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January 18
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Replies: 15

German speakers wanted

Forums > Community > Help with Life
:iconrenstalker:
~renstalker Jan 18, 2013
I know the title doesn't really sound like something that should go into the "help with life" forum, but let me explain.

I'm currently dating a German guy on my year abroad from Uni. When I say dating we aren't boyfriend and girlfriend, but at the same time it's not an open relationship. Very confusing I know.

Sometimes I feel I don't know what he really wants from this relationship, I.e whether it's just a little bit of fun, or whether he'd consider anything more serious. As a non-native speaker of German therefore, I have a problem with the phrase "Ich hab' dich lieb."

What does this mean exactly? I've asked one of my German friends who pretty much told me it depended on context - it could either mean "I like you" and you could say it to close friends or you could also say it to your crush because it's a lot easier to say than the "L" word, and yet at the same time it can mean pretty much the same thing as "Ich liebe dich."

Once before he has also told me in English ILY, but I'm thinking perhaps that's because there isn't an inbetween word in English. It's either I like you (sounds kinda lame) or I love you (which I don't think you should really throw about all the time/ at the beginning of a relationship.)

Opinions would be very much appreciated :-)

tl;dr - "Ich hab' dich lieb" What does this mean?
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:icon3wyl:
^3wyl Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I think you should ask him straight what he wants from you and the relationship between you two. Then you can go from there. :shrug:

Communication is key in any relationship. You really can't make it work without communication, so.. if you're struggling now, then.. yeah. Something to think about.
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:iconorangekrissy:
*OrangeKrissy Jan 18, 2013
You could try yahoo translate or a like translation site for German into English. You might also consider getting Rosetta Stone so you can learn German rather quickly.
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:iconrenstalker:
~renstalker Jan 18, 2013
That's a good idea, but my problem is just this phrase in particular. I've already studied German, and I understand all the words involved...however not the implication :-( I want to know if he's saying he loves me, or whether he just likes me. This phrase seems to be in the middle of the two (love and like) and for that reason I was wondering how native German speakers would interpret it.
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:iconeuterpe-the-egret:
~Euterpe-The-Egret Jan 18, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I don't see why "I like you" is lame. Love, to me, is a strong word that shouldn't be thrown around as much as it is.

You also seem to already have your answer. Why not actually TALK to your German guy and see what he is thinking about you and this relationship.

You should really work on communicating with him. Communication is key to a successful relationship and at the moment, you two aren't doing so well.
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:iconself-epidemic:
=Self-Epidemic Jan 18, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You are dating someone you can barely understand, sounds like a potential disaster!
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:iconrenstalker:
~renstalker Jan 18, 2013
I don't know, we do understand each other but at the moment I'm feeling slightly insecure/down so am probably just looking too much into things.
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:iconnarkya:
~Narkya Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Well, yes... you've already got the answer, even though I know it's hard to get.
I normally use that when talking to my parents or my best friend. I do use it to talk to my boyfriend sometimes because it gets boring always saying the same thing. So, there you go. You need to get a feel for how your date interprets it at that specific time. Watch him while he is saying it.

But at the very least, it means that you two are close.
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:iconsolum-ipsum:
~Solum-Ipsum Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This might help. [link]
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:iconrenstalker:
~renstalker Jan 18, 2013
Haha xD

It took me a while to get the joke.... I was like but I don't want a stereo :'(.....oh wait xP
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:iconkittythenekoalien:
~KittyTheNekoAlien Jan 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I totally thought this was what the thread was about the first time I read this XD
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