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December 23, 2012
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He stood me up.

:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
Not too sure if this counts, but fuck it, it does for me.

So I asked out a friend of mine I'd secretly been crushing on since about August. We'd been flirting a lot since before I asked and it seemed like he was into me-- we joked and laughed and he always seemed to cheer me up when I was down, and he talked to me a lot more than any of my other friends that knew him. I didn't know if I should count this as being more than friendly, but I'd seen the way he acted around other girls, and he definitely acts differently when he's with me. He's sweeter and nicer, and he's less of an.. well, he's less of an ass, really.

So I decided to go for it-- he's kind of shy so I thought I'd make the first move. It was just something simple and a bit cheesy: studying. I figured we could go from the high school to the college, have a snack or something and then hit the library or one of the study rooms they have open so we could work there.

Nothing too complicated, right?

Well, we're both in band, so we decided to do it during the hour of free time we had before rehearsals for the concert the following thursday. I ask him to meet me outside my classroom and everything, he says fine. He wondered about being able to help me, but I told him I'd take all the help I could get so it was fine, and he said he'd try.

Cool.

So the day comes-- I'm nervous as hell, waiting, until finally the bell rings. I linger behind so I can meet him. I know his class is on the third floor, but I don't know specifically, so after five minutes passes by, I figure he's just at his locker or fetching his books or something.

Unfortunately, I was wrong. Ten minutes pass, fifteen, twenty. I'm shocked and a little embarrassed to find that he still hasn't shown up. I send him a text-- he doesn't answer. So I go down to the band room to find a friend of mine, tell her what happened and all. I'm so upset, and after I vent to her I go sulk and try to figure out what the hell I did wrong.

Maybe twenty minutes later, the door down the hall opens and he walks through with a group of his friends, laughing and joking around like he didn't have plans that afternoon and like it's a regular old day.

I pray to god he doesn't come near me, for fear of blowing up on him or just cowering like a loser with all my hurt feelings. I'm stuck behind him all rehearsal, and he never says a damn thing to me about it. I try texting him again later that day, and he doesn't answer still. He hasn't answered a single one of my messages since that day.

It's been maybe a week, or actually ten days since then. Nothing has been said between us. I'm too afraid that I might be bothering him or maybe he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. But I want to know what the hell went on. If he didn't wanna go, why not say so? I gave him that option several times. He said yes anyway.

He confuses me a lot. He always flirts, always gives me hints that maybe he might like me. But then, what if that's just him being friendly? I can't even tell anymore.

Just.. what did I do? Should I write him off or at least try to confront him, for closure? I do want closure, but I don't want to come off as desperate, and I don't want to track him down like he's my fucking property. It seems like he's dodging me but I don't know if I should assume such things, and I'm stuck feeling like a huge embarrassing burden.

Any advice? Am I being too forward?
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Devious Comments

:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Writer
I'll second what some of the others have said; ask him in person. Maybe he's just worried he annoyed you and is avoiding your texts in the hopes of an easy way out. Not very mature, but nobody is all the time.

Also, I doubt he realised that you were thinking of this in a romantic way. I know I wouldn't, in his place, so maybe you could be a little bit clearer if you talk to him and things go well.
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:iconebolabears:
EbolaBears Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Forget him and move on, unless you feel like babysitting him for no pay. Because that's all you're going to end up doing, babysitting him while fantasies run through your head.

Find someone better, someone who values your time.
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:iconsphinx-chan:
Sphinx-Chan Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Smack that son of a barrell down! X3

Erm, no offence or anything, but he doesnt sound like the sort of person you'd want to spend a part of your life with, let alone the rest of it. And by the sounds of it your not just looking for a one timer. You may not be looking for a partner for life, but still.
Also, you mentioned that he isnt as much of an ass around you as he is around other people? Does that mean that he's an ass around your friends/family (if he knows them XD). If he is, then thats another reason you may want to rethink this whole 'crush'. Would you be willing to go out with someone who acted like a jerk towards your friends?

Er... after re-reading this I kinda seem quite intense, dont I. XD :stare:
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
No, you're okay xD

Also, I meant he just seems a lot sweeter, and softer when we're talking and none of his friends are around or can hear us. It just feels different.

