Fake piercing jewelry is a good idea. Then she can get the look without having the piercing and risking infection.
IMO, piercings really aren't too big of a deal. As long as they don't get a horrible infection really the worst that can come of them is a tiny dot where the piercing was, or maybe permanently stretched ears (though if done right that's not too likely unless you go past I think 6-8g). The important thing is that if she just HAS TO HAVE THEM she gets parental permission and goes to a parlor where it's sanitary instead of having the whole "friend with a safety pin, lighter and potato" route.
Getting her fake piercings would be a good idea, and maybe fake plugs if she's got her ear lobes pierced. Although I have loads of piercings I completely agree with you that she is way to young. I think you should just talk to her and be honest with her.
TheMarcherFeatured By OwnerDec 9, 2012Hobbyist Photographer
Tell her to wait with the streching ones at least. The normal piercing don't leave big scars if she should regret it later in life. But there are good surgeons and piercing experts that can fix a stretched ear to
It is not a huge deal, and the more you fight her about it the more she is going to want it.
If by facial piercings you mean eyebrow and nostril, she is old enough to be making that decision for herself, and assuming she doesn't go for over-sized/heavy weight piercings, it will have very little effect on the tissue. I've met plenty of adults with brow and nose piercings who have no issue in or out of work with such piercings, nor are they treated poorly. At her age, this is her way of standing out, and while some kids may react negatively towards it, overall she should not have any problems socially. Compromise with her on it. Say if she wants to do it, she has to stick to reasonable pieces like a stud for the nostril or barbell for the brow.
The only thing I do agree with you on not allowing is any piercings involving the mouth. The mouth is one of the biggest bacteria spots in the body, and because it is always moist, tissue can't heal properly, so lip and tongue piercings come with high health risks. You could probably even use this as a bargaining piece (she can get the brow as long as she doesn't get the mouth). And for her safety, do not allow her to do it herself!
Keep this in mind, though. As long as she's doing well in school and not getting into trouble, it really doesn't matter how she wants to decorate her body. Don't give her reason to want to rebel.
I had a lip piercing until I had to take it out for my grown-up job. I had no issues. I know quite a few people with them too, and they also haven't had any issues. As long as you clean the piercing properly, the likelihood of getting an infection isn't terribly bad, even for mouth piercings.
They are dangerous (and extra so when it's something a friend does) in terms of gum recession in the area near the piercing. If the piercing isn't done at the right angle and the jewelry rubs against gums it can lead to dental problems.
actually, piercings around/in the mouth heal just fine. and they heal faster than any other piercing, too..the only bad thing about those is biting the jewelry, which could crack teeth. but that can be prevented with shorter bars and acrylic balls
Can you really say anything? I would feel like a hypocrite in your shoes if you have the things she wants already.
That said, my sister pierced herself all over at that age. Surprisingly successfully. She got one infection ever, and it was from one of her professionally done piercings. Her lip also swelled up when she tried to pierce her own lip, but she was smart enough to remove that one. In all I think she had like sixteen piercings at that time in her life, some facial, although no stretching. Now I think she's removed everything but her bellybutton and some along her ear and lobe.
I would let the kid be a kid, the only thing that would worry me is stretching since as I'm sure you realize, there is a point where it won't go back, and reconstructed earlobes look like absolute shit. As she's likely too young to have any idea what she wants in life, doing something that permanent and job threatening would worry me.
Oh, and I've noticed a couple of people advising you to help her to do them herself if you can't stop her. I'd advise you not to do that. All that does is put any of the risks (and facial piercings do screw up most of the time when people attempt to do them from home) on your shoulders, since you are older and will therefore be considered responsible.
Tell her to either wait until she can legally get them done herself, convince your mother, or stay out of it, because you don't want to get blamed for - at best - a wonky piercing that looks crap and she regrets immediately afterwards.
Show her photos of keloid scarring, torn piercings, infections and abceses. Tell her that if she wants to avoid that shit she'll pay to get it done by a professional.
My mother disapproved of piercings, so I just waited until I was sixteen and it was my choice. She still doesn't like it, but knows I'm responsible about my health and money and so never went overboard with it. Your sister needs to prove the same thing or wait.
If she isn't concerned about the possibility of being obviously and permanently scarred on her face, you can't really stop her from trying it herself, sadly. Just be grateful she's not after tattoos.
Look up piercings gone wrong. Make her sit through you looking at them. Besides that, piercers have sterile equipment, it really can be dangerous to do it yourself. More for the reason than it turning out funny, it can get seriously infected. Especially if she doesn't take the proper steps in keeping it clean. o-o So maybe try to convince her to go to a shop for it instead? it will give her more time to think about it cause it'll cost her to get them. If she doesn't wanna pay, and that's making it a reason to not get it done there.. Maybe you can convince your mom to take her there for her birthday?
Agreed, doing it herself is bad, bad idea. I suggest you tell her to go to a professional if she wants something done and teach her how to care for fresh piercings. And then step away and let her do it if she likes. Piercings aren't such a big deal nowdays, something small like few extra rings on her ears are pretty damn common sight.
Maybe you could talk it over with your mum and see if you can come up with a reasonable compromise, like allowing her to get one simple one for now to see how she likes it and have it done by a professional. Maybe even have the both of you join her and pitch in to pay for it for Christmas if she agrees to not go all out in one go.
