You're looking at things from your own point of view, rather than thinking about what goes on in their heads. It doesn't mean their lives are terrible. If you don't know what something feels like, how can you miss it? You're looking at it from the side that if you were to wake up tomorrow with Aspergers, it would make your life difficult, because you feel like you would still have the same level of need for emotional intimacy, just you wouldn't be able to express it. Which isn't the case.
Often, people with autism and Aspergers have no desire to develop emotional attachments and no need to. Their brains are simply wired differently to "normal" people.
Many with ASD do not view it as a negative but as a difference; they do not want to be 'cured', some may even feel that the world would be a better place if more people thought the way they do. If it was a unanimous 'living hell' this would not be the case.