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January 4, 2013
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Being discriminated against by teachers and classmates

:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
As the title says, I'm being discriminated against by my teachers and classmates. No I'm not just nagging about this, I'm actually serious. Let me explain.

I'm a student in the Netherlands. I grew up here, have a Dutch passport and Dutch father, but because my mother is Indonesian I don't look Dutch, with my black hair and slightly tinted skin. I've never really been discriminated against based on race, because I live in the city. Usually in city's there are more "foreign" people, so people are used to different faces.
This study course I'm in right now, even though I'm in a city, most of my classmates come from smaller towns and villages. Which is no problem (since I have some friends from towns like those), but these classmates of mine are different. Also I'm (besides one other person) the only one with exotic blood.

The first I'll explain are my classmates:

It started off with my classmates acting weird around me. Which I didn't mind at first. When they came up to me with questions like "where are you from?" I would kindly explain that I'm half Indonesian, half Dutch. They'd just nod and that was it.
Though there were other people who asked more assuming questions like "are you Chinese or Japanese?" which got me by surprise, because believe me... I do not look Chinese... by far. Deciding to troll some of these people (since I thought there were joking with me) I would respond I'm Korean... after which I'd have to show them where Korea is located on the map... after which this person thought I was from the North....... (yea this one person in my class is really special).
During the second year of the study some classmates would still come to me with the question of what my background is. Asking "are you adopted?" and "what language do you speak?". The awkward thing is that they asked me this during second year. I have 16 classmates, so the fact that they didn't ask until second year surprised me, especially the fact that they already assumed I was adopted.

Besides this awkwardness concerning my family background, there was also an awkwardness in how they treated me. I had trouble finding a partner for the many group assignments. Some people talked louder to me than they did to others. Whenever they would go out to eat and invite me, they'd choose a Chinese restaurant and ask me of how live "there" is (which is a ridiculous question, considering I already told them I'm not Chinese and I've never been to China). Also holding onto the standard "Asian jokes" eventually got painful to listen to.
They also eventually stopped giving me information about classes I missed due to illness, so I started attending every class even with a 39 C fever, or right after my cousin died in a car accident. My classmates never help me with anything, even when I ask them to they always seem to forget about it. And I barely ever ask for any sort of help. When we work together on group assignments it's mostly me making everything while they study for their exams. Meaning I usually have to resit my exams, because I was too busy making those group reports.


The next problem is the teachers:

Dear God... If it were just my classmates being this weird to me, then that would be O.K. But the teachers are even worse. Especially this one teacher who purposely lowers my grades. And the worst part is that I can't complain about it, because this teacher is in every possible school-board! She just really hates me to the core. I only have my intuition and a point of view from another classmate (one who did accept me), but he already quit the study. The other teachers don't seem very keen on going against the hateful teacher, so I'm stuck in a very difficult situation where I have my classmates against me and the people in higher powers.

Right now I'm an intern. And my supervisor.... no way... she does the same. But she's meaner. She made me work 20 extra hours, because she said she needed more reference material to give me a grade for my internship. I'm studying to become a teacher, and 30 minutes before I have to teach a class, she reminds me of what is at stake. If I don't pass my internship I will have to redo it next year, also paying for the college fee. It's so scary and it adds to the stress like crazy.
This woman also talks to me extra loud, repeats everything she said at least 4 times (which she doesn't do to people who are "white") and she keeps on bringing up how much I fail at teaching. Which is ridiculous, because at my past two internships I passed with extremely high grades, so I KNOW I'm not a bad teacher. Yet she keeps on emphasizing this and telling me that she won't let me pass this year.

I've been going through this for two and a half years. Two and a half years I have been beating myself up about it, thinking it must be my fault somehow, but I'm at a loss. I tried to change myself in every way possible, but nothing seems to make them accept me. I don't mind if they hate me personally, but I don't want it to stand in my way of getting my teachers' degree. So getting along would be a good thing. I've been secretly fighting signs of boulimia and anorexia, I've been looking up information on sleeping pills, I've thought of just quitting this study and go somewhere else, but that won't do because of my financial status. So I'm stuck here. And I have to finish this study. And I want to be a teacher, I love the job.

