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January 23, 2013
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Long Distant Reltionships

:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Student General Artist
Er, not sure how to put this.
But, I was in a long distance reltionship before, not that all of them consist of them, I've dated people around my way I just have some experience in it but anyway.

I just started to date this guy
and we have a couple of dates and then he moves about 2 hours away from me into another state.

It's not that far.
But, that's killer on gas.
and hard to always get over here

Any suggestions??? I know that for LD relationships to work, both parties have to at least try there best to stay communicated, but at this point he doesn't have a phone, and has to borrow someone elses phone, he doesn't have skype which I have, so it's getting a wee bit hard to reach him other then facebook and texting.
I want to hear his voice -w-.....I want to see his face, not just...text and facebook message. Does anybody get me here?

Anybody else in a LD?
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Devious Comments

:iconealaincraft:
Ealaincraft Featured By Owner Mar 5, 2013   Digital Artist
As someone who's been in an LDR for over 4 years now, I can tell you that it's not easy.
Lack of phone obviously makes it harder and I'm fortunate to not have that problem, but I know what it's like to not be able to talk to them and see them every day.
My boyfriend lives like 6 hours away from me, 5 if there's no traffic, so it's rare we get to see each other.
I recommend maybe trying to see if he can get skype, I mean, it's free. And maybe you two can plan to see each other sometime soon? Maybe go on a little road trip with friends or something.
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:iconrenstalker:
renstalker Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dare I ask - does he ever make the trip to visit you?

And if he missed you that much, would it kill him to get a skype account?
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:iconriyuki-silverfury:
Riyuki-Silverfury Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Actually I am in a LD relationship. She's over 800 miles away and we have been going out for about...almost 4 years this coming October or November. We met in a game called Luna online in 2009 and have been best friends (online, not yet irl) ever since. We do talk everyday and use Skype to talk and webcam to each other. I actually stream movies for us in Skype and we have little dates like that. We talk about many things and have learned many things, but it still is hard because we would love to be physically close to each other, especially now that she is going through some very very tough and trying times... But one thing about her is that she loves art!--which is why I have an account here but don't actually have any real "deviations". I'm here to support her and her endeavors. If money wasn't an issue, I would visit her as she lives in Chicago and I live in South Carolina but...alas.. lol. :iconfluffycawwot: is her DA page.

You can do it! Because everyday you spend apart, the longing grows stronger and when you meet, it'll be the best day of your life! I'm looking forward to my meeting day with my love and am working hard towards it!
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:iconriyuki-silverfury:
Riyuki-Silverfury Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Actually there is a website I frequent: [link]

It's run by a couple who have gone through the long distance trial and actually are going to get married pretty soon. It is a big community of people going through long distance relationship and I figure this will help you as much as it has helped me. The gift suggestions are also great there! We both have these silicon bands around our wrist with the words "Love knows no distance" on them.

As far as your situation though, do the best that you can on your part! But honestly...2 hours isn't very far. If I have no means of transportation, I would at LEAST try taking a bus or some sort of public transportation available if that was the case. For it to be so close, there is always a way for the willing! Best of luck!
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student Digital Artist
If he's sticking you with all the expenses and trouble, he isn't giving you the respect necessary to be in a relationship with you.

Why doesn't he have a phone? If he's in a LDR and he cares about his partner, he either has at least a temporary prepaid phone or something, or he is currently making an effort to get a new permanent phone. No exceptions. If either of the latter statements is not correct, then the first statement is not correct: he is not in a LDR with someone he cares about.

Similarly, why doesn't he have Skype? Why is he not making that effort to communicate with you? It sounds to me like he doesn't miss you as much as you miss him.

