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December 24, 2012
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I'd kill myself if I could c:

:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's been forever since I've been on the forums and like I have this huge plate of stress that I've tried tackling on my own for a while now, but either I'm doing something wrong or I just really can't handle this type of stress. I'd appreciate some feedback and help, really :c

Firstly- There's this crackhead whore that I know. We were friends, we were good, and we were a group of 3. Let's call the currently irrelevant friend to this situation as "X". We're all girls btw. Anyways, one day X and my other friend go out, go party, come back, and apparently X tells me how reckless the other girl was..basically trying to get some guy back in her room. It was very unlike her, she showed me photos of just how ridiculous she was acting with the guy, and she even had an eyewitness friend who agreed to the whole thing. So I took it in, but since it didn't concern me too much, obviously didn't do nothing about it. Next thing I know, that said friend (not X), stops talking to me. Completely. She won't look at me, acknowledge me, even at times when I'd give a friendly hello at first. Like, something was up, but because I was 100 percent sure I did nothing, I didn't ask her other friends till like a month later. Everyone gave me a different story, like one was how I started ignoring her for no reason, another was that she was just stressed (which doesn't justify her ignoring me), and finally her roommate told me the most believable explanation that she started to avoid both me and X because of what X was saying about her. SO I was like, how does that concern me? She was like cuz ur X's friend you might support the notion.

Like..fuck. you. Firstly, I'm not that low to be spreading what she did around (btw me posting this is like 4 months since it happened and she hasn't bothered shaping up c: ), and secondly, don't assume. Kay? And lastly, you did it.We have pics. We have eyewitnesses. Even the guy could testify. So throwing us into the closest to hide your mistake is one thing, but to be saying untrue things about us behind our back because of what YOU did, is annoying. And the thing is, because people are so vague on what really happened cuz me and X aren't as low as to snitch, they'll be very flexible to believe anything. It frustrates me, ok? I dunno what to do. I wanna push her down to the ground and shove a bazooka down her throat and shoot her to pieces. But I can't, cuz I'll look bad. Just seeing her happy, with friends, and living life despite what she did and what she did to us pisses me off. And I'd like closure please before I really do go up to her and mutilate her. Advice please?

Secondly, there's these guys up my ass. And like ok most of them get the message with one glare to back off, except one. He's a lot older than me, a lot more persistent. We fought, I made sure not to talk with him for like 4 months, but he kept begging, and I loosened up, and finally resumed talking to him. Now he's stalking every social site I have (he doesn't know about this one) and like won't back off. Like listen, I'm not interested. I'm not interested in most guys, so why would you be any different? Back. Off. But he won't. He calls me. He called me with a DUPLICATE NUMBER. Like....And he tries to get me into his car, tries to ask me out and get me to meet him, whether in groups or not he doesn't care as long as he sees me. I don't want like the authorities in this, but how do I get him off my back?

And finally this is the thing that's been on my mind for like forever. I fought with my bestfriend. He was like my partner in crime, someone I could open up to, and I fucked things up by telling him I didn't wanna be friends because I was high on anger hormones and didn't think and was basically ruining everything he was doing right. I tried approaching him, but it seemed everytime I did I'd make things worse. He seemed hurt when I broke off the friendship, but I haven't heard from him in 2 months. And I frankly miss him. We major in the same thing, so we will be around each other for a while btw. I just dunno what to do? I'm right now at a stage where if I keep begging and get turned down, I look pathetic, whereas if I stop and just wait, there's a high chance he won't do anything to come back. And this has been messing with my heart for a while. I rarely have close friends, so he was another gem in the box and to lose him because of my idiocity..well it's not unexcpected, but I still would do anything to get him back as long as I'm reassured it'll work.

