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December 30, 2012
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Never had a boyfriend

:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist
Now, I'm not trying to attract attention or anything like that what-so-ever. So if you are not interested in what I have to say, then I highly encourage you to click on to some other happy place. :)

Okay, the thing is I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not sure what it is. I've never really been head over heels for a guy, and no guy has ever really been into me. I'm not sure what it is...maybe it's because I'm not that social? Is it that I'm too quiet? Is it that I'm not attractive enough? Because honestly, I don't consider myself that attractive. People have said out of the blue that I have the cutest face ever, but that's about it. I know people say that I have an entire lifetime to get a boyfriend, but I can still feel the emptiness. I feel like I'm missing out. I've never had a hand to hold, never had someone to kiss, or someone to cuddle with. I just want a nice relationship.

I just feel like this situation is acid, and it's eating away at the back of my confused mind. It has for a while now. Should I be more ambitious? More of a go-getter? Or should I just wait even more? If given the chance then I can be a really awesome person. Advice would be nice.
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:iconhiyoi:
hiyoi Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
I'm 21 and never had a boyfriend, either. Never dated or held hands or been hit on or anything.
It would be wise not to worry too much about finding a boyfriend as that can eventually mutate into obsession and then you'll end up like me, dating your cat.
For now, focus on making friends and being the best you can be so when the right guy shows up, you'll be ready for one fabulous relationship, without any insecurities or anything that can weight it down.
Good luck.
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:icondarkland8:
darkland8 Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013
totally understand how you feel. i was in your situation until the end of my freshman year of college when i did get a girlfriend. To be honest it's probably best if you dont worry to much about it and take your time, rushing into a relationship really isn't the way to go and to be honest great thing do come with time (so consider your single life an investment into a good future relationship ;D ). lol But no really just relax and be yourself. if this really worries you just go out and put yourself in a position to meet new people your age. Join school clubs, go to night clubs, take some sort of music/martial arts/art/dance/ext classes. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there, yea you may ave a few bad experiences but it's better to do and to regret that to regret not doing.
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:iconlowko:
lowko Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013
I read that as "I just feel like the solution is acid" and imagined tearing off a few squares and tripping for a weekend. FIXED.
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:iconworldhero:
WorldHero Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Student Filmographer
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was 18 because I was the same way; I never had any crushes on any boys. But I managed to get my current and first one is because I wasn't looking for one. We just happened to run into each other on here and hit it off for several months by getting to know each other and the friendship we had was going so well, we decided to take it a bit further by dating. :shrug:

So just continue to be yourself, don't try to deliberately look for one, and just get acquainted with boys. :aww: Then after you know a couple of them (and you know they're available), try asking them out for lunch or some other casual friendly date, one that isn't too serious. The longer you get acquainted with them, the more they'll like you and you can try to ask them if they want to go a bit further with the relationship. :shrug:
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:iconshellpresto:
shellpresto Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
I didn't have a boyfriend until I was your age, and I didn't meet my to-be-husband until I was 25, so you're doing fine.

As a matter of fact, 18 is a really good age to finally start looking. You probably have some idea of what your life goals are (college, straight into the workforce, etc.), and a better idea of where that special someone would fit into them than if you had started earlier. Take a little extra care to look your best when you leave the house, make eye contact a lot and be friendly in general. It's ridiculously hard at first if you're shy, but it gets easier, especially when you realize that people are generally good-natured.

I met one of my best friends in college. I had no friends my senior year and was determined to make one (I made three, actually), so every day at lunch or dinner, I'd let the cafeteria line build up behind me, then I'd move backward in line, asking every person standing alone if they wanted company while they ate. I even did it when I ate outside the cafeteria, striking up conversations with people sitting alone near me in the chinese restaurant. It took me about 6 tries and 3 unpleasant/boring conversations, but I did make a great friend out of it.

