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December 22, 2012
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Girlfriend leaving me if I ever got an STD?

:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
So my girlfriend and I were having a normal conversation. And the topic of STD's came up.
And I asked her if I ever got an STD from a needle or a bad blood transfusion, would she stay. And she said that she probably won't. I mean, what the hell? I've put my heart and soul into loving her and she would just abandon me like that? I always put her ahead of myself, but the thought of her leaving me because of my inability to ever have unprotected sex would be over with. Does she even love me? I've never felt this way about a girl before. And this is the most serious relationship I've ever had. I can't think of having any other girl in my life. The thought of her actually not loving me is just a hard pill to swallow.

so the bottom line is,
if your partner got an STD from any other way besides sex, what would you do?
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Devious Comments

:iconcalkubo:
Calkubo Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012
Really, come on. Like if nowadays you could get STDs in hospitals. If you get one either you had sex and are a stupid liar (I swear, I got it in the public toilet) or you're just some dumb junkie.

Also, there are a lot of STDs. So if there is the slightly tiny chance you got it from some accident, was she talking about HIV? Because if she was then she has a pretty valid point. If she was talking in STDs in general I'd reconsider being with her.
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:iconpsychogizmo:
psychogizmo Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
If your girlfriend is saying she would leave you if you ever got an STD, from something other than sex, it means she doesn't think your relationship is forever. If she thought she'd be spending the rest of her life with you, it wouldn't matter.
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:iconjericawinters:
JericaWinters Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
This reminds me of the "wheel chair" question. Sadly, many people bail on injured or sick partners.
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:iconpopaganda77:
popaganda77 Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Photographer
I'd stay with them. She's a whore, OP, you should break up with her. She just wants an excuse to fuck someone else.
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:icontinoculars:
Tinoculars Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Professional Interface Designer
I don't think she's concerned as much about any health issues as she is about where you actually got that STD from. Unless you're getting a blood transfusion from a hobo in a van, I think you're pretty safe from that. To me (and probably to her too) it sounds a bit like you're creating a very specific hypothetical situation with very low chances of happening just to see if your back-up excuse would work in case you actually got an STD from a valid source (aka a hooker).

Even if a girl is willing to stay with you no matter what you do, if you present her with a hypothetical situation in which you're making a fool of her, she's still going to stick to her pride and say, at that moment, that she's not going to have it. She's not going to create this image of her as a spineless rag that if you cheat on, she's just going to let it go cause she loves you so much.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
The thought of facing death for someone you're not married to is a pretty hard pill to swallow, too. How selfish are you for even asking her to do such a thing?

By the way, your age and hers are both entirely relevant to this conversation.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012   Digital Artist
First of all, it would be highly unlikely that you got an STD in that way, so even if you did, shes assume you got it from some diseased hootch working the corner, and that thought's going to be in her head.

Also, it completely her right to feel that way, she was honest with you, you rather she lied to make you feel better? I really don't think you should be questioning your relationship from that answer. That's a hard thing. Besides that in the end, you're getting worked up about a theoretical scenario that most likely isn't going to happen to you.

Remember that you're external doubts like this, or really more reflections of your own inner doubt. You're questioning whether she loves you based on a hypothetical question, and an extreme one at that. I think you're way of looking at her answer is very black and white, and honestly quite selfish. You're saying that you always put her first, which first of all sounds like your putting her on a pedestal, which you shouldn't; yet, in you're hypothetical situation, you aren't doing that, you're selfishly expecting her to stay with you and risk also getting the same disease. If you were really honest about putting her first you'd understand and not want to risk giving it to her.
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
1) you actually don't know what you would do in that situation until you are in it.

2) She has the right to protect herself. Really everyone should. And just because you would stay with her if it happened to her, does not mean she should stay with you.

Finally, I have been married for 20 years, and would not leave my husband. If we had been together one year, I would. These things are situational.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
You are 100% correct.
We kissed and made up.
I realized how wrong I truly was.
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:iconbohobella:
bohobella Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
That early in a relationship it's understandable. It's pretty freakin' rare to get an STD in a blood transfusion and even rarer that it would be something life threatening.

