Oh, she made a mistake and then ignored and avoided you, she's the worst friend ever. I think you're a pretty bad friend, not reassuring her that you didn't think poorly of her for her mistake. You can't support friends in rough situations? You can't reassure them it's okay? Nope, you just want to kill her because she's avoiding you.
You are a complete, faceless, other body/soul on this entire internet. I also gain this ability with you, however by being an artist with every shitty drawing I've made from around 2006 onwards on this site, my soul is, sadly, here. Lesson number one I've learned is that stories that start with (figuratively) "This guy said..." don't usually mean anything after a few weeks. Since the case is clearly a little more far fetching than that (and certainly not far fetched) what you need to do is first cut off your own responsibility from the lives of those too petty to let anything that hampers their own lives go. On an art site, we should all be able to let go of anything that has nothing to do with the greatest picture of all, just leave. We are better than this, and anything greater than our reality should be handled by scientists. We make the ideas first, then they make it real, it's a balance. I promise, it applies to every single argument in life. I stay at home mostly, I'm trying to become a pipefitter currently, but I play in a band and still produce some... modicum of visual art, (fuck that doesn't even matter here). All I'm saying is other people will do whatever is necessary to gain their own whatever, and so will you. So regardless of whether you achieve your goal or not, don't flsuter yourself with these people who are obviously below your thinking. Though my friends come to my place and buy the booze in exchange for me being left with the mess, they meant the best, and that's the circle. It's a balance. Just be As awesome as you can all the time and nothing else will matter, it will click into your brain, and you will never be a victim again, because FUCK YOU! And also all the love. Some people are Neil Patrick Harris. Some guys paint frescoes on billboards to upset the status quo. Some people stack eggs like a mad boss that makes that grocery store own every other store ever, some love hard and some die young. The only thing we all have in common is that we are all the best at something no one else is, from being stinky to being pardoned.
In "Gran Torino", everyone disses each other constantly, and yet maintain respect. It's the same in real life, whether online or to their face, we say crazy things to our friends that SHOULD be super offensive, but they don't care. Whether it's about our pets, our friends, some family, doesn't matter. We badmouth people as openly as possible to show our love, it's a sign that we know you're always there, my cats and friends and family, I make the foul jokes that are funny to no one but me, because I care. Merry Christmas, to all you motherfuckers. I wish death only as a cartoon gag where it never actually happens, and we keep on going as we always have
I'm reminded of The Lion King, and the scene where Timon explains "Bad thins happen, and there's nothing you can do about it." To an extent, he's right. Bad things happen, and people can sometimes overreact. It's just who they are. Whether or not they realize it is not something you can effect. Your best bet would be to make Friend X friend Y, and the other girl...well, it would seem she's made her choice, now hasn't she? What goes around comes around. Rest assured, Karma will deal her a blow sooner or later. Besides, this just opens up more room in your circle to meet a better person and befriend them.
You made the mistake of letting him back in, but that can be remedied. Just be an "Itch" with a capital, bold, and italicized "B" and I'm sure he'll back off, but don't be afraid to call the police. You can never be too safe, and there's stalking, and menacing are felonies he can be charged with, which is what it seems he's doing to you, given your statements.
Your friend is hurt, I see? Well, if you've tried all you can to repair your friendship and nothing works...perhaps it's for the best, no? He chose to go, so if he comes back it will be of his own choice. You were willing to fight for your friendship. I think that means enough that, if it were me, I think we could have been friends again. Unfortunately, I don't think he sees it the way I do. Time to just go with the flow from here.
So just because some people behave like assholes towards you, you want to kill yourself? Give it a break. You're worth more than that. Everybody that can't appreciate that, isn't worth your time at all.
The world is just f*cked up. Most people are leeches or behave like total assholes. It's no reason to kill yourself over.
Maybe part of this story is missing, but calling someone a "crackhead whore" for ignoring you seems quite childish to me. It implies that you do let stress (and anger) get to you far more than it should. Yes, it's not nice when someone starts ignoring you - especially if it's unjustified - but people are stupid and it will happen to everyone more than once. Just move on and be glad you're not friends with someone that immature; don't get all angry about it because it's really not worth it.
The guy that won't leave you alone? Make it clearer than clear. Say that as far as you're concerned he is harrassing you and if he doesn't stop you'll have to report it. If he ignores that and keeps contacting you, follow through on the threat.