Friends aside, though, I didn't meet my husband until I spent close to a year surfing match.com -- which is also really great if you're shy.
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:iconmr-bananasham:
Mr-bananasham Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
got my first girlfriend this year... (I'm 19)
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:iconartlover25:
ArtLover25 Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
I wouldn't worry.
I didn't start dating anyone until I was in college, where you will meet a lot more people, btw. :) And these were not overly serious. I was just meeting people and testing the waters, so to say.

It wasn't until I was 25 when I met my boyfriend who is the only person I have been and still am serious about. Plus, I met him out of the blue, and hadn't been looking for a relationship at the time. Funny how things work out.

But in all honesty, I wouldn't worry. Just get out there and start meeting people until you find the right one. Good luck!
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:iconunreasonablereasons:
UnreasonableReasons Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're still young, I won't worry too much about it. I have a friend in her mid-20's - super cute, very smart, wonderful sense of humor, and has never had a boyfriend. She's very studious and just hasn't had the time for it. You're not weird or abnormal for having not yet experienced a relationship. It just all comes with time. I know it's difficult to do, but I really wouldn't advise going and actively looking for something. If you get with someone just for the sake of being with them, you're far less likely to be really happy.
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:iconmatthewmatters:
MatthewMatters Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional General Artist
I do think the best advice I can give you is remind you that a relationship takes two. A relationship begins with the initiation of one, which also obviously enough takes two. It's extremely unlikely you're going to come across anyone by just sitting alone quietly in the corner: it indeed is cliche for the guys to go after the girls, but as we should all know, cliches suck.

In other words, you need to be active too to get a guy.
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:iconcreativeartisit:
Creativeartisit Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Hey man you're still young, you have plenty of time to find a man, I'm sure you'll find a guy that will love you for who you are, never say never. :D
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:iconsolum-ipsum:
Solum-Ipsum Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I want to cuddle too. :( Lick ears and nibble necks. =p
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:iconmylastel:
mylastel Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
My! You're just 18! :la: I mean, you're still young to worry about not having a boyfriend. If there's someone who should worry it's ladies at late 20's. :giggle:
Seriously, you don't have to worry and keep thinking about it. You can do something else like studying, working (oh sometimes people meet their bfs/gfs from work), traveling, going out, etc. =D Besides, you're not the only one who's in this situation. There are millions (yeah, millions) of people, girls, boys who experience the same. :pat: Just keep on improving yourself because for sure, one day, a guy will notice you and will like you for who you are and what you do, and soon might fall in love w/ you. ;)
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:icondarkdevilzaria:
DarkDevilZaria Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Student Digital Artist
I used to feel the exact same way as this...until I got some other really close friendships. :)
Now I don't think not having a boyfriend is missing much...it's not kissing or cuddling that you want...it's someone you can feel close too as a person (I think) and you can get that from really close friendships too. :D I'm still single and have been my whole life XD but I'm happier now having close friendships, :) and before I was told the same sort of things as you...that I'm pretty (only girls told me this though XD) and guys never even look at me XD But :p don't worry so much about not having a boyfriend :) just take things a day at a time :D right now you are single so enjoy being single and be yourself, don't worry about the future that hasn't happened yet or the present that you don't have and make the best of what you do have :) and if you do that then you will be happy without a boy. :)
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:iconkausawolf:
kausawolf Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Just live your life and sooner or later a guy will walk into it that will make you happy.
Going out of your way to find someone more often than not ends in heartache.
You want someone who will fit in your life, not someone you need to always do a lot for or change for.
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:iconkizziesama:
Kizziesama Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
I didn't get my first boyfriend until I was 20 :shrug: And I thought I was missing out... and I wasn't :lol: I am actually quite happy I didn't start dating until I was going into my adult years, just because the stupid teenage drama never really happened for me. And, I've only ever had two boyfriends (the second of which is now my husband).

