It's good to want closure - It's exactly what you're doing. You shouldn't feel stupid for sending the e-mail - you did the right thing. You should make up with her, showing that you don't have any hard feelings towards her anymore. After that, you would've made amends and you would've showed that you forgave her - but this doesn't mean that you necessary have to be her friend afterwards. Sometimes it's best to part ways with some people - but at least, when you part, make sure it's a peaceful and good parting. Should she not want to accept your invitation you should just forget about the whole story. You tried on your side and knowing that should set your heart at ease. God loves peace-makers and people who willingly forgive others - you're a good person for doing this
"Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9
"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" Matthew 6:14
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Well maybe if you do meet up and talk to her about what happened you can then decided how you want to go with the relationship. If you do become friends with her it will never be the same because of what happened.
Forgive her. Just like you did your boyfriend. But don't let her back into your life like she was before. Forgive her, and keep her at a distance. Then move on (and, in my opinion, dont let her become much of your friend again. Like not harsh or anything, but i would only talk to her maybe wheb necessary?) But don't get all buddy-buddy with her again. She's not worth it.
Well, meeting up and talking is the way to go. Try to get her side of the story. Both your boyfriend and her are equally guilty. She is no best friend if she sleeps with your boyfriend and then does not even apologize for it. So, talk to her but you do not have reoncile if you do not feel like it. Do bring a closure to this though otherwise you would not have sent the email.
I think it's fine that you and your ex are still friends but don't ever date him again. I think the people being harsh on you for forgiving him don't realize that you're not still in a relationship, since your post made it seem as though you continued the relationship.
I wouldn't forgive her if she never apologized. Forgiving someone for something they haven't indicated they're sorry for is stupid. I don't know what the person above me is smoking but don't apologize to her. What the fuck did you do that you have to apologize for?
Blaming the "other woman" for a cheating man's infidelity is stupid, sexist, self-destructive toward all women, and just plain incorrect. That doesn't exactly seem to be what happened here, but it's close to it and that's what people here are having a problem with, so just stay aware of what their separate wrongs against you actually are.
He cheated on you. She did not cheat on you. The end of your relationship is not her fault in any way; it is your ex-boyfriend's fault, no matter how much you might want to blame the person he cheated on you with. She was not in the relationship, therefore she was not unfaithful to the relationship.
However, since she was your friend she did basically cheat on your friendship, and that similarly is her fault and not your ex-boyfriend's fault.
The main reason I had to forgive him was because I pretty much saw him everyday as we took the same course at college. And I have no idea what I have to apologise for. I realise that I'm wrong for blaming her and keeping a grudge against her, but I did blame him also. It's just that he did at least say sorry.
It's not stupid that you sent the e-mail. It's smart. Just be brave. You can do this. Just hear her side of the story. Also, are you and your boyfriend still dating, 'cause he's a cheater. You deserve better than a cheating, disloyal, back-stabbing boyfriend.
You probably shouldn't have, however, forgiving your boyfriend and then not her is double standards, your boyfriend is supposed to be more loyal, all you're doing is directing the hate to her for what HE did. He still stuck his penis inside of her, sure she was stupid selfish and awful. However, he is YOUR boyfriend.
Did you get an STD test after you found out? Also how on earth can you ever forgive him again. Once a cheat, always a cheat.