I know right now you're seeing these things as "How do I overcome these obstacles in order to make my relationship work?" but you need to start seeing them as potential red flags. Why are there so many obstacles in the first place? If it's because he's putting them there or he's making no effort to help you remove them, that should be telling you something.
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:iconthantaphobia:
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2013
Story time!
So I'm in a non-committal, non-reciprocating "relationship" with a girl who lives three states away. Basically that means we're not actually dating and I'm the only one who actually believes it's a relationship, along with a few more issues. It's a fuckall-retarded mess, and I don't recommend it.
It didn't used to be like that, though; we were pretty much as close to being in a real relationship as you could be (she's uncomfortable with commitment). We talked to eachother almost every day and Skyped as often as possible.
I recently made plans to visit her, but she kinda shot them down and said that she was uncomfortable with seeing me at this point in her life, which I can understand; meeting someone you've never actually met in person can be stressful, so I'm willing to wait until she's ready.
At this point the "relationship" (I don't really even know what to call it) is a mess and I'm completely miserable, but I'm holding on in hopes that maybe she'll feel something for me again.
God, I sound pathetic. My sole advice? Don't be like me.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
If you know what it is oxo; Why don't you just leave?
That's not how a reltionship to be???

There's some things you gotta let go...that doesn't really...sound good XD;;

Your not SUPPOSED to be miserable in a reltionship, oxo; it sounds like your going through anguish for no apparent reason. If someone likes you, they show you that they like you, it shouldn't be a one sided thing. I mean, if you want to WAIT, and see if she'll like you back??? I don't recommend that XD!..But it's ultimately up to you.

Yeah that doesn't sound very cool???

I didn't even know what those words means before you told me what they were, but somehow I knew, those weren't good words to be using in a reltionship.

Do you really LIKE this girl??....to be MISERABLE AND WAIT for something that may or may not happen??
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:iconthantaphobia:
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Well, you may be right on most points; it isn't a good situation to be in. But I have never loved anyone as much as I love this girl. I'm willing to go through hell for her, and I'll likely have to before everything is said and done. I've lost too many people in life; I'm not going to lose her too.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
That's really beautiful to love her so strongly. oxo; BUT I really hope you either don't get burned and become a very bad person. or You get really hurt.

Your IMPUTTING 100% of your heart into this, sometimes you have to draw that back or else you will be shattered.

So oxo; I can understand you lost people in your life, but sometimes people leave our lives for a lesson.

However with this.
IF THIS is what you TRUELY want to do.
I respect that and leave it as that.
I WISH you all the good luck in your life
You surely deserve much BETTER then this.
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:iconthantaphobia:
Thantaphobia Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013
Thank you for caring and advice. I really hope this ends up better than it is now.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Your welcome.
I hope it ends up better then what it is now as well.
May god bless you and your loving heart.
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:iconbluegenesis:
BlueGenesis Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
^_^ In a long distance relationship too! Originally it was between New York (my home) and California (his home). But ever since I left abroad to study (and again to find work), the distance has widened between California and the Philippines (where I currently am). Been together for eight years now (going on nine for this year); it's been a long, rough road, but we've managed to get by!

And now that my boyfriend got his big break on getting a stable job, I'm hoping to see him later this year. Even better, I hope to live with him soon since we plan on it at some point and we've been talking about it often enough. On my part, I'm still trying to job hunt, so I can find something to work on for this.

We communicate every day (every other day if one or both of us are busy) by Skype, sometimes cellphone by text (unless I'm back in New York, we also call each other), handwritten and typewritten letters (on certain occasions), IMs, etc. So, always find ways to communicate~ Maybe a landline can work for you guys?

As for traveling to see each other... ^^ Definitely weekend visits, so you can save on money and gas.

Best of luck to you two! It won't be easy, but long distance relationships do work and are worthwhile.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for your story<3
I love hearing about the ROMANCEEEEE AND LOVE STORIES OF OTHERS IT SPARKS ME WITH HAPPINESS:heart:

YESSS, communicate is SUPER KEY.
Thank you for your advice.