I'd truly love some caring advice on all this, and I knew if this were in the complaints forums I'd be eaten alive :P So give me a break guys and really lend me a hand. Thanks <3
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Devious Comments

:iconunclegargy:
UncleGargy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Life is too short for all this angst. Find some new better friends. They are in the past leave them there.
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
Oh, she made a mistake and then ignored and avoided you, she's the worst friend ever. I think you're a pretty bad friend, not reassuring her that you didn't think poorly of her for her mistake. You can't support friends in rough situations? You can't reassure them it's okay? Nope, you just want to kill her because she's avoiding you.
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:iconblakkstorm:
Blakkstorm Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You are a complete, faceless, other body/soul on this entire internet. I also gain this ability with you, however by being an artist with every shitty drawing I've made from around 2006 onwards on this site, my soul is, sadly, here. Lesson number one I've learned is that stories that start with (figuratively) "This guy said..." don't usually mean anything after a few weeks. Since the case is clearly a little more far fetching than that (and certainly not far fetched) what you need to do is first cut off your own responsibility from the lives of those too petty to let anything that hampers their own lives go. On an art site, we should all be able to let go of anything that has nothing to do with the greatest picture of all, just leave. We are better than this, and anything greater than our reality should be handled by scientists. We make the ideas first, then they make it real, it's a balance. I promise, it applies to every single argument in life. I stay at home mostly, I'm trying to become a pipefitter currently, but I play in a band and still produce some... modicum of visual art, (fuck that doesn't even matter here). All I'm saying is other people will do whatever is necessary to gain their own whatever, and so will you. So regardless of whether you achieve your goal or not, don't flsuter yourself with these people who are obviously below your thinking. Though my friends come to my place and buy the booze in exchange for me being left with the mess, they meant the best, and that's the circle. It's a balance. Just be As awesome as you can all the time and nothing else will matter, it will click into your brain, and you will never be a victim again, because FUCK YOU! And also all the love. Some people are Neil Patrick Harris. Some guys paint frescoes on billboards to upset the status quo. Some people stack eggs like a mad boss that makes that grocery store own every other store ever, some love hard and some die young. The only thing we all have in common is that we are all the best at something no one else is, from being stinky to being pardoned.

In "Gran Torino", everyone disses each other constantly, and yet maintain respect. It's the same in real life, whether online or to their face, we say crazy things to our friends that SHOULD be super offensive, but they don't care. Whether it's about our pets, our friends, some family, doesn't matter. We badmouth people as openly as possible to show our love, it's a sign that we know you're always there, my cats and friends and family, I make the foul jokes that are funny to no one but me, because I care. Merry Christmas, to all you motherfuckers. I wish death only as a cartoon gag where it never actually happens, and we keep on going as we always have :)
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:iconscouterv:
ScouterV Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2012  Student Writer
I'm reminded of The Lion King, and the scene where Timon explains "Bad thins happen, and there's nothing you can do about it." To an extent, he's right. Bad things happen, and people can sometimes overreact. It's just who they are. Whether or not they realize it is not something you can effect. Your best bet would be to make Friend X friend Y, and the other girl...well, it would seem she's made her choice, now hasn't she? What goes around comes around. Rest assured, Karma will deal her a blow sooner or later. Besides, this just opens up more room in your circle to meet a better person and befriend them.

You made the mistake of letting him back in, but that can be remedied. Just be an "Itch" with a capital, bold, and italicized "B" and I'm sure he'll back off, but don't be afraid to call the police. You can never be too safe, and there's stalking, and menacing are felonies he can be charged with, which is what it seems he's doing to you, given your statements.

Your friend is hurt, I see? Well, if you've tried all you can to repair your friendship and nothing works...perhaps it's for the best, no? He chose to go, so if he comes back it will be of his own choice. You were willing to fight for your friendship. I think that means enough that, if it were me, I think we could have been friends again. Unfortunately, I don't think he sees it the way I do. Time to just go with the flow from here.

Hope I could help a little.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
All your solutions were laced with calmness that I found even myself calming down and being able to look at all the problems with a clearer head.

