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December 25, 2012
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how to move on from mind games?

:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist
I've vented to my friends about some of this stuff, and I sorted things out with him (him being guy I was in a 6 month relationship with). I feel like there is closure with the dress I mentioned in an earlier thread and things have been decided upon; the very last phone conversation we had started with a weird edge to it but ended nicely. He's not trying to get back together with him now that he's with someone else. Neither of us feels we should see each other again, and I am a bit more at peace.

The thoughts that linger though is: Given what I know of his capacity for mind games and his crossing certain personal boundaries, I feel a bit of a baser emotion regarding how others feel about him. I kinda thought 'should keep that dirty laundry away from sight' but I am a little upset at the idea that there are people who have not a clue as to how weird he behaved with me.

He's someone who is perfectly fine with exposing others' flaws; should I get all retributive and do the same? Or just stick with cutting him and his immediate circle out and moving to a completely separate life? (am going overseas anyway)
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:iconmachinesbleedtoo:
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Who gives a fuck, what you say about him to other people is only going to make you seem like the bad guy (and really- what people behave like to each person depends on their interactions alone so it'd be selfish and vindictive too.) It's none of their business, and they'll find out in time and make their own decisions if he is a total ahole to them. Like everyone else has said move on. Cut contact and forget about it, not worth the drama dude. :/

And you don't really have grounds for legal action because you keep baiting his harassment by talking to him.
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Hobbyist
Have severed. Am moving on.
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:iconmachinesbleedtoo:
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
:highfive: <3
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2013  Hobbyist
:D
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Move on, that's the only way to get closure.
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist
Thanks dude
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Given what I know of his capacity for mind games and his crossing certain personal boundaries, I feel a bit of a baser emotion regarding how others feel about him. I kinda thought 'should keep that dirty laundry away from sight' but I am a little upset at the idea that there are people who have not a clue as to how weird he behaved with me

I know a person or two like that. It's very, very frustrating when the rest of the world thinks the sun shines out of a person's ass and you're apparently the only one who has seen through their bullshit to the disgusting person they really are underneath the phony exterior.


He's someone who is perfectly fine with exposing others' flaws; should I get all retributive and do the same? Or just stick with cutting him and his immediate circle out and moving to a completely separate life? (am going overseas anyway)

The latter. I saw a quote the other day that said, "The best revenge is being perfectly happy and having a great life without them." Especially since you're moving overseas, so there's little opportunity for him to continue to screw with your life (a luxury I don't have in my own predicament, unfortunately).

Forget him and be happy overseas. If you're not happy, fake it. Unsubscribe to his statuses on Facebook but don't remove him as a friend, so that you don't have to be reminded of his bullshit but he can see how happy you are without him.
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 1, 2013
oh i thought you defended the idea that women should be able to dress up in a sexy way that emphasizes their best physical qualities to attract men and that somehow had nothing to do with how the men should judge those womens personalities? why the sudden 180c turn?
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013  Student Digital Artist
What in the hell are you talking about?
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:iconsiegeonthorstadt:
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2013
;)
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist
Thank you. He's not on my friends list anymore. I'll probably be back in the country at some point but not for a good while.

Part of me still thinks he's not a completely bad person and I've seen some evidence that he can change; however it's not in my best interests to think too much about it, let alone resume contact.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
:thumbsup:
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012   Photographer
I'm not aware of your previous thread so I don't know the background to the situation, but if you're moving overseas anyway it sounds like this is the perfect opportunity to cut unhealthy relationships out of your life and get a fresh start :aww:
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist
In terms of background...what started as a close and trusting friendship probably shouldn't have gone further than that; I don't think we were ever really that suited to each other and I was emotionally detached for most of the relationship. He got frustrated over this and got possessive, and more guilt tripping and manipulation came into play as the relationship progessed, even after it ended, including angry texts and calls, wanting to 'settle the score' with a friend of mine I'd been talking to about the situation (after we broke up), trying to get intimate after we broke up.

Like I said in the OP I think the last call ended relatively amicably and he even said I was within my rights to take legal action if he were to infringe on my life any more, but recalling some of the strange sh!t he pulled makes me feel ick, as well as the weirder parts of his worldview that I'm afraid people buy or give the benefit of the doubt to.
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist
Oh, the previous thread was just about my indecision to keep a dress he bought me; didn't really discuss anything other than that.

Cheers, thanks for that :)
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist
I may have grounds for legal action, but will probably not pursue that path. I had wanted to be friends with the girl he's currently with (we had met earlier), but unfortunately the circumstances make it pretty awkward.
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:iconfirstxaidxkit:
FIRSTxAIDxKIT Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
If you're going overseas, why would you plague yourself with useless drama? Move on.
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:iconlollipopsocks:
lollipopsocks Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist
Tru dat. I'm feeling better now anyway; these thoughts come up every once in a while though.

Cheers.
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