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January 1, 2013
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Some interesting creative issues

:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
Okay, so because my brain is way too overactive, I recently started thinking about Valentine's Day. I generally despise Hallmark holidays and everything they represent, but this year, I actually have someone who I wouldn't mind enjoying it with. But that's where my problem comes in.

When I asked her out, she seemed happy to say yes, though she later that night said she isn't ready to date, especially with how busy our semesters are. Since we're both in busy college curricula, I entirely understand that. Since that point, though, I've never really known where we stand. Making it worse is my absolutely sucking at reading cues and moods.

So when it comes to Valentine's Day, I have no idea what kind of message, if any at all, I should give to her. Another, more interesting conundrum is that we're both very interested in studying Asian culture, and so I don't know if giving her something on White Day would actually have more meaning than Valentine's.

I always try to analyze and solve my own issues, but for this one, I'm entirely out of my depth.
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Devious Comments

:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Don't mind the "leave her" squad. They come up with this solution in every thread.

If you are not in the same class\study, just call her up. Ask to do other things with her, like accompanying her when she needs to go somewhere, or ask her to come with you if you are going somewhere. Being valentine is not only about going out on a date. Actually just directly ask her if she feels something for you, or did she say that she was busy simply because she wanted to say no.

If she is actually really busy than just invite her over after a busy project or exam she had.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
Actually, it's a bit more complex than I made it out to be. Neither of us drive, and while the town she lives in has a bus system, the hour-away town I live in doesn't. We can usually only spend time together on weekends during the semesters because of this and the courseload, though we do usually do so at least twice a month (barring massive projects on either or both our parts), while we talk online in the interim.

When I asked her out, she said yes. Later that night, though, she said that while she likes me, right now she wants to focus on friends, family, and school and that at least for the times that we're both still in college, dating wouldn't really work. So we've still regularly hung out since then, and I understand completely where she's coming from, but it has, unfortunately, made me unsure of where things stand and what situations (such as making and giving her a Valentine's/White Day card and some form of gift) are ill advised to take part in.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Ok I get it better now.

Yeah you know, women think in pre-agreed thoughts, so until the question of where stands is resolved, it would be a bad idea to give her a valentine card. If she's hysterically putting a no-no about romance on your name tag, than giving a card without an intro could be disastrous.

Plus I'm not familiar with the valentine day customs of your country. If it means like, only close lovers or totally stranger casual intercoursers celebrate it, than she would be a bad idea. Get her some flowers first. Or send her some. Or just, you know, move the things into a place where you get to kiss her. And than do the valentine.
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
I'd find someone else. I'm sure someone will snap you up. ^_^
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
Dude, she's not interested in you like that. If they say they're busy, or give any other excuses for why they can't, and never mention the date again, they don't want to date you. If they say they're busy but suggest another day for the date, they're interested. Also, the next time you ask someone out, make the date for within the next couple of weeks, not months in advance.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
The part of your logic about excuses kind of hits me as a childish view, especially since the "excuse" was that we both currently are too busy with heavy courseloads to date, which was and still is true, but the rest of your reasoning seems to be logical. And to elaborate, I asked her out about halfway through hanging out together for a whole day, but I never actually set a date, since my logic was that she'd be hanging out the next week anyway.
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
It may or may not be childish, but it's how the world works. Excuses are a polite way of turning someone down. You said yourself that you suck at reading cues and moods, so here's your crash course on dating.

When you ask someone on a date, have a specific day and time and event ready, because if you aren't prepared, that date is likely to never happen. If you schedule it many months in advance, it has a high chance of not happening. Someone else could ask her out in the meantime, which could turn into a serious relationship, your date gets cancelled. Or some other life-changing event could occur, with your date getting cancelled. And don't give me crap about your course load. If you both really wanted this, you'd make the time for it.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
I didn't say your deduction went against reality, just that it's childish. As a realist, I'm aware of reality being a cold bitch.

Thank you very much for the advice, though.
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:iconmercury-crowe:
Mercury-Crowe Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
OOh, do White Day. That's sweet. I'd respond favorably, anyway.

Don't push for dates on Valentines day. To much cultural crap involved there. And everybody is out to eat and at movies and stuff and it's all crowded.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
Since I'm making the card and such myself, I suppose I could just make 2 cards and play it safe. I think that Valentine's actually falls on a Thursday this year, so having a date on it would be pretty difficult to begin with, unless one of us (I've got Tuesday and Thursday days and she has nights for our schedules) skipped classes for the day. Thank you for the advice :D
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:iconfreakylaurent:
FreakyLaurent Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional Photographer
:iconfacepalmplz:
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
I'm looking for advice, so if you facepalm, please explain why before or afterwards, as, since I'm clueless enough to be looking for others' advice and input (which is something I try to avoid like the plague), I will likely not see the stupidity or flaw as obvious enough to jump out at me.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Sounds to me like she blew you off. Or she was just a bit confused since Valentine's day isn't for another month and a half.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
I asked her out in May.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dude, that was seven months ago. If she hasn't responded she is definitely not into you.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional General Artist
She did respond then, and positively. She then gave understandable reasons why, for the present, we can't date. She has continued hanging out with me, regularly, since then. Hence why I'm unsure of where things stand.
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Sorry for butting in, but you say you hang out regularly, but you don't have time to date... so you have time to hang out, but no time to call it a date? Or is the "hanging out" you two sitting next to each other in class?

Don't bother with card on any of those occasions. If she's not interested thing will probably get awkward and you'll get more straight answers if you just talk it through with her.
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:iconericthomasstudios:
EricThomasStudios Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional General Artist
We hang out for a full day every other weekend, barring any extensive projects on either of our sides. "Regularly" was an ill-picked word.
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:iconsimplylemie:
SimplyLemie Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
Well, it's regularly enough to start to date, I guess. Ever other weekend isn't ideal, but it's still something!
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
No, she did not respond positively. It's been eight months since and you still haven't been on a date.
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