I don't know how old you are obviously but it sounds to me you're a lot more mature than the rest of the people in your age category. This is by no means a bad thing, really I have exactly the same thing going on. Except well, I'm a dude haha. You know the ways of the world better than most of the people your age, and that is a good thing. The big problem is, or so I believe, is that a LOT of children get everything thrown into their lap by their parents, and thus the ''child'' in them stays there an awful lot longer than say someone who had to sort things out for him/herself. They just don't understand, and that's no problem. Don't feel like a loner either, because trust me I could be the first to tell you it is very hard to find people that resonate well with your mentality. Heads up and be proud!
A bit much of a rant, but as I started there was no stopping me, haha.
My thought on this is that you shouldn't be so concerned with what others do or don't do. Regardless of what they do, it's best to not focus on the faults and shortcomings of others. God says that we should be kind to others, forgiving them if they do something that's wrong. At the end of the day it doesn't matter what they do or don't do - all that matters is that you're happy with your own actions and who you are. Forgive them and do everything you can to get along with them.
"And be kind to one another, full of pity, having forgiveness for one another, even as God in Christ had forgiveness for you." Eph 4:32
"If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Rom 12:18
Having a mature personality is not how much you judge the people around you, it's having an understanding that comes with age and/or experience.
I'm not exactly sure where you are getting at with this post, but it sounds like a form of compensation. You said it yourself, that you feel like a loner. When someone is the outsider looking in, it's not too uncommon to justify it. Heck it's very common to antagonize others while doing so.
So when I say that you are envious, I don't mean anything bad by it... I think that you are having a hard time finding a place in life at the moment. My advice is let them be who they are and don't worry about it.
I can relate, and I was homeschooled. I don't feel comfortable around people like that; I retreated into geekery and have a small cadre of friends who share my interests. And there's nothing wrong with that.
There's also nothing wrong with holding yourself to a higher standard. You are you, and don't let anyone make you feel bad for that. You're still young, and have a whole lifetime ahead of you to make friendships. The difference between you and those other kids is, you're looking for quality, not quantity.
People mature at different rates and are interested in different things at different times in their lives - none of it is right or wrong, it's just individual variances. If you think about school, you're basically stuck in a building with a limit number of people every day. You don't have a massive choice of friends and are kind of expected to have things in common with people simply because you're of a similar age, which is ridiculous when you think about it! I know it probably doesn't help right now, but there will be times later in your life (and sooner than you think) when you'll get to meet a lot more people who you can genuinely connect with. Until then, focus on the people and things that make you happy
Welcome to yourself. I can tell you that I can somehow understand you. I grew up in a little school full of bad people. I had to hear all srots of jokes, comments... I had to deal with people that seemed to be 5 years younger than me and well, what doesn't kill you make you stronger haha, but I think the main thing is, don't loose yourself. I have been in the situation when you start looking at all those girls only living to flirt and go out with "boyfriends" and you think how immature and stupid it is. Then when you're a bit older you think that, maybe it's you the problem, maybe it's you that always lived like a more mature person and now fell like you didn't really experimented everything. And then's when you can loose yourself. I personally never had boyfriend but, I really never wanted to, even though, as everyone, I like boys but, I might like the look in the outside, they seem to have nothing interesting for me in the inside. And I could see that clrearly when a boy almost 8 years older than me fell in love with me. Yeah crazy, I couldn't even believe it in that moment but then I realised a lot of things. Don't get me wrong, I suffered a lot and I'm just commenting it and I had those days when you think nobody looooooves you haha. But I think you shouldn't care about that. Try to be social with the people you like and try to understand the others, that way I'm sure you will be happy as I am right now ^^
I feel you. I come from a public school but its the same way. I judge guys on personality. If I don't like the way they act then being cute wont do em any good. I "baby sit " a freshman who is a very I -need -attention baby n she "dates " supposedly a new guy every week. I'm hoping some of my maturity will rub off on her.
