This will happen a lot, and you need to pick up the pieces. It's okay, here for you. We've all been through this "friend zone" once in our life. I know I have and it sucks. Huge let down, but it just means she's not the girl for you. We all have one soulmate, so find her. You deserve a great girl.
Dude. A guy can care for a girl without her deserving it. If she is that cruel to you, there is a reason. You're fifteen, dude. Of all the millions of women out there, you will find one that loves you back. DON'T SETTLE. The biggest mistake people make is thinking that they DESERVE a jerk/jerkette. You've got a lot of life to live; don't spend it pining after someone. Quantum physics? Biology? Kid, you're smarter than this. Believe in who you are; you're a smart, independent kid who doesn't need to be begging for the attention of a girl who obviously likes toying with you. My apologies if this is rude, but this is my opinion.
We need to get rid of the term "friend zoned" once and for all...its an obvious clue that you are too immature to be in a relationship to begin with. It doesnt even sound like shes a good "friend" either at this point if she's laughing in your face but by the same token a female is not vending machine that you can put in kindness coins, press a button and get what you want out out of her. If she doesn't like you she doesn't like you. I can tell she is out of your league already and I haven't even met either one of you. Grow up and get over it.
I want you to know that this is going to happen to you a lot in your lifetime. The woman who makes you feel special will be the one to make you feel like crap for the next few days. Let me tell you that they are NOT worth it. They are human, like you and me, as well as any other girl you'll find out there. She is not special, and if she led you on, then she is a whore.
The world is filled with bitches. You will find them everywhere, and very seldom will you find a woman as much worth your time as you are hers. Girls will lead you on, and you need to keep your heart closed sometime until you and her progressed far enough to know she's for real.
Be friends, but don't let yourself fall in love too easily. It's reasonable to let your feelings out so you don't have to keep holding it in, but if she says no, don't cling to hope; the girl changing her mind to fall in love with you only happens in movies. And if she's been playing with your heart, she's not even worth your friendship.
People like who they like. It can't be helped really. You can't help but like her, and she can't help but like someone else, or can't force herself to like you back. Learning to let go, and that things will operate completely different from how you want them, is incredibly important in life.
I will say you have my sympathies OP. You're young, inexperienced, and learning. What you need to do now, is try to move on.
Probably the best thing you can do, and the most mature thing you can do, is learn to look to things and enjoy them without expectations. When you go to do something, DON'T expect anything, and go into it trying to enjoy it. This will be difficult to do at first, but trust me OP, it is an AMAZING, and satisfying way to live, and best of all, you will be free from disappointment and the sadness that goes with it.
For example, you meet a girl. You like her. You be honest. You invite her to do things, to be a friend, or to go on a date. You ask her these things, but you learn to be OK with her saying no to all of them. You leave the ball in her court. You leave her free to act as naturally as she likes, and because you weren't expecting anything, you won't be disappointed. Then, IF she says yes, that's freakin' awesome.
Trust me, it's a much happier and more fulfilling way to live. This way, you'll never be friendzoned, and can honestly enjoy having females as friends. Without all the jealousy, resentment, guilt and regret too.
BAD APPROACH: Be friends second. Feel 'friendzoned', and unable to deal with jealousy, regret, unfilled yearnings. GOOD APPROACH: Be friends first. You can be happy it you stay friends, and be happier if it leads to something more.
sorry if its late, but anyone who likes george carlin, especially at your age, deserves a bit of knowledge.
first, more carlin in your life. read his books. hes funny, yes, but hes also right. and if you havent already, get some bill hicks in your life. he has a book as well. comedy and comedians will drastically help.
second: just because she doesnt see the GOODNESS you do or can do, doesnt make you worthless. if she cant see the awesome things you do, shes not for you. i know how you feel. i truly do, and i beat myself up for it, much like you do. the best thing you can do is succeed and be happy. be the most successful you can be and as happy as you can be. later in life, people will will see this. it will be up to you to decide if you still want these people in your life or to let them watch from a distance.
if youre into quantum physics and biology, KEEP AT IT. when the time is right, you will find a girl that likes you for you.
strive for bettering yourself. the ladies are secondary. dont fall in love until the time is right. and right now, is far from the right time
Keep studying, getting a well paying job will get you ahead in life.