I didn't start meeting people and seeing romantic potential until after I stopped caring so much about it (odd how that works). When you start getting more comfortable in your own skin, feeling confident in yourself, people seem to take notice :) Just don't force it.
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:icontsuruginomai:
TsurugiNoMai Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
my last relationship, she was the same. never had a boyfriend never been hugged ect. so i was 'the first,' all of it online really and we never met. i tried my best to take it slow and do things her way, but it just didnt work out and now its pretty much dissolved into anger.

dont force it. when the time is right, it will happen. love is strange. it happens when you dont want to and leaves you just as fast. theres nothing wrong with being single. sometimes, its much better that way...

if you see some one you like, talk to him. if youre afraid, will you regret never talking to him, or regret ever talking to him? if youre going to have regrets, its better to know that regret and the reasons why rather than not taking that risk. if its not meant to be, its just not. move on to the next :)

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:iconangelxxuan:
angelxxuan Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student General Artist
I waited patiently and stopped looking and he appeared within my life. I have learned about one thing, a lot of guys are shy or have been in weird situations in the past. so approaching them isn't entirely all that bad. become friends and see where it goes from there. but, in my case, I'm one major tomboy so basically it took me quite awhile to realize boys were more than just someone to play sports with and they were actually something of an interest, aka dating.
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
I have friends that feel just like you, but don't worry about it, it will come when the time is right! if it is meant for you to have a boyfriend, the time will come, and it doesn't matter if you are shy or antisocial, he will come and speak to you:) I was shy too and I had a boyfriend when I was about 12 years old (not any mature relationship of course, but still, we liked being together and cuddle like you say). You should be yourself, when you someday have a boyfriend, he won't want you for who you try to be, but for the person you are :) he will be attracted to you and like you just the way you are. Stop thinking nonsense thoughts, all our stories differ, and that's what makes it so interesting. When you do find this nice person, you will find out how it is, and it will be your experience, unique and wonderful. You will hold hands and watch movies together and everything your heart desires. Give it time, don't think about it too much, be yourself, go out with friends, to parties, live the way you want, and let it come when the time is right. You can't push it.
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Wow. What you said sounds like magic. Alright. Don't push it. Got it. Thank you. :)
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:iconsmoludozerka:
Smoludozerka Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm afraid there are no rules and no recipes.
Sadly, many people are with someone but aren't truly happy, they just didn't want to be alone... those people I'm not envious of.

Anyway, 18 is a nicer age that it would seem ;) I've been happier with myself and my friends in my 20s than I was in my teens, and while I haven't met a person I'd like to be with I could see that some people are attracted to me, even if it doesn't work out in the end XD

So worry not, it's not a race with others :) Let's only worry when we are ripe old and complain that some damn boyfriend should fetch us that damn walker! :D
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Thank you. XD
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:iconmeganmissfit:
MeganMissfit Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I wouldn't really worry about being too quiet. There is somebody out there who will like your personality type anyway. Plenty of shy and quiet people find boyfriends/girlfriends (including me). Don't let it get to you, and do NOT lower your standards for a good guy just because you don't think you can't find one. In the long run, you're better off single than being in a relationship in which you and your partner are completely incompatible!
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Good advice. I'll keep that in mind.
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:iconsachi-pon:
Sachi-pon Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i feel your pain! i've never had one either! i'm not sure if i want one, though. one day i strongly will though, i'm sure XD but right now i don't know. relationships can be nice but there is also the potential for drama and heartbreak. so i'm not completely sad that i'm not in a relationship. still, sometimes i do wish i had a BF!

like you, i've never been in love with a guy. and guys aren't in love with me. i actually can't imagine why a guy would want to be my BF, at least not for a long time. i'd probably annoy him too much >___<

i'm not even sure if i'm attractive to guys. girls, and relatives and family friends, say that i'm cute/pretty. but guys barely seem to notice.

so i can understand how you feel. i guess we'll find someone EVENTUALLY. the right person is out there somewhere, right...
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Yes! Somewhere! We will find him. I'll start by looking under this rock...nope. He's not there. XD
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:iconsachi-pon:
Sachi-pon Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha XD
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Don't worry, someday you will find the right person, or he finds you.
Okay, that was the general feel-good-everything-will-be-alright message.