And stop shooting heroin or otherwise poking yourself with strange needles.
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:iconangelxxuan:
angelxxuan Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I prefer condoms anyways, but to depending on your country, the slimmer it gets these days with blood transfusion with having bad blood which is infected. there is sti, where you can get infected socially, HIV, Hepatitis and anything can be transmitted without even having sexual intercourse. but if that's how your gf thinks then that's her choice and if she does leave you over this, then that reflects on her and truly does show her true soul/nature.
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:iconkittythenekoalien:
KittyTheNekoAlien Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
How long have you been dating her? If it's not too long (2 years or less IMO), then that may be more or less expected depending on how far in your relationship you are. But people also like to avoid getting permanent, life-changing illness as well, so you're fighting a war with human nature there as well.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Almost a year. Maybe it's a little bit too early for me to be talking about this. :P
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If you got it "from a needle", it sounds like you'd be a druggie. I'd leave your diseased self too.
I'd stay if it was from a blood transfusion, but seriously... That happens so rarely.

Usually a sudden std in a previously std-free relationship signifies cheating.
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:iconvictorywept:
VictoryWept Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
It's possible to get it from tattoo needles if you go to an "artist" who does not use a new needle for each customer.
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   Photographer
NEVER get a tattoo from anyone who doesn't use a new needle for each customer! Any decent tattoo artist or piercer will be perfectly happy to take the new needle out of the packet in front of you. In fact, some insist on doing that.
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:iconvictorywept:
VictoryWept Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012  Student Digital Artist
...That's why artist was in quotation marks...
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012   Photographer
I know, I just replied with a bit of extra info :aww:
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:iconvictorywept:
VictoryWept Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2012  Student Digital Artist
Ah. Ok, then that's cool.
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:iconsvataben:
Svataben Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
True.
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:iconjuliabohemian:
Juliabohemian Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Thanks to OSHA, your chances of getting an STD from a needle or a blood transfusion, unless you are a recreational intravenous drug user, are slim to none. So your relationship is probably safe. Unless you use heroin or sleep around.

Also -beware of hypothetical questions in general when talking to women. It never ends well.
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:iconyukih:
YukiH Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Every homie for themselves! Remember, what people say they will do might not be exactly it when it happens.
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:iconsangrde:
Sangrde Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
First, it was silly that you brought that kind of subject in a conversation.

Second, she was silly --for being too honest- that she would leave you if something ever happened -- she shouldn't be saying that even she would leave you.
But seriously why would she stay w/ you and spend her lifetime with a guy with a STD, risking her health and life when she's not even married with you & not responsible for that? Seems like you're selfish.

It is understandable that you think that way, however, her thought is also understandable to me.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
You are 100% correct. I shouldn't expect her to do that for me. I guess that the fact that I would do that for her is enough to think that she would do that for me. And yeah, I expected her to just sugarcoat it a little bit, you know? Humor me a little bit. Tell me what I want to hear, even though I know she's lying.
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:iconrockstarvanity:
RockstarVanity Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012   Photographer
Humor me a little bit. Tell me what I want to hear, even though I know she's lying.</span>

Would you really prefer that to honesty? Surely it's better to know where you stand with someone so that you can make choices based on reality, not head games. What you asked her was a pretty serious question and probably not something that many people actually give much thought to on a daily basis and she gave you an honest answer (even though it wasn't the one you wanted to hear).

I think you have two options here. First of all, you need to accept where she stands on the situation (although it'll probably never actually arise, and also people's feelings on things change when something is a reality rather than a hypothetical) because that's her choice that she's entitled to make. If you really like her and can get past that one conversation, then you can choose to stay with her. But if it's going to eat away at you and make it impossible for you to be happy in the relationship, then you could consider leaving.

She was honest with you. You owe her the same. I hope that you find a solution that you're comfortable with :aww:
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Why should she risk her health and safety for you?
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:iconeldingagunman:
EldingaGunman Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Condomscondomscondomscondoms.

But yes, I agree with what the other people here have said. There are other ways to get blood-transmitted STD's than from needles, like being assaulted by a weapon that broke the skin of someone with such an STD. However, in the states, it is incredibly unlikely that you'd get it from such a source if you live in the states, due to the high level of hygiene executed by official health care. So if you got such a disease, most likely she would assume you cheated on her.

