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December 22, 2012


Replies: 13

Sad (with good reason)

135711cal Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
It's difficult to be the non perky one. Everyone wants to be happy this season. I am trying not to be depressing, but my younger brother died on the second of December this year. I am the winter sky. (deep blue, heavy clouds and a fair chance of precipitation)

I try to smile and act happy, and give other people some encouragement no mater how I feel. But it mostly feels awkward at best. I finally got around to sending off some Christmas cards and noticed that when I signed them I didn't even spell my name right, sigh.

I know I'm sad and I have good reason to be. I am OK with being sad, but I don't want to be the downer that ruins everyone else's party. Do I just ignore social obligations? Do I go and not say anything?

Any suggestions?

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Devious Comments

WegraMan Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
What you need to do is go out there and make some close friends. And by that I mean GOOD friends not Assholes who take advantage of you every five seconds. Hell I'll be you're friend right now :3
Vulpimo Featured By Owner Dec 26, 2012
Don't show off your sadness, but it's ok to feel down a bit every now and then. Don't ostracize yourself just because you can be no fun.
signsofortune Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
I say that you should go and not say anything. Or if you feel like saying something, do say something. Yes you are feeling sad, but it wouldn't help to be by yourself too much.

like seigeonthorstadt said, go ahead just don't force an act.
siegeonthorstadt Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
one of the most difficult things to deal with in a case of losing someone that is close to you is the social interactions and a feeling of obligations and this will later grow into a sort of responsibility thing. dont forget that no matter what you do, people will understand. it is important for YOU that you keep a positive and nice relations with people. especially with close family, relatives and friends. i say dive into the party but dont force an act.

besides, my condolences
DamaiMikaz Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
First at all: it's normal to be sad by the loss of a dear family member. It's nothing unusual and people will understand.
It's up to you what you want to do. If you don't feel like joining them, it's perfectly fine. Nobody will blame you. But I can also imagine that it could feel good to be around friends at this time at the year, maybe to get your thoughts off the sadness for a while. Just do what your feeling tells you to do.
Saviroosje Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
You are SO allowed to be sad! People should understand.. I think you shouldn't bring it up tho. Just try ( how hard it is ) to enjoy this time, but also, cry, cry it all out! Search for comfort these cold days!
persephus Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
It's definitely okay to be sad. No one should expect you to be otherwise after what happened to your brother. And if they don't know, remember it is up to you who you decide to share the information with. You have to also know that people cannot read minds. If they don't know what you are going through it might be hard to get the response that you are looking for. You will not feel like this forever! The sadness will pass and once it does, and it will, you will no longer isolate. But I have to also say that the key to feeling better is to talk to others and be around people in general. Being alone only causes more depression.... Hope that helped
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Photographer
Sweetie, your brother died 3 weeks ago! You are under absolutely no obligation at all to do anything simply because you feel like it's expected of you! If spending time with other people helps you to feel better, then great. But if you want to spent the holiday season curled up under a blanket on the couch eating ice-cream and watching trashy tv to block the world out, that's perfectly fine too. I don't honestly think anyone would expect you to pretend to be ok and bounce around socialising when you're grieving such a recent loss of someone to close to you :tighthug:
135711cal Featured By Owner Dec 25, 2012
You are very helpful, thank you (I tried the ice-cream suggestion. I bought Mocha chocolate chunk. I tried a small dish at first but ended up eating the whole container. I actually felt a lot better, but I don't think it is something that should be done very often.)
Self-Epidemic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Remove yourself from the situation, if it is too much, simply say next time you don't want to participate with Christmas. Stop sending gifts and cards and go on your way.

Did he pass away this year?
135711cal Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I haven't bought anyone anything. I figured I would send the Cards because I made them the day he died. It was odd because the figure reminded me of him when I carved the block. I didn't find out he was dead until I was making the test print.
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012   Digital Artist
Really it's up to you. You have every right to be sad, and I don't think people who know you will think too much if you choose to be a little distant or absent right now.

If you do want to be among others and not be a downer you can always try thinking about it in a different way, in a way that isn't so sad. Think of it as celebrating in honor of your brother. Or think about how how would want you to handle the situation.

Hope that gives you something to think about. My condolences to you.
135711cal Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
thank you
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