But it's alright XD;;!! We decided to split ways, because he is still strongly feels for his ex so theres no room for me right now, He needs time D":
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:iconfantasy-flower:
fantasy-flower Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013   General Artist
I'm in a long distance relationship as well! A lot of the times, we play online games together...mmorpg games, and even compare our scores on other games. It makes us feel connected....although virtually. I send him drawings and food that you can only get here. We usually order things online since the packaging at the post office is expensive and is a hassle. Make sure to send your bf cards or gifts on important holidays like christmas and valentines to let him know that you're thinking of him! We do have skype and phone however, so try to urge him to get those things so you can communicate! But for now....do whatever you can to communicate... writing letters and pictures really help! Maybe visit him if you can. But some really important elements of LDRs is trust and persistence. If you love him and he loves you....you will get through it no matter what comes your way. And ignore all the ignorant stupid people who put you down. It's your life. But be wise. :).
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for your story! I really love hearing about other people's romance stories it sparks my soullll because there so lovely:heart:
I hope the best for you and your reltionship!!
This marks the end of mine though.
But D: Because he was still very much hung up on his ex and he needs time for that, not a girlfriend.
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:iconfantasy-flower:
fantasy-flower Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013   General Artist
Aww thanks. Yea. You don't want to be a rebound relationship. That wouldn't be fair to you.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Mar 4, 2013  Student General Artist
Basically.
It's alright we have decided to keep in contact, because he didn't burn my bridge or anything and he's a sweet guy.
He's just oxo; TIED up on his ex.
So I said if you want to try this again in the FUTURE, We could give it another shot ;D becomes sometimes you meet the right person, just in the wrong time.
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:iconfantasy-flower:
fantasy-flower Featured By Owner Mar 6, 2013   General Artist
I guess give him some time. If you really love him....and he loves you...then things will turn around. But you never know :)
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:iconmashkina:
mashkina Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, I was in LD relationships twice - once for three month and once for two years... And neither of them worked out, sadly :(
I guess the key to success is to tell your loved one everything that's going on in your life and listen to what he's going through, cause the worst thing is when you don't know what person they've become.
Try maybe calling his house phone if it's possible. Also, maybe there are phones over at post office that he can communicate through. Or computers in the library...
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Awwwwwwww ;x;! Sorry to hear that. Thank you for telling me your story. I appreciate it!
Yeah that makes alot of sense.

He gave me a phone he used on the regular, I don't even think he had a cellphone.
But It's alright, He's still has tied feelings to his ex, so he needs time for that, not a girlfriend :3 it's alright we have remained friends.
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:iconwhatonearth:
whatonearth Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, I guess I'll throw my story in too. Me and my bf have been dating for a year and four months, we've each flown to each other once so far (so two trips total). Its not really all that hard for me but I won't get to see him this summer and its a major bummer. ;~; Going to be almost a year until I can see him again... I think we can make it though. We make sure to keep in touch. Neither of us are big on phone calls but we send presents on holidays, talk daily online, webcam every once in a while, and try to come up with activities to do together while apart. c: We're still going strong so far, its definitely a struggle though since our families disapprove and we're still in college and therefore aren't yet independent. LDRs are about communication once it all boils down so keep that in mind. I believe they take a lot of trust and commitment but they can work, I've heard of it. Its not for everyone though, for the majority it would be disasterous. Haha.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
I think that's very lovely and very sweet that you guys visit each other!
Thank you for sharing your story.
Keeping in touch is SUPER key, I agree<3
Yeah, It's not for everyone!!
I actually wanted that one to work but D: He's still super hung up on his girlfriend so there's no place for me right now.
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:iconalevkov:
alevkov Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
I was once some time back ago, man i remember getting off work just to get into the car to have phone sex. But now, fuck that. It's not worth it if you constantly don't see each other.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student General Artist
Ah I see.
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:icondanceandmakeromance:
DanceAndMakeRomance Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013
Im in a LDR
We talk everyday; text, skype, etc

