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January 5, 2013


Replies: 18
SooperRae Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
I honestly don't know why I'm here or what my purpose on this planet is. I feel more stupid and worthless the older I get (I'm 22 btw) and alot of tragic things have happened to me since Jan 2012.
For starters I lost my only best friend in a car accident almost 1 year ago,(the anniversary of his death is in a week)and I lost a friend to suicide in November of this year. so I've been feeling down about not only that I'm also having serious realtionship issues with my boyfriend. we constantly fight most of the time . and to top it all off, When I'm down my "friends" are never there when I do ask to talk (which isn't very often, as I tend to bottle things up). *sigh*

It just Feels like weights are being piled on me and I can't remain standing anymore.
In all honestly I feel like just giving up :(
I just don't know what to do anymore :(

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Devious Comments

PhillterUnfiltered Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013
I can't relate to the death of a friend, just my friends dad and his moms attempt of suicide as we found her dying on the ground.... but I digress. I do know a thing or two about life going down hill. When every ambition fails, self worth diminishes, being left alone to solve your own problems. Above all I understand the feeling of bearing such weight and not knowing how to take it out. Saying that it sucks is an understatement.

There is a silver lining to all of this. It gets easier. Bearing such weight gives you the opportunity to grow muscle. Hang in there, things will get better, they always do after the worst is over.
Neywa Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No!! You can't end it like that! Imagine all the things that you're not going to live. And what about the family, can't they help you?

I'm sorry for your bestfriend but even though it's a bit early you have to move on. You still have friends, I think you should tell them. Maybe organise a night in your house or in a quiet place and just talk. Tell them that you're thorugh a moment when you really need them to be with you and, at least, know how you're feeling. It's hard but friends will always help, in any way, they always help, just by listening they're people that you consider friends, so think why they also consider you their friend.

I would personally look for more support on the family. And also look for some help, admiting to have a problem is the only way to treat it so, you have half of the work done! Look for professional help too.

One of the things that I think is important is that, if you friends didn't realise how you're feeling right now, then... they're not just the best friends but, don't feel bad about it, you will only have a best friend or maybe two if you're lucky in your life so just think that, they're somehow support and that you don't loose anything talking to them.

Give yourself a good bath, a good cafe, whatever! Try to find hapyness everywhere. I had a very bad year when I couldn't think of more than 2 good things that happened me in one day. After months practising I felt asleep before thinking of all the good things that happened to me. A smile, a nice drawing, a tasty meal, a nice hug, a cool photo, a beautiful sunset, an inspiring song, a thrilling movie, a warm day, a happy dream, a good thought, a good new, a new project, new friend, a kind call, a new scarf, a fluffy cat, whatever! haha. And that's a productive thing because as long as you continue thinking of good things that happen to you, the day after you will find more things.

And this might sound crazy because a lot of people don't "believe" in this kind of remedies but accupuncture can help you with this. Accupuncture can help you almost with everything but this is one of the things. A close person in my family had it for a very very serious depression and it was extremly good. I really think it's even better than taking pills if necessary, seriously, keep that in mind! Good luck and I really hope you start feeling happy :hug:
JK-Kino Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well as a certain other deviant would say, If you would make a thread about it, then you don't really want death. You want attention and support. We'll be happy to help you any way we can. There's no need to pretend to be suicidal. :)
iSell-Adoptables Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
You’re not alone in this.
There is so many people in the world that can relate to what your feeling.
At this point in time I can’t really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion and try to help you in any way possible. I'm sorry that your in so much pain, but just know suicide is not the answer. You were born for a reason, you are beautiful and perfect.

You are just like everyone else - you have secrets. You have a past, and you will have a future.

Just remember, I care.. God cares.
Please, find a reason to live.. YOU deserve it.
You're beautiful, and it hurts me to see what goes on around me - the hurt, the pain, and what we go through to feel accepted.
You're better than that.
Vyel Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't ever commit suicide, It is a sin, and the devil wins because you leave life, God, or whoever you believe in wants you to live. bad things will happen to us in life, but don't get discouraged, don't dwell on things, and don't ever commit suicide. I used to believe there were inferior and undesirable people in life, and I just wanted them to leave earth forever. But now I've seen the light, what you must remember, is that everyone has family and friends that would miss them dearly, if something happened to them. Think of how your mother, father, loved ones, and even boyfriend would greave for you, I know my mom would probably die of a broken heart if something happened to me or my brother. and also remember 2012 was an evil year filled with hardship and catastrophe for millions of people, it was the year the world was supposedly going to end. but it didn't, 2013 is a new beginning, don't flush all your accomplishments you've ever achieved in your lifetime down the toilet, by commiting suicide. I know its sad to lose people you care about, but they wouldn't want you to quit, you must persevere against all odds that will and ever will be thrown at you. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off, You can't let life get you down. That's no way to live, so ignore the whispers of the devil telling you to kill yourself. I've always been told in life, God has a purpose and a plan for each and every one of his children, whatever you want out of life, pray to him and he will do his best to give it to you. You must also remember this, God decides if he thinks something is right for you or not. if it doesn't work out for you, then it wasn't meant to be. So don't put yourself down, you joined Deviantart, where people will help you should you ask for it, and where we are all one big united family, who won't judge you based on your skin, race, creed, religion, marital status, gender, sexual orientation, and anything else, So cheer up, and look for silver linings in life, and remember suicide never helped anyone, because problems don't just disappear because you're gone from existence, they get passed on to those you care about, and who care for you, don't let them suffer under the weights of guilt and burden. Remember all i've said to you and take care friend.
Black-Allison Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
If you feel crappy enough to seek serious help over the internet, then it's time to see a professional. You have to let people who can legitimately help you help you. Try calling the suicide hotline and talking it out with someone.

