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January 7, 2013


Replies: 40

Silent Treatment

FreeService Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So I am getting the silent treatment from my long term best friend who thought I was being annoying for asking the same question, but for different situations. Her family shuts off her internet during the day time so she can get out and be active. That means she can be in 3 places, where two of them have internet. (Coffee shop and a friend's house.) I linked her something asking her if she can view it, and apparently she was home, and got very snobby about it. Apparently it irritated her so much to where she spat out at me thinking I was stupid and said she wouldn't view the link because of it. I didn't mean to annoy her of course, I wound up looking like I am asking the same question, but its because I have no idea where she is at, and I know she doesn't like to be home now because of her parents constantly telling her to get out and do something.

Little bit of history, we clashed heads before, and technically she gave me the silent treatment for 3 months. That was back in 2009. That really did hurt me and changed me, and I really didn't trust her after that but I was willing to give her a second chance to see if she would understand.

After she snapped at me, I kind of broke down from her behavior, because she's been rude toward me, ignorant, and thinks she smarter than me ever since we reunited in 09. I always put it behind me because it shouldn't be a big deal, but now I just feel like I have to please her in order to remain friends with her, and it finally lead me to ask her why she treats me like that, and mentioned that I was crying. (Because I couldn't handle it any longer.) She just logged off and never talked to me since then.

She has been giving me the silent treatment for a week and a half now, and I am not sure what to do. I did some research that explains people who use the ST will keep on using it, and it can be a form of emotional abuse. Back then, I was crying every night, but now I am just worried about myself. I want to make the choice if the friendship should stay or not. I care for her, and I want her to be happy, but I don't wish to be treated like this anymore. I just have a awful feeling she will ignore that fact and think its okay to be the way she is still.

I heard from a other friend that she was mad at me and needs time to cool down, but the cold shoulder really doesn't help this friendship, and I don't like how I am being treated. Its like I am being punished for being emotional. I wish she communicated with me about the situation and I could had a chance to explain myself. I don't want to have this issue again for the 3rd time.

I need help making a choice. Should I just forgive her and give her a 2nd chance? or should I call quits on the friendship? Your advice/opinions will help me.

I thank all of you for any advice. :heart: (Sorry about the long text)


My friend has been giving me the silent treatment for a week and a half for being irritated, she also did it to me for 3 months in 2009. Should I give her a 2nd chance or just let the friendship go?

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Devious Comments

signsofortune Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
It's up to you girl. I'm going to ask a question here though:

Is there any positive contributions this girl has made to your friendship? Is there anything about her that makes you happy? Or something she does that shows that she likes you/cares about you as a friend?

some people have moments at which they are really unpleasant people. Those same people sometimes have moments in the which they are really great people.

You have been willing to overlook her actions in the past. that's fine. if you choose to do so again, that's your choice, and your emotions which you are choosing to put on the line. But if the relationship is entirely one-sided, if what you have described describes everything, the relationship will likely deteriorate to a point that it is unrecoverable.

friendship is a two way street. one person might do more walking than the other, but if only one person walks, than it's a terrible friendship.

if this is one of those terrible friendships, I will offer a third option: you can become more of an acquaintance than a friend. Maybe someday you might become close friends again. :shrug:
Adder-SnakeBite Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I would say you should sever your friendship (if that's what you call it) with this person. It sounds like they're not worthy to have friends if they treat others like something dirty on the bottom of their shoe.
Tinoculars Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
She sounds like a passive aggressive bitch that needs to be kicked in the cunt.
FreeService Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thank you everyone, I think I got enough advice and support here. The thread can be closed at any time.
WishingUnderThatStar Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're going to have to talk to someone about getting it locked.
BTW, she's a wanker. If she tries to guilt trip you or anything, just remember that and move on.
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Professional Photographer
Kiss - Keep It Simple Stupid

So why waste time and energy to win em back?

Just drop it and make another friend and start over?
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Student Writer
Ignoring someone is petty and manipulative, but if it gets results (in this case, you apologising and grovelling for forgiveness), she'll keep doing it. Don't reward her childish behaviour; let her get on with it and then she can talk to you if she stops sulking. Don't try to apologise to her, initiate conversation or anything until she's ready to grow up. It's all very well to be annoyed - who doesn't get irritated at friends from time to time? - but past the age of eight nobody should think that the silent treatment is the best way to solve conflict.
divine--apathia Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
This is what you'd call a best friend?
FreeService Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At a certain point of time, yes.
MidNightMagnificent Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It's probably difficult losing a someone whom you've considered a friend for a long time. But, give it a while more. Soon, you won't even know or care that they're gone.

Source: Gotten rid of a few "friends" in that way before.
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