Lots of problems and no time to fix them
I just need to tell someone, ANYONE, because I am at my wits end. So in August I got arrested for purchasing alcohol to minors... which I didnt do... Long story short I went to a show with a friend and 2 of his own friends. I shouldve asked for IDs or something but since both me and my friend are over 21 I figured his friends were too. Sadly they were not and they pinned the buying on me... I lost my job because of it, and it ruined my semester, now im on financial probation from school meaning I have to pay out of pocket next semester, but I dont have a job, and I used all the money I had to hire an attorney, but now I have no money for my other court fees, and no one wants to hire me because at the moment I cant pass a back ground check. I took a car loan to pay as many months as I could of my apartment but coming up soon Im going to be homeless. I dont have any family near. I don't have the money to go to school, pay my rent, or even put gas in my car. I don't know what to do anymore. Im about to consider stripping if nothing happens soon. I apply for over 10 jobs a day, I call back, ask about my application, dress nicely for interviews and it always seem that they go well, but I guess i'm not good enough. Also I have horrible asthma and terrible severe allergies and no health insurance... I thought I was going to die the other day when I ate a piece of bread that turned out to have sunflower seeds in it (I am deadly allergic) it was so scary just sitting there, drinking a whole bunch of water in a half ass attempt to flush it out of my system before my throat closed. I was too scared to go to the hospital because I cant afford to go further in debt.
What am I suppose to do? I try so hard, but I just cant! Im running out of things to try. I tried staffing agencies too, but so far no luck...
I've talked to my family but I cant move even if they were willing to help or I had the money because I'm still stuck in court limbo. I cant go to school. I cant get a job. I cant pay my loan. I cant pay my rent. I cant pay my court fines. In the end I guess I will just end up rotting in jail.
What am I suppose to do? I try so hard, but I just cant! Im running out of things to try. I tried staffing agencies too, but so far no luck...
I've talked to my family but I cant move even if they were willing to help or I had the money because I'm still stuck in court limbo. I cant go to school. I cant get a job. I cant pay my loan. I cant pay my rent. I cant pay my court fines. In the end I guess I will just end up rotting in jail.
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Sounds like a really terrible situation, I have no words really, other than, I truly deeply wish that everything turns out good in the end. You never know, things might look ugly now, but in the end (as long as you don't give up), things might turn around. I would still agree with the rest that tell you to contact your parents for help, it sounds horrible to ask them for money now when you grandpa is dying and I'm sure your family is very emotional etc, but they can't simply leave you like that, you are in a difficult situation and even if it's a lot to ask, they could help you, even to win some time until you can stand on your feet again, finding a job etc. Best of luck my friend!!
Thanks and yes in the end I am very thankful for the fact me and my family are as close as we are, because I know they will help me if I really need it. I just need to personally get over myself and actually ask.
I know things will turn around eventually its just a lot of weight on me right now and I was feeling it especially when I posted this (I had just gotten 3 jobs deny me almost right in a row, it hurt)
Thank you for the luck!
I know things will turn around eventually its just a lot of weight on me right now and I was feeling it especially when I posted this (I had just gotten 3 jobs deny me almost right in a row, it hurt)
Thank you for the luck!
I know it sucks 
especially now when you are really in need of a job, but things will change! don't give up, it usually is like this, every shit falls at once.. but you are strong enough
especially now when you are really in need of a job, but things will change! don't give up, it usually is like this, every shit falls at once.. but you are strong enough
If your current family situation makes it uncomfortable for you to ask for money then how about a trade off? You mentioned your grandfather has cancer (very sorry to hear that). Could he use some help around the house maybe? Going through that is difficult so it couldn't hurt for him to have an extra set of hands around and it would give you a place to stay while you sort things out and get back on your feet. I'm pretty sure there are exceptions for having to stay in state when it involves having to take care of sick relatives. You can't just run off and do it without notifying anyone but you could always contact the proper authorities and ask. Wishing you the best of luck. The shit storm you got for what happened is ridiculously out of proportion.
When I go into court ill have to ask about that, because I do know depending on your probation or something you can move out of state and be required to check in through mail or something (Or maybe what I read was complete bull lol)
That would be a win win.
And dont worry, I figured It would hapen eventually because you know, how dare I ask for help on a help forum?
That would be a win win.
And dont worry, I figured It would hapen eventually because you know, how dare I ask for help on a help forum?