As for the girl. Be honest. Is she thinner than you? Is she more fit than you? Does she look after her appearance and buy better clothes? If so, I'm sure you know some girls that are fatter, dumpier, and don't look after their appearance, who have hearts of gold and personalities fit to outshine anyone's. Why aren't you going after them?
If you want someone thin, fit, and attractive who buys/wears expensive or pretty things, then YOU have to be thin, fit, attractive, and look after your appearance. I'm 140 lbs, 5'5", and I like thin guys. (I ONLY like thin guys.) I know that I have to lose weight. It's just how it works.
I know I'm assuming a lot about this situation, but that's usually how it is. If I'm wrong, sorry. (But if you're thin and fit, you'd have girls falling over you, so...) Working out is not the end of the world, you've just got to do it if that's what you want in a partner. Or, you decide that you *don't* want to work out or lose weight, and you decide at the same moment that you're okay with less fit people too. Those are your two options. Well, a third: keep chasing people that are more fit than you and keep being sad about it.
I also know that's heavy for a 15 year old. You're going to change a lot just as you age, but what I told you is a good piece of advice that you need to keep in mind. Just remember that you have time, and like everyone is say, there will be more girls!! You'll meet new people. This girl doesn't have to be 'the one.' And from the sounds of it, she's not. Do you really want someone who knows you and still wouldn't like you? Noooo. You're worth more than that.
Then she's dumb. You'll find better people. People who don't like you, aren't worth your time. It's your decision whether you want to keep her as a friend or not - if I were you and had feelings for this girl, I'd probably opt to not.
While the situation does suck, once she says 'no' that's it, and she's not obligated to like you more than just a friend and she's free to like any other guy she wants. I'm sorry, but if you really liked the friendship that's been going on for the past two years, it shouldn't make you feel like nothing (yes, rejection is depressing to get over, but once you get over it, it's worth just being friends). If you've only been sticking with her in hopes 'one day she'll suddenly want to go out with you,' that's a dick move and you may as well get out of the friendship, painful as that sounds, because you would not be there for the correct reasons. In a friendship, you can still care about her, but eventually, you definitely have to accept that she's not into you and move on, otherwise, once she goes out with someone else, it's going to make for an awkward situation and you may even end up resenting her for it (thus, ending the once good friendship you've had).
Nightshade255Featured By OwnerDec 27, 2012Hobbyist Digital Artist
Dude, it happens. And its shitty. But to be honest, your future is more important than getting your dick sucked. If youre taking quantum physics then I assume youre a pretty smart guy in post secondary, and you need all the time you can get to focus on your studies. Get a tad drunk, write a shitty poem or something, take a day or two for yourself to chillax and listen to some good tunes and whatnot, and then get your head back in the game.
Also, now you can start hitting on other chicks to make her jealous. Do the cat string theory; dont talk to her for about a week, or two even. She will come back to you, and you can try and gain your second chance.
It does happen. Even though it really hurts now, you'll be okay. Don't base every accomplishment you've done on what happened; you sound like a smart person and she missed out Also, if she laughed at you when you told her, it doesn't sound like she's a really nice friend either. Good luck and keep strong
Buddy, you're 15. Take it from me, this is one girl. Move on. There will be others.
If it irks you, know this, women of all ages/races/personalities/walks of life are hopelessly complicated creatures. No matter what you do you will never be able to fully understand them. They second guess your motives and wonder about double meanings at every turn in the road and plenty in between.
You just have to find a girl who's a little more comprehensible to you than the rest of them. Do not act like a romantic comedy, it will NOT work and will only make you feel like even more of a loser. Being sweet doesn't work either, come on confident, and come on strong (but not asshole strong)
Haha friend don't worry. When you are at the end year or in middle of university, people will get in line to bed you. She will be stuck with whatever miscalculated alpha male misconception she fantasized about and will live a life full of regret and alcohol\pills, while you will be having harem of harems. Smart people always win, don't forget this fact. Although if you don't get stuck at the confidentlesness she shot at you, I'm sure you will find many worthy lovers way before university.
