Really, come on. Like if nowadays you could get STDs in hospitals. If you get one either you had sex and are a stupid liar (I swear, I got it in the public toilet) or you're just some dumb junkie.
Also, there are a lot of STDs. So if there is the slightly tiny chance you got it from some accident, was she talking about HIV? Because if she was then she has a pretty valid point. If she was talking in STDs in general I'd reconsider being with her.
If your girlfriend is saying she would leave you if you ever got an STD, from something other than sex, it means she doesn't think your relationship is forever. If she thought she'd be spending the rest of her life with you, it wouldn't matter.
I don't think she's concerned as much about any health issues as she is about where you actually got that STD from. Unless you're getting a blood transfusion from a hobo in a van, I think you're pretty safe from that. To me (and probably to her too) it sounds a bit like you're creating a very specific hypothetical situation with very low chances of happening just to see if your back-up excuse would work in case you actually got an STD from a valid source (aka a hooker).
Even if a girl is willing to stay with you no matter what you do, if you present her with a hypothetical situation in which you're making a fool of her, she's still going to stick to her pride and say, at that moment, that she's not going to have it. She's not going to create this image of her as a spineless rag that if you cheat on, she's just going to let it go cause she loves you so much.
First of all, it would be highly unlikely that you got an STD in that way, so even if you did, shes assume you got it from some diseased hootch working the corner, and that thought's going to be in her head.
Also, it completely her right to feel that way, she was honest with you, you rather she lied to make you feel better? I really don't think you should be questioning your relationship from that answer. That's a hard thing. Besides that in the end, you're getting worked up about a theoretical scenario that most likely isn't going to happen to you.
Remember that you're external doubts like this, or really more reflections of your own inner doubt. You're questioning whether she loves you based on a hypothetical question, and an extreme one at that. I think you're way of looking at her answer is very black and white, and honestly quite selfish. You're saying that you always put her first, which first of all sounds like your putting her on a pedestal, which you shouldn't; yet, in you're hypothetical situation, you aren't doing that, you're selfishly expecting her to stay with you and risk also getting the same disease. If you were really honest about putting her first you'd understand and not want to risk giving it to her.
angelxxuanFeatured By OwnerDec 22, 2012Student General Artist
I prefer condoms anyways, but to depending on your country, the slimmer it gets these days with blood transfusion with having bad blood which is infected. there is sti, where you can get infected socially, HIV, Hepatitis and anything can be transmitted without even having sexual intercourse. but if that's how your gf thinks then that's her choice and if she does leave you over this, then that reflects on her and truly does show her true soul/nature.
How long have you been dating her? If it's not too long (2 years or less IMO), then that may be more or less expected depending on how far in your relationship you are. But people also like to avoid getting permanent, life-changing illness as well, so you're fighting a war with human nature there as well.
NEVER get a tattoo from anyone who doesn't use a new needle for each customer! Any decent tattoo artist or piercer will be perfectly happy to take the new needle out of the packet in front of you. In fact, some insist on doing that.
Thanks to OSHA, your chances of getting an STD from a needle or a blood transfusion, unless you are a recreational intravenous drug user, are slim to none. So your relationship is probably safe. Unless you use heroin or sleep around.
Also -beware of hypothetical questions in general when talking to women. It never ends well.
First, it was silly that you brought that kind of subject in a conversation.
Second, she was silly --for being too honest- that she would leave you if something ever happened -- she shouldn't be saying that even she would leave you. But seriously why would she stay w/ you and spend her lifetime with a guy with a STD, risking her health and life when she's not even married with you & not responsible for that? Seems like you're selfish.
It is understandable that you think that way, however, her thought is also understandable to me.
You are 100% correct. I shouldn't expect her to do that for me. I guess that the fact that I would do that for her is enough to think that she would do that for me. And yeah, I expected her to just sugarcoat it a little bit, you know? Humor me a little bit. Tell me what I want to hear, even though I know she's lying.
Humor me a little bit. Tell me what I want to hear, even though I know she's lying.</span>
Would you really prefer that to honesty? Surely it's better to know where you stand with someone so that you can make choices based on reality, not head games. What you asked her was a pretty serious question and probably not something that many people actually give much thought to on a daily basis and she gave you an honest answer (even though it wasn't the one you wanted to hear).
I think you have two options here. First of all, you need to accept where she stands on the situation (although it'll probably never actually arise, and also people's feelings on things change when something is a reality rather than a hypothetical) because that's her choice that she's entitled to make. If you really like her and can get past that one conversation, then you can choose to stay with her. But if it's going to eat away at you and make it impossible for you to be happy in the relationship, then you could consider leaving.
She was honest with you. You owe her the same. I hope that you find a solution that you're comfortable with
But yes, I agree with what the other people here have said. There are other ways to get blood-transmitted STD's than from needles, like being assaulted by a weapon that broke the skin of someone with such an STD. However, in the states, it is incredibly unlikely that you'd get it from such a source if you live in the states, due to the high level of hygiene executed by official health care. So if you got such a disease, most likely she would assume you cheated on her.
And even if that was not the problem, there is always a chance of a condom breaking. I hate to tell this to you but there really is no way to be safe. If the hypothetical disease was something like AIDS, I think it's pretty understandable that she'd be very careful about the risks of catching something that is potentially fatal. It doesn't automatically mean she doesn't love you or will stop loving you, but living in a lifelong sexless relationship/living with a constant risk is pretty heavy too...
Takes a real man to take ownership for his mistakes. So yes, I was an ass. A royal ass. And I begged for forgiveness. It's a new relationship, and I'm allowed to fret about what goes on it. I make mistakes, and I learn from them. We're both learning and growing together everyday. What point are you trying to make?
I think that if my partner told me he got an STD from a blood transfusion, I'd say "prove it." For one thing, STDs from blood transfusions are rare, as only blood-born pathogens can be transmitted through blood donation, and in the United States, screening and testing for these pathogens is mandatory. Reusing needles is prohibited. So unless you abuse drugs or receive your blood transfusions from an emergency ward in Mozambique, you have no reason to be worried about getting an illness from a needle or transfusion. I wouldn't be surprised if your girlfriend thinks "if I get infected by a dirty needle or transfusion, would you still love me" is cheater's code for "if I tell you an extremely flimsy lie to cover up my affair, would you believe me."
SpookyInkFeatured By OwnerDec 22, 2012Hobbyist Traditional Artist
There is nothing wrong with being selfish with your own health and safety.
Since you two are still babies in the relationship (meaning under 5 years honestly) then a lot of things can change and happen. If you were in my situation where I'm going on 7 years with my s/o then we would figure out a way to make it work and keep going on.