Young sister wants piercings?


SketchySause's avatar
My sister, age 13, 14 in January, wants to get all these odd piercings and stretch out her ears. She was telling me how if our mum doesn't let her, shes going to do it herself. I want to talk her out of it because shes far too young to get that stuff done.

Although, I'm not a great role-model, I also have my ears stretched out, and multiple piercings up my ears.

Anyways, how can I talk her out of it? Should I just buy her fake piercings for Christmas?
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staple-salad's avatar
Fake piercing jewelry is a good idea. Then she can get the look without having the piercing and risking infection.

IMO, piercings really aren't too big of a deal. As long as they don't get a horrible infection really the worst that can come of them is a tiny dot where the piercing was, or maybe permanently stretched ears (though if done right that's not too likely unless you go past I think 6-8g). The important thing is that if she just HAS TO HAVE THEM she gets parental permission and goes to a parlor where it's sanitary instead of having the whole "friend with a safety pin, lighter and potato" route.
Silverfang-Chaos's avatar
Getting her fake piercings would be a good idea, and maybe fake plugs if she's got her ear lobes pierced.
Although I have loads of piercings I completely agree with you that she is way to young. I think you should just talk to her and be honest with her.
TheMarcher's avatar
Tell her to wait with the streching ones at least. The normal piercing don't leave big scars if she should regret it later in life. But there are good surgeons and piercing experts that can fix a stretched ear to =)

It is not a huge deal, and the more you fight her about it the more she is going to want it.
bryosgirl's avatar
If by facial piercings you mean eyebrow and nostril, she is old enough to be making that decision for herself, and assuming she doesn't go for over-sized/heavy weight piercings, it will have very little effect on the tissue. I've met plenty of adults with brow and nose piercings who have no issue in or out of work with such piercings, nor are they treated poorly. At her age, this is her way of standing out, and while some kids may react negatively towards it, overall she should not have any problems socially. Compromise with her on it. Say if she wants to do it, she has to stick to reasonable pieces like a stud for the nostril or barbell for the brow.

The only thing I do agree with you on not allowing is any piercings involving the mouth. The mouth is one of the biggest bacteria spots in the body, and because it is always moist, tissue can't heal properly, so lip and tongue piercings come with high health risks. You could probably even use this as a bargaining piece (she can get the brow as long as she doesn't get the mouth). And for her safety, do not allow her to do it herself!

Keep this in mind, though. As long as she's doing well in school and not getting into trouble, it really doesn't matter how she wants to decorate her body. Don't give her reason to want to rebel.
staple-salad's avatar
I had a lip piercing until I had to take it out for my grown-up job. I had no issues. I know quite a few people with them too, and they also haven't had any issues. As long as you clean the piercing properly, the likelihood of getting an infection isn't terribly bad, even for mouth piercings.

They are dangerous (and extra so when it's something a friend does) in terms of gum recession in the area near the piercing. If the piercing isn't done at the right angle and the jewelry rubs against gums it can lead to dental problems.
Kitten--Mittens's avatar
actually, piercings around/in the mouth heal just fine. and they heal faster than any other piercing, too..the only bad thing about those is biting the jewelry, which could crack teeth. but that can be prevented with shorter bars and acrylic balls :P
staple-salad's avatar
Gum recession is another risk too if it's improperly angled.
Komapsunida's avatar
Its her body mdear, let her do as she likes^^ she's also at a rebellious age, so the more you resist the more determined it will make her^^

Anyway if she doesn't like it then she can always take them out^^
bohobella's avatar
Can you really say anything? I would feel like a hypocrite in your shoes if you have the things she wants already.

That said, my sister pierced herself all over at that age. Surprisingly successfully. She got one infection ever, and it was from one of her professionally done piercings. Her lip also swelled up when she tried to pierce her own lip, but she was smart enough to remove that one. In all I think she had like sixteen piercings at that time in her life, some facial, although no stretching. Now I think she's removed everything but her bellybutton and some along her ear and lobe.

I would let the kid be a kid, the only thing that would worry me is stretching since as I'm sure you realize, there is a point where it won't go back, and reconstructed earlobes look like absolute shit. As she's likely too young to have any idea what she wants in life, doing something that permanent and job threatening would worry me.
Avenvia's avatar
Oh, and I've noticed a couple of people advising you to help her to do them herself if you can't stop her. I'd advise you not to do that. All that does is put any of the risks (and facial piercings do screw up most of the time when people attempt to do them from home) on your shoulders, since you are older and will therefore be considered responsible.

