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January 17, 2013


Replies: 400

The value of virginity?

hananoyosuke Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2013
I was always one of those people who planned on saving it for marriage. I'm now 22 and realize I suck at relationships. Almost every guy I've ever loved has been someone I met online, and things always failed before we could meet. I came to the conclusion that I will probably never be loved or get married, so I feel I'm "saving my virginity" for nothing. I'm starting to feel like an old virgin, but I don't know if I'm ready to have sex anyways...

Anyhow, one of my good friends is newly single, and he's been trying to get me into an FWB situation (which has already kind of started, but barely). He was the first guy I ever loved, and I'd be FWB with him because...well, there's a voice in my head, like my 15-year-old self's voice, saying "BUT, BUT, YOU USED TO LOVE HIM SO MUCH...YOU ALWAYS WANTED THIS TO HAPPEN." But he's changed a lot since I loved him, and I know there is no danger of me falling for him again, getting emotionally hurt, etc.

I dunno what my problem is. Should I care if I give my virginity to a man-slut who doesn't love me, just for fun? If I'm going to "waste" my virginity, at least it's on someone I once loved a great deal? Are any guys my age actually virgins, and if they are, are they interested in fucking virgins? I imagine a guy my age would want someone who has more skills in bed, so here is my opportunity to get them...should I go for it?

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Devious Comments

crunchyspart Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
if you have sex too soon, then thats all your relationship will be about. after a few rounds you or he will start looking for someone else since you're not in a committed relationship. im always hearing ppl complain about that.
as far as being 22, youve been watching too much TV if you think thats too late. having sex too soon makes a great drama, and thats why you see it everywhere.
your friend and acquaintances that are having it, what would you say their IQ is at?
keep in mind, 1/4 adult americans have geneital herpes (not including other STDs), 80% are unaware they have it. actual statistic, search for yourself. im 23 and still carry a v-card. i dont know who my future wife is going to be but i know i dont wanna spread anything to her. (my cousin had chlamydia and later ovarian cancer and she was only 20. she survived but she cant have kids anymore.)
while im bummed i havnt found the right person yet, i'm not bummed i still have a v-card. big difference.
ultimately, choice is yours and stay safe.
hastsmak Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013   General Artist
I wouldnt waste it, if your sex drive hasnt already landed you in trouble yet then what is the point in raising its ugly head?

Would you be happy to be pregnant to this guy, if not dont do it
Io-T Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Although I have little experience in this arena since I lost mine to my partner at 15 (After he proposed no less, 13 years together now). But the one thing I do remember was that it was awkward, uncomfortable and a horrible, clumsy experience that was more embarrassing then magical. Things didn't have "magic" until after a while once we figured things out.

If virginity is important to you, I would wait, but if you want the first time with someone you love to be special, it might be a good thing to pick up some experience before hand. Remembering what my first time was like I would be depressed and embarrassed to have a nice fancy romantic honey moon turned into a joke because it ends up being painful and awkward.

It does boil down to trust however. Do you trust your friend to help you learn? Do you think you will get hurt by it? If you go into this would he be understanding that he needs to take it slow with you and help you learn or would he be the jump and go type? Man slut can have many meanings, ranging from selfish dick to ladies man. The former would be disappointing and I would avoid it, but if he's a ladies first kind of guy it may be a good experience.
IaiaRose Featured By Owner Mar 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You would not believe the number of men who have remained virgins until even 30. I have had several female friends/relatives who had virgin boyfriends at the ages of 24, 30, and 22. I can understand wanting to get "rid of it". However, you're better off waiting. From a practical standpoint, you need someone who is going to take lots of time preparing physically. Chances are that isn't going to happen with a "man whore". If you sleep with a friend, it can either explode or turn into a relationship. I've seen both ends of that spectrum. If you were in love with him a long time ago, and now sleep with him, you might get very very attached. If it blows up, or you meet someone else later, you might wish you would've waited.
scalman Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2013
i think if u must ask that question ..then is no value in it at all .. u make value yourself all goes from how u act and what you do ..
tororoplz Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013
Nonesense. There's very little to no value in virginity. It's only fetishism, romantic, and religeous ideals that assign such significant value to it.
Don't waste your time on empty values.
Necrocoitus Featured By Owner Mar 16, 2013
Winxclubgirl Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There's value in your own virginity if you feel there is, but if not then there isn't. It's not the same for everyone.
CyberPrime Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2013  Student Writer
The thing is: there's about 8 billion people on the planet.
Approx. 3,487,869,561 (that's about 3.5 billion) men live on this planet.
That means there's about 3,487,869,560 guys you have not met.

There are still plenty of "fish in the sea."

I am saying this as a 21yo virgin myself:
DO NOT lose hope,
DO NOT give in to peer pressure,
DO NOT lose faith in yourself.
DO NOT let others sway your final judgement; in the end, you alone will endure the consequences.

DO what your heart (and yours alone) tells you is right.

hananoyosuke Featured By Owner Mar 11, 2013
Meh. I'm aware of how math works. That 3.4 billion number is males, not men. Try taking out the number of infants, children, elderly, don't speak the same language, already taken. I'd estimate it reduces the number by half, at least. I mean, you still end up with a big number, but it's a far cry from 3.5 billion. Even if there are plenty of fish in the sea, what good does it do if you're fishing from a crappy dock in the middle of nowhere?

It's hard to know what to do when I don't know what's right. I probably shouldn't do it, though...
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