You really did help, and a lot at that! I drank in every word and really appreciate the time you put in just to advise me. It means a lot. Thanks <3
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:iconscouterv:
ScouterV Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2012  Student Writer
You're welcome. Happy to be of assistance, and I'm glad I was able to help. ^^ If you ever need to talk about anything, feel free to let me know. I'm always here to be of service.

I hope everything works out well for ya, kiddo.
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:icondamaimikaz:
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So just because some people behave like assholes towards you, you want to kill yourself?
Give it a break. You're worth more than that. Everybody that can't appreciate that, isn't worth your time at all.

The world is just f*cked up. Most people are leeches or behave like total assholes. It's no reason to kill yourself over.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm realizing that now through all the helpful and supportive comments, including yours! Thank you and no worries, I feel a lot more confident and control of the situations <3
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
Maybe part of this story is missing, but calling someone a "crackhead whore" for ignoring you seems quite childish to me. It implies that you do let stress (and anger) get to you far more than it should. Yes, it's not nice when someone starts ignoring you - especially if it's unjustified - but people are stupid and it will happen to everyone more than once. Just move on and be glad you're not friends with someone that immature; don't get all angry about it because it's really not worth it.

The guy that won't leave you alone? Make it clearer than clear. Say that as far as you're concerned he is harrassing you and if he doesn't stop you'll have to report it. If he ignores that and keeps contacting you, follow through on the threat.

It sucks about your best friend, but these things also happen. Sometimes friendships fall apart and one person just doesn't want to talk to the other anymore. My advice would be to send him one last message detailing your feelings (don't beg, though) and don't contact him again afterwards. You can't force someone to like you.

You asked for caring advice, so sorry if I was a little blunt for you, but I honestly think it sounds like you need to learn to let problems like this go. You're so stressed that you're threatening suicide over two people not liking you and one liking you too much? Really, learn to get a better grip on your emotions and maybe you wouldn't feel so terrible about what seem like problems everybody goes through more than a few times in their lives.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Like I mentioned to the many other replies, I need some bluntness or else I'll never get the real idea, so don't be sorry. I needed it, and appreciate it fully.

What I got from you is basically more or less the same conclusive ideas others have given to me, and that is that I do hold on a bit too much to one particular thing and have a hard time just "letting go." I actually wasn't aware that I harbored such an issue and that's why I love hearing other peoples' points of views because it helps me see what I might be seeing at first.

Thank you for your replies c: The first two situations I'm much more confident now in handling, yet as you can see, the last case is a lot more delicate and to me, a lot more precious. I will give it one lost shot (fingers crossed), and if it wasn't meant to be, then at least I can say I tried and won't have any regrets.

Thanks again c:
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
It's hurtful when other people do stuff like this, but if you can just shrug and move past it you'll always be the bigger person; nobody will be able to criticise you for being immature or petty so you'll always look better.

I can see why the last is the one that's hurting you the most. Send him one last message and maybe have a friend read through it? That way they can check you don't sound needy and desperate but still get your point across. Also, if you do see him, try to be polite and don't make things awkward, though I imagine you know that already =)
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It is, and it's frustrating. Like, it came out of nowhere and I so didn't see it coming. But you're right.

And yes, he is very dear to me c: But that's a good point! I actually haven't thought of having a friend read through it. That's actually really crucial and I'll keep that in mind, thanks :0 And yes, I am aware of that and am very aware of the limits I'll have to keep before being privileged again to to pass them. I guess I made a big scar that needs meticulous cleaning and care before it'll finally heal :c
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
So who is the crack whore? :o
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Unless you plan on getting some assassin work done for me, I doubt her name will really benefit you.
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Well similarly your thread benefits no one here apart from you but that didn't stop you from posting it. :)
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Well similarly your account benefits no one here apart from you but that didn't stop you from making it.
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:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
I didn't make it and also, stay on topic cutie pie, this thread is about you not me. :pat: So why are you friends with crackhead whores? To feel better about yourself of to feel like you belong? :)
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Prosaix, this is help with life. If you can give no positive help stay out of this section and stop trolling. Santa will definitely be watching you.
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:iconsapphire-ashesx:
Sapphire-Ashesx Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
It's still a public forum and anybody can post anything they want.
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2012
And that goes for you too.
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(1 Reply)
:iconprosaix:
prosaix Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
What? Are you referring to this? [link]
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
That was complaints, this is help with life.
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(1 Reply)
:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
I doubt it, considering the timestamps indicate the doctor thread was created after her comment.
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(1 Reply)
:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
*or
Well mom, funny thing is, more than 70% of the world is full of crackhead whores, so really it was just a matter of time that I'd befriend one, thinking they can actually serve a better purpose in this world. Guess I learned the hard way.