It works for me
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student General Artist
I'm very glad it does!! ^^:heart:
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:icondanceandmakeromance:
DanceAndMakeRomance Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
yes!
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Student General Artist
:heart:
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:icondanceandmakeromance:
DanceAndMakeRomance Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
aww
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:iconleticiakao:
leticiakao Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Professional Filmographer
2 hours away is not that terrible! I've handled much worse when I was younger XD I was 4 hours away from him, then I moved to another country initially to study, we still stayed together for a few months until i found out my mom was actually getting married in that country and I would have to live there most probably for the rest of my life. You have a much better chance :) so don't be afraid... make him create a skype account, it shouldn't be a big deal ! Be strong, you can do it :P if it doesn't work for some reason, it's not the end of the world. I got devastated when we broke up, but sadness doesn't last forever. :) I found someone else and he did too, we are both happy at the same time we don't regret being together, it is a weird but good feeling.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Your story is appreciated<3
Thank you for dropping by with your words.
It's okay though, we broke up XD;;
He wasn't over his ex <<;
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:iconleticiakao:
leticiakao Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Professional Filmographer
boo that sucks :( i'm sorry
you will find someone better though ! I know some people dream of finding the perfect partner right away, but the good thing of meeting more people is that you will find out your likes/dislikes/who you can trust or not and know more things about yourself as well. XD It hurts sometimes, but sadness doesn't last forever, you always get over it in the end :P haha good luck ! <3
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Awww your very sweet!
but don't be sorry it just wasn't the right timing.
That's a nice gesture, But I don't think about finding the perfect partner, because I focus on myself, should someone come along the way and I like them, Sure we can date, but overall I like learning more about myself personally as I go through the years ;3~!

But I understand FULLY of what your saying and your right. I learned some lessons in this one.
Even though he assured me, that he was over his ex. I should have just sad no anyway and told him, come back after time has healed all wounds, because it was all in all too soon D:

Ah I'm actually not that sad about it, I was sad at the fact that our CHEMISTRY really hit it off when we dated but It was about a month and some and I only invested 4% of my feelings so I'm alright ^^ He wasn't a bad boyfriend he just, wasn't honest with himself.
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:iconleticiakao:
leticiakao Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Professional Filmographer
i mean, we don't regret that we have been together in the past * >.> haha
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:iconmayvi:
Mayvi Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Try contacting him over msn on webcam. That could work. Does he have a house phone? Try that.
I have a friend who's boyfriend is all the way over in New Zealand. They get in touch through texting and skype. If he doen't have a phone urge him to get a cell phone. You can get them pretty cheap these days.
I've talked to her, so i know what you mean. But if you really care about eachother you can make it work. My friend and her boyfriend have been together for two years now :) It's been rough but they made it. He's set to come over in the summer to visit her for the first time in person :)
If they can do it, you can do it!
Good luck hun!
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Thanks for sharing your ideas and experiences with them
Thank you ;x;!! Okay
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:iconmayvi:
Mayvi Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
np :3
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2013  Student General Artist
:heart:
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:iconspudfuzz:
Spudfuzz Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've been in a LD relationship for almost 3 years now. We didn't meet with the intent to date - just as friends sharing philosophies and ideals. We kept chatting all the time and naturally we just grew attached. I live in Australia and he lives in Canada, after 2 years of both of us having up and downs yet still sticking together, we decided the relationship was strong and stable enough for one of us to move. Therefore I'm saving up all year and moving to Canada to live with him if all works out.

