hello, I am a counselor, and spiritual person. You just have to look at the whole picture, and weigh out all your options. Most choices in life are tough, but you have to walk through the pain before it gets better. You can email me your full story. or just to vent ..or at email@example.com So I can get a better look at how to better help you.
I have a job right now and that's part of it since the economy has hit us pretty hard (he's been looking for over a year without much luck). The problem is that it's not in a field where I'd like to stay, and it's not in a company where I see much possibility for upward movement or a career.
We're mostly living here because it's his hometown and his family is here. He's worried about his grandma and wants to be close to her (though if we lived where I was happy, it wouldn't be that hard to come here to visit her).
Well, we aren't married because we're poor. I don't know if I'd say yes if he proposed right now either... since I don't want to be stuck here. Even though I've been bugging him about it for a couple years now.
I'm hoping to give him the "I'm moving, come if you want" speech probably within the next year...
I think part of the reason I'm stuck here is that we made a deal that whoever got a job first we'd move to that city. He got one here, and lost it literally the same day I got mine, and we were on a year lease.
For the marriage while being poor, we did a really simple little ceremony in our back yard. The cake was the most expensive part, and it was only a couple hundred dollars (my mom insisted on buying it). We did our own decorations and stuff, and got an ordained relative to do the official ceremony.
We picked up and moved once to someplace really crappy for me some years ago for near the same reason- he had family down there. And it was 2 hours from the beach, so we could day trip down there. Then my husband lost the job he had, it turned out that a big company had just gone under and there were thousands of people needing jobs, it sucked.
Wound up with me living down there with the kid, since I had a part time job, and him moving back 'home' to help out renovating a house and other stuff in hopes we would be able to afford to move back here.
Yeah, that lasted about 6 months before I had a nervous breakdown, dropped everything, threw what I could fit from our apartment in the car and drove back here for good.
Not really. The nearest stuff that I'm interested in is about an hour drive away. There are a few things in the city that are OK, like a dine-in movie theater with $5 new release movies, but outside the city is kinda hicksville.
I live in the capitol city in my state. It's actually arguably the second largest city (depends on whether you want to count university students).
Can you look for jobs in other cities? Doesn't sound like anything is keeping you there, and you're miserable. I know how that feels, I felt the same about my last city, and sent myself into a preposterous amount of debt to leave it. I don't recommend that route, obviously, but there has to be something you can do to move. And see if there's any day to day temp agencies. Your boyfriend should be trying hard to find a job, of course, but while he looks there might be something he can do to bring a little income in.
I'm here for you too, if you ever want to rant. I know the feeling of being trapped, it's horrible, but you're not alone.