And even if that was not the problem, there is always a chance of a condom breaking. I hate to tell this to you but there really is no way to be safe. If the hypothetical disease was something like AIDS, I think it's pretty understandable that she'd be very careful about the risks of catching something that is potentially fatal. It doesn't automatically mean she doesn't love you or will stop loving you, but living in a lifelong sexless relationship/living with a constant risk is pretty heavy too...
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:iconself-epidemic:
Self-Epidemic Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Honestly, if my partner got an STD I would highly doubt they got it from some obscure source.

I wouldn't blame her, I mean, you get aids and she will die from it? Thats selfish?

No. Though as angelishi says, you're an idiot.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
You are right.
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:iconthegroovymurphy:
TheGroovyMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I was was you I'd dump her. Sounds to me like you're looking for someone who unconditionally loves you. Turns out she sees your relationship differently.
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Putting your partner through hypothetical scenarios to make them prove their love to you is selfish, immature and detrimental to the relationship.
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:iconravynnenevyrmore:
RavynneNevyrmore Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
This.

Hello, sexy. :eyes:
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
That's stupid. Wasn't trying to prove anything. It came up randomly in a conversation.
However, it is detrimental to the relationship. You're right about that.
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If it hadn't been your purpose to prove her love, you wouldn't be crying in here about "unconditional love" and how "omg my girlfriend would leave me for this!!!".

Also, I just read you two have been together only for a year... :lol:
Your thing can barely be called a relationship. Relax and stop being so clingy.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Who are you to say what's a relationship and what isn't? You're just juding it by time. Our 1 year relationship has more spark than some people that have been together for 5 years.

Thank you for your input. But if you read the other responses, you would see that we kissed, made up and I realized the error of my ways.

:yum:
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A person who's been in one for over 7 years, that's who. :unimpressed:
Not just by time, by everything you've said in this thread, you're babies. :yawn:

I'm not going to read every single thing that comes out of you, kiddo. It's good that you know you were an ass, kudos.
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Takes a real man to take ownership for his mistakes. So yes, I was an ass. A royal ass. And I begged for forgiveness. It's a new relationship, and I'm allowed to fret about what goes on it. I make mistakes, and I learn from them. We're both learning and growing together everyday. What point are you trying to make?
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:iconangelishi:
angelishi Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
...None? I thought the convo was over.
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:iconkyteglory:
KyteGlory Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
I think that if my partner told me he got an STD from a blood transfusion, I'd say "prove it." For one thing, STDs from blood transfusions are rare, as only blood-born pathogens can be transmitted through blood donation, and in the United States, screening and testing for these pathogens is mandatory. Reusing needles is prohibited. So unless you abuse drugs or receive your blood transfusions from an emergency ward in Mozambique, you have no reason to be worried about getting an illness from a needle or transfusion. I wouldn't be surprised if your girlfriend thinks "if I get infected by a dirty needle or transfusion, would you still love me" is cheater's code for "if I tell you an extremely flimsy lie to cover up my affair, would you believe me."
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:iconglori305:
Glori305 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Boy, I wish that DA had a "like" button.
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:iconbeesull:
BeeSull Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
^This. I know that's what I'd think. Ha ha! :lol:
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:iconthe-vibeke:
The-Vibeke Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Wow. I guess it shows she really doesn't love you as much as you love her. :(

Maybe it's time for you to find a girlfriend who will really apprentice you and love you unconditionally?
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:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012   Traditional Artist
There is nothing wrong with being selfish with your own health and safety.

Since you two are still babies in the relationship (meaning under 5 years honestly) then a lot of things can change and happen.
If you were in my situation where I'm going on 7 years with my s/o then we would figure out a way to make it work and keep going on.
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:icontheliarwolfram:
TheLiarWolfram Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Filmographer
I'd use condoms. And in all probability, the disease you'd get from a blood transfusion would be hepatitis, which is transmitted through blood, not sex.

But really, what are the odds that you're going to have a bad blood transfusion? And why would you be sticking needles into yourself? Seems silly.
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:iconenuocale:
EnuoCale Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Wait... you're NOT supposed to stick yourself with random needles you find? :paranoid:
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:iconitzala:
Itzala Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
I'm pretty sure you are, maybe they're just misinformed.
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:iconeldingagunman:
EldingaGunman Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
What?! Really? Who would've known? :ohnoes:
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
Its just the whole concept of unconditional love.
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:icontheliarwolfram:
TheLiarWolfram Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Student Filmographer
How long have you two been together?
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:iconrapidfire1012:
Rapidfire1012 Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012
About a year.
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