Own up to your mistake and do the best you can. I've managed to screw myself up legally yet I'm still here edging by day to day. How about for starters you stop panicking, and stop making every little thing into a fucking tragedy.
Take control of your life and stop blaming it on other things. Your choices, your actions, stop deflecting the blame, that's why you aren't doing well. Figure out what you need to do, and do it. It really is that simple. No you won't have everything and no it won't be easy, but deal with it.
And strippers make ok money depending on the day and how well they do their job, but they still have to work hard and can't have the attitude that you have to do it. Considering that some of my friends did that as a living, I think it's really close minded of you to say that like it's a last ditch resort. At least my friends who stripped had control over their lives and didn't bitch half as much as you do about how their life has fallen to shit, and fuck some of them would make more than I would in a month in a week. They at least were doing something instead of complaining about it, and taking it far more gracefully and with a lot more courage and conviction. Maybe you should try that.
Take control of your life and stop blaming it on other things. Your choices, your actions, stop deflecting the blame, that's why you aren't doing well. Figure out what you need to do, and do it. It really is that simple. No you won't have everything and no it won't be easy, but deal with it.
And strippers make ok money depending on the day and how well they do their job, but they still have to work hard and can't have the attitude that you have to do it. Considering that some of my friends did that as a living, I think it's really close minded of you to say that like it's a last ditch resort. At least my friends who stripped had control over their lives and didn't bitch half as much as you do about how their life has fallen to shit, and fuck some of them would make more than I would in a month in a week. They at least were doing something instead of complaining about it, and taking it far more gracefully and with a lot more courage and conviction. Maybe you should try that.
Another thing. Things get hard sometimes ok? You obviously know that, and just because you know what you have to do doesnt always mean its so easy to do. This is the HELP LIFE forum, so what the fuck are you doing on here if all you want to TRY and insult people?
Right now I know legally what I HAVE to do, but I can not at this moment do it, I do not have the amount of money I need because I do not have a job right now, I do not have a job right now because the legal issues I was going through (that is literally why I got fired and I think thats illegal but probably not) It is HARD to find a job. I apply to everything, I go out of my way to clean houses, babysit, mow yards, fucking teenager shit you know? But any money is good money.
Ive never giving up or blamed others where blame wasnt due. I did not buy that alcohol and I did not deserve what happened to me, but it did, and its over, and I couldve stopped it if I had stepped back and looked at the situation. Im sure if I had actually tried I wouldve noticed the kids were underaged, but I didnt and thats MY FAULT.
My attitude in general is just fine, I work hard, I am a nice person, easy to get along with, and I put my whole soul into things.
and making everything a fucking tragedy? NO im telling the god damn truth about my situation, so if it seems like a tragedy to you then I guess it is. About me almost dying, that is a fucking truth. Do you have any severe allergies that send you into shock within a few minutes? If not I need you to stfu and read about. It is damn scary.
Right now I know legally what I HAVE to do, but I can not at this moment do it, I do not have the amount of money I need because I do not have a job right now, I do not have a job right now because the legal issues I was going through (that is literally why I got fired and I think thats illegal but probably not) It is HARD to find a job. I apply to everything, I go out of my way to clean houses, babysit, mow yards, fucking teenager shit you know? But any money is good money.
Ive never giving up or blamed others where blame wasnt due. I did not buy that alcohol and I did not deserve what happened to me, but it did, and its over, and I couldve stopped it if I had stepped back and looked at the situation. Im sure if I had actually tried I wouldve noticed the kids were underaged, but I didnt and thats MY FAULT.
My attitude in general is just fine, I work hard, I am a nice person, easy to get along with, and I put my whole soul into things.
and making everything a fucking tragedy? NO im telling the god damn truth about my situation, so if it seems like a tragedy to you then I guess it is. About me almost dying, that is a fucking truth. Do you have any severe allergies that send you into shock within a few minutes? If not I need you to stfu and read about. It is damn scary.
My advice was blunt, but true.
Your advice will always hold true no matter what situation because of course you wont move anywhere if you cant accept whats happen and move on.
Of course you wont get anywhere if your constant attitude is "O woe is me"
What im angry is that you assume because I chose to finally vent a bit and look for outside opinions that I exhibit those qualities, and I can tell you now, I do not. Things are tough, I am stressed, and I rarely ever let things off my chest or talk to people and that adds to the stress and that is my fault, but dear lord let me have my one time to let that stress out and be upset.
Being upset is human, because of things said like what you said I keep it in because that's how I view it now. Complaining. Its really not though.