Cuz you wanna keep this conversation pivoted at me, you can play my role in a theoretical manner: if you were in my shoes, what would you do?
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:iconendeavor-to-freefall:
I would just ignore the first ex-friend and move on it doesn't seem like a relationship worth salvaging. Tell stalker to fuck off and make it even clearer than before that you're not interested and never will be, then end contact completely, don't give in at all. As for the friend you miss, sounds like you said something bitchy and hurt him, he probably created distance to get over you. If you've already done a good apology there's not much else you can do except leave it to him. It appears you're more worried about how you look to others than actually not hurting your friend from what you've written here. Honestly, just from this, you appear very self centered and inconsiderate, I reckon your best bet is simply to avoid doing the same thing in the future or suck up the fact you're going to look needy and pathetic and just be honest with him.

On a side-note, you say like too much.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I do say like too much. Lolz.

Firstly, I wanna thank you for your honesty and bluntness. Yes some sugar-coating would be easier for everyone, but it won't get to the core of the situation, so I really do appreciate that.

I guess I am somewhat self-centered and inconsiderate, but when I go beyond that and start caring about what everyone else thinks and feels, I tend to feel empty and just as some for of "happy drug" people can get high off when they're feeling low. I have my own issues too, and I'm always in a state of conflict: should I care too much and just keep what's troubling me locked up so it won't bother anyone, like no one really wants to hear it, or rather I think that person cares enough to hear me out and I really need some closure and I don't think I can do this alone. Y'know? So yes I may appear as you stated, but I don't believe I'm that type of a person as a whole.

Back to the issues at hand:
For the ex-friend, I have tried just forgetting it. And it would work for some time, but for example when I'd go over to my friends' dorm room, they'd be like "Oh we should go to another room. Said girl is coming here soon." And that frustrates me. Like, you know we're not on good terms, but why should I leave when I did nothing wrong? Same thing with outings. They'd wanna go grab a drink, and if I'm in the mood I ask if I can accompany them, and sometimes they'd be cool with it, other times they'd tell me honestly that SHE is coming along and it's best I not come. So yeah, it's things like that that exist but is very hard to ignore when it affects the people around you as well, y'know?

As for the second case, I will cut off as much connection as I can, get a buddy by my side informed as recommended in a previous post, and I assume I'll just have to pray he gets tired too and dies out from pursuing yes?

Finally, I really do care about my bestfriend. He's someone dear to me. But my other friends that all advise the same thing aren't meeting up late at night in small cavern and discussing my issue. They all advise the same thing, and some of them I've known for over 7 years of my life. So it's not really that I care about how I think about being exposed to others, it's just I take these peoples' opinions to heart too.