Also your friends are your friends. If you think you can talk to them go ahead. They're not gonna say I'm too busy to talk to my friend about your problem. Who'd do that?
Official-Lamp Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Killing yourself does you no benefit. There is no release. There is no weight lifted.

That stuff you said about losing friends is tough, and I feel for you, but it's something you need to sort out at your own pace. There is a difference between bottling up your emotions and ignoring them. I don't believe that a person necessarily needs to outpoor their emotions onto another, but one needs to face them and process them. By letting them fester you only keep them closer to you and let them make up your self-identity.

Look your issues straight on, identify them for what they are, and forgive yourself for them. Do not lie. Do not pass blame. Let go of negativity.

Cry if you need to. Bawl your fucking eyes out if you feel it and don't take shit from people saying you're weak for it. Strength isn't the person who feels no emotion, but rather the person who does but carries on.

I'd also recommend taking a serious look at you and your boyfriend's relationship. If fighting is an inevitability, the relationship is poison for both of you.
dragonsangel Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
have you ever tried prayer? try praying for 15 minutes a day. this consists of talking about your desires, feelings, and thoughts, experiences, etc. try it. if you keep it up for a long enough time, it will help you.
wquon Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
i agree, idk about 15 minutes but find a nice quiet place & talk out loud whisper, normal, yell, cry, curse let it our have a real heart to heart with the big guy & ive found he is the best listener, but he sometimes answers u n ways u would least expect. also go out & volunteer somewhere or for somebody maybe even some1 u dont know well, lose yourself in charity & after a while you will feel beter.
MozenrathTheSorcerer Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Suicide Is A Dumb Choice If You Ask Me. It Will Not Help AT ALL. I Remember When I Was Depressed For A LOOOOOOONG Time And Was Even Encouraged Once To Kill Myself. I Didn't Want To Be A Weakling. So, I Looked At The Brighter Side Of Life And Thought About Making New Friends And Totally Having The Ones That Didn't Give A Crap About Me Out Of My Life. Plus, Suicide Would Create More Problems For The Ones That TRULY Care About You. I Don't Think YOU Would Want To Have Them Hurt Too, Right?? :<
ToPaintARose Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student General Artist
Suicide is never an answer, only a catalyst for more pain and suffering. When you die your sadness will multiply and spread to the ones you love, who in tunr may do the same. Please know that there are others, people out there that know your pain and are willing to be with you. I know the feeling of Depression can be drowning, even unbearable at times. But you must not let it make you weak.
As often seen, the most famous people we know have had terrible past. Lives of misery and sorrow. But that is how they became strong, through enduring pain and conforming their bodies and souls to it. They are strong, and it is why others like them who take that pain and let it destroy them end up as wasted lives.
Please do not waste your life. I see you are a photographer so do just that and capture. Take the pain you have and put it into your artwork. Do not kill yourself but put those feeling on paper and share them. Only then will you not feel alone, and those who feel the same way can rise with you.
It starts here in Deviant Art and it continues everywhere. you have the power of the Internet, a powerful tool able to connect you to the world. Share your story, move from the ignorant and find the people who really care. Then together you guys can help each other fight through the pain and transform it.
Transform the pain into strength.

And when all is done, you have me. Don't be afraid to contact me whenever you need through DeviantArt. I have an ear that listens and heart that cares.
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Professional Photographer
Seek help while ur at it

I meant it
Hurricaneclaw Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nobody has a purpose on the planet. Problem solved. Now go out and make new friends, seeing as the ones you have now kinda suck.
Sachi-pon Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
stop bottling things up. that is a problem i see with a lot of people: they are upset because people don't care about their problems, and yet they don't do a good job of telling people all about their problems!

and also, your friend committed suicide... don't follow their example. it doesn't help anyone and only hurts those around you.

and if you are fighting so much with your BF, decide whether or not your relationship is worth continuing. it may not be- it may be something you have to give up and move on from.

i am so sorry that you have gone through this much. i can't do much to help you but i hope you don't give up!! talk to your family, friends, a counselor, doctor, someone.
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
So you were heavily impacted by your friend committing suicide, and want to do the same to your friends?
Disappearing-Inkwell Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
i understand how you feel, last year was hard on me too... but suicide is not the answer.

i had to stop someone who was thinking of committing suicide before, it hurt me to think that she wanted to do it, but we were good friends so i talked her down.

i know i don't know you, but if i did i know we would be friends, mostly because we share some of the same problems. i know i cant be there to help and you have to face this problem alone, so please make the right choice.
Pakaku Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
You're not suicidal, just discouraged.
TheFoxxeh Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Never the answer, and you may need better friends.
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