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December 28, 2012
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Replies: 37

Am I a mean girl??!

:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm very forward with people and throw insults at them without thinking how they might react or feel inside and the I say I'm joking.
I have mood swings and when I'm down I pick on people without aplogizing just so I can let my feelings out somwhere.
I love my best friend and would do anything for her but usually when she's frustrated or upset I often don't know how to help her or don't help at all.
I say boys are boring even when theyr'e not.
I just want attention from my firends and sometimes go to extreme measures just to get noticed. Many of you who know me will say I'm hyper and childish and unfeeling.
I get called ugly and brush off the comment but inside it really, really hurts.
I get jealous and disagreeable when people I'm close ot start doing something or are better at something than me.
I cry for no reason when nobody's looking and when they ask what's wrong I say I'm fine.
I have those days where I'm happy with who I am and my life and those other days where I can't stand myself.
I have harmful addictions and secrets that I cant bring myself to tell anyone and I hide my inner feelings with laughter. I laugh a LOT. I love my friends and I feel lucky to have them and time spent with them is quality time indeed.
I pretend to hate boys but rteally it's cos I'm tongue tied and I'm too self-concious to send subtle hints that I have a crush on them.
This has been bothering me for a while guys- I'm not a mean girl, am I? Or is it just a teenage thing?
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Devious Comments

:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Student Interface Designer
Locked at OP request :lock:
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:iconmetalhartrockandroll:
You sound like a kinda of junky person. Oh well, get in the pile.
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for everyone for what they've done and said, but you can stop mailing me now. I'm good xxxx

IndigoSparkles xxx:)
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:iconnamenotrequired:
namenotrequired Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Interface Designer
Shall I lock this for you then? :)
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes please
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:iconmoxiee:
moxiee Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
I think you are and I would have given you twice as many mean comments back if I really knew you but most likely we would still be friends until I get sick of you.
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:iconuniversalsugar:
universalsugar Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Feeling mean doesn't always mean your being mean. From quite a bit of the stuff you said it's seems that you appreciate your friends and that you are nice person. People can't always be sensitive to other peoples feelings when they them self are having trouble with there own feelings (such as you feeling like you may be being mean). The mood swings could almost certainly be explained by it just a teenage thing a lot of people have mood swings when there teenagers as its all part of growing up blah blah blah . In conclusion it seems to me your intentions are good, your a nice person and your just a going through a stage which is making you feel uneasy.

Hope that helped XD.
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:iconamberissa:
Amberissa Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Interface Designer
If you realize how you are to people around you, why not change your behavior? Appeal to your better nature. If you believe you're a good person, then you are! Prove people around you that they are wrong about you! It's not an awkward situation to suddenly change your behavior to people. It notifies people that you're trying to be a better person to everyone from now on. If you believe in the kindness of people, they'll believe in the kindness of you. And trust me, you'll feel it.

Expect great things if you're good and respectful to others. You're never to late : )
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
'and throw insults at them without thinking how they might react or feel inside and the I say I'm joking'

Don't need to read any further. Yep. You are.

You want people to like you, you gotta quit that crap.

WHY you are doing it doesn't matter in the real world. Only your actions matter.
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this is what I'm tryna improve the most - thanks for your answer xxx
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:iconferaltao:
FeralTao Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Not mean, insecure and insincere with a tendency towards egoism and those traits manifest strongly in the teenage years when you're building your own character. That's also a good time to work with them and get rid of them or risk spending a lot of your adult time fixing it instead.

I would suggest practicing pausing before talking and evaluating two things:

1. Am I speaking the truth now?
2. Might this be insulting? And if it is, can I formulate this in a way so that I'm still honest but not more offensive than necessary?

Your friends might remark about your "new" opinions if they are used to you being one way but it'll work itself out for the best - pretending gets tiresome very quickly and you have to remember what you weren't honest about to not contradict yourself at a later time. Way to much energy put into something that ends up making you feel worse about yourself.