But I get your points. Thank you. I'll get more feedback then see how things should be dealt with. Appreciate it c:
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
First, you stress out over too much. You sound like stress is your partner in crime and you like the drama. If not you wouldn't have started talking to your stressor again and still maintain that even with him stalking you. Just flat out tell him - leave me along or I'll get a restraining order against you and do it.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Granted life is really that easy.
But you're right for the most part. Alright, I think I have a pretty strong grasp on how to handle problem 2. Mind giving in your 2 cents to the other 2 issues? I appreciate any form of advice.
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:iconorangekrissy:
OrangeKrissy Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Ok, I think problem one is best written off to experience. I think it is toast and better if you just move on. After all, friends come and go and not all for the most amicable reasons.
For 3, you can't force anyone to come to terms, especially after they had been hurt by what you said. Sometimes you can't take things back, no matter how you wish it. Since you have already tried and gotten no response you just need to step back and give it a rest. You put the soiled ball in their court and there isn't much more you could do. You have apologized so leave it at that. If they don't accept your apology then just accept it and move on, hopefully being the wiser that words can hurt and destroy friendships. If it were me and I was really sorry for something I had stupidly done I would try one more thing. I would send a big bouquet of happy flowers with a heart written note about how you were so sorry for what you said and to ask for forgiveness. And yes, you can send flowers to guys. But truthfully, even if he forgave you things would be a bit awkward after it was said and done afterwards, at least for awhile. But other than this last ditch attempt, just bug out as it will seem like you are stalking him and are desperate.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you so much! You don't know how much you've helped me. I think I will give it one more go, as there's actually an upcoming occasion perfect for an opportunity like this, and then as you said, things will officially unfold from there, for best or for worst.

Thank you again c:
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Is it that easy. You need -like- the authorities in this.
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:iconmeemie7:
Meemie7 Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Problem number 1: Doesn't sound too good with your friend. I faced the exact same thing in seventh grade. Not the first part, but the part about your friend ignoring you when you didn't do anything. They wouldn't talk to me for eight out of the nine months that we were in school. If you want my advice, just say you're sorry in the most sincerest way possible. Just drop your pride and apologize. Even if you're not sorry at all and even if you hate her to no end, it will patch up a LOT between you two. That's exactly what I did and now, in high school, we're laughing back at it and the FIVE of us are all best friends.

Problem number 2: It's official, HE IS STALKING YOU!!!!!!! Isn't it illegal to stalk someone. You've got to report to some position of authority NOW! If it keeps up like this, then it can and will lead to sexual assault. If you don't want to go to the police, tell another adult. Tell a friend. They will keep you safe.

Problem number 3: I think this one is easier to fix. Just say you're sorry. It'll be easier since you care about this person. Explain to him that you've been under all that stress lately and he will understand as your best friend.

And finally, DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!!!!!!! It's a pernament solution to a temporary problem.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
1//But why do I have to say sorry for something I never did? If it's anything, it should be miss X resolving this issue that I was unfairly put into, but she seems pretty ok with the girl doing all this to both of us. It's not pride, it's just I fucking did nothing to this girl and even if I say sorry and things work out, the fact that I apologized for something I never did and gave her the pride and satisfaction of it, still will make me kill her c: No other option?

2//I think telling a friend will work c: I actually used to tell my guy friend in problem 3 and he was supportive about it..but...as you can see...Lolz I'm a mess I know.

3// I've tried apologizing. He won't listen. Are you suggesting it'd be still a good thing to keep trying? :c My other friends don't support it, saying it's his fault, I should just forget him, and if I keep begging they'll lose respect for me and believe everyone will pity me. I really don't wanna be pitied. That's something I can't withstand.

4// Ahaha no worries about that. Too tedious anyways xD I wanna live and get these problems solved.
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:iconmeemie7:
Meemie7 Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
These are in chronological order

1. You have to drop all earthly desires and just say those two words(I'm sorry) that'll patch it all up. It's two freaking words. You can do it.

3. KEEP TRYING!!!!

2. Once you get things with your best friend patched up, then he will suport you again. But if it doesn't get patched up, I think it would be wise to go the the authorities, no matter how much you don't want to. This could become dangerous if you let it continue.

4. Yay
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you xD
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:iconmeemie7:
Meemie7 Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
No problem
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Don't kill yourself.
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I didn't think you felt that way.
Lolz no worry, I think I managed to tackle that underlying issue.
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
:thumbsup:
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:iconlovensita:
Lovensita Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
You never cease to amaze me. c: Thank you so much. I appreciate it, really.
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:icondutchconnaisseur:
DutchConnaisseur Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
:hug: I am a sadist, but a nice one.
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