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January 4, 2013
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
help. I hate melt downs because every time I get closer to suicide n last time I got lucky. I can always tell when another one is coming and its right around the corner. I'm scared. When I break down I cry I scream I hear voices I have hallucinations I literally fall apart. Last time my parents found out and took my scissors away and hid all the knives so I wouldn't cut myself. They also took me to a mental hospital and it was scary.

I cant take life I hats and love it at the same time but right now I feel lost and alone and I keep lashing out at myself n at my closest friends. I hate it n it wont stop until the melt down ends. I don't want to live if this how my life is going to be. I want a family one day but if I cant handle pain n stress without a melt down then maybe I'm not suppose to live.

The worse part is is that my parents are sending me to all these doctors but I don't feel like anyone can see how badly its getting. My friends think I'm happy because I pretend so they wont worry. But I'm not happy.

I just want to cry and someone to talk to. I want to know I'm not alone. Is there any way I can get rid of my break downs?
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:iconeldingagunman:
EldingaGunman Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
I had your exact troubles. Still get 'em when I handle my diet poorly. I'd get these episodes where I was halfway stuck in another world where people burned and voices screamed, and there was no way for me to get into either one to get some god damn consistency in my own mind. I honestly recommend the paleo diet. Getting sugar out of your grub helps. It really, really does.
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Interface Designer
as much as i hate the word diet mainly because of my acid reflux that makes sense and i'll try that thank you.
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:iconeldingagunman:
EldingaGunman Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Not really a 'diet' in the crash-diet sense. Most people call it a lifestyle. It is a LCHF diet that doesn't 'count calories', and it shouldn't trigger your acid reflux. There's a bunch of websites and forums that offer information about this, and topics about the effects on mental health. Give me a shout if you need any help.
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Student Interface Designer
Okay thanks!
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:iconpakuns:
pakuns Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
if your here i want you to read and respond. i t might sound strange but i want you to think of what hurts you so much. then let out any tears you have. next i want you write about all the dreams you have. after that if you believe in god i want you to pray. if you don;t pray anyway. after that think of everyone who cares about you. then write to me and promise me you'll live no matter what the circumstance
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
I feel like I've done that before...
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:iconpakuns:
pakuns Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
do it again
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
but I'll try
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:iconpitluver-47:
PitLuver-47 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Try to calm yourself down. If you start getting a meltdown, get up and start to walk around the house or go outside. You can also draw/scribble to get things off your mind. Another thing is that you can start drinking tea to relax your mind. Try talking it out with your counselor/parents or friends without trying to make yourself angry.
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:iconlost-irken:
Lost-Irken Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
dont kill yourself. write a poem instead.
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
i already have ive done every thin my counselor told me to do when I feel like this. :(
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:iconlost-irken:
Lost-Irken Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh that sucks...umm...TAKE A NAP!
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
I can't sleep D:
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:iconlost-irken:
Lost-Irken Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that REALLY sucks...
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
*hugs*
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:iconlost-irken:
Lost-Irken Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*hugs back*
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
see I used to solve my melt down problems by self harm...then by sex...now nothing...I NEED PAIN!!! *curls up in corner*
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(1 Reply)
:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Are you taking any medication currently? Are you going to therapy?
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
Last time I was taking 54 Mg of concerta for my a.d.d. and they realized I was being overdosed now I'm taking 27 Mg. I am seeing a counselor n a doctor. But I don't feel like its making a difference.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Then you may need a different medication and a different therapist.
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
I don't think it really matters part of my stress problems is coming from all these doctors. I feel like a lab rat, a puny rat that is being experimented on so much that i can't think straight.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
So you’re saying you think you don’t need therapy at all? Or that you don’t need medication. You could be right about the meds. But just based on what you’re saying here, I think it would be a mistake to discontinue therapy. From having working in the psych unit before, I can tell you that often the experience of just being there appears to be traumatic for some people, especially the pediatric patients.
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:iconttfnjinx:
TTFNJinx Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Interface Designer
I understand but the therapists is not helping right now, she's just a person to talk to but I don't think she can hear me.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Then she isn’t serving her purpose. You need someone else.

I encounter this a lot. Patients don’t realize that when it comes to therapists, they are entitled to some degree of customer satisfaction. If you went to a restaurant and ordered something and didn’t like it, would you keep going back and ordering it again and again, in the hope that it would eventually taste good? No. Sometimes finding the right therapist is a chore. But it is worth it in the long run.
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