Women grow up weak. That's why they focus on hurting guys trough these indirect and unphysical methods. Don't get stuck at such childish level. There are many girls who are actually decent.
You can be friends with a girl, but if you act like a friend there's only a small chance that she will wake up and suddenly get into you. We, girls, have a lot of feelings, we're really complicated, but we all like to be praised and feel safe on a guy's side. It's a female's instinct that we, even at the age 15 get attracted to guys who we think, they could protect us, they will care a lot, and be a good father to children. I'm sure you could get her but then you need to change a bit, and be manlier. It may sound harsh, but...>.<
I didn't like her reaction though. I wouldn't laugh at anybody's feelings. There is a guy which likes me, always finds me on bus and such, but I'm totally not attracted to him and even love another guy. I'm trying to not act so close and get false hopes for him. He hasn't told me the things though, I would never laugh. It has 2 sides for me, I don't know if she has the second one, too. First: "I'm in the place where I need to be, in the "zone" of girls they find attractive", second: "Damn, I don' wanna hurt him, he really hopes even after I'm not that close, friendly to him, but I love another person anyway"Anyway, in thoughts, girls will have you. Loving someone and being loved by someone isn't a thing which is easy to forget and not to think about.
Which can mean hope, is your age. You can either find a better girl, or be with her at all, but not now. You both will change and improve a lot. Experience, feeling of years really change you guys a lot. Maybe her feelings change, too. You can never know. I believe if 2 people are meant to be, they will end up together anyway, no matter what happens.
You know what they say, there are other girls waiting for you that are scattered throughout the world. However, I know how it feels to be friend-zone'd. Yeah, its hard to concentrate on two things, but more importantly think about your studies first, then the girl!
I remember I have this guy I loved and my grades went down when I got too distracted. SO don't be like me, k? xD
There are 3 billion+ other girls out there. Go find another one. Also, the friendzone doesn't exist. I hope that you will grow enough in the next few years, so that when you look back at your life and think about this thread, you will be absolutely mortified.
A relationship may seem like the most important thing at this age, but trust me, it's not. Seeing as I neither know her nor you, I do not dare say I could give you an advice you should definitely follow.
The "out of the league" mentality had caused suffering throughout the centuries and had often been a theme of literature. Such as Schiller's "Intrigue and Love." Laughing about it is a serious sign of disrespect. That is yet another point where I would question it.
Whether or not you go after her truly is up to you. By picking your advisors you had already made the decision.
Yet truly there is no reason in stopping everything you do just because of that. Why should that be a reason? Don't make it one.
Being friendzoned is better than you think, really. You might not notice that, but it is a promise of long term relation with a girl. Maybe not the way you want it to, but at least you are close to her. And friends are more important than love.
You're 15, you'll get over it and realize that any relationship in high school will most likely end when you go to college anyway. (Unless you're like me and my boyfriend, who went to high school together and now go to the same college....but that's besides the point!) You're just going to have to accept that just because you like someone doesn't mean the feelings are automatically going to be reciprocated--that doesn't mean you shouldn't try! I actually commend you for telling her your feelings, it's a good habit to have to be honest and open with the people you care about. But it sounds like this girl is just a bitch and you wouldn't want someone like that in your life anyway.
That was lovely. I saw this forum post and wanted to say similar things, but this tumblr post just does such an excellent job of denouncing the "friend zone". THERE IS NONE. THERE ARE FRIENDS WHO HAPPEN TO BE FEMALE. LEARN TO APPRECIATE ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS NOT JUST THE ONES WHERE YOU GET TO DO SEX.
Listen. This "friend zone" thing? It's bullshit, made-up shit, made-up by whiny, entitled little boys who can't handle rejection.
There's no such thing as "friend zone". What it actually means is that she's just not into you. Sometimes it happens that you like someone and they don't like you back. It happens. It's life. There's nothing you can do about it, just suck it up and move on.
And if she seriously told you you're "out of her league" then you should tell her to go fuck herself. People who believe there are "leagues" are worthless morons. What it actually means is "I'm more popular/conventionally attractive/wealthy, therefore I think I'm better than you".