Security in your self comes from being completely honest to yourself and then working with it. You can't truly change if you only look at the symptoms, not the cause. Being insecure is normal and wanting the approval of others in some form is how humans are wired. Everybody has doubts at times, no matter what age they are - if you practice, you simply get better at overcoming them.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Picking on someone when you feel bad, to make yourself feel better is called lifting yourself up by putting others down. Just on that one I would say yes, you are treating people cruely. And you are going to need to open up about your hurts, your harmful habits, and your secrets to get over feeling bad about yourself.
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:iconallibw:
allibw Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist
indagosparkles i am a teenage girl and the exact opposite of u, im more introverted and shy.but one of my friends is exactly like u! And i luv her 2 death in between the days i want to hit her. I often feel like i need her though just for being the outgoing strong person she is, for being what im not.I think you should just find something that works for u, cuz acting the way you do doesnt seem to be helping anything. you dont have to pretend for anybody.If you are not happy or feeling uncomfortable about something dont joke!dont laugh! and dont use it as another way to get attention.!! you do sound mean but you can stop that.and nobody really likes being around a person who is desperate for attention.Try finding a sport ur good at,you can literaly be the center of attention and have people still cheering you on,i also find it a good stress reliever to.As for boys dont overthink yourself.I know plenty who are hyper attention seekers like yourself. good luck with life.
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thnks this really helps, I am trying to build on what I'm good at as a way to gain attention and to make me feel better about myself. Hopefully hten my habit for picking on people will be less frequent but it will be a long time before its nonexistent. thanks xxx
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Writer
Are you mean? No more mean that anybody else your age. Honestly, I think you've just described almost every single teenager there.

On the other hand, does that mean it's okay? No, because it's still selfish behaviour that might cause you problems in the future. Everybody else is the same as you, but if you're self-aware enough to realise your flaws, you have a chance to fix them and improve your quality of life.

In short: don't beat yourself up for acting shitty something, especially in ways you describe, but don't think that because it's normal it's fine and there's no need to care about it - you'll be a lot better for trying to change.
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:iconredfoxbennaton:
Redfoxbennaton Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
There is nothing wrong with being a mean girl. Its how Amanda Bynes became a actor. Its the survival of the fittest. I don't know where all they overly sensitive sissies come from thinking they can get anywhere in life from being nice. Nice guys finish last. But you should be neutral to everyone.
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:icondariadzyuba:
DariaDzyuba Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't think so.
I agree with ~Endeavor-To-Freefall You're immature, maybe. :shrug:
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:iconword-witch:
Word-Witch Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are who you are. Although I will say, if you know it's wrong, why not try to fix it? You can't change who you are, but you can change how you act.

1) Try to think about what you say before you say it. I'm pretty straightforward half the time, too. The trick is to word it properly, rather than just flat out insult them. And if you aren't giving advice or help, keeping it to yourself might work better.

2) I used to do that, and it feel horrible. Rather than picking on others, why not figure out what's causing these mood swings? If it's something you can change, focus on that.

3) That depends on your friend. Try to ask what's wrong, gently, and if she doesn't want your help that's that.

4) Something you're going to have to work out yourself. Why would you say that if they're not is my question :hmm:

5) What drives your need for attention? Just remember that while it's good to be appreciated once in a while, others need their time too.

6) Sorry :hug: I know that one pretty well. Just think, if someone calls you ugly they're either jealous or just trying to get to you. Tell them to screw off by showing them you don't care, even you do. After a bit you truly won't anymore.

7) Again, people need their time too. Praise them, celebrate with them rather than getting jealous. It's natural to be jealous, but it's only immature to really act like it and may only upset them.

8) That's a personal thing, but if I were you I'd talk to somebody. It doesn't sound like you're living a healthy lifestyle, and trust me, it's much better to open up than to stay closed.

9) We all have those. Try to remember how you felt on the good days when you're having a bad one. That person is still there, whether you see them or not.

10) It's good you try to stay happy, but you can't be hiding things like that. You don't have to tell anyone, but write it down and burn it, ect. Harmful addictions can be overcome. I used to be a terrible cutter, as in 4 at least each day. But the minute I told someone, it gradually got better. If you want to note me you can, and if not that's perfectly fine too.

11) That's something that you can overcome too. Remember, some guys love shy girls! :) Instead of pretending to hate them, tell a close friend or somebody about it. If they're good friends I'm sure they'd love to help you out.

12) Sounds like a teenage thing, but that's only what I can see. You don't seem like a naturally mean person, just how you act sometimes. If I were you I'd take a long look at your life and decide if you really want to live it like this.

I really hope I helped you :iconglompplz: Good luck :)
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:iconword-witch:
Word-Witch Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
You are who you are. Although I will say, if you know it's wrong, why not try to fix it? You can't change who you are, but you can change how you act.

1) Try to think about what you say before you say it. I'm pretty straightforward half the time, too. The trick is to word it properly, rather than just flat out insult them. And if you aren't giving advice or help, keeping it to yourself might work better.

2) I used to do that, and it feel horrible. Rather than picking on others, why not figure out what's causing these mood swings? If it's something you can change, focus on that.

