Things usually become a lot better when you move away. For one thing, it's easier to put up with things you disagree with when you only have to deal with them for one weekend once in a while instead of every day.
But you will probably always disagree, the thing about having immigrant parents is that they expect their kids to belong to the culture they left, and not the one they are living in. I'm sure it must be very difficult for them to be surrounded by foreigners and then discover that their kids have also grown up to be foreigners. But you have to live your own life, and they have to deal with their own issues. If they can't, that's sort of their problem.
I'm just a year older than you and a guy, but my parents can also get a bit over protective. My suggestion is to approach it from an understanding and patient perspective. You already know that she is a loving mother, so there are some benefits in what she is teaching; despite being over the top about some things at times. Overtime I even found that they are right about things I disagreed with before lol.
Also, I myself am born in a Catholic family, though my family did not take our faith seriously at first until I myself set the example in the household. From, what you said above, I would assume that you believe in God but do not consider your faith an important part of your life. So regarding her religious expectations, I think it'd best to first paint a small picture of what our faith is about.
Basically, we see our purpose in life as coming to know and love God, and being united with Him in Heaven. After all, if you believe God exists, then He would of course be more important than any temporary relationships, possessions, pleasures etc in this world lol.
So relating this back to your mother's expectations, sunday is considered the Lord's day, when Jesus arose from the dead, and is considered an obligation day for Mass. In simpler terms, its like dedicating only an hour of your day, to spend time with God and celebrate His resurrection.
I do not what to make it too long, so I'll stop the preaching lol. It may be weird why someone young like me is so interested in my faith, but I consider it more as a beautiful way of life it that makes sense. I have fun just like any other young adult (no longer a teenager T_T) hanging out with friends, watching movies, playing games etc. But I also make the effort to make the right moral decisions, regarding everything from talking to people to sex.
If you can show your mother that you are someone who takes morality and your faith serious, then she will probably trust you more. And if she doesn't lol, then at least you would have become a respectable person who can be patient and understanding of her, and maybe even correct her where she is wrong.
Sorry it's so long lol, i get passionate about such topics. Also if you don't might, please take the time to look at my gallery. Hope things work out with you and your mother. God bless
She is just treating you how she was, as taco says, you're just going to have to deal with it, all parents are like this, my Mother enjoys telling me I'm shit at everything, I think its to encourage me, I can't comment on it though, so I just smile and go on my way, eventually when I move out, I'll just tell her that it is my life, and this is what I choose. She is just going to have to deal with that, eventually.
The answer is in Honour. A heart of honour toward your parents will open doors and opportunities. Even when they disagree with you and even when they are completely wrong and cramping your desires and style. Doesn't mean you must at all times follow what they say, but aslong as you honour and respect them. Even verbally saying to your mother, "I love and honour you". Trust me it will soften her heart and open opportunities in your family. Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger. Most of all, love your mother and show it!
She’s trying to protect you from things that she knows can happen. The fact that they probably won’t, is irrelevant. Her frame of reference differs from yours. This is not going to change. The best thing you can do is find a way to move out so that you establish a separate existence from her. She will eventually realize -at least- that she can’t protect you from every potential danger and bad decision with her nagging and worrying.
I really do want to have a heart to heart talk with her. I have thought about doing that, but the last time my older brother and I tried to talk to her about how we feel, she said that she is never wrong about anything. That is not true. Everyone can do things wrong a lot.
I do feel like it is time to move out, but the best thing for me is finishing up my associates degree and then transferring onto a 4-year college away from home. In the future I do want to move to California to live. Right now I live in Missouri and I love California and travelling. The only way I could travel and go out of the house is because of relatives living in those areas, if not my mom would freak out. Like I told her once I wanted to go over to Cali with a friend who was originally my boyfriend at the time, but she got so worried. She said I'll get kidnap and started telling me all these scary stories. Then again that boyfriend that I did had at the time I did met him online. We broke up because I think he got scared of my mom and my family and other reasons too.. She makes it hard for me to date guys as well..
In our continuous
effort to improve
Site Updates to keep
members informed and
to gather feedback.
Below is a list of
recent changes to
the site, bug fixes,
and feedback that
was brought up by
members in the last
figured it out from
hours.Maybe they had
to take some time.I
know how it goes
from wrong and
sound.Did they ever
hold each other
they ever fightLike
us?We can make it
'til the end.Nothing
does it mean these
means that for what
they have in
Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More