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January 23, 2013


Replies: 195

Long Distant Reltionships

Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student General Artist
Er, not sure how to put this.
But, I was in a long distance reltionship before, not that all of them consist of them, I've dated people around my way I just have some experience in it but anyway.

I just started to date this guy
and we have a couple of dates and then he moves about 2 hours away from me into another state.

It's not that far.
But, that's killer on gas.
and hard to always get over here

Any suggestions??? I know that for LD relationships to work, both parties have to at least try there best to stay communicated, but at this point he doesn't have a phone, and has to borrow someone elses phone, he doesn't have skype which I have, so it's getting a wee bit hard to reach him other then facebook and texting.
I want to hear his voice -w-.....I want to see his face, not just...text and facebook message. Does anybody get me here?

Anybody else in a LD?

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Devious Comments

Ealaincraft Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013   Digital Artist
As someone who's been in an LDR for over 4 years now, I can tell you that it's not easy.
Lack of phone obviously makes it harder and I'm fortunate to not have that problem, but I know what it's like to not be able to talk to them and see them every day.
My boyfriend lives like 6 hours away from me, 5 if there's no traffic, so it's rare we get to see each other.
I recommend maybe trying to see if he can get skype, I mean, it's free. And maybe you two can plan to see each other sometime soon? Maybe go on a little road trip with friends or something.
renstalker Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dare I ask - does he ever make the trip to visit you?

And if he missed you that much, would it kill him to get a skype account?
Riyuki-Silverfury Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Actually I am in a LD relationship. She's over 800 miles away and we have been going out for about...almost 4 years this coming October or November. We met in a game called Luna online in 2009 and have been best friends (online, not yet irl) ever since. We do talk everyday and use Skype to talk and webcam to each other. I actually stream movies for us in Skype and we have little dates like that. We talk about many things and have learned many things, but it still is hard because we would love to be physically close to each other, especially now that she is going through some very very tough and trying times... But one thing about her is that she loves art!--which is why I have an account here but don't actually have any real "deviations". I'm here to support her and her endeavors. If money wasn't an issue, I would visit her as she lives in Chicago and I live in South Carolina but...alas.. lol. :iconfluffycawwot: is her DA page.

You can do it! Because everyday you spend apart, the longing grows stronger and when you meet, it'll be the best day of your life! I'm looking forward to my meeting day with my love and am working hard towards it!
Riyuki-Silverfury Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Actually there is a website I frequent: [link]

It's run by a couple who have gone through the long distance trial and actually are going to get married pretty soon. It is a big community of people going through long distance relationship and I figure this will help you as much as it has helped me. The gift suggestions are also great there! We both have these silicon bands around our wrist with the words "Love knows no distance" on them.

As far as your situation though, do the best that you can on your part! But honestly...2 hours isn't very far. If I have no means of transportation, I would at LEAST try taking a bus or some sort of public transportation available if that was the case. For it to be so close, there is always a way for the willing! Best of luck!
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
If he's sticking you with all the expenses and trouble, he isn't giving you the respect necessary to be in a relationship with you.

Why doesn't he have a phone? If he's in a LDR and he cares about his partner, he either has at least a temporary prepaid phone or something, or he is currently making an effort to get a new permanent phone. No exceptions. If either of the latter statements is not correct, then the first statement is not correct: he is not in a LDR with someone he cares about.

Similarly, why doesn't he have Skype? Why is he not making that effort to communicate with you? It sounds to me like he doesn't miss you as much as you miss him.

I know right now you're seeing these things as "How do I overcome these obstacles in order to make my relationship work?" but you need to start seeing them as potential red flags. Why are there so many obstacles in the first place? If it's because he's putting them there or he's making no effort to help you remove them, that should be telling you something.
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
Story time!
So I'm in a non-committal, non-reciprocating "relationship" with a girl who lives three states away. Basically that means we're not actually dating and I'm the only one who actually believes it's a relationship, along with a few more issues. It's a fuckall-retarded mess, and I don't recommend it.
It didn't used to be like that, though; we were pretty much as close to being in a real relationship as you could be (she's uncomfortable with commitment). We talked to eachother almost every day and Skyped as often as possible.
I recently made plans to visit her, but she kinda shot them down and said that she was uncomfortable with seeing me at this point in her life, which I can understand; meeting someone you've never actually met in person can be stressful, so I'm willing to wait until she's ready.
At this point the "relationship" (I don't really even know what to call it) is a mess and I'm completely miserable, but I'm holding on in hopes that maybe she'll feel something for me again.
God, I sound pathetic. My sole advice? Don't be like me.
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
If you know what it is oxo; Why don't you just leave?
That's not how a reltionship to be???

There's some things you gotta let go...that doesn't really...sound good XD;;

Your not SUPPOSED to be miserable in a reltionship, oxo; it sounds like your going through anguish for no apparent reason. If someone likes you, they show you that they like you, it shouldn't be a one sided thing. I mean, if you want to WAIT, and see if she'll like you back??? I don't recommend that XD!..But it's ultimately up to you.

Yeah that doesn't sound very cool???

I didn't even know what those words means before you told me what they were, but somehow I knew, those weren't good words to be using in a reltionship.

Do you really LIKE this girl?? be MISERABLE AND WAIT for something that may or may not happen??
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Well, you may be right on most points; it isn't a good situation to be in. But I have never loved anyone as much as I love this girl. I'm willing to go through hell for her, and I'll likely have to before everything is said and done. I've lost too many people in life; I'm not going to lose her too.
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
That's really beautiful to love her so strongly. oxo; BUT I really hope you either don't get burned and become a very bad person. or You get really hurt.

Your IMPUTTING 100% of your heart into this, sometimes you have to draw that back or else you will be shattered.

So oxo; I can understand you lost people in your life, but sometimes people leave our lives for a lesson.

However with this.
IF THIS is what you TRUELY want to do.
I respect that and leave it as that.
I WISH you all the good luck in your life
You surely deserve much BETTER then this.
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Thank you for caring and advice. I really hope this ends up better than it is now.
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