Starting your first relationship can be difficult. You want to find that perfect guy you are willing to give your love, affection and the whole nine yards.
But... Have you an inkling what kind of guy that is?
You probably have this mental picture, but how realistic is that? You don't know if someone like that exists. Maybe he does, maybe he don't, and maybe in reality he isn't the ideal guy at all. You will never know until you try.

My advice: just start dating, play the field a little, have fun. With the help of internet you can easily find scores of guys willing to go on a date.
Dating is the only way to find out what you want from a guy and what is realistic.
Will there be terrible dates? Sure. Live and learn. And you will have fun stories to tell.
Will it be difficult to tell someone you are not interested in any further dates? Yup, but only the first few times.
Will it be fun and exciting? Sometimes it will be :-)
A date does not mean you have to marry the guy, or sleep with him, or even see him a second time.

Find a few guys online.
If there is a click, try a date somewhere safe and public.
If it still is great, give him your number and name.
Date him again.
It is not rocket science.
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Internet? Hm, that actually does sound like a good option. I will keep it in mind.
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:iconbullet-magnet:
Bullet-Magnet Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
I'm 24 and never had a girlfriend. My personality is birth control.
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
Alright. Good to know.
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:iconbullet-magnet:
Bullet-Magnet Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
GROD IN THE SKY PLEASE TELL ME WHY!? :iconicekingplz:
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist
:shrug:
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:iconbullet-magnet:
Bullet-Magnet Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012
Slime Princess, you're alright!
Flame Princess, you're okay.
Wildberry Princess could be better.
All of the princesses are pretty alright, but...
Oh, Bubblegum!
You look like a lot of fun!
I'm right outside!
And that is how I know.
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:iconkankitsuru:
kankitsuru Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Being yourself is pretty much the best thing you can do:)
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well if it's driving you that crazy, be a little more proactive. Not necessarily a go-getter, but put yourself in more situations to meet people, and be more sociable. I had to learn how to make small talk and observe how other people acted and imitate them before I could even think of dating, and I was in university by then.
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:iconfighterxaos:
fighterxaos Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Professional Writer
I know I've felt similar. I've only had ome girlfriend and she was as some would say a "yandere". Some times I get real down in the dumps over not being in a relationship. Didn't help that the one girl I thought I had a chance with turned me down after working up the courage to tell her I had feelings for. But after a while I realized she wasn't the only one I could have a chance with and that honestly, she wasn't right anyway. Something I learned that there are definitely people that think you're attractive and people that think you're cool.

Some advice would be to not necessarily be a go-getter don't want to rush in to meeting a nut but to be more open to conversing, if someone approaches and they're not creepy talk back. Even if you're not into them it at least makes you start to feel more comfortable and shows you're approachable. Basically don't rush and don't be afraid to mingle/talk on occasions.

