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December 26, 2012
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My Mom tells me I NEED makeup to look nice

:iconsexlessdemon:
SexlessDemon Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Whenever I don't wear makeup she tells me I NEED it. "You look tired" "You look too pale"
I had a job for a while and I would go not wearing makeup and always had a clean uniform and my hair pulled back neatly.
After leaving that job I got a new one where I was able to dress up. My mother said "You always went to your old job looking hideous."

One thing that really bothers me is that she constantly complains about my scent. I shower and brush my teeth regularly as well as floss and gargle but she always says "You don't smell fresh" or "your breath stinks", even when she's far from me.

My friends and I are very honest with each other and whenever they smell bad I let them know and they do the same for me. However, no one really ever complains about my scent and they usually always compliment me. I get nervous about letting people close to me because my mom always says I smell bad.
They don't know how bad my mom makes me feel about it so I'm certain they aren't being dishonest to spare my feelings. Even strangers have complimented my looks and scent on days my mom said I either smelled bad (which is every day) or needed makeup.

I don't tan or try to wear fake tanners and my mom always tells me that I am TOO pale. Whenever she says something about me needing makeup or a tan I say "I'm perfectly happy with how I look."

I really am generally pleased with my natural appearance. The only thing I disliked was my frizzy hair, but after trying the "no shampoo" hair washing routine several people suggested, my hair is no longer the frizzy mess it was.

My mom is very kind and sacrifices so much so that I can have a good life so I know she cares about me but these comments are hurtful. I know she doesn't say these things to hurt me and thinks in a way she's helping. I tell tell her I don't like being told I need makeup or that I smell even after I have washed up and she usually just says "Well you obviously didn't wash up enough" or "you're being too sensitive".

I have no idea how to get her to stop. She's even made comments about me looking "weird" or "crazy" in front of my boyfriend. It's so embarrassing but he always assures me that I look nice.

Does anyone else have this type of issue?
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Devious Comments

:iconreasonablerobot:
ReasonableRobot Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
tell her to fuck off and that outer beauty is a primitive tribal tradition followed by savages.
what you think of yourself is important. what others think is of little consequence.
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:iconthilu:
Thilu Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
That's so mean... At a time, I weighed 7 kilos more than I do now, which was 65 kilos, (I am 160 cm long) and she kept telling me that I looked fat. I really got hurt actually but I started exercising and now, when I look at old pictures I am glad she said it. Because saying "honey I love you but you need to exercise a bit, you will feel better", that would not have made me exercise. Do you know what I mean? Also she sometimes say I look ugly in some of my tops or t-shirts, but I just say that she look ugly too and then we laugh so I don't think she really means it in a hard way.

But try to talk to her, I had to talk to my mother and say that I actually got hurt and she said that she didn't mean it like that. The best you can do is talk it out with her!
Good luck :hug:
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:iconstarlit-sorceress:
Starlit-Sorceress Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Professional Artisan Crafter
Tell her exactly how she makes you feel. Be polite, but honest and blunt.
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:iconcatderson:
catderson Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I can totally relate!!

My mom doesn't criticize me about make-up, but I seriously can't remember the last time I went out without wearing any! I'm a ginger and my eyelashes are blonde so it makes my eyes look puny...I was so down on myself so putting on makeup become like, a routine since about the 5th grade. :S

Sometimes I wish I had just never started wearing it in the first place.

But this is not your case!! If you feel confident without any makeup, show it to the world, girl! Let them know you love yourself and your natural looks, and you don't give a damn what they think!!
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:iconimdsound:
IMDSound Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013  Student Digital Artist
She's probably jealous of your youth, I'm not joking. If you look in the mirror and are happy with what you see then live and be happy! Don't let anything take that away from you.
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:iconshidaku:
Shidaku Featured By Owner Jan 11, 2013
Well, considering you haven't posted up a dozen whoreish pictures of yourself on your page, you either have enough self respect to not give a damn, or you're ugly as shit. So either take your mom's advice or tell her to piss off.
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:iconlucy-merriman:
Lucy-Merriman Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Student General Artist
Okay, so, first off, nobody needs make-up to look pretty. Not even if you have scars on your face or something. It's just you, and it sounds like you do a great job of "owning it" already! Honestly, I know far more people who look worse with make-up than without because they don't blend well or use clashing colors.

Secondly, it sounds like you're doing a good job handling it, so, you know. Keep on truckin'. My best guess? Your mom loves you. But she loves you in a way that makes her want your to be great, possibly even perfect. You're not perfect, and that bothers her. But she'll get over it eventually :)
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:iconwandereratheart:
WandererAtHeart Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013
I don't say I have this issue and I'm also a little bit of a smart ass so if my mom said I needed a tan I'd say I'm going for the vampire look. If you think you look fine and smell fine then you probably do and your mom might just be too hung up on appearances and she might want you to look a certain way but that's her issue and not yours. If everyone else thinks you look fine then you're doing something right and one person's comment, and it doesn't matter whose, does not cancel that out. Just remember to stay happy with yourself and her opinion is not the most important one, yours is.
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:iconlauracallsen:
LauraCallsen Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
your mother shouldn't talk to you like that. It's not okay. Let her know these comments hurt you. With words she just can't misunderstand like " Mom, please stop this. It really hurts to hear this all the time. How would you feel, if I tell you every day how tired you look and that you're getting older? That is not okay mom" If she doesn't want to understand this and keeps on with this, change your attitude. Don't let her push you down. You have a mouth you're allowed to speak with and you have words that are allowed to be heard. If you like your face without make up you're allowed to tell her exactly this. If you like how your hair looks, you're allowed to say: No Mom, I like my hair today. Keep your head up. Nobody, not even your mother, can give inferiority feelings, if you don't allow them to do so.
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:iconbonbonjelly:
bonbonjelly Featured By Owner Jan 10, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Maybe she's jealous of you being this young and pretty and thinks she never had all that..?
Just guessing, I can be wrong....
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