Truth is you n I have a lot in common. Ive had guys annoy me trying to get me to lose my virginity n ill say this I ain't doing it with no snooty preppy good looking foot ball playing jerk. Its hard to find good guys by judging looks. No matter what situation it is. Being open minded is the best way to find friends.
I had a friend who had gone to a catholic school for her High School years. She would tell me stories on what had gone on there. More or less a bunch of rich kids went there. Not everyone was bad or anything but for the most part they had there "Groups". If you weren't in a certain category you were pretty much outcasted. She was a Lutheran going to a Catholic School which apparently is as bad as a atheist going to a Catholic school. Man there was a lot of crazy stories.
My advice stick to "Who You Are" don't let the crowd change you. You will more than likely regret it later.
Hail brutal honesty. If I thought I was superior/mature then I would put this on the complaints forum. (no intimidation or sarcasm was put into that, kay?) Yes, I am an insecure bitchy little teenager you probably happen to despise. So sorry you have to see this thread if you see me as such. But thank you, I somehow deserved that huge slap-back in the face and the fact that you cared enough to reply. ^^
The reason I replied is that I was like you once. And then I realized that thinking I was somehow better than my classmates because I didn't talk about sex or the new stupid fads 100% of the time was a waste of my time and energy, and I found friends that I got along with and stopped giving a shit about everyone else. It's not really fair for you to judge their lives when you don't really know that much about them, and it's not fair for you to waste your time worrying about them.
Thanks. That was a huge slap to my face, but it was nescessary. I don't really not flirt and stuff. I've had my crushes. They were nice, I threw a bitch-rage when they found another girl, moved on. I still have a crush, not throwing a bitch-rage so far. So thank you for choosing "overly introverted self conscious bastard" to be my label. I appreciate your honesty.
I wouldn't say overly introverted self conscious bastard. You're obviously not interested in doing the same things as they are/feel like you don't fit in and that's fine. But your post came off as though you think you're better than they are, which you aren't, you're just in to different things. It doesn't make you a bastard but it doesn't make you mature.
Sorry, I tend to give off the wrong messages. I just feel really bad/left out because I want to be alone when they always encourage me to not be. I have friends, of course. I would never want to think myself as better. That would really shame me for my entire life. Thank you for your opinion, by the way.
you know, I had (and still have) the exact same problem in my current school- I'm in a catholic school as a transferee. To make things worse, I had anxiety problems and I don't exactly think as mature as any 15 year old (everyone had to adjust to me) so I was culture-shocked, afraid, depressed, bullied, and everyone was intimidated by a smart loner like me too (I don't mean to brag, but the valedictorian stabbed me too). And you know what I did? I decided to drop all that sh*t and went to the guidance counselors (try it and it will save your life in a place like that, trust me. They aren't just there for detention, you know).
when I did, they made me learn one thing: that up there and the rest of the bombardment in the next weeks to come is just the tip of the iceberg to what actually lies ahead once you graduate high school and go to college and even start a new life afterwards- and it never ends. I know lipstick- covered duckfaces with pretty mascara lashes and boys who turn you into fools is something to be annoyed of, but it's not you- it's them. If they knew you were annoyed by that, here's what they'll say: who the F*ck do you think you are to mess with me? You're not me and I don't give a F*ck about you (true story). care about what you think of yourself and worry about how others think of themselves. never care about how others think of you.
To be honest, worrying about swearing in public and being annoyed by flirts should actually be the least of your problems. Everyone swears and it comes naturally. It is bad, but you can never be too good. Okay what if someone told you 'Gago, puneta kang hayop ka!' in front of your face to amuse you (you know, barkadas do that for their own amusement and now I know why)? would you cry? would you burst in anger? College students do that a lot- and everyone has to go through college to get a better life. It's cruel but...it's life!
Try to focus on yourself and try not to be too self-conscious: it won't help. In my opinion after all the sh*t I've been through in that school, these are just obstacles that's meant to polish you in the years to come, just like what it's currently doing to me.
