I've sometimes wondered how my reactions to my parents deaths would have been handled differently had i been emotionally attached to them. These sorts of emotional purging's make me wonder if i did genuinely miss out on something of an enriching experience by having loving parents.
Be strong, you will get through this in one way or another, it sucks but such is life, filled with upside downs. I know it doesn't even compare but, I lost both my grandpas, first one when I was about 10, the other when I was about 20, sucked both times, especially the second time. Felt like I had to move mountains in order to go back to normal. Now I just wonder if he sees me struggling and if he is proud of me, I know he wanted me to finish school and get a degree, find a job. I'm doing my best. I have friends with situations like yours, e.g. lost their mother a year ago or so, and they try to live as normal as possible, hanging out with friends, working hard, taking care of things at home. It's really tough of course, everybody does what they can.
Whoa...im so sorry man. Having to lose someone is always a bad thing. But what we have to learn that it is just a part of life that we all have to accept ya know...? No one ever said that is was the easy part though... people die. From war, sickness, diseases, the list goes on. We cant stop it. We cant run away from it. Our time will all come someday. But the most important thing in life itself is to always move on wards, and never backwards. Im pretty sure thats what your parents would have wanted as well.
Thank you for the kind words. It's nearly been a month now and most sorrow is gone. Ofcourse it feels really awkward to come home to find no one home, and even more awkward when you sit downstairs where there used to be a bed with him either lying down on it or sitting on the couch. Weird things man. But we all fight on.