I used to be very awkward also, in fact . . . I still am. Over the years as I have done more things it has gotten better, but I still have my nervousness. The best advice I have, is never let your nerves stop you from doing something you really want to do, that way you have one less thing to be nervous about. Doing the things I want to do anyway has helped me out the most.
I know exactly what I mean, in fact, I sometimes still have this problem. But now, everytime I look in the mirror, instead of pointing out flaws, I try to tell myself I am beautiful, or pretty or whatever. I guess it does work, I am accepting myself gradually. You should try it. Also, try and remember there are tons of other people in the same position as you, it will get better, I promise. Besides, everyone likes an awkward person;3
I know exactly how you feel. I've been through this as well. What helped me a lot, was the sheer realization that people don't look at you the way you look at yourself. You're far too self conscious about your looks. Other people won't look at you that way. They probably won't even notice you. And even when you do something extremely stupid, they'll forget after a day of 2. Furthermore... why would you bother about what strangers think about you? You see them once. You never see them again... so why would you care at all? It's just a waste of your energy. If you want to focus on people, focus on those who love you instead. It'll make you a happier person
I'm just obsessed with making the wrong first impression but then again like you said I won't ever see these strangers again, so why stress over it? My logic is idiotic sometimes. I'm getting better, and I've been interacting with more people and it's made me feel a lot better
You should just stop thinking about "yourself" when you're around people. I think the problem is that you're very self-conscious of how you look, what you do and what might be wrong with you when you're around people. Occupy your mind with something else when you're around people. Don't think about how you look, what you do, what they might think - just think about something else intentionally. You are what you think remember - if you're thinking about how you look and what others think when you're around them - it'll definitely reflect in your actions. The Bible states that we should intentionally think of positive things:
"Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Philippians 4:8
So, just start thinking about other things when you're around people. It'll be difficult at first because you're used to thinking the way you do, but it'll get easier as you continue to do it. If you can't think of anything good to think about, just know that you love art - so occupy your mind with your projects
With regards to not knowing who you are - I'm sure I might be able to help you with that. You see, God made you with a certain idea in mind - He placed every part and characteristic you have in place for a certain purpose - you see, we all have a purpose in life. You can read my testimony here if you want [link] I basically had the same problem of not knowing who I am, and not having any purpose - God can help you with that.
But remember to watch your thoughts - it's the only thing you have to change to get rid of this
"For as he (a man) thinks in his heart, so is he." Proverbs 23:7
You have to get over yourself. Seriously. I did it myself. Figure out who you want to be, and be that person. Your own willpower will get you wherever you need to go. No one can make you "feel" ugly... You're in charge of yourself. And yeah, there will always be people out there who find you unattractive. Everyone has different tastes. I have good confidence and think I'm very good-looking, and I accept that not everyone else is gonna think so.
Yes, I definitely do. I've noticed since I've posted this that I've been starting little by little and seeing improvements. My sister is there for me as well and I can look into a mirror, be happy with what I see and I can go out without shying away from strangers and their thoughts. Thanks for responding.
If you think it well, we are all awkward, we are all different, we are all special, I think you must be so special if you have the courage to write this here, and I'm sure you are so smart and friendly. Be happy with yourself, because if you don't no one can be happy with you. We are all beautiful at our own way.
Who are the people you act most comfortable and normal around? think about how you act with them and how you feel and try to replicate that feeling around other people as much as possible. Speak your mind. Almost just talk as you think. Some people might love to engage into what your saying.
The people I act the most comfortable with are the people I can relate to and have common interests with, and those times I'm smiling and engaging in conversation, around others I'm not comfortable with I slouch, stay by myself, and just tend to become a people watcher, (and that's just if I'm pretty comfortable in the class) I will speak if spoken to and make a few jokes but after that I go back to silence
How old are you? because you kind of used to sound like me. If you like being a people watcher maybe get into a psychology class and understand how people think and talk to others or your teacher about what you think. Sociology class as well is a good class. In fact I recently took that class and found it very interesting to have a little talk with other people about this stuff.
What i try doing is to get into a conversation i know i am familiar with, so i can just speak naturally.
Newly 14, and my dad told me I could possibly have a future in psychology, because I've expressed my interest in human evolution and emotion but though I don't see myself going down that path I'm remaining open minded The best thing is a conversation you can join with your own input ^.^
Yeah you were probably exactly like me lol Anyways being open minded is a great thing. When you just meet that type of person who is just totally easy to talk to I feel like you can gradually get better at meeting new people and such. I still sometimes feel like i have nothing to say, but I don't mind it because I know i have to be in the mood and the right person to talk.