I'm just in a pickle and I need help on how to deal with this.... If you have anything to say about this story I'll be glad and thankful...
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Devious Comments

:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hey fellow part Dutchie! Sorry to hear you've to deal with that crap.
Is the place where you're studying part of a chain of schools? If it is and it has other locations under the same name, maybe you could transfer? I've even seen people switch to completely different school chains and not have to start over. The new place would usually do all the arranging for them too since they're happy to get the new student (and their money). Can't hurt to look around, make some calls and ask. :)

There's also the option of going to the school board or even higher up to try and expose them, like others have mentioned but yeah, I can totally understand that that's not a can of worms everyone would care to open up and deal with. The experience would likely be much worse if they end up doing nothing and you're stuck with the same people after that.
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:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
*had to
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:icondeyja-morte:
deyja-morte Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
wow, i seriously don't get it. i'm a country bumpkin but we don't even have that here.
and you were allways nice to me while i was still studying with you. hell you introduced me to gintama xD

i can't really give you any usefull advice that hasn't been given allready so, i just wish you the best of luck and hope things will be better for you soon.
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:iconidnidveifencetum:
IdNiDveifencetum Featured By Owner Jan 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Don't let anything bring you down. Never give up.
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:icontuftedpuffin:
tuftedpuffin Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013
Come to Canada. Anybody who is not white has more rights than those who are.
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:iconthenaughticallife:
TheNAUGHTicalLife Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Professional Writer
You sound like my friend Scott. [link]
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:icontuftedpuffin:
tuftedpuffin Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013
Oh do I now? I was simply suggesting I can relate to being discriminated against in ones own country. It is for different reasons, but still...
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:iconnaruto-ii:
Naruto-II Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Bij mij op de studie zijn er een aantal commissies die de rechten van studenten waarborgen. Als je een probleem hebt met een docent, dan zou ik bijvoorbeeld naar de onderwijscommissie kunnen stappen. Als het probleem ligt bij een docent die IN zo'n commissie zit zou ik eerst één van de andere leden individueel benaderen. Bij voorkeur de voorzitter van het studentendeel van de commissie. Ook voor problemen kun je bij die commissie terecht. Daarnaast zou je contact op kunnen nemen met een studieadviseur.

Ik kan niet zeggen dat ik ooit zelf zoiets als dit heb meegemaakt, maar ik leef met je mee. Je opleiding moet je af maken! Geef niet op!

Tot slot kunnen ze je misschien hier helpen: [link]
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:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Biometrical discrimination is rather unenlightened. It means that the thugs of a race are worth more than the royal bloodline of another. That is just absurd. I could explain it in depth, but that wouldn't do any good for your situation. All I can give is my sincere compassion. :cling:
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks :)
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:iconnarkya:
Narkya Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Isn't there an anti-discrimination board somewhere that is being funded by the government? We have that kind of thing in Germany, they are usually funded by the city and everybody can go there to complain. It usually does something (I don't know, here it was in the newspapers because lots of foreignish looking people wouldn't be allowed to enter discos and they complained) to solve the problem.

Anyway, you get a hug!
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:iconabsolutesnichts:
AbsolutesNichts Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i'm sorry to hear all that and unfortunately i can't help you in any way (greetings from Germany, neighbour :P)
but what i DO know is that you should never give up on becoming teacher.
You know, you could make it better then them.
Become a great teacher and try to Change things, you have come so far now - even if you will decide to leave this Country.
Try to help others with the same Problems.

i wish you all the best on your way!
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:iconlahcat:
LahCat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist
ugh i hate when a teacher hates me, in grade 6 (2012) we had a science teacher that known with kindness, and that teacher loves every one that is from her country (locals) and i was not a local, and most of my friends are not.. she used to treat me like a peace of shit even if i am better even than her in science even when i say a new important information she just simply say: WRONG, even i had the highest marks in science but she still hates me and say that i don't study good and don't focus and blah blah she even says that to my mother -_- , any way because she choked because i had the highest science marks, higher than other grades 6, maybe she got her brain back and now.. she is stuck on me, she "loves" me O.o ugh.. teachers lose their minds sometimes..

and in grade 5 (and because my grandmother is Spanish) they used to sit around me and ask me silly questions.. and laugh on me (because i was like SO different for them) but i always make them shut up because of "my epic replys :D" even teachers thought i was so different just cuz my grandmother was Spanish -_- but i never minded for them a lot :)

