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December 27, 2012
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I am not happy with my life

:iconmythicsonofgod:
MYTHICSONOFGOD Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Truth be told I am not happy with my life. I am in fact a bag full of regrets. I hate my self a lot and I feel alone

I was bullied my whole childhood and friendless until high school. I went to a christian school and I was literally friendless. It was a nightmare for me.

In high school I discovered that people could like me but I was too shy to go to parties or make meaningful connections with people.

When I graduated from high school I still have my greatest regret that keeps haunting me. I didn't to the test to enter the public university UNAM the most prestigious school in latin america. I was too scared of my future and I chose the most expensive school in my country ITESM for my dream carrer law.

But Now I regret that decision too because even tough I chose the most expensive school, I think it might not be the best at my chosen carrer law. I have some crappy teachers, bad schedule and very little classmates.

I feel bad because I fear that I made my family waste their money on super expensive school that is not even the best, I feel guilty when I see my dad over working for me to be a great lawyer (we didn't had christmas presents this year, for school fee's ). I fear that I will fail and not become a great lawyer., I fear that it won't be worth it. I have 2 years before graduation so it's too late to give up

I regret the fact that I wasn't able to get a scholarship

My dad is having financial troubles and I fear i am just being a burden with my tuiton fears

I also feel so very alone. Not just because I have very few classmates. It's also because I only have one good friend at college. Don't think I am antisocial, I am not so shy anymore.

I just wish I could go with a bunch of guys/friends to the movies and laugh, to drink coffe at starbucks and generally have fun, people to trust and not to protect myself. But I just didn't had close bonds with any of my classmates :( expectp t one good friend I barely see at school.

I feel like I am not doing anything with my life and that I am no progressing with anything, even my art has gotten stuck I do nothing but feel sorry for myself.

I seriously need help. I am not happy with my life at all :(. I needed to get out that of my chest sorry for all the angst :(.
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Student General Artist
things might be hard right now, but they won't always be hard. And look at it this way, things don't go wrong to make you bitter, they go wrong to break you down and build you up in order to make you the one you are supposed to be, because only through trials of suffering can humans achieve what they really want. Learn from your past, always, but don't live it again. What you went through in your past is your experience, maybe it was bad, but you also learned a lot, and that is never wrong. And yes you are human, you are supposed to make flaws, everybody does. You can't possibly know the right thing from the beginning. And you know something else, I have regretted things I didn't do much more than things I did. Even if they were bad. I was introverted like you back then, and so what? it was me back then, another version, my character has changed since then, a lot. Don't focus on your past, focus on your future, and a lot on your present, as they say "yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift". Plan for the future, but also live each day as if it was the last one.
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:iconjstar19000:
JStar19000 Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope you're feeling a little better over the past 3 days.
And i'm probably useless because I've never experienced this kind of stuff but...

I would come over there and sit on the couch and eat cake and watch your favorite TV shows with you if i could...
But really... I can't.
So YOU have to be nice to YOU because I can't.

Do you promise me you will would?

Good! :D
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:iconrene-l:
Rene-L Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Professional General Artist
Stop dweling with what you do not like, start doing things to make your goals happen, remember there are doors that close and others that open, the difference is what you do stare at the closed doors or rush to the new open ones.
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:iconmayjackson:
MayJackson Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012
I'm in graduate school too, with 2 and 2/3 more years to go before I'm done and have opportunity to get a good, well-paying job. I don't have any friends. Honestly, friends are easier to maintain with free time and money, which is what both of us will have when we graduate. Hang in there. Appreciate the friends you do have. Spend the time you're using feeling sorry for yourself either studying or working on your art. As for your family's financial problems, you'll be able to pay them back in two years. They're counting on that too. So hang in there. It WILL get better. :) You just have to get through school. Focus on becoming an excellent (or at least competent) lawyer, and everything else will fall into place.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Well not everyone that graduates from law school becomes a lawyer, knowing the law helps you in a wide variety of things. So think it like this: now your family spends a lot of money on you but after you graduate, even if you don't do the exact job that you studied for, you will be able to pay them back. And if you don't want to pay them back rightaway, think it like they are investing on a good pension. When they get old you can take care of them.

Even if you think that law is not the thing for you, don't forget that you can always study a second or third time later. You still have time.

Even if you are failing at your classes, you can always ask for help from or befriend your instructors. They usually like directing students. Besides if your peers are not very good friends, maybe your teachers are.

And yeah if you are not shy than just take a shot and befriend someone. A good time always helps and loneliness is actually the base of all human problem.
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:iconmythicsonofgod:
MYTHICSONOFGOD Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
thank you very much for the advice
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
np :)
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
What exactly do you want?
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:iconmythicsonofgod:
MYTHICSONOFGOD Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
peace in my heart
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
More precisely, what do you want?
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