In my opinion whether it's a LD or not, relationships work best when they're built on strong mutual friendships, because in reality that's what you are - best friends with benefits. :giggle: Try not to get too dependent on talking to them all the time though, why not see if you can handle a little bit of time away to see if you're still interested or not? Either way if he's dedicated to you, he'll find a means to have a stable line of communication with you. ;P
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013  Student General Artist
Wow three years ^^!! I'M PROUD of you!
Oh wow!! Are you ready for that step?? ^^

Wow, thank you, I really agree with you and your right!<3
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:iconreixxie:
Reixxie Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I'm in a long distance relationship as well.
My boyfriend lives in California and I live in Texas. We met on an MMO three years ago and have been together for about a year and a half. We only get to see each other every so often, but we text every day, alot of the time all day back and forth unless one of us is busy, but that's partially cause I'm just nosy and want to know what's going on.
The minute we're both on the computer we're in a skype call and doing something together. We play the MMO we met on, we'll watch movies and TV shows on youtube through synctube, or he'll sit and read comics and tell me about them, tell me about video game or movies I haven't seen etc, while I sit and draw. We both just got into Xbox live, so we play Minecraft or Halo 4 together on occasion too.
This is the first long distance relationship I've been in, I'm only 21, but it feels like this is the only one I'll ever need to be in. Even though we can't see each other often, we get by.
Relationships like that are really trying and can be stressful, but they are what you make them, really.
My suggestion, have him get skype for sure. It's free to use, you just have to get a mic. Look up synctube, it's a good way to just spend time together, watching whatever strikes your fancy. If you both like video games, find some to play together. MMOs are great, and there are several that are free to play. My choice is Perfect World International, but it's one you have to take with a grain of salt for sure. Xbox is good, but it can be pricey, so it all depends on what you can afford to do.
Just remember, if you make each other happy, you have to stick with it. It won't be easy, but in the long run, it can be worthwhile.
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
wow! ^^ Thanks for your suggestion and that sounds really epic. You guys do so much stuff together it's EPIC to hear that!
Synctube hmmm Okay!
I AGREE with you!<3
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:iconreixxie:
Reixxie Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I wish you the best of luck <3 ^^
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you so much ;x;<3
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:iconhungryxhungryxhippos:
HungryxHungryxHippos Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student General Artist
I was in a long distance relationship for a year with someone over 4,000 miles away from me. Trust me when I say long distance relationships can totally work! They do require that you find time to call/Skype each other though! Just think of it this way, you should put as much time as you would put into any normal relationship. You should consider having Skype dates and ways to visit with one another even if you can't drive all the time to meet them. :-)

Regarding the gas issue... that just depends if you can afford it and if you think it's worth the drive. Perhaps you could find a way to meet somewhere in the middle or taking turns visiting one another? At the very least you can split the price for gas even if one person has to do the driving mostly. Also, I would go for weekend visits as you'll get to spend more time with them that way. :-)
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Thank you for your comment and concern!
Your right about that.
Thank you for the advice!<3
I agree!<3
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:iconhungryxhungryxhippos:
HungryxHungryxHippos Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Good luck! I'm happily together with my boyfriend now, so if you ever need any more help or just someone to talk to don't hesitate to drop me a line! :-)
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:iconhungryxhungryxhippos:
HungryxHungryxHippos Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student General Artist
Also, I should add that the said person I was in the relationship with I now see all the time as I moved to their country to study for a year. We're still together.
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:iconkizziesama:
Kizziesama Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
Ugh, long distance relationships are HARD! My husband and I have been together for 6 years now (married him last summer :meow:). For four years of our relationship, we lived on opposite sides of the country :stare: I hated how I could only see him for a couple weeks out of the year. We talked every day on the phone for a bit, he was always the last person I spoke to (even if it was just to say "good night").

If you're both willing to make the effort for each other, it should work out :) Two hours is a long trip and a lot of gas, but I'm sure you both can arrange dates for when you can meet up for something simple (a movie, or a lunch):nod: And you can certainly push him to get a skype, as it's a pretty cost effective way to chat with someone (and mics are cheap).
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:iconiiwi:
Iiwi Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2013  Student General Artist
IKR ;x;!! I feel you. I'm so happy to hear that you guys are now married ;X;!!!!<3
Thank you for telling me your lovely story.
I agree with the advice!
But oxO!
He wasn't over his ex e.e; So we broke it off.
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