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January 1, 2013
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I Hate Being This Pathetic...but Break Ups Suck.

:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
Let's face it; the mere fact that I can't get over my own problems is pathetic. The fact that I'm asking people I'll never know for help? Even more so. But the worst part of it is, I'm still gonna do it.
So. Here's my pathetic, mushy little problem.
I've got a boyfriend. He's nice, smart, and predictable. He used to be funny. I used to make him laugh. Now, after two years, it's like talking to someone I've never met. I don't want to date him anymore, and I think leading him on like this is a total bitch move.
But I can't break up with the guy. One, because although I no longer care for him as a boyfriend, he is still my friend and I hate to hurt him. Two, because we are surrounded by harpies. Our friends would demand to know WHY. And I can't just tell them, "Because I damn well feel like it," or they'll pick me apart. And that's not counting the legions of preppy girls who would flip out; apparently me and him are a fascinating example of two people who date WITHOUT sticking their tongues down each other's throats.
So. I need some suggestions. (I know somebody's gonna troll, "Just fucking do it, you pussy." Well, yes, thank you so much for underlining my cowardice. That doesn't help. Go troll someone who gives a fuck.) Sorry. My bad. I've gone off on a tangent. ANYWAY, suggestions...?
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Devious Comments

:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
PLEASE DON'T POST ANYTHING ANYMORE. I don't know how to close a forum, but thanks to the support provided below, I realized that not breaking up with him was a waste of my time. So I did. And shockingly, it went over fairly well. I'm glad to say that I'm free, and thank you for your support. DEVIANTART RULES!
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:icontinoculars:
Tinoculars Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
If you can't break up with him for no "apparent" reason, why don't you try finding an apparent reason? Suck another guy's dick.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013   Digital Artist
Here's a great example of someone doing all the wrong things for everyone but themselves.
Ask yourself, whose life is it? Is it your friends? No, so fuck them. Is it anyone's business? No, so fuck them. You don't need to give any reasons to anyone (minus your boyfriend) and if you do, it can damn well be because I feel like it if you want. It's your fucking life, stop living for everyone else.

This same issue carries over to why you can't break up with someone, and be honest about how you feel. You'd rather him be happy in a lie, than to allow yourself to be happy. But this doesn't make things better. Now that you feel like this, the relationship will deteriorate slowly but surely. And all you accomplish by trying to spare him now, is to make things much worse for him later, and for you. You just end up pissing away parts of both your lives because you're too scared of telling the truth. And he'll feel deceived that you've been living a lie to him, and that could have a resounding impact on how he trusts people in the future as well.

If you know it's over, and that is how you feel, than have to conviction, and the respect to be honest and end it as soon as you can. If you really do care about him as a friend still, than the better thing to do is to just end it now.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Writer
That makes a lot of sense. The only thing now is to do it, thank you.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
Break up with him. It's not trolling to tell you to bloody well do it. How would you feel if you found out someone you loved had been faking their feelings and lying to you in return? It would be horrible and not something a friend would do. It might hurt him in the present to deal with a break up, but it will be infinitely better in the long run. Also, definitely do it face to face; it shows you care and aren't trying to weasel out of an awkward conversation.

If your friends ask about it, just be polite about it all and say that you feel like you've grown apart. He's a great guy, but you don't think of him as a boyfriend anymore. Whatever. If they keep pushing, just shrug and say it doesn't always have to be complicated if you're mature about losing feelings for someone.

Two years isn't all that long compared to a lifetime. He'll get over it and eventually thank you for being respectful instead of lying to avoid feeling bad. Doing that (or trying something silly like making him break up with you) would be selfish on your part, trust me.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
You're right...all life time considered, it's not worth lying about.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
It'll suck at the time, no one will disagree with that. But future you and your future ex boyfriend will be glad you did it rather than lie about it; all that does it encourage resentment and bitterness.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
I do hate resentment. Regret more than resentment, but resentment sucks.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
And I can't just tell them, "Because I damn well feel like it,"

Actually you can. It's called being honest.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
I won't argue there; you're right.
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Why would being predictable be an interesting trait? As for your problem you shouldn't stay in a relationship because you're afraid of hurting the other person if you leave them. If anything it would cause more heartache and problems in the future. Who cares what other people think, are they part of the relationship? How old are you by the way? Just it sounds like you're in a American high school film. Relationships while young are hard to keep as both people mature and grow which leads to separate ways. I think this is what's happening here. At some point both of you are going to be unsatisfied and eventually move on. If you're going to post on DA opinions will be given, you're on the help with life forum after all.