Tell her to either wait until she can legally get them done herself, convince your mother, or stay out of it, because you don't want to get blamed for - at best - a wonky piercing that looks crap and she regrets immediately afterwards.
Avenvia's avatar
Show her photos of keloid scarring, torn piercings, infections and abceses. Tell her that if she wants to avoid that shit she'll pay to get it done by a professional.

My mother disapproved of piercings, so I just waited until I was sixteen and it was my choice. She still doesn't like it, but knows I'm responsible about my health and money and so never went overboard with it. Your sister needs to prove the same thing or wait.

If she isn't concerned about the possibility of being obviously and permanently scarred on her face, you can't really stop her from trying it herself, sadly. Just be grateful she's not after tattoos.
SirBlackmoore's avatar
Tell her that if she doesn't wait til she's more developed then she will get a big nasty keloid and then show her pictures.
ValiaWolfie's avatar
Look up piercings gone wrong. Make her sit through you looking at them.
Besides that, piercers have sterile equipment, it really can be dangerous to do it yourself. More for the reason than it turning out funny, it can get seriously infected. Especially if she doesn't take the proper steps in keeping it clean. o-o
So maybe try to convince her to go to a shop for it instead? it will give her more time to think about it cause it'll cost her to get them.
If she doesn't wanna pay, and that's making it a reason to not get it done there.. Maybe you can convince your mom to take her there for her birthday?
Morthax's avatar
Agreed, doing it herself is bad, bad idea. I suggest you tell her to go to a professional if she wants something done and teach her how to care for fresh piercings. And then step away and let her do it if she likes. Piercings aren't such a big deal nowdays, something small like few extra rings on her ears are pretty damn common sight.
shadee's avatar
Maybe you could talk it over with your mum and see if you can come up with a reasonable compromise, like allowing her to get one simple one for now to see how she likes it and have it done by a professional. Maybe even have the both of you join her and pitch in to pay for it for Christmas if she agrees to not go all out in one go.
siantjudas's avatar
First of all you have no right to judge her on whether she's too young to do anything. Second, it's piercings how is she too young for that? It's not like some bad shit is going to happen if she does.

And did you ever stop to think maybe you're younger sister wants to do it because you have them done? Do you really think that trying to stop her going to come off as anything but hypocritical?

I agree that doing them herself is a bad idea, that's why you, as the older more experienced one, should make sure that if she does get them done that she does it right, and not try to stop her, and not suddenly sit yourself up on this high horse.
SketchySause's avatar
She wants facial ones. I have no facial piercings. You can hide ears, you can't hide your face. she can get her lobes done, i don't care.
siantjudas's avatar
You should still just make sure that she does it right then, since it seems like she's going to do it on her own anyway.
rendjur's avatar
Odd piercings? Like stretching her nostrils!?!? Just kidding.

Eh, is there compromise in this at all? But gosh, definitely do not let her do them herself. I had a friend who got it professionally done (stretched ear lobe) but it got all infected and it started leaking green/yellow pus. It was pretty gross because it crustified onto her ear lobe and just looked like a really infected scab. I'm guessing she didn't take care of it though...maybe. I dunno.

Any way, you could try the fake piercings thing. I wonder if that would encourage her to get the piercings even more, though? But at least she won't be doing it in some sketchy basement...

Can you ask her if she can wait until she's 16, maybe? Give her some time and hope her mind changes by then, heh.

Sorry if this wasn't helpful. You just reminded me of that girl with the crusty ear more than anything. Good luck though!
CedarWoods's avatar
I agree she shouldn't do it herself, and she shouldn't be stretching her lobes out, but my niece was about 14 or so when she had her ears pierced. I went with her and got mine done too. I think perhaps try to discourage her from getting anything beyond a simple ear piercing. When she's older she can make any odd piercing choice she wants.

Also, is it possible she just wants to be like her cherished older sibling?
Sit with her and talk to your Mom about letting her get a simple ear piercing.
SketchySause's avatar
Again, she wants facial ones. Which i am not okay with, and I have none currently. She could get any lobe piercing, and hell, I'd let her stretch her ears to 8g. But I don't want her making any decisionslike this, this young.
CedarWoods's avatar
Yeah that seems right. I guess let her get real lobe ones but buy her fake facial ones.

Idea:

Have you seen Lisbeth's piercings in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo?

If not, here's a picture that shows them all really well:

[link]
dorkface4's avatar
Let her get piercings. Teach her how to look after them.
SketchySause's avatar
Facial ones? Ar 13?