3) That depends on your friend. Try to ask what's wrong, gently, and if she doesn't want your help that's that.

4) Something you're going to have to work out yourself. Why would you say that if they're not is my question :hmm:

5) What drives your need for attention? Just remember that while it's good to be appreciated once in a while, others need their time too.

6) Sorry :hug: I know that one pretty well. Just think, if someone calls you ugly they're either jealous or just trying to get to you. Tell them to screw off by showing them you don't care, even you do. After a bit you truly won't anymore.

7) Again, people need their time too. Praise them, celebrate with them rather than getting jealous. It's natural to be jealous, but it's only immature to really act like it and may only upset them.

8) That's a personal thing, but if I were you I'd talk to somebody. It doesn't sound like you're living a healthy lifestyle, and trust me, it's much better to open up than to stay closed.

9) We all have those. Try to remember how you felt on the good days when you're having a bad one. That person is still there, whether you see them or not.

10) It's good you try to stay happy, but you can't be hiding things like that. You don't have to tell anyone, but write it down and burn it, ect. Harmful addictions can be overcome. I used to be a terrible cutter, as in 4 at least each day. But the minute I told someone, it gradually got better. If you want to note me you can, and if not that's perfectly fine too.

11) That's something that you can overcome too. Remember, some guys love shy girls! :) Instead of pretending to hate them, tell a close friend or somebody about it. If they're good friends I'm sure they'd love to help you out.

12) Sounds like a teenage thing, but that's only what I can see. You don't seem like a naturally mean person, just how you act sometimes. If I were you I'd take a long look at your life and decide if you really want to live it like this.

I really hope I helped you :iconglompplz: Good luck :)
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
I don't think you're mean, it just sounds like you can be childish at times but that's okay. We all get like that every once and a while. Honestly, you seem like a pretty cool person to me.
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
We don't know you, but if you think you are then you probably are.
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:iconjade-abarai-kat:
Jade-Abarai-Kat Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
i must agree with you, if i knew this girl in real life, i would have already punched her in the face
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
:slow:
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:iconjade-abarai-kat:
Jade-Abarai-Kat Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Traditional Artist
:fork:
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:iconnever-ending-legacy:
Never-Ending-Legacy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Like my tutors taught me, if you have doubts, its highly likely your totally screwed, I concur.
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
You probably already know the answer. At least you're honest with yourself.
And it's probably the main reason you're unhappy so often: you don't like yourself either. But for what it's worth, it's something you can change; you're constantly growing and changing, so if you're unhappy with how things are now, it's never too late to do something about that :meow:
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Neh, 'tiresome' comes to my mind.
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:iconcherylblanche:
CherylBlanche Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
You seem unstable, and I agree with *Aret.
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:iconleara07:
leara07 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
I know what you mean. I always give mean comments to my sister and my parents. Even though I love them so very much. I'm terribly unhappy at the moment and I hurt them to get my feelings out. I also keep bitching at people I don't know. I really don't want to be like this, and i don't want to hurt others. I think, only when I'm with my friends, I feel a bit happy.

So I think I know what you're going through, because I can relate to you. Maybe a rude question, but are you unhappy about yourself or about your life at the moment?
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:iconaret:
Aret Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Not only mean but stupid and bitchy. Its one thing to be that way, and a whole other thing to know you're a terrible person and do nothing to change it.
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thanks for your fowardness :(
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:iconhurricaneclaw:
Hurricaneclaw Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yes
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:iconjamocha101:
Jamocha101 Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
At one point, I also shared these frustrations. Like JammyScribbler confided, you're only human, but you seem to lack the mindset of embracing good habits. Your main asset when it comes to social burdens is seeking first to understand, then to be understood. If you want to really learn the most basic but helpful life-lessons and habits that'll erase your insecurities, I suggest you check out Seven Habits for Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey. Google it. Honestly, it's amazing for things like this and beyond.
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
thank for your in-depth reply. This means so much to me. truly xxxx
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:iconjammyscribbler:
JammyScribbler Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
No, you're just human.

Honestly, I shouldn't worry. Everybody goes through a phase like this at some point (I'm still waiting for mine, maybe I've bypassed it) so you're definitely not alone. And I've known you almost a year now, and I don't think you've ever said a single mean thing to me!
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:iconindigosparkles:
IndigoSparkles Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this means a lot, it's been bugging me for a while now. Maybe I haven't hurt you, but I've hurt a lot of others. I try to be careful what I say around my friends, because I don't have many outside of dA but I love them all to bits.
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:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
Immature maybe, I wouldn't say mean.
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