What Im saying is you dont know everything I have done and continue to do, do not judge me by what I vented. I obviously dont have the time to go into excruciating detail about every little thing im doing.
Of course you wont get anywhere if your constant attitude is "O woe is me"
What im angry is that you assume because I chose to finally vent a bit and look for outside opinions that I exhibit those qualities, and I can tell you now, I do not. Things are tough, I am stressed, and I rarely ever let things off my chest or talk to people and that adds to the stress and that is my fault, but dear lord let me have my one time to let that stress out and be upset.
Being upset is human, because of things said like what you said I keep it in because that's how I view it now. Complaining. Its really not though.
What Im saying is you dont know everything I have done and continue to do, do not judge me by what I vented. I obviously dont have the time to go into excruciating detail about every little thing im doing.
Do you feel better now?
I actually do yes. I feel a lot better getting to say something and getting support from a community I find to be very talented.
It always helps to know you arent the only one out there.
It always helps to know you arent the only one out there.
Well that's all that matters then isn't it.
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How am I deflecting the blame? I already said I shouldve taken better action, I shouldve asked and made sure the people I was with were legal. Is it shitty what they did, of course! Could I have avoided it? Of course!
How the fuck do you know im not doing anything about it? I do tons about it, im constantly on the phone, going out and applying myself and TRYING to stay above the water. Im not, and never was asking for everything, I am stressing out, because guess what I AM A HUMAN BEING! We stress out sometimes.
Of course I reach out for help and advice ONCE and get someone like you whos pretentious and so far stuck up their own ass they cant muster a single nice thing and take everything they read out of context.
Of course my attitude wouldnt work well for a stripper, because I DONT WANT TO BE ONE wow crazy concept right? If it comes to it though Id work just as hard as I did working at other places I didnt want to be. Money is money and im not too entirely picky.
So how about you fuck off since you clearly know nothing about whats going on or what im doing?
How the fuck do you know im not doing anything about it? I do tons about it, im constantly on the phone, going out and applying myself and TRYING to stay above the water. Im not, and never was asking for everything, I am stressing out, because guess what I AM A HUMAN BEING! We stress out sometimes.
Of course I reach out for help and advice ONCE and get someone like you whos pretentious and so far stuck up their own ass they cant muster a single nice thing and take everything they read out of context.
Of course my attitude wouldnt work well for a stripper, because I DONT WANT TO BE ONE wow crazy concept right? If it comes to it though Id work just as hard as I did working at other places I didnt want to be. Money is money and im not too entirely picky.
So how about you fuck off since you clearly know nothing about whats going on or what im doing?
Have you talked to those under aged friends? Are they aware about the consequences of putting you in that position? They should be ashamed of themselves. They should be punished, not you.
Theyre completely aware, but they refuse to take the stand and come clean for anything, and as my lawyer has told me, even if we told them they HAD to come by law, if they didnt go anyway (which im almost sure they wouldnt) that would be even worse for me and the option im getting right now (court fines, probation, and the likes with the possibility of getting my record wiped) would be taken from me.
They know what theyve done... They just dont care.
They know what theyve done... They just dont care.
Have you tried contacting their parents?
Well sadly I dont know where these kids live, I only managed to get one of their numbers :/ I dont even know their real names.
Shouldn't they be in the police reports? Shouldn't you have access to those reports (I'm not sure if that's how it works over there)?
I was the only one that got in trouble out of the 4 of us that were there that day, the minors were even found with illegal drugs on them, and werent taken in (we have some corrupt as fuck cops).
Oh wait I get what you're saying, they should be on there when the police took their names, but I don't have access to it.
Oh wait I get what you're saying, they should be on there when the police took their names, but I don't have access to it.
Well, that sucks.
I can't really tell you what to do. Maybe get a fake passport and start a new life in Canada? I don't know. I hope you get it sorted out.
I can't really tell you what to do. Maybe get a fake passport and start a new life in Canada? I don't know. I hope you get it sorted out.
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Hang in there
Apply to restaurants. They tend to have high turnover and they hire felons. I'm not saying you're a felon, they just don't care about background stuff so much.
Yep, ive been doing that, ive also been turned down by most within my driving area I dont understand why, my resume isnt complete crap or anything.
I dont understand why, my resume isnt complete crap or anything.It's not that your resume is crap, it's that there are still more people applying for jobs than there are job openings. I had to apply to about 500 places before I got my current job. Hang in there and good luck. 