I should probably take my own advice. :XD:
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:icongator1949:
gator1949 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
juuuuust let nature take care of it. if ya rush, or try too hard, well..... wont go too good.
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Well you're only 18...
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:iconresurrectiondreams:
ResurrectionDreams Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Try not to let it get to you, I'm in the exact same position as you and I know how often those thoughts can go through your head. Sometimes, I often wonder if there is something "wrong" with me, even though I know that's not really the case. I'm sure when you meet someone and the time is right, you'll know. That's how I try to look at it anyway. I would rather try and enjoy my time being single and not worry about all of that other stuff. I'm not sure how old you are, but I'm sure you still have plenty of time for all of that and it's better to focus on being capable of taking care of yourself (going to school, getting a career, etc.), before getting involved with someone else because for all you know it could become a distraction. But, you are not the only one out there in this situation, so don't feel as if you're alone. It's okay to take your time. :)
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:iconreinahw:
ReinaHW Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012   Writer
There's no point to rushing with love. When fate says it's time for you to love, then you'll love and if the one you love ends up being the one you are fated to be with for the rest of your life then that will be.
But there's no point in rushing it.
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:icondeilawliet:
deilawliet Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
:iconiknowthatfeelplz:, exact same with me -__-
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:iconkemcar:
kemcar Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
All I can say is that there is nothing wrong in the way you are thinking about relationship, but my piece of advice would be don't be desperate about it, we often make mistakes in a hurry. You will get the love of your life someday, you just need to wait, I am not telling you to sit back, you can meet new people, go out and know them, but don't commit to anything before knowing the opposite person well, because you don't generally get to know a person in the first meeting, so give time and see if it works out. Just be casual about it, if you hype it, you will land into trouble. Hope it helps.
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:iconpakaku:
Pakaku Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
Being in a relationship is nice, but not necessary. Don't worry about it.
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:iconcelestialsheep:
CelestialSheep Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've never had a girlfriend. Well, I dated for a month and a half, but that was because I pitted the girl. As to what actual people do with girls... I'm as virgin as a virgin can be. Never held hands, kissed, or even hugged.

And I'm perfectly fine with that. As of right now, I'm not looking for baggage, drama, or pointless concerns. My future, my finances, and my stability are the priority. Though, I've had a lot of women interested in me. I even got invited over to a girls house in the middle of the night with nobody else. Yeah, I turned that down in a heartbeat.

I'm 24 currently. And I believe at my age is the time when relationships should start to matter. Once the education is coming to a close and a future is secure.

I view high school relationships for weak minded people who have no self control. But that's just me, and I can taste the hate I'll get from that comment. Don't worry about it. Chances are you're too young and probably shouldn't even care about it.
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012
There isn't really a quick answer to your question. It's just something that takes time. There are definitely things you can do to help (or hurt) the process, but ultimately you gotta be patient. Relationships are pretty easy to come by, but the good ones, where both parties involved love and respect eachother, and don't have too much baggage or crappy circumstances getting into the way, are much harder to find. They're also totally worth the wait.

What you're asking is a pretty common question around here, but there's not really a satisfactory answer or solution for it. But for what it's worth, you still being single at 18 doesn't mean something's wrong with you, nor does it mean you'll be single forever.
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
If you don't wait for the right person to come along, and instead look for a relationship for the sake of having a relationship, chances are that you're going to end up with someone that you're incompatible with or senses that you're desperate and will try to use you. You're still young (your profile said 18) so just be patient and focus on your hobbies and career.
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist
Alright. Thank you. :)
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:iconariannewolodarsky:
ArianneWolodarsky Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Professional General Artist
Hmmmm....well, this sounds like someone I know...............me! Well, I used to be like you. I can only assume you're in your teens. I'm mid 20's now, and have been with my long-term boyfriend for just over 7 years, and have known him for over a decade now. Scary, I know. And you know what else? He's my first and only ever boyfriend (thus far, touch wood). As a teen I was very quiet, introverted, creative, anti-social, and concentrated on my studies rather than on boys. My relationship with my boyfriend started off as a genuine online friendship for 4 years before we even met in person. Thing is, I never went looking for love, it just found me, as cliché as it sounds. I am still fairly quiet, fairly shy (more confident though), and introverted in my own weird anti-social way (although my social skills have improved slightly). So, what I have learnt from my own experience is that as soon as you stop wanting or looking for that specific thing, usually they'll turn up, and you may be spoilt for choice. So my advice would be to enjoy your current single status, enjoy the present, have fun, volunteer or find a new hobby (a way to meet new people), and simply forget about it. It'll happen. :)
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:iconexplodingapple:
explodingapple Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist
Thank you. :) That helps a lot.
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:iconariannewolodarsky:
ArianneWolodarsky Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Professional General Artist
No worries. :)
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