It sucks about your best friend, but these things also happen. Sometimes friendships fall apart and one person just doesn't want to talk to the other anymore. My advice would be to send him one last message detailing your feelings (don't beg, though) and don't contact him again afterwards. You can't force someone to like you.
You asked for caring advice, so sorry if I was a little blunt for you, but I honestly think it sounds like you need to learn to let problems like this go. You're so stressed that you're threatening suicide over two people not liking you and one liking you too much? Really, learn to get a better grip on your emotions and maybe you wouldn't feel so terrible about what seem like problems everybody goes through more than a few times in their lives.
Like I mentioned to the many other replies, I need some bluntness or else I'll never get the real idea, so don't be sorry. I needed it, and appreciate it fully.
What I got from you is basically more or less the same conclusive ideas others have given to me, and that is that I do hold on a bit too much to one particular thing and have a hard time just "letting go." I actually wasn't aware that I harbored such an issue and that's why I love hearing other peoples' points of views because it helps me see what I might be seeing at first.
Thank you for your replies c: The first two situations I'm much more confident now in handling, yet as you can see, the last case is a lot more delicate and to me, a lot more precious. I will give it one lost shot (fingers crossed), and if it wasn't meant to be, then at least I can say I tried and won't have any regrets.
It's hurtful when other people do stuff like this, but if you can just shrug and move past it you'll always be the bigger person; nobody will be able to criticise you for being immature or petty so you'll always look better.
I can see why the last is the one that's hurting you the most. Send him one last message and maybe have a friend read through it? That way they can check you don't sound needy and desperate but still get your point across. Also, if you do see him, try to be polite and don't make things awkward, though I imagine you know that already
It is, and it's frustrating. Like, it came out of nowhere and I so didn't see it coming. But you're right.
And yes, he is very dear to me c: But that's a good point! I actually haven't thought of having a friend read through it. That's actually really crucial and I'll keep that in mind, thanks :0 And yes, I am aware of that and am very aware of the limits I'll have to keep before being privileged again to to pass them. I guess I made a big scar that needs meticulous cleaning and care before it'll finally heal :c
*or Well mom, funny thing is, more than 70% of the world is full of crackhead whores, so really it was just a matter of time that I'd befriend one, thinking they can actually serve a better purpose in this world. Guess I learned the hard way.
Cuz you wanna keep this conversation pivoted at me, you can play my role in a theoretical manner: if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
I would just ignore the first ex-friend and move on it doesn't seem like a relationship worth salvaging. Tell stalker to fuck off and make it even clearer than before that you're not interested and never will be, then end contact completely, don't give in at all. As for the friend you miss, sounds like you said something bitchy and hurt him, he probably created distance to get over you. If you've already done a good apology there's not much else you can do except leave it to him. It appears you're more worried about how you look to others than actually not hurting your friend from what you've written here. Honestly, just from this, you appear very self centered and inconsiderate, I reckon your best bet is simply to avoid doing the same thing in the future or suck up the fact you're going to look needy and pathetic and just be honest with him.
Firstly, I wanna thank you for your honesty and bluntness. Yes some sugar-coating would be easier for everyone, but it won't get to the core of the situation, so I really do appreciate that.
I guess I am somewhat self-centered and inconsiderate, but when I go beyond that and start caring about what everyone else thinks and feels, I tend to feel empty and just as some for of "happy drug" people can get high off when they're feeling low. I have my own issues too, and I'm always in a state of conflict: should I care too much and just keep what's troubling me locked up so it won't bother anyone, like no one really wants to hear it, or rather I think that person cares enough to hear me out and I really need some closure and I don't think I can do this alone. Y'know? So yes I may appear as you stated, but I don't believe I'm that type of a person as a whole.
Back to the issues at hand: For the ex-friend, I have tried just forgetting it. And it would work for some time, but for example when I'd go over to my friends' dorm room, they'd be like "Oh we should go to another room. Said girl is coming here soon." And that frustrates me. Like, you know we're not on good terms, but why should I leave when I did nothing wrong? Same thing with outings. They'd wanna go grab a drink, and if I'm in the mood I ask if I can accompany them, and sometimes they'd be cool with it, other times they'd tell me honestly that SHE is coming along and it's best I not come. So yeah, it's things like that that exist but is very hard to ignore when it affects the people around you as well, y'know?