Oh, and keeping a friendship after a relationship has ended can be hard. But can be possible, good luck with that if you claim to want to be friends after.

Still I would suggest moving on. Life's too short.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
LOL. You've got me pegged. I'm seventeen, about to go to college, and I am shockingly aware of how cinematic and pathetic my situation is. It's ridiculous, really. And predictable isn't interesting, it was just one of his main three traits. He can't really surprise me. *shrug* He tries, does that count? And thanks for the luck; I'll need it. :)
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Pegged? Still you're young and when I read your post I thought you're were around 15. Whoa! if that's one of his main three traits no wonder why you're bored with him XD What you need is a bit a mystery from a man. He shouldn't have to try it should just happen. He sounds sweet though making an effort. How unfortunate you're not on the same page as him.

No problem, and you sure do;)
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
Pegged, means like, you got me down. Pegged! On the nose, so to speak. I'm annoyingly young for my age :P And yeah, bored definitely pegs it. It is unfortunate, but c'est la vie... I just hope he doesn't cry. I can be a cynical bitch from hell, but if he cries... *shudder*
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Weird slang word lol
Oh well what can you do? But offer him a Kleenex. It doesn't make you a bitch you're just doing the right thing. I completely understand what you mean, I used to make my boyfriend(ex) cry quite a few times not on purpose I swear I'm not heartless. Thinking back it still makes me feel bad.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
I sure hope I'm doing the right thing, I just don't know how to do it. I mean, I can't exactly call him up and be like, "Yo. Dude. Is over." And then hang up. The only time I see him is at school, and with the harpies about...face to face just gets harder and harder to pull off. And aww, don't feel bad. :( Past is in the past; it's more efficient to freak out about the future. :P
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Yes that's the worst threw text, email or phone. Breaking up face to face takes guts. Just you have to do it can't you arrange outside of school to talk? When he hears the word "talk" he will probably know what's going to happen. But if you're not happy with the relationship there is no point carrying it on for his sake. It sure is, I learn from my past and one of those things I learn't from a relationship is you can't trust no one, rely on him, and not to reveal one's true self. I enjoy not having to deal with relationship bullshit. But then I've always loved being on my own.

As for the girls tell them to mind their own business. They really do sound pathetic. Like really immature XD
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Writer
Absolutely; I liked being on my own and I'm comfortable with it. And relationship BS is the WORST. And yes, they're imbeciles. But there is power in numbers... -_-
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(1 Reply)
:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Just do it.

You don't feel a connection with him anymore, so unless you talk to him and he actually tries to change... it's a complete waste of your time, and you'd be better off without him. If you'd rather be friends, that's also fine. If things don't work out, it's not impossible to just revert back to friends.
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Just do it troll>

Where the hell did that endtag go :paranoid:
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
:) Thanks for not supertrolling me, I do appreciate it. And reverting back to friends at year 2 is...difficult.
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Two years is actually very short for a relationship.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
*nods* ... I suppose you're right. Hm. Hadn't thought about it in long term sense....
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:iconbleachrocks2010:
bleachrocks2010 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I dumped my boyfriend today and lets just say I have to deal with everybody being like OMFG WHY and I was like cause fuck you thats why. Ignore them if they question you just say you guys drifted apart to much.
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
I laugh at the mental image of that. ^ ^ "Hey, so I heard you broke up with your boyfriend today and I wanted to know why--" "FUK U DAS WHY!"
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:iconbleachrocks2010:
bleachrocks2010 Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Haha yeah XD
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:icondarkanddefiant:
darkanddefiant Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
sometimes people just fall out of love, and the best thing for both of you is to just let it go. it'll hurt since you don't wanna let him go, but what is best for you?
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:iconkindcritic:
KindCritic Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Writer
Best for me is to have him break up with me since it wont hurt me as much, but he's too much of a gentleman to do that...
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