You didn't do anything wrong here - you thought the best of your father and disbelieved accusations levelled at him, which is what a lot of people would do in that situation. You were deceived and you feel understandably hurt, as well as alienated from the rest of your family. None of that is your fault. Now that you know the truth, maybe try talking to close family members about the situation and how you feel to see if you can find support there.
It might be worth looking for a support group - online or something local - for people in your situation. As I don't know exactly what the situation is I can't offer any specific links here but there are support groups for most things and being surrounded by people (even in the virtual world) who can relate to what you're going through in a non-judgmental context would probably really help.
You may also want to consider some sort of talk therapy to help you work through how you're feeling at the moment. Maybe you could ask your GP for a referral so you can talk to someone who is qualified to help you help yourself.
Remembering that you were lied to to keep you safe and sound sometimes helps. My father lies about tons of things. He thinks that saying these things will keep me safe, as if the truth is some kind of monster that might harm you. Not that it is, and more often that not, lying makes things worse.
But it's like the case about the neighbour's dog and the man's daughter (Whereas the dog, a ferocious looking pup is overtop the man's daughter and she's screaming. He throws the dog off of her and he lands in the pool and dies. Turns out he was only licking her face, not eating her.) What do you judge? The intention or the action?
Get professional help. ASAP. Im not saying this make you feel like you're crazy or like your problems don't matter...they do. You obviously need help and a bunch of faceless people on the internet (especially on a website that's soul purpose is NOT this whatsoever) is not going to help. Im not going to even give you advice on what to do except for this because I have no idea what you're going through...no on here does or is capable of helping you. Stop reading these comments...at least the ones after mine, forget you posted ANYTHING about this at all online, and go seek a therapist or someone who is at least an unbiased listener who you feel comfortable enough to express ALL the details with and thus be able to fully help you cope. Im sorry if this seemed to blunt or came off as rude. SOmetimes you need a good hypothetical slap in the face.
Here is some truth - people lie, people hide the truth maybe to make someone feel better and not be bitter. I think what you haven't done is just simply ask the person directly that you have concerns about- your father. But if you find out it was all a lie, don't take it out on your dad or yell at him. He and the others probably did it to spare you pain and all.
This is a very tough situation, but I will advice you to talk it over, be it a very close friend or your family members, who you now realize were saying the truth all this while. Holding on to emotions is not good for anyone, so try to lighten up.
So your fault is being too trusting, I could think of worse things. Your family will forgive you in time, they always do, you'll have to try to forgive yourself for whatever you may have done to them and apologize. I'm sure if you had more information you would have handled it differently but you didn't, you can't expect to be responsible for that and it's unreasonable for anybody to expect more of you.
It takes time and it probably takes a comprehensive redistribution of trust, which takes even more time. look for and determine which people you really can trust and move your trust into their hands. It is Hard.
I think one of the first things to do is to come to terms with it, to either talk to someone or write down your feelings about it. Sort it out in your head.
It can't be easy to be in such a mess but you need to find the stable points in your life and focus on them while you sort this out, mostly for yourself. Sort out your bitterness and all that and the best way to do so is up to you, it can be to listen to loads of angry music, to make abstract dark painting, write or talk or whatever you can come up with.
So uh, even though everyone around you is telling you what you don't want to hear, which is most likely the truth, you still refuse to believe that he was put in jail rightly? Eight years is a pretty hefty sentence, considering.
1. stop cursing at me 2. there was no solid evidence 3. people lie. it was word against word. 4. It's not like you can just "get out of denial" or "get over it" like that. It's why I asked for help. You're not helping.
No, I really do though. Unless you want to hear the generic, "oh it's okay, just forgive him and move on." Because ya know what? If he did something bad enough to land him in jail for eight fucking years, and your family was telling you the truth as verified by your mother, and you actually denied it and turned it around on your family, then I really have no advice and you probably won't get the advice that you're looking for.
There are better ways of giving advice that don't require detail. What right do you have to judge her and her life, or what's happened in it, ESPECIALLY when you don't need the details? You would be amazed by the number of people who get wrongly accused. She has a lot of heart and courage for posting this, and for believing in her had so strongly. I pity the fact that you don't seem to have that same strength and belief
To Solar: I'm sorry I posted all of this as a comment on your journal. If the commentator above me makes a response, I will not be replying to him. I'd hate to spark a huge argument on your page, but at the same time I felt the need to say something. Sorry about that.
You feel like your foundations have crumbled, so your best betis ti find new ones; foundations that you can truly believe and trust in, no matter what they are (members of your famulyfriends, etc. You just need something stable and reliable in your life right now.)
If you aren't going to put details, then how can you expect anybody to be able to help? Look, unfortunately the only advice I can give you is to give yourself time. Let out your emotions, don't bottle them up. You'll feel better in time.
The details aren't really important. It's pretty much how do you deal with finding out that what you thought was solid truth is really a lie, and what you thought was a lie indefinitely is really the truth. The little details don't really matter.