Maybe that's me wanting it to feel like it's more than it really is.
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:iconbeesull:
BeeSull Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Mh, sounds like he's pulling your chain a bit. Hot and cold. Bait and switch. At the very least, he sounds incredibly unthoughtful of your feelings. I'd look somewhere else for a romantic partner. Chances are that even if it was a "misunderstanding" when he flaked on you, it would be a reoccurring one. He could have easily sent you to a text to clear up anything that needed to be cleared up right away, but he didn't. He's probably just not that into you and doesn't want to hurt your feelings, and/or likes the power trip. If it makes you feel any better, it happens to almost everyone. :|
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   Photographer
I don't think you're being too forward at all but chances are while you were considering your arrangements to be a date, he was just thinking of it as exactly what it was - a plan to get together with a friend and study for a while. It doesn't make it ok that he didn't show up, but he had no way of knowing how much it meant to you. It's really difficult to try and guess what someone else is thinking so I reckon mention it the next time you see him in person. It doesn't have to be a big confrontation, just a "Hey, I was waiting for you on (whatever day) but you didn't show up. What happened?".
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
Yeah, I thought about that. I guess I just don't get the avoiding part. He seems to shy or would get to flustered in asking me himself, so I feel like I would have to do it myself. I just can't seem to find him when he's not with his friends.
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   Photographer
Maybe next time you see him with his friends, just go over and have a quiet chat in the corner with him where no-one else can hear :aww:
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:iconcammieobscura:
CammieObscura Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
When you show too much interest guys seem to close down. I'm not gonna say you were acting desperate. You gotta play the game and seem aloof sometimes. You really should have not gotten mad though. Maybe he was a little too shy or who knows why he stood you up. But constant texting is like stalking. One should be sufficient. You should have just said something like "I missed you at the study hall/ library. What happened?" kind of non-chalantly like it was ok if he didn't come and It was his loss, not yours. By not saying anything you gave him the power to play games and enabling it. If I were you and the way he acts I'd write him off.
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I texted him three times.. in the span of ten fucking days. I don't see how that's constant at all.

I confirmed it with him a day before it was to happen by asking him to meet me outside my class, to which he never did.
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:iconcammieobscura:
CammieObscura Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Like I said, if it bothers you so much either ask him why or dump him.
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:iconprairielily:
PrairieLily Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
"dump him" doesn't really work if they're not actually together. That's a key part in all this.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
You were considering this the first step toward a more intimate relationship, but did not portray it as such to him. You said you were looking for scholastic help. And it sounds like he was not really comfortable with his abilities there, "He wondered about being able to help me, but I told him I'd take all the help I could get"

Sooooo if he liked you, and felt he could not help, or possibly thinks that HE is stupid and bad at school, and does not want to either let you down by not helping you or does not want to appear stupid what would he do? Probably something about like he did.

"Forget" realize you are mad, figure he has blown his chances with you no matter what, so ignores you.

Not saying he likes you, there could be other scenarios. And some of those could be he realized that you were viewing this as the beggining of a romantic relationship, but did not want one, so he ditched you.

But you did not say "hey, I would like to go to the movies with you" or "there is a dance coming up at school, would you like to go with me?" or even the very honest, and scary "I think I like you as more than a school friend, would you like to go out?"

If you do not ask for what you want, then do not get what you want, you should not really be surprised.

And it sounds like the only way to find out why he did not show is to talk to him in person.
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
I did consider the fact that it wasn't fair to him to blame him when he doesn't know how I feel. But I still can't seem to find time alone with him so I could ask.. he's kind of avoiding me.
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
What was for you a big deal as if you had asked him out on a big date, was for him probably just a study date. He probably never second-guessed your intentions. It seems more likely to me that he forgot than that he blew you off. It's still rude of course, but there's no reason to look for bad intentions where he probably just acted the way he did 'cause he's a bonehead.

I would just ask him if he forgot, and then ask if he wants to hang out after school some time. Less study date-y and more date date-y but still not something that puts too much pressure on either of you.
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
If he forgot, then why doesn't he just say so? Shy as he is, I know he would at least be able to explain forgetfulness.
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Did you ask him though?
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:iconeuriella:
Euriella Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Writer
Not face to face v.v
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:iconarmonah:
Armonah Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Maybe you should talk to him in person, then :)

And you don't need to turn this into a big issue, and not being too confrontative about it is really the best for the both of you, too. Just ask him why he didn't show up on the study date last week, if he forgot or something.
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:icon3wyl:
3wyl Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
There's no point in making assumptions about him, so if you do want to work things out or at least get some answers, you should probably just find a time where you two can talk together privately.

Try not to make advances, and just focus on getting the answers you need, I suppose?  The main thing is finding the time where he and you can talk privately, but eh.
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