Hehe... I hear swears all the time. Whether it's a playful "putsang ama mo!" or a F*ck everywhere because of a problem when I don't even give a damn about it. Actually, I sit next to the former "top 1" of our class(which I beat) and he's... he's a magnificent yet boisterous little prick. Sometimes I even go to the point when I think intelligence is a curse. Like I could just live life believing lies and not knowing the real nature of the world. I was actually 'confessed' my sins (being a Catholic school) with my other classmates. After my turn, I was alone in a church begging for forgiveness (in my thoughts) while crying. Nobody saw it, of course. The actual difficulty is that many people don't like my "I don't give a damn about all of you" personality. It's quite true, but they just force me to break out of it. When they only make me feel like a lonely bastard with their fake eagerness to talk with me. But thanks, to write that long when I've suddenly become all dramatic and emotional. I wish you the best of luck.
Not too mature but prematurely matured, as we say in my country. If your world views are directing you to a lifestyle that doesnt put sex in the priority, than stop caring about what others do and live your life with this ideology that you see fit. Your peers probably have been put there against their instinctive choices. Most kids are. But if you want to get into this kind of stuff, than go ahead. Do what your immature friends do. Also at young ages one year older or younger doesnt define maturity. Some "older" age might be under heavier hormonal overdose while one age younger doesnt feel that way. And generally prioritizing sex or looks is not a sign of immaturity either. Its just difference in taste. Except that one taste makes up a billion trillion worth market that objectifies women, and its followers are victims of heavy capitalism, but again, its still a matter of tasteÁ
Yeah... everyone has different taste. I prioritize romance too in some point. But most of the time, I'm heading for grades. By the way, thanks. Not only did you even care enough to share your opinion, you also taught me the correct term (prematurely matured.
Ah no problem. By the way sorry, I thought you were asking prioritizing between romance and sex, not between romance and grades. Than I have to say this: grades and success can be fixed later in life. Most of the time success and worldly grip comes later in life anyway, regardless of success at youth. But the romance-wise maturity can not be fixed later. And this maturity only comes trough bad experiences with romance. If you don't go trough this at an early age, you will definitely have to live certain things in a twisted way later in your life. I say this from observation. Sorry for the know-all attitude, I just seem to have forgotten English
"She feels like a criticizing bitter person because she doesn't like the people in her school. But being her, she somehow believes she's right and not a 'criticizing bitter person'." Typical teenage angst and insecurities, amirite? Thanks for even looking at this forum, by the way.
Don't worry, I feel like that a lot too. I don't like most of the people in my school, or even the ones in my friendship group. I'm just waiting until I can go to university and hopefully meet more people and have nicer friends. ^_^ Until then, maybe you should try some activities out of school, where you can meet more people who have similar interests to you.
Does it matter if you're more mature or not? Maybe you are or maybe you just haven't developed to the stage they have where they're experimenting with new things and feeling new stuff, like all teenagers do. It doesn't really matter either way, though; you are who you are.
Meh, I'm too self-conscious, I guess. I just don't feel like saying "sh*t" all the time and chat about 1D and love before sleep. I know I'm me but being me, I almost always consider what I am to others so I can choose my actions carefully. But yes, maturity isn't a nescessity. In fact, I like my friends being insane and childish. So thank you, sir or madam, for being a darling by teaching me something tonight.
I curse like a sailor and generally prioritise going out and dating over coursework. Guess in that way I'm immature. But I'm also capable of living alone, balancing all my responsibilities and generally behaving like a functioning member of society, so in that way I'm more mature than a lot of people my own age. It's all a mixture.
I don't think you need to worry about how others see you as long as you're respectful of their mindsets and they return the favour.
Sorry, I didn't mean anyone who swears is immature. Though I'm pretty darn sure they get the money they waste on 'love' from their parents. But lots of them are filthy rich so I probably shouldn't care. Thank you ~Avenvia! You made my day.