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January 20, 2013
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Feeling lonely from being alone

:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
I've been feeling like this for QUITE some time now....and I...I...I don't know what to do.

I'm 17 years old and in search of finding that special someone....ever since I broke up with my girlfriend who I met on dA back in September after 4 months...and the fact that on February 12, my best friend will have been with his girlfriend, whom he found on dA, for one year. What's worse is that I find my best friend's GF.....kinda cute :blushes:

Is it normal for a 17 year old to go looking for love?....Am I looking in the RIGHT PLACES?...The fact that I'm shy, timid and nervous around girls makes it the worst of my problems...

Could I please have help/advice?
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Devious Comments

:iconlordlooper:
LordLooper Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Don't worry someone will come eventually to you , i have been lonely for the first time after a lot of relationships and i cant tell you how free and not restricted i can feel, So enjoy yourself and your freedom as long as it lasts :) , Get yourself together and understand that every situation in our life has double si , its up to you which one you choose.
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:iconlordlooper:
LordLooper Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
***Get yourself together and understand that every situation in our life has double sides, just like a coint , its up to you which one you choose. ( sorry my keyboard sucks )
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:iconmars-walker:
Mars-Walker Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Okay, you don't have to agree with me at all, but I'm going to lay out my thinking on this.

I'm 24 and never found that 'special someone.'

And dammit I'm happy for that. A lot of people, for some reason or another, are frankly psychotic, most of the 'good people' have found each other already. I've seen so many 'cute couples' turn on each other and fall apart while scorching the earth all around them; the aftermaths can be especially awful when they use their 'youthful' naivete as an excuse (and it IS no excuse) not to practice this thing called birth control. 'Romance' and 'love' are words that are recklessly overused and in some extreme cases are verbal precursors to abusive relationships.

Imo, its not worth your time, especially when you can't support yourself, or even feel like you are currently worthy partner material (and if you don't 'feel' it, you aren't). By putting yourself in an 'active search' mode, your putting stress on yourself to conform to this ideal that may not be worth going for right now. 'Loneliness' is largely a social construct; many many many people 'feel' lonely because they're told to be lonely by mass media culture, and/or obnoxious relatives/"friends"/acquaintances that need to learn to mind their own goddamn business and not stress, manipulate, and control other peoples lives.

So don't stress yourself out over this. Shy around girls? Relax and just be a friend with girls, and just a friend. And yes I know some boys may say you're gay or a loser, but for gods sakes please ignore them, they DON'T have your best interests in mind. Love will come someday, you don't need to force it to happen, and imho, you shouldn't. At 17 you are absolutely not ready for anything that will last long, and anybody that tells you otherwise is full of shit. College is a better place, especially with the increase in maturity. Right now, just focus on learning, exploring, and building up friendships and acquaintances. Those are my thoughts.
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:iconedaofblacklagoon:
edaofblacklagoon Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
yeah! finding love is happiness. but make sure its PURE or TRUE LOVE. not only for games. cause mostly those guys are the same age as u usually toying relationship oftenly. not taking it seriously, so if ur going to love again. make sure u'll choose the right one. or if u can't find the love. games are there for u. LAWL!
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
O-okay...
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:iconjstar19000:
JStar19000 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You know, if i had the chance, I would come over there and sit on the couch with you and eat pizza and watch your favorite movie with you if i could.
But i can't.

so you have to be nice to yourself since i can't be over there.

Promise?
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
P-promise
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Student Interface Designer
I know how you feel. I'm the same age and honestly all I can think about is getting away from the immature experimental relationships of high school and moving on to a serious relationship with a future. I Mindanao went through one for a year but I broke up the guy and we went off and on until three months ago. Until recently ive felt heart broken (mainly because he wouldn't leave me alone) .

All I can say is talking helps and listening to music and getting out and about. Idk why but going to the mall helped me.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
O-okay...
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:iconskytch:
Skytch Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Dude, I'm 18, and I went through everything you did to the T. I used to be in a dA relationship way back when I first started off, so I know how you feel man. From my perspective, if I see a girl I like at school or at some local place, I'll try to talk to her. Losing your nervousness around girls isn't too hard if you start trying to be friends with them.
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:iconcrystalclearly86:
CrystalClearly86 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Try finding someone interested in you when you are mildly disabled. You are at least healthy and whole. Your body is not all scarred nor do you not have artificial body parts. So why are you bitching again?
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:iconxblackwater:
xblackwater Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Clearly that pretty smile of yours isn't disabled. So that's a good thing.
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:iconcrystalclearly86:
CrystalClearly86 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
You mean my toothy grin from my profile or my avatar?
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:iconxblackwater:
xblackwater Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I mean your toothy grin from your profile.
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:iconcrystalclearly86:
CrystalClearly86 Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
I don't like my teeth, but that's the least of my worries. But better than having dentures.
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:iconxblackwater:
xblackwater Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're really bad at taking compliments.
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:iconcrystalclearly86:
CrystalClearly86 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2013
Probably because I know I'm not anything special. If you read my journal you would understand.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
What does "Mildly Disabled" refer to?
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:iconcrystalclearly86:
CrystalClearly86 Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013
mildly disabled means nothing like a wheelchair or other aid to mobility is needed. I can do mostly everything but suffer pain or discomfort in doing some of it.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Ok
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:iconalchiel:
Alchiel Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
It's pretty normal that you want to be loved, work on yourself first. Make sure you love yourself best first. Don't actively look for love.
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:iconfreakylaurent:
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Professional Photographer
LDR isnt good either
Believe me

Yet ur awfully young

Lots o luck Kiddo
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:iconvampiress-stocking:
Vampiress-Stocking Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
try this [link]
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:iconwolfclaw97:
wolfclaw97 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You're 17. :D Practically the whole world ahead of you. Stop THINKING about love and start thinking about your future. It'll come when you least expect it.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Okay...^^
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
While it is normal for you to go looking, it is also normal for these relationships not to last. You learn as you go in life and get better at things thru experience, and that goes for relationships too.

