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January 7, 2013
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I think I hate my family

:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Well, the title is misleading; I know I hate my family, I just want advice on how to deal with them until I can move out.
My father struts around like he's king of the hill - everything has to go his way, he owns everything, his word is law. Since I've turned 18, and since I've been formulating my own opinions about the world, I've become 'a threat' to his dominance so he regularly derides me in front of my friends and girlfriend, insults me and my opinions, etc. For example, I am forbidden to ever have tattoos, stretch my ears, or 'defile' my body in any other way.
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
metalhartrockandroll Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013
I moved out when I was 15 for the same reason. I hated my dad and my brother and mother, I haven't seen them in about 8 years and I don't regret it.
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:iconfuyuko7:
Fuyuko7 Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I hate my dad as well...
I just grin and bear it...until I can move out
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Writer
Harsh truths might be needed for you, even if they aren't that pleasant to hear. ~FIRSTxAIDxKIT is right, especially about your brother; just tell him to do stuff for himself.

Your isses with your father sound like problems that roughly half of the 18 year olds I know face. The only thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and don't get any tattoos, piercings or whatever while he's paying for your life. Fair? No. But just because you're legally an adult doesn't mean that you have a fair relationship with your parents while you're living with them; you don't, trust me. They have all the power in your relationship until they aren't supporting you in any way and you're not living in the house they own/rent.

If you want to end your problems with them, get a job and look into places available for rent in your area. As to how to deal with them in the meantime, just keep your mouth shut, remember who's paying the bills and don't take crap from your brother, but don't start fights either. If he wants to screw up his exams, that's his business.
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:iconfreakylaurent:
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Photographer
Well . . .

Seems as if your'e dealing w/ this so called

Anal retentive

Why not have a frank discussion and ask him to tone it down just a tad??
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:icondisappearing-inkwell:
Disappearing-Inkwell Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
my family does the same things ... the best thing you can do is just wait it out until you can move out, money will probably still be a problem, but everyone's having money problems now in days.

good luck on whatever you decide to do.
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:iconart-by-cait:
Art-By-Cait Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Hm..

I love with my mom and stepdad. When I was 16, my stepped began to act that way. He was so controlling that if I locked my door, I'd get yelled at for disobeying him. I wasn't allowed to.cook, I wasn't allowed to eat certain foods (for example, canned chicken I wasn't allowed to use one can to make a sandwich or I'd get in trouble), after a certain time I couldn't eat or shower or play video games. He would demand things and tell me how I had no right to speak my mind. I wasn't eighteen yet, so I didn't matter in the house. My opinion was worthless. We would fight constantly- I ended up walking out of my house at 3am without anyone knowing after we had a fight. That shook my mom, who began to stand up for me. It opened room to talk, and over time I established a place in the house. As soon as I was able, I left. I went to love with my bf. I'm back now, however I have an even bigger place here than before.

My advise is NOT to run away. That can have a very bad affect. If it's that bad, and you're eighteen, find skin. Set up a bank account that you control, it doesn't matter if your parents know. As soon as you can, move out. That's really your only option at the moment.
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:iconart-by-cait:
Art-By-Cait Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
Live* Damn auto correct
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I'm trying to waitit out until I got o university in September this year.
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:iconart-by-cait:
Art-By-Cait Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
If it's that bad, you need to leave :)
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
My mother over reacts to EVERYTHING, wailing like a banshee if a stain appears on the carpet or if anything upsets her fragile little world. She is unable to trust anyone since my dad had an affair 10 YEARS AGO. Long fucking time.

My brother is the laziest fucking cunt I have ever met, 16 years old and failing his GCSEs because of lack of effort, all he does is sit on his arse all day playing xbox or on his ipad. And he treats me like a slave, asks for drinks and food, makes me go second for a shower, second at everything like a snobby fucking prince.

Please DA friends, my imaginary voices. Tell me what to do.
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:iconb-nicolet:
b-nicoleT Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Writer
I'm sure you're not perfect either. Stop judging your family members and start trying to help them. It sounds to me like you're just criticizing your family members over every little thing they do that irks you. Seriously, be more respectful to your mother especially. Of course she doesn't trust people easily after her husband cheated on her. I don't see what's so unreasonable about that.

