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December 10, 2012
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I'm fine...

:iconcutters-keep-it-icy:
cutters-keep-it-icy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
Well. Not really. I've been pretty depressed for the last five years or so. Big changes i didn't handle etc etc.. Over the past five or so years i have been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and a social phobia, so my current situation kind of makes sense. Just graduated high school, with one friend intact. Three moved away, One began dating 40 year olds and decided we were all pathetic and that just left us two. I've never had a boyfriend. I had a grad escort, and i thought we had a great time. I suppose i was delusional. 17 alone and pathetic. Fun times no?

To try and turn my life around I've started losing weight. Thin people are happy and perfect, aren't they? That's what the internet would have me believe. 300 calories a day and i was losing weight of course. But not fast enough. I've started to abuse concerta medication to give me a helping hand. I know all of this is wrong i should be happy with me and certainly not be using someone elses prescription meds. But I've tried and i'm tired.

I'm not one for asking for help. I don't expect replies - you guys dont know nor care about me and i respect that.

I just needed to see all of this in writing. To make it real for myself.
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Devious Comments

:icondjdanilly:
djdanilly Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2012  Professional General Artist
I am a counselor, and minister. Depression is hard to shake. It all comes down to doing what you love. Try writing it down in a journal. Contact me. I am willing to help. Thank you
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2012  Professional General Artist
Sure they say that if you eat healthy, you will feel good also, but I think there's more to it than just that. I don't know anything about these disorders, and I kinda know how it feels to not have many friends, but what I want to say is that, if you are a strong and independent person, you eat healthy, exercise, work, have a hobby you get good at, build up your confidence, the rest will come your way eventually. If you feel good about yourself, maybe you can let others in too? meet new friends, start talking to people etc.
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:iconmangekyomarie:
MangekyoMarie Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012
300 calories a day... my friend, that counts as one meal. You need a change of lifestyle. Healthy eating, get off the meds please and be proud you're single. You're still young and love will come along for you if you're patient. Friends come and go, I understand I have lost many friends and is hard making new. There will be times you're alone and don't worry, please don't worry you'll be okay. I also have suffered from anxiety and it's all in your head. Focus on things you love in the present, look to the future with a positive outlook. Think positive and positive things will happen, will make you happy...

I really understand how you feel and I wanna help or if you just need someone to vent to, please feel free to note me anytime. Good luck.
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:iconfxuker:
Fxuker Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012  Professional General Artist
*Gives you a virtual air hug!* I needed to write that down to, to make it real D: Cheer up :\
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:iconmeddiefletcher:
MeddieFletcher Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
I think you need to learn to love yourself. What gives other people the right to say who you should be? And I've never had a boyfriend either. I think that makes me a strong and independent woman. I've been learning how to live with myself, and trying to become a responsible person, learning to handle the consequences of my actions on my own. I don't want to be dependent on others for my well being. As for dealing with my own anxiety problems, it's been helping me a lot to try to force myself to physically relax in anxiety inducing situations. I find if I focus on being physically relaxed I become more emotionally relaxed. I just have to make sure I don't miss anything like my jaw and mouth. But that's just my experience.
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:iconsomedaysakuhin:
SomedaySakuhin Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Professional General Artist
Sure, I can't claim that I care for you as much as for people whom I actually met before but this doesn't change the fact that I'd like to try to help you just a little bit.


The friend whom you still have contact to is a good one I hope?
Concerning the ones who moved away: Do you still keep contact at least per internet? I know that's not the same as actual contact but keeping a friendship alive feels good. Even if they aren't near you now you might be able to see them more often in the future, at least when you have your own car.
The friend who dates the 40 year olds might have issues him-/herself but no matter how big these are that's no excuse for treating you that way.
So for now, you might want to try to forget about them. Maybe in the end they'll want to be with you again. Then you can decide whether they deserve a second chance or not.

Maybe it's not that bad that you didn't have a boyfriend yet. Look at it that way: You had more time to grow and think about you want so that you can have a more mature relationship when the time comes.
A lot of other people rush into relationships as soon as they can. Man, some even with twelve.
If you want to meet boys but don't want to try the "usual" ways like bars or whatnot, maybe a club or class of something you're interested in can help you meet new people. Joining a certain club eg. makes sure that you share at least one hobby...

Being thin isn't the absolute magic potion as well. Yes, you wrote that you know that already but still... Oh well, I don't know if it helps but I know thin people who are often angry and people with overweight who are overall cheerful and happy as well as the opposite. Body mass surely isn't an index of happiness alone.
Of course it's good to try not to gain too much weight but maybe sports will make you happier than eating nearly nothing.
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:icondorkface4:
dorkface4 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
A relationship will not make everything suddenly better in your life. Also, exercise and eat the proper amount of food. You're starving your body, it's going to eat your muscle and keep your fat. You want to lose weight? Do it the healthy way. Healthy people are attractive.