Also, it is the very, very rare couple who gets together in their teen years and lasts past 25, that is because it is a period of intense experience and change in a person's life, and you will likely change enough to not have enough in common to sustain a serious relationship with someone who is perfect for you right now 4 years down the road.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Interesting...does this apply to long-distant relationships as well? :hmm:
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
Which part? dosn't really matter, because it is yes to all of it.

Relationships take practice, and even online, you will learn things that work and things that do not work, although a face-to-face will give you more experience, in a larger variety of situations.

That teen relationshps normaly do not last, yes. LD relationships are more likely to not last simply because you meet the person IRL and often find that the person you love is the person you build up in your mind around their personality, not the actual person.

The relationships now often do not last into adulthood is true as well. You meet someone online, and you really bond over your mutual love of LOTR stuff (choosing that because of your avatar) as time goes on, she goes to college and studies entemology, and when graduating is offered a great job in South America, in the rain forests, whereas you studdied accounting and there is just not a large call for accountants in the rainforest. So your lives pull you in different directions and then she becomes involved in life where she is, and you become involved in life where you are. You drift apart. She learns spanish and gets into spanish movies (only thing available there) you are seeing movies she can not see, and the bonding over movies is gone. Then you discover that is all you really had in common.

It's what happens, you change more as a person in the years from about 15 to about 25 than you do in the entire time prior to it, or after it. It's when you change from who you were as a child, to who you will be as an adult. And everyone about you, who is your age, is changing at the same rate.
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:iconincandescentinsanity:
IncandescentInsanity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
It's okay if you find your friend's main squeeze cute. It just means you're attracted to humans!

You're only 17 man. It's not gonna be like this forever. I agree with :iconfirstxaidxkit: and will not repeat what they said
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Ok, thanks

BTW that first part "It just means you're attracted to humans!" bit made me laugh abit inside ^^
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:iconincandescentinsanity:
IncandescentInsanity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student General Artist
That's good :>
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
:nod:
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:iconpharaoh-ink:
Pharaoh-Ink Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Student Digital Artist
It's understandable that you feel lonely, but at 17, there's no need to rush, or feel pressured into finding that magical someone who's the one. I won't tell you that there's no way you'll find her, but it doesn't have to be a countdown or a chase. Loneliness can stem from many places, and can be filled with many different kinds of love. Maybe what you need is a friend that you can depend on and trust, and from there, maybe it has the potential to evolve into more.

But also consider the activities in which you can come across others. After school activities, for example, clubs, organized events, public places. There is such a wide world out there where you can interact, you don't have to limit yourself to dA. When it comes to shyness, that's perfectly fine, take your time and calm your nerves. Women are people too, and want to be approached as such. There's no need to be nervous, they won't turn into dragons and eat you. Just approach people with respect and courtesy, while being genuine, truthful, and interested, and I'm sure something will spark. You're very young though, don't worry too much about it. I'm sure someone else will be able to give you some better advice. Sorry for the long reply! :)
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
I do have a friend who I can depend and trust, my best friend :iconhtf-invader96:

The problem is...that I'm not that social...I have Aspergers you see
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
I am also a 17 year old male with Aspergers who's been quite lonely and let me just say, I think the advice that guy is giving is good for both of us.

I've met a lot of people through the drama club at my school and it's been a very enjoyable experience, even if I haven't found any romantic leads from it.

Just find ways to do stuff you enjoy with other people who also enjoy said things and eventually you'll probably find somebody you'd like to ask out.
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:iconkeltzar:
Keltzar Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Just as a side note, not finding somebody to ask out is okay too, as long as you're enjoying yourself.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
O-okay...^^
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Your problem is that you're looking for love. How about focusing on other things that make you happy and let love come to you? You'll probably be a helluva lot happier.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
O-okay....
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:iconshadowflashdabearded:
Has a good point and being who you are. Hey, seriously I am 24 but have the inspiration of my mother who found true love only after 26 years, raising me on her own, to end up meting the right person. She asked herself why so late, better late than never and would do all over. Stay cool.
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:iconaeronauticalrr:
AeroNauticalRR Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013
Okay
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:iconkey-master-himeko:
Key-Master-Himeko Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013   Traditional Artist
I found my fiance after getting out of a long-distance relationship and when the last thing I wanted was to get attached again. It comes when you least expect it, and it'll get worse before it gets better. Cliche I know, but it's true.
Everything will find a way to fall into place in the end and your happiness will gently fall into your lap if you learn from life. Just because you're young doesn't mean you can't be wise.
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