As for the second case, I will cut off as much connection as I can, get a buddy by my side informed as recommended in a previous post, and I assume I'll just have to pray he gets tired too and dies out from pursuing yes?
Finally, I really do care about my bestfriend. He's someone dear to me. But my other friends that all advise the same thing aren't meeting up late at night in small cavern and discussing my issue. They all advise the same thing, and some of them I've known for over 7 years of my life. So it's not really that I care about how I think about being exposed to others, it's just I take these peoples' opinions to heart too.
But I get your points. Thank you. I'll get more feedback then see how things should be dealt with. Appreciate it c:
First, you stress out over too much. You sound like stress is your partner in crime and you like the drama. If not you wouldn't have started talking to your stressor again and still maintain that even with him stalking you. Just flat out tell him - leave me along or I'll get a restraining order against you and do it.
Granted life is really that easy. But you're right for the most part. Alright, I think I have a pretty strong grasp on how to handle problem 2. Mind giving in your 2 cents to the other 2 issues? I appreciate any form of advice.
Ok, I think problem one is best written off to experience. I think it is toast and better if you just move on. After all, friends come and go and not all for the most amicable reasons. For 3, you can't force anyone to come to terms, especially after they had been hurt by what you said. Sometimes you can't take things back, no matter how you wish it. Since you have already tried and gotten no response you just need to step back and give it a rest. You put the soiled ball in their court and there isn't much more you could do. You have apologized so leave it at that. If they don't accept your apology then just accept it and move on, hopefully being the wiser that words can hurt and destroy friendships. If it were me and I was really sorry for something I had stupidly done I would try one more thing. I would send a big bouquet of happy flowers with a heart written note about how you were so sorry for what you said and to ask for forgiveness. And yes, you can send flowers to guys. But truthfully, even if he forgave you things would be a bit awkward after it was said and done afterwards, at least for awhile. But other than this last ditch attempt, just bug out as it will seem like you are stalking him and are desperate.
Thank you so much! You don't know how much you've helped me. I think I will give it one more go, as there's actually an upcoming occasion perfect for an opportunity like this, and then as you said, things will officially unfold from there, for best or for worst.
Problem number 1: Doesn't sound too good with your friend. I faced the exact same thing in seventh grade. Not the first part, but the part about your friend ignoring you when you didn't do anything. They wouldn't talk to me for eight out of the nine months that we were in school. If you want my advice, just say you're sorry in the most sincerest way possible. Just drop your pride and apologize. Even if you're not sorry at all and even if you hate her to no end, it will patch up a LOT between you two. That's exactly what I did and now, in high school, we're laughing back at it and the FIVE of us are all best friends.
Problem number 2: It's official, HE IS STALKING YOU!!!!!!! Isn't it illegal to stalk someone. You've got to report to some position of authority NOW! If it keeps up like this, then it can and will lead to sexual assault. If you don't want to go to the police, tell another adult. Tell a friend. They will keep you safe.
Problem number 3: I think this one is easier to fix. Just say you're sorry. It'll be easier since you care about this person. Explain to him that you've been under all that stress lately and he will understand as your best friend.
And finally, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!! It's a pernament solution to a temporary problem.
1//But why do I have to say sorry for something I never did? If it's anything, it should be miss X resolving this issue that I was unfairly put into, but she seems pretty ok with the girl doing all this to both of us. It's not pride, it's just I fucking did nothing to this girl and even if I say sorry and things work out, the fact that I apologized for something I never did and gave her the pride and satisfaction of it, still will make me kill her c: No other option?
2//I think telling a friend will work c: I actually used to tell my guy friend in problem 3 and he was supportive about it..but...as you can see...Lolz I'm a mess I know.
3// I've tried apologizing. He won't listen. Are you suggesting it'd be still a good thing to keep trying? :c My other friends don't support it, saying it's his fault, I should just forget him, and if I keep begging they'll lose respect for me and believe everyone will pity me. I really don't wanna be pitied. That's something I can't withstand.
4// Ahaha no worries about that. Too tedious anyways xD I wanna live and get these problems solved.
1. You have to drop all earthly desires and just say those two words(I'm sorry) that'll patch it all up. It's two freaking words. You can do it.
3. KEEP TRYING!!!!
2. Once you get things with your best friend patched up, then he will suport you again. But if it doesn't get patched up, I think it would be wise to go the the authorities, no matter how much you don't want to. This could become dangerous if you let it continue.