First of all you have no right to judge her on whether she's too young to do anything. Second, it's piercings how is she too young for that? It's not like some bad shit is going to happen if she does.
And did you ever stop to think maybe you're younger sister wants to do it because you have them done? Do you really think that trying to stop her going to come off as anything but hypocritical?
I agree that doing them herself is a bad idea, that's why you, as the older more experienced one, should make sure that if she does get them done that she does it right, and not try to stop her, and not suddenly sit yourself up on this high horse.
Odd piercings? Like stretching her nostrils!?!? Just kidding.
Eh, is there compromise in this at all? But gosh, definitely do not let her do them herself. I had a friend who got it professionally done (stretched ear lobe) but it got all infected and it started leaking green/yellow pus. It was pretty gross because it crustified onto her ear lobe and just looked like a really infected scab. I'm guessing she didn't take care of it though...maybe. I dunno.
Any way, you could try the fake piercings thing. I wonder if that would encourage her to get the piercings even more, though? But at least she won't be doing it in some sketchy basement...
Can you ask her if she can wait until she's 16, maybe? Give her some time and hope her mind changes by then, heh.
Sorry if this wasn't helpful. You just reminded me of that girl with the crusty ear more than anything. Good luck though!
I agree she shouldn't do it herself, and she shouldn't be stretching her lobes out, but my niece was about 14 or so when she had her ears pierced. I went with her and got mine done too. I think perhaps try to discourage her from getting anything beyond a simple ear piercing. When she's older she can make any odd piercing choice she wants.
Also, is it possible she just wants to be like her cherished older sibling? Sit with her and talk to your Mom about letting her get a simple ear piercing.
Again, she wants facial ones. Which i am not okay with, and I have none currently. She could get any lobe piercing, and hell, I'd let her stretch her ears to 8g. But I don't want her making any decisionslike this, this young.
What are "odd" piercings? Most wouldn't exactly mark you as a freak to society these days. I'd stay away from the eyebrow/lip/face area, though, on the basis that she might not want her face to look like that in 20 years.
Talk into some funky cartilage/that part on the inside of your ear piercings instead. She can put like metal stick things through them and stuff and look very unusual without leaving holes on her face that she might not want to be there in 10 years. Tell her to hold off on the face stuff and get other things pierced for now.
Mercury-CroweFeatured By OwnerDec 7, 2012Professional Artisan Crafter
Well, what is the worst that can happen, aside from a life threatening infection? It will leave a little scar, but that's all. It's not like she wants to get huge facial tattoos or something.
The best thing you could probably do is going to be try to get her to wait, as opposed to convincing her not to do it. For regular piercings like ears, you can't really argue. They're safe and you can get them done in a shop at any age.
Doing ears at home isn't really that hard, and if they do turn our crooked (which they might from a shop, too) you can always just let them heal up. The problem is with keeping things sterile during the actual piercing process.
Lots of people stick something sharp though their ear, then pull it out and shove the earring through the holes, fishing around inside to get it in. That gets all sorts of crud in the hole, which means it's more likely to get infected. When I did mine last time, I used a huge gauge horse needle, put it through my ear, then inserted the shaft of the earring into the needle and pulled it back through.
When it comes to the body stuff, and stretching out the ears, that really needs to be done in a shop with a sterile environment, and those generally won't do piercings until at least 16.
You don't want to tell her she can't, period, you want to tell her she needs to wait until she can get it done and know she's not going to get some horrible infection.
So what if she's doing it to impress people? Does the reason matter? Are you one of those people who think tattoos/piercings should all have a REASON of some kind, or that they should REPRESENT something? Is it wrong if someone just wants to decorate their body because they enjoy looking beautiful?
Also, why are lobe piercings ok but face is not? Face piercings are awesome.
Face it, in that age, we all do things to impress people. Why not? It's all part of learning. We all have to do our own mistakes and go through the "trying to be something" phase before we learn how to just be what we are and try our best. Telling a teenager "you can't do this because I know your thoughts better than you and you're doing it for the wrong reasons" isn't a very constructive way to deal with that phase.
Self-EpidemicFeatured By OwnerDec 7, 2012Professional Digital Artist
No, don't stop her. I know it sounds like its counter-intuitive, this is her life. If you try to restrict her own choices, she'll be bitter, piercings, out of all the things someone could rebel on isn't that awful. Let her, if she likes it, its her body, if she doesn't, she can remove them and they'll go back to normal instantly. Its really her choice, and her body. She maybe young but we're all entitled to learn and decide.
Wow, planning to do it herself is a horrible idea... to get that one out of her mind, you should inform her of what can go wrong when these things aren't professionally (and safely!) done. That should at least stop her on that front.
Otherwise, how to convince her to wait... well, I guess you should tell her what all it entails, including how stretching your ears can gradually leave them sort of strange-looking if she ever decides she wants to take them out. She's probably not thinking about the future like that, but it's important! Also, if she wants to get cartilage piercings, she might not be aware how much time she'll have to put into keeping them clean and properly cared for while they heal. I think that might get her to think again
Aughh, why is she so stubborn? Piercings aren't something to really take that lightly considering so much can actually go wrong... they look simple, but depending on the place, you could potentially mess things up really badly. One of my friends got his tragus done, but he didn't care for it properly (he was cleaning it out, just not how the lady told him to do it, even when I told him he was doing it wrong), and it ended up really red and gross, and he was lucky it didn't get infected. Ended up removing it because it just wouldn't heal even when he started treating it better.