It just annoys me that I do care so much, and that I am falling to pieces over something that has no real negative effect on me, other than my grades may be lower than I hoped. *sigh* I'm just used to always being top of the class, and knowing I have done so badly doesn't sit well with me at all.

I thought I'd conquered the stress, I used to work myself up for days before the exam, then realised it wasn't really worth it. It's just once something confuses me in an exam, that is it, I may as well give up even trying.

I just don't understand WHY I get so upset over it. I know it's not important, that I can't change it, yet still everytime someone mentions the exams at school I end up crying about them D:
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:iconninebark:
ninebark Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
One coping mechanism is that once you read a question, evaluate on a scale of 1-10 on whether you know off the top of your head how to answer it, with 10 being "Piece of cake."

If it's a 6 or 7, answer it. If it's under 5, skip it and go back to it once you're done with all the questions you know. Leave the problem questions to the last, so you don't end up losing out on the answers you do know.

For the issue of caring vs not caring, well, that's a question only you can answer, but if you're gonna prep for the exam anyway, why not care?
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
I do that anyway, but I still end up messing it up. Luckily my maths english psychology and business exams are not too bad, but science...

It's easier not to care on the basis that it makes results day easier to bare when I do not get my A* :')
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:iconninebark:
ninebark Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So why do you end up messing it up? I think you need to figure that out. Do you just not know the material? Are the teachers viciously sabotaging you? Do you need extra help and don't want to put yourself out there to get it? Are you struggling with juggling other, competing tasks? Are you spending 40 hours a week online? Etc.
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
But I know the stuff before I go in, I know I do, I revise an hour before the exam to make sure I haven't missed anything out, then I sit in the exam hall and my brain just shuts down and refuses to co-operate.
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:iconninebark:
ninebark Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Do you do practice tests?
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:iconifonlyitwereeasy:
IfOnlyItWereEasy Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Student Photographer
Only about 50 of them per subject D: But they are never done in the hall, and I don't worry about practice tests as I sit them in the knowledge that if I mess up it's not that big a deal.
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