so any way if people are trying to let you down, then know that you are higher than them, and about the teachers, never mind for them, because some of them are bad, and some of them will always be happy cuz they are good teachers, so just get away from that idiot teacher ;)
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:iconcoolkitty252:
coolkitty252 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
i'm sorry to hear about your situation as i have never been to Holland i can't say that i can really explain myself. i have been through bullying and i know its horrible but there are multiple options available to you even with your finantial state.universities in Britain absolutely LOVE international students and there is no discrimination here. also study loans are available. just saying :D. i hope you find your solution and become an amazing teacher :)
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:iconbullet-magnet:
Bullet-Magnet Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Hulk out. Go full, mean green Hulk. I can hook you up with the gamma power needed. They're only puny humans. Smash them.
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:iconlahcat:
LahCat Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist
really, this is the best basic answer i've ever seen
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Get a few lawyers and throw'em like grenades at the school.
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:iconsachi-pon:
Sachi-pon Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i don't live in the netherlands, i live in the US. i have no idea what laws are like there but in the US, there are non-discrimination laws at most schools. schools have a policy to treat people equally regardless of race/ethnicity and other demographic factors, so if there is discrimination, you can file a complaint or lawsuit or something. (i don't know exactly how it works but yeah) so there is nothing like that at your school, no laws/policies or anything? because you can defend yourself if you can prove that teachers are breaking policy.

if not, maybe you can go to another school by applying for some kind of financial aid.

i hope you are able to solve this problem, i feel really sorry for you! :hug:
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
Hi, I know the level of the discrimination in Holland, especially at schools. I actually have a black friend with two black children, and she was harassed so much (at home) and her kids had so much difficulties at school, she had to move. She still can't get rid of the harassment and discrimination. Her children are growing up with severe problems.

And I know those "questions" as well. One of my black friends (another one) has been suddenly cut off from the social aid (she was receiving it due to sickness) she has been receiving for 12 years and got sued by the government. The whole problem was that the tax office had lost a document really, which she found her own copy of it later and everything was solved. But DURING the investigation (took a whole year) oh man, the things she had gone trough. They interrogated her at the police station for a whole day, asking her again and again where she was from, where her parents are from, where her parents parents are from (she was adopted so all her family line is actually Dutch) and every time she said "Dutch" they would say she was lying and threathen her and start all over again etc.

I mean what kind of country would have a "black school" thing?? I still don't get this. There are Catholic Schools, Protestan Schools etc. and than there are these "mixed schools". How are the children who are in there supposed to feel? And their friends from other schools? The discrimination is being taught from very early age.

Racism in Europe is actually very well rooted. I have heard similar stories from the Turkish people living in Germany, that they would be harassed at their homes, people would hide behind their gardens and wait until they come out into their garden etc. The women are seen as prostitues and hence rape and kidnappings. And therefore probably not many of you know, but the recent "executions" and the burnings. They have burned countless Turkish apartments and neighborhoods.

Actually when you look at the colonist Dutch history you pretty much understand the racism. Just 25 years ago the Dutch police have shot out in the open 400+ African school children just because they were protesting. The 400 Dutch police in Kosovo are said to have been letting the massacre of the Muslims while they were stationed there and the investigation and the courts are still going on. I dont even have to tell you the horror they have subjected to people in South Africa and other colonies, as well as Indonesia and Suriname. Also remember that the have shipped the first slave shipment to USA, 1 million Africans, and half of these died on the way.

I am not saying these to discredit Holland. I just want to explain you that discrimination is rooted in the Dutch culture that comes from recent and earlier history. Even today any Dutch person will tell you that all of the crime and negativity comes from the foreigners in their country, while actually all of the gangs and dominant criminal organizations in Holland are Dutch. This is why the intellectual sagment of the Dutch society felt the need to protect the victims of discrimination by law very strictly. If you can prove in any way that your teachers or pretty much just anyone have been discriminating you, you can report them to the anti discriminatie bureaus and similar organizations. Also social lawyers helps a lot too.

Or you can do what every educated Dutch youth has done in the recent years and just immigrate to a more logical country. It's brain immigration, but too bad.
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Yea.. If you look at the history it's not any good. But I mean, besides the obvious I also have made a lot of friends here. But yea, the last thing you said is what I want to do. Actually, many of my Dutch friends want to get away from this place too. Once I get my degree I want to get my master of teaching degree and head abroad. To teach in schools in developing countries for local pay. That's what I want to do.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
I could write a book about this subject lol. But yeah, world is big.
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
haha! :P true.
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:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
Endeavor-To-Freefall Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
While I can't give you any advice, I've never experienced that sort of discrimination in the UK neither have any of my friends that I know of. I do know that teaching is a vastly stressful career and that your ability to deal with this problem will ultimately be beneficial later in life, the path of most resistance will give you the greatest strength and that will certainly put you in a perfect position to handle teaching. It's a shame that it's happening, I find it difficult to really imagine because it would never be a problem here but there is at least some silver lining to it all. Like I said, I can't give any advice, but I at least hope you can see my point, and possibly use it in your own way.
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That's true. This will be very beneficial in later life. I did learn how to deal with these people and how to deal with stress.

