Doing the right thing.

~ThISoMessedUp Dec 28, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

I don't know how to start so here we go.

Last night I sent an email to my ex best friend out of a moment of madness. been thinking about it for a few weeks, but I got the courage. We haven't spoken in 2 years because my boyfriend and her slept together. I forgave my boyfriend because he was generally sorry. I never heard a sorry from her we exchanged some nasty words and I cut all contact with her. She never understood why and why she was getting the blame for it. I know it sounds harsh, but it's easy to blame the person you don't love.

Anyway, as I said, I sent her an email last night. I don't know if it's still the email she uses but this is what I sent.

'Hey.

I don't know if you use these emails any more, but it's worth a go. You've blocked messages being sent to you by non friends on Facebook so what choice do I have?

It's been hard deciding if I wanted to get back in touch with you again and whether I was ready to or not. I've been playing around with the the idea for a few weeks now and I've just plucked up the courage to write this email.

I think we need to meet up and properly talk. If you don't want too, that's fine. It's took me a while to talk myself into this, so I can easily talk myself out of it again, but I think it would do us both good.

Let me know what you think.'

Now I'm questioning my actions. I don't know if I'm ready to face up to it yet. I feel I can forgive her, but I'm not the type that will ever trust her again. I feel stupid for sending that email.

You can no longer comment on this thread as it was closed due to no activity for a month.

Devious Comments

~saykha Jan 3, 2013 Student Writer

It's good to want closure - It's exactly what you're doing. You shouldn't feel stupid for sending the e-mail - you did the right thing. You should make up with her, showing that you don't have any hard feelings towards her anymore. After that, you would've made amends and you would've showed that you forgave her - but this doesn't mean that you necessary have to be her friend afterwards. Sometimes it's best to part ways with some people - but at least, when you part, make sure it's a peaceful and good parting.
Should she not want to accept your invitation you should just forget about the whole story. You tried on your side and knowing that should set your heart at ease. God loves peace-makers and people who willingly forgive others - you're a good person for doing this

"Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God." Matthew 5:9

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you" Matthew 6:14

To give your life to Jesus Christ, please read the following [link]

~Nairoze Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Photographer

Well maybe if you do meet up and talk to her about what happened you can then decided how you want to go with the relationship. If you do become friends with her it will never be the same because of what happened.

~redlipstick444 Jan 1, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Forgive her. Just like you did your boyfriend. But don't let her back into your life like she was before. Forgive her, and keep her at a distance. Then move on (and, in my opinion, dont let her become much of your friend again. Like not harsh or anything, but i would only talk to her maybe wheb necessary?) But don't get all buddy-buddy with her again. She's not worth it.

=BasiliskX89 Dec 30, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

Well, meeting up and talking is the way to go. Try to get her side of the story. Both your boyfriend and her are equally guilty. She is no best friend if she sleeps with your boyfriend and then does not even apologize for it. So, talk to her but you do not have reoncile if you do not feel like it. Do bring a closure to this though otherwise you would not have sent the email.

~ThISoMessedUp Dec 31, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

True, thanks

=BasiliskX89 Dec 31, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

You are welcome

~RavynneNevyrmore Dec 30, 2012 Student Digital Artist

I think it's fine that you and your ex are still friends but don't ever date him again. I think the people being harsh on you for forgiving him don't realize that you're not still in a relationship, since your post made it seem as though you continued the relationship.

I wouldn't forgive her if she never apologized. Forgiving someone for something they haven't indicated they're sorry for is stupid. I don't know what the person above me is smoking but don't apologize to her. What the fuck did you do that you have to apologize for?

Blaming the "other woman" for a cheating man's infidelity is stupid, sexist, self-destructive toward all women, and just plain incorrect. That doesn't exactly seem to be what happened here, but it's close to it and that's what people here are having a problem with, so just stay aware of what their separate wrongs against you actually are.

He cheated on you. She did not cheat on you. The end of your relationship is not her fault in any way; it is your ex-boyfriend's fault, no matter how much you might want to blame the person he cheated on you with. She was not in the relationship, therefore she was not unfaithful to the relationship.

However, since she was your friend she did basically cheat on your friendship, and that similarly is her fault and not your ex-boyfriend's fault.

~ThISoMessedUp Dec 31, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

The main reason I had to forgive him was because I pretty much saw him everyday as we took the same course at college. And I have no idea what I have to apologise for. I realise that I'm wrong for blaming her and keeping a grudge against her, but I did blame him also. It's just that he did at least say sorry.

~RavynneNevyrmore Dec 31, 2012 Student Digital Artist

You have nothing to apologize for. Someone else said she was waiting for you to apologize and red flags and alarms went off. Don't do that.

~ThISoMessedUp Dec 31, 2012 Hobbyist Photographer

Don't worry. I'm not. Haha, thanks for your advice though

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