Odd topic, I don't know what to do


LifeofRoleplay's avatar
Okay, I recently got a call from a doctor that my late fiancé would visit before and after a hunt, just as a health precaution, and, apparently, my fiancé had sperm placed in a sperm bank, just in case anything ever happened to him, and I wanted to still have his child… I've been thinking about this all day, and I don't know if I should or not. I'm asking the opinions of others around here, because I'm lost.
It's been quite a while since my fiancé died, and not a day goes by without me thinking of him, but I don't know if I should have the baby or not, because I'm afraid of something happening to me, and forcing my horrid childhood upon my child. What do you think?
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djdanilly's avatar
You know if you think you aren't ready that is fine. As long as you know where the facility is maybe you can ask to put it on hold just for you. You can deal with your other problems before you make any decisions. Life is about making hard decisions. Thanks
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
I know life has a lot of hard decisions, and I've decided that I will have the baby, it's just that I wasn't sure about it because I had a pretty horrible childhood, and I was afraid of something happening to me that'd leave the child in a similar situation, but as someone else said, the chances of something like that happening are pretty low.
Thanks for what?
djdanilly's avatar
I am a counselor inbox me
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
Alright, thank you very much
Dancing-Kiwi's avatar
I'm 15; I have no place to suggest anything to you.

But it just really..touched me. His gesture, a sort of last...gift?
Horrible words, I can't explain it. But I'm sure he was a very lovely man, & I think he would be content with whatever you choose.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
I get what you mean, and I guess it was, kind of. He was terrified of anything happening to me since we first met, and it went from there, until, one day, we were talking about a hunting trip, and, for some reason, I brought up the what ifs about his death. It's funny how just a few what ifs can put a whole lot of reality into a person. He was one of the kindest people I've ever met, and I know he'd be happy with anything so long as I was.
MangekyoMarie's avatar
Okay... I know personally if this happened to me (I'm engaged now) I would have my fiance's children. But that's me. There's things you need to consider... If you wish to marry another man in your future, some men wouldn't wish to get involved with a woman with children. It eliminates a lot of men from your dating field sadly. Personally I think if a man can't love and accept all of you, which is also accepting your child/children then he's not worth it. Not true unconditional love. Your fiance put his sperm placed in a sperm bank for a reason... Now it's your decision. Do you want his children? Do you want to be a single mother? Do you want them to have a father? Will you fall in love with another man for him to take the father role?

Questions you need to ask yourself... Look into your heart deep and follow what you think is right. God Bless.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
I've decided that I'm going to have the baby (though, I'm worried about the needles part) because I really do want to have his child, and I know I could manage as a single mother, my friends will help me if I need it anyway, but I could manage on my own too. The father figure part is just what I don't know about, it'd be good for someone to be there for him/her, but I think my fiancé was really the only man out there for me, so I don't know if it'd happen or not.
Thank you.
MangekyoMarie's avatar
I'm glad, don't worry. Everything will be fine and as I said before if you can't find another man who loves you unconditionally, than he's not worth your time. A good man will love you and your child. I wish you all the best. And it was my pleasure to help, if need anything feel free to note me. God bless.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
Alright, thank you very much
MangekyoMarie's avatar
My pleasure to help.
Solum-Ipsum's avatar
Wait it out. Build a life to be able to raise his child later, if you will still feel like it. His seeds are safe in the bank, they won't expire there afaik.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
Okay, thank you. I've already decided to have the baby now, because I am sure I could raise it.
Solum-Ipsum's avatar
:D I wish you the best! Blessed be all three of you! :hug:
Mitchialia's avatar
The only thing is..who's to say you won't find another man? I'm pretty sure he wouldn't really want you to have another man's child and could be hurt if you chose someone else's sperm over his. Also if you're single and want a child I would suggest waiting until you have a father figure or life partner because you might not be able to afford it alone, children need a lot of attention from one parent or another so there always needs to be someone there to help raise the child, if something happened to you, they'd have that father figure or parental figure, and even in this day in age, complications can and do still happen in child birth. If your fiance is dead it's probably best for you to let him lie peacefully, move on and not create a child who's actual father is already lost when it isn't necessary.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
I know, and I have people around, who really want to help me, whatever I choose, who have said they'll provide the financial support, if I need it; they all want to be involved in the child's life, because we all miss him. My fiancé just wanted me to be happy, and so that's what I'll do, be happy. It was by chance that I actually met someone who liked me, because I'm 'difficult, and too instinctive' as said to me by one of my foster parents. I do things that are outside of the normal comfort zone of people; even a lot of the people I hunt with (so, in theory, I should have a closer bond with them) don't like me.
I know that children need attention, and that there are sometimes complications during birth, but I really want this.
I've decided that I'm going to have the baby, and my decision won't change now.
Mitchialia's avatar
Your decision is entirely up to you. Just consider the future expenses and the fact that once you have a child you can never ever unhave it. Even though you might have family, if something comes up with them you shouldn't rely on them to take care of YOUR problems.
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
I have one living family member, who suffers from dementia, it's my friends who help me. I'm not in a bad financial situation at the moment, and I hope I won't ever be, but even if something did come up, I wouldn't go relying on others.
WhiskyOmega's avatar
If you believe with all your heart that you're ready to have a child, be able to support it and give it all the love it will need without a father then I would say to go for it. However, if you're having doubts, are not sure if you can give the child the life it needs then I would consider waiting a while until you're in a position both mentally and financially to go ahead with it.

If you're still young then there's plenty of time for you to have the child, you don't have to rush into it or feel like u need to make a decision soon. Cryo-stasis technology is very advanced now and so you won't have to worry about his DNA being destroyed before you can decide.

Whatever choice you make I hope you the best and lots of Happiness. :hug:
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
:hug: Thank you. I've decided that I'll have the baby, and hopefully all goes well ^^
L1LxFR3AK's avatar
Well, you say you want to but, you're not sure if you should. If you think you're strong enough to hold and care for a child for about 20 years, then go for it. If you think you shouldn't, its understandable
LifeofRoleplay's avatar
Thank you for your input (it's all I can think of as a reply!!! XD) and I think I'd do okay, so I've decided that I will.
Now to call the doctor back =_=