And with your brother, 16 year old boys are usually lazy asses. If you don't like him telling you what to do, then tell him to do it himself. It kind of sounds to me like you're just as bad as him, considering you're whining on the internet about everyone in your family.

My dad is very opinionated and has strict rules for me too. But, you know what? He means the best. I'm sure your dad does too. Part of being an adult is learning how to co-exist with people whose opinions, habits and lifestyles are different from yours. Until you move out and start paying your own bills you have no right to complain about having to obey your dad's rules.

Every kid has problems with their family. I'm 18 too and get mad at my parents sometimes. Sometimes my own brother is an ass. But I deal with it and find a way to make things better without going off on a nasty tangent about my family.

Growing up is hard. That's the plain and simple truth. You're going to have trouble, but it's your responsibility to move on with life and be as helpful to others as possible.
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Tell you what to do? Stop bitching and move on with your life.

Your mother and how she feels about her affair is absolutely none of your business. I wouldn't blame her for holding that grudge until the day she dies. Just because you think that 10 years is enough time to get over your partner til death do you part betraying your love and trust for a piece of ass, doesn't mean everyone else does.

Oh your brother asks you to get him stuff? Tell him to get off his lazy ass and do it himself. So what if he plays video games all day? Is this causing you to not look for a job and another place to live? Is he forcing you to be his slave? Man the fuck up.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Kind words friend. Kind fucking words.
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
I'm not trying to kind. Not all advice is ass-pats; sometimes people need a slap in the face to make a change in their life.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Well, buddy. This isn't one of those situations. Nice sentiment though.
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
Oh? Sounds like you're whining about your life without any initiative to want to change it.
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:icondraze:
draze Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   Traditional Artist
move out.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
it isn't that simple. i have no money (locked up in accounts my parents own) and nowehere to go
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:icondraze:
draze Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   Traditional Artist
Youre thinking of this as if youre the only person ever to be in this situation.

There's always reasons to NOT do something. If you dont want to move, don't. But you cant ALSO expect what you want to happen on its own.

Move. Out.

If its that bad, money shouldnt EVER be an issue.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you very much but I am fully aware that there are other people in this situation, I never said I was the solitary sob story.

I came to this forum looking for some simple advice, and all I get is this? Thank you very much for making my day, friend.
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:icondraze:
draze Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013   Traditional Artist
simple advice is what I gave you.

Its clear your problem is that you wanted to whine and get attention for it. Have a good day, boy. Life is going to be insanely difficult for you.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Hahahahaha
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:iconcoldblackraven:
ColdBlackRaven Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
aw hey don't get down. You know how people react to people in trouble. Are you the youngest sibling?
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Oldest of two
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:iconcoldblackraven:
ColdBlackRaven Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'm sorry if any of my words make you feel bad but here's the thing. The way your father is now putting you down even more especially in front of your younger brother is because he knows you've reached the age where you'll be making your own decisions. He isn't really threatened by you, he wants to put you back into your place. He's unknowingly hurting you on purpose because he might be afraid of what comes when a guy turns 18. Maybe he's afraid to lose you or maybe he just can't take someone interrupting him.

Whatever the reason. Moving out is the worst thing you'll do in this situation, with no money, no place to go. That would be the hardest of hell. And your brother is just ganging up on you seeing how your dad treats you, so first thing, put him back in his place.

The best way to do it, without attracting any attention is. You ignore him. Ignore his existence. He talks, don't answer. He calls you, don't answer. Let him know on his own just how horrible he's treating you. Your silence will do more trust me.

Do NOT move out! Okay? Don't! If you're done with high school then get yourself in college. You're not gonna live with your dad forever so might as well take advantge of it. Use his expenses to become able first, you need a job to move out. And when in one or two years of college if you think you'll now be able to move on with your life. You can leave without any explanation.

The thing is my friend, you kinda need them right now for the money. So you have to tell yourself to just put up with it. Think about the future and it will help. The days you'll finally have enough ability to abandon these people and live the life you've always wanted. You have to lose something to get something. And in your case it's your pride and desires.
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:iconan-epitaph-to-truth:
An-Epitaph-To-Truth Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Yeah, that's the thing that took longest for me to realise. The fact that I need them for the money and the roof over my head. I'm (fingers crossed) going to get into university this september, at which time i'll just sever connection with them
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