So do you see yourself going down a certain path right now?
Lol I believe I have met that person in my school but my best friend will always be the easiest person to talk to. I agree with your last sentence completely! And I'm trying (keyword: trying) to draw more but if I'm being completely honest with myself I don't know where I see myself, art has just excited me the most from a younger age and I can't see myself in another career in a different field. There is always that cloud of dread telling me I'll just become a nurse or doctor like my family wishes >.< which I'd hate, I always thought choosing a career was about doing what you love that makes you money I just fear of not making anything of my career choice..
The person I can almost always talk to is my sister. I am so happy we aren't just sisters. I have the same fear. I was just wondering if I would just become what my parents want and what gives me a living. Fortunately, I still have some hope and opportunities and I am counting on stuff working out.
Me, too, my sister is my role model (sometimes I think it makes my mom jealous). It's a frightening thought to see myself working in a hospital, not that I don't like helping people, it's not that but I just don't think it's for me. But then again I can smile if I think about contributing to visual effects in a movie, or having photoshop open on my laptop and scribbling away on a wacom tablet, or even sketching a small drawing and having people say you are very talented or wow this is amazing, I mean I can see that for myself. Although at this age I can't tell if I like the idea or I actually want it, I question myself a lot. And can I ask what you wish to become? I really hope things work out for you
I understand how you feel. When i was in high school, I got bullied for a year. By a new guy in our class. he called me names and yelled it so 3 classes could hear it (and they joined him -_-), threw mandarin peels at me. he also bullied 2 of my friends. one because she was chinese and one because she was a little awkward and weird (like me) and because she was vegetarian. He pushed her againts the wall and called her names. it made her cry. I think I got through that year because I had my friends. We knew what we were going through so we supported each other. Sometimes I stood up to them, but it didn't make any difference. Now it's 5 years later, and now i've gotten more confidence. But I still am a little afraid of what people think about me.
people who have a low self esteem have a negative energy around them. and it effects others too. And people notice it when someone has a low self esteem. That's why they choose such people to bully. They are an easy victime. I always think about how i look at other people. when i see someone weird, ugly, different or even handsome or pretty, A few seconds later I already forgot about it. We may think about it for a short moment, but that's it. So these people who do look at you when you walk past, they probably forgot about you the minute you pass by. At least that's what I assume, because it's how I think.
I have not been bullied that servere (I was more gutsy when I was younger though I admit I had my moments when I cracked and cried right then and there with my friends helping me. True Friends are the best when you're feeling the worst. I glad you're more confident now! It's sad to know I give off negative energy cause I love making other people smile and feel good about themselves...and I've been thinking that, based on when I see other people do I really stare at them and try to judge them and I don't so then I ask myself, why are you so worried about what others around you are thinking about you they are probably not even looking at you. Thank you for the response. And another question, have you forgiven those who bullied you in the past? I forgive people easily but I haven't forgiven those people who bullied me (I still see them) and they try to be nice and say hi but their intentions never seem pure.
I think I have forgiven 2 of the 3 bullies. One of them was the guy I liked (already a year before he started bullying me, and he was funny back then), so I always sort of forgave him easily. And another one just thought it was cool to hang out with them. later he got new friends and became nice and funny. So he is forgiven too. But I haven't forgiven the main bully. I still hate him. I don't see him anymore, but i know he's still the same and he won't change easily.
I don't think you should forgive such people easily. If they now say hi to you, but it doesn't sound real, then I would ignore it.
And about my previous comment. I didn't mean to say you always give off negative energy Only when you're really down about your insecurity. Like, that you don't look at people or snap at people because you're getting irritated or something. I think when you happily talk to people and don't think about your insecurity's, people feel better about you (that's what i think).
That's nice but I don't think I could forgive all of them either for the same reason. I can't forgive someone without having a serious conversation and talking it out with them because if I forgive them like that it just gives them a chance to repeat the same thing. And thanks for clearing it up, it makes more sense.
You have to get out of that way of thinking as all that's doing is holding you back in life. You can't stay in one spot and hide under the covers just for the sake of fear that people will reject you for being different. Listen, every single person on earth is different but unique and special in their own way, offering just as much as the other for the world if they use what they have properly. You have a lot to offer, otherwise you would not be here. You have to step out of your comfort zone and not to fear failure. It's not always going to be perfect but you have to step out and use your gifts the best of your ability, otherwise you will sit there, always wondering of what may had been. It's only hard in the beginning but as you progress out further it will not necessarily become easier but more natural and comfortable.