You're 17 and you've never had a boyfriend. That's pretty COMMON. Hell I know a guy who's 25 and has never had a girlfriend.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student Writer
If you don't want help it was stupid of you to post this on the Help With Life forum. You have a journal on here, you know.

If you do want help, feel free to say what with specifically and it'd give us on here something to start with.
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:iconspookyink:
SpookyInk Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
300 calories a day will only make you gain more weight whenever you eat. its a crash diet meaning it works for a short amount of time but then crashes and you gain twice the amount of weight.

be happy about yourself and accept who you are. That is the key to happiness.
some thin girls aren't happy and actually think their fat. I'm not 'thin' but people call me positive things but I believe I'm fat and nasty.

stop being so negative and live life like how you.want to.
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
Why not write it in your journal then? instead of on the " HELP with life forum.
If your not expecting help it's better to do that or wait write it in your personal diary.
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:iconpmmurphy:
PMMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
he/she isn't expecting but that does not mean he/she doesnt want. People who are depressed like this generally have difficulty wording themselves and saying how they really feel.
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
I see so many posts like this on DA. I'm depressed and so on. Well of course you're going to get replies there are actually decent, helpful and kind DA members on here. She's just making a mess in the DA help forum. I understand he/she is going through a tough time, but I can clearly see he/she doesn't want actual help. But wants others to pity him/her. If that's the case they should go and seek professional help! It's been going on for years.
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:iconpmmurphy:
PMMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is how it begins man. You just don't simply go to professional help like that. It starts out as just wanting pity and expressing yourself here and there. Then eventually you actually do something about it. That's if nobody steps in to help her that can physically touch her that is. There is also a chance she will just continue to do this and never go get professional help because nobody really sits down to aid.

Professional help is a scary thing because people don't want to admit something is wrong with them mentally. Also professional help isn't the same as getting feedback from peers or genuine people. I evidentually post all my problems on the internet whether i am getting professional help for them or not. It feels nice to see a group of people who care and people who post even if i don't take their advice.
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:iconkoyukuk:
Koyukuk Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
"Professional help is a scary thing because people don't want to admit something is wrong with them mentally."

OMFG THIS.
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
So... you are hoping to have circle jerks and be a drama queen and you really don't care about fixing your shit? You know whats wrong with this world? People like you.

People who see a problem and don't actually do something about fixing said problem, only looking for something to care about your pitiful existence you call a life. Here is the big secret in the universe...

NOBODY GIVES 2 SHITS ABOUT YOU. You are born, you deal, and you die. The thing that matters more than anything else is how you deal, and if you are dealing by making others deal with your shit, then fuck you.

Now... if you actually legitimately care about yourself and actually care about getting shit done RIGHT... they should go and get some fucking help. Peers don't know their left from their right. Professionals exist solely to deal with things clearly over your head."
------- I REALLY hate people who just bitch and don't do shit
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:iconpmmurphy:
PMMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
depression is something you can be diagnosed with. WHen your depressed you need assistance.

You sound like someone who is a little ignorant about what hes talking about.
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:iconerarosaimmortal21:
erarosaimmortal21 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
Yes, you do need assistance. FROM A PROFESSIONAL!
Dur
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:iconpmmurphy:
PMMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
all because someone is talking on a website doesn't mean they are not already getting help from a professional. You know nothing about that person's life and most likely never will. Professional help isn't all chalked up like you would think it is. The only difference between a professional and some random person who has life expierences similair to it is the fact a professional has a degree and the fact they have a degree only.

Professionals actually encourage you to talk to your peers who live life similarily and they encourage you to learn from people who have your same illness or same problems in life. This is how we grow as independant individuals and learn to cope and deal with our stresses on our own. If you constantly rely on a professional your paying tons and tons of money you don't have over nad over again because their help is extremely expensive.
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(2 Replies)
:iconpendawg:
pendawg Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Student General Artist
:iconhugplz:
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:iconpmmurphy:
PMMurphy Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know what its like being scared to socialize, i know what its like not having friends and i definitely know all about anxiety. But i don't have an illness for such things so i don't know it to the degree that you do.

But i will say this, when i have episodes or feel insecure or have down moments in life i chillax wait for the thoughts to go away then make rash decisions when im thinking clearly. It's difficult from time to time but its possible, if i can do it you can do it. Jumping into medications because your unhappy is a bad idea that's how people Overdose. Positive self-assurance is the way to go, on a daily basis tell yourself you are amazing and say 5 compliments even if they are fake. Say them out loud and in a mirror every day you wake up. It will be empty words at first but sooner or later they will start to solidfy into something meaningful.
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