Thanks :)
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:iconperzikhoofd:
Perzikhoofd Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Hi there fellow dutchy :)

Your story was very painful to read. It must be so stressful to live your life like that... I'm only 25% dutch (50% english and 25% hungarian) but I have a white skin. Luckily I don't look like an east european at all. Well, you know how polish people and 'east european' are treated over here. Anyway, I'm not really sure what you should do, except just stay yourself. Don't let any of those horrible people change who you are. You are great just like you are, tinted or white skin. It's enormously short sighted of them all to judge you on the color of your skin. If you really can't take it anymore.. I suggest you change schools, but that's not any fun either.

I hope you're doing well and finding your inner strenght while dealing with this. :hug:
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh yea.. NL is just one big happy party with Geert Wilders. *sarcasm* :P en zijn Polenmeldpunt... Echt.. no offense against Dutchies, but my classmates and teachers are just "special cases" as I dub them. I mean, I had to explain a classmate that Asia is a continent, and not a country. Which gave me the idea 'well, okay.. these guys are just completely oblivious of the world around them'. I have many Dutch friends, but they all grew up open minded and eager to travel the world. Or at least eager to learn about the world. But these people I met during my study are the exact opposite.

Anyway, bedankt voor je comment. :)
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:iconperzikhoofd:
Perzikhoofd Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg I can't imagine what your life is like when you think Asia is a country :D It's good to hear you have open minded dutch friends though, probably makes life a lot easier :)

The pleasure is mine!
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:iconbetweenskill:
BetweenSkill Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Come to the US. We might have our fair share of issues, but there are plenty of colleges, schools, universities to get a degree at that are not like that. Or if there are, then there is more to just choose another.

But I'm sorry about that. I've never been picked on for race (I'm whiter then sour cream), but I've been through bullying my whole life.

Keep your head held high. Just know that you DO know what you do, and other people cannot decide that for you. Remember that you are the better person, since you aren't being involved in stuff like that. Stay strong
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Haha, sour cream :P but yea.. bullying, for whatever reason (be it racism or whatever), is just unacceptable. Especially if it's by grown ups. I mean... my classmates are all aged between 20 and 27, while my teachers are aged between 30 and 50.. I was thinking about studying abroad, but it's so expensive (especially US). I'd have to work 6 jobs just to pay for my college fees XD
But yea.. thanks for your comment. Thanks to everyone's comments I can smile a bit now. :) Knowing that I'm going to get out of this stronger than before.
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:iconmeowsap:
meowsap Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm sorry to hear how poorly you are being treated. It's so insensitive, to say the least.... :(

As difficult as it is, you need to forgive them - this will bring *healing* for you, and it will catch them off guard. It may make some of them attack you more, but then, you might find that some of them realize what they have done has hurt you. I know forgiving is immensely difficult, especially when people do not deserve it. But it can be the most amazing freedom!

I actually just finished my studies to become a teacher myself. And I know it's immensely stressful without the supervisor reprimanding you. :( But keep going and do the best you can. You'll become a stronger person - and you will become more compassionate for your future students who are going through similar things.

I will be praying for your situation. :heart: Much love!
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for your encouraging words. I need them. And yes, even though it's hard, I did forgive my classmates for well... not knowing how to deal with me. Simply because they've never met someone like me before. But I just still can't find it in me to forgive my teachers and my supervisor. They're nearing the ages of 40 and 50. They've lived in the city for a long time, so there's no excuse. And besides me, my supervisor also frauds her pupil's grades. I've seen her doing it. So she's just someone I can't bring myself to forgive.
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:iconmeowsap:
meowsap Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It is really disheartening when we expect someone should be able to act more mature and more honorably. :( We tend to have higher expectations for those in authority like that, because they are in a position that should portray integrity and honor. Its sad when they choose to act so unfairly.

You might not be able to change what they are doing, but you can do what is right yourself. And by forgiving the wrongs of your teachers, it is helping you, and perhaps it may ultimately help them to learn to do what is right.

:hug: Hang in there!
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:iconsalita18:
Salita18 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Edit: to give you an idea of what the stress did to me: I went from a clothing size 36 to a size 32 in just half a year.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
36 to 32, does that mean you're shrinking?
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