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December 7, 2012
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Lots of problems and no time to fix them

:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I just need to tell someone, ANYONE, because I am at my wits end. So in August I got arrested for purchasing alcohol to minors... which I didnt do... Long story short I went to a show with a friend and 2 of his own friends. I shouldve asked for IDs or something but since both me and my friend are over 21 I figured his friends were too. Sadly they were not and they pinned the buying on me... I lost my job because of it, and it ruined my semester, now im on financial probation from school meaning I have to pay out of pocket next semester, but I dont have a job, and I used all the money I had to hire an attorney, but now I have no money for my other court fees, and no one wants to hire me because at the moment I cant pass a back ground check. I took a car loan to pay as many months as I could of my apartment but coming up soon Im going to be homeless. I dont have any family near. I don't have the money to go to school, pay my rent, or even put gas in my car. I don't know what to do anymore. Im about to consider stripping if nothing happens soon. I apply for over 10 jobs a day, I call back, ask about my application, dress nicely for interviews and it always seem that they go well, but I guess i'm not good enough. Also I have horrible asthma and terrible severe allergies and no health insurance... I thought I was going to die the other day when I ate a piece of bread that turned out to have sunflower seeds in it (I am deadly allergic) it was so scary just sitting there, drinking a whole bunch of water in a half ass attempt to flush it out of my system before my throat closed. I was too scared to go to the hospital because I cant afford to go further in debt.

What am I suppose to do? I try so hard, but I just cant! Im running out of things to try. I tried staffing agencies too, but so far no luck...

I've talked to my family but I cant move even if they were willing to help or I had the money because I'm still stuck in court limbo. I cant go to school. I cant get a job. I cant pay my loan. I cant pay my rent. I cant pay my court fines. In the end I guess I will just end up rotting in jail.
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Devious Comments

:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Professional General Artist
Sounds like a really terrible situation, I have no words really, other than, I truly deeply wish that everything turns out good in the end. You never know, things might look ugly now, but in the end (as long as you don't give up), things might turn around. I would still agree with the rest that tell you to contact your parents for help, it sounds horrible to ask them for money now when you grandpa is dying and I'm sure your family is very emotional etc, but they can't simply leave you like that, you are in a difficult situation and even if it's a lot to ask, they could help you, even to win some time until you can stand on your feet again, finding a job etc. Best of luck my friend!!
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks and yes in the end I am very thankful for the fact me and my family are as close as we are, because I know they will help me if I really need it. I just need to personally get over myself and actually ask.

I know things will turn around eventually its just a lot of weight on me right now and I was feeling it especially when I posted this (I had just gotten 3 jobs deny me almost right in a row, it hurt)

Thank you for the luck!
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:iconlightning-13:
lightning-13 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Professional General Artist
I know it sucks :( especially now when you are really in need of a job, but things will change! don't give up, it usually is like this, every shit falls at once.. but you are strong enough;)
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:iconshadee:
shadee Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
If your current family situation makes it uncomfortable for you to ask for money then how about a trade off? You mentioned your grandfather has cancer (very sorry to hear that). Could he use some help around the house maybe? Going through that is difficult so it couldn't hurt for him to have an extra set of hands around and it would give you a place to stay while you sort things out and get back on your feet. I'm pretty sure there are exceptions for having to stay in state when it involves having to take care of sick relatives. You can't just run off and do it without notifying anyone but you could always contact the proper authorities and ask. Wishing you the best of luck. The shit storm you got for what happened is ridiculously out of proportion. :(
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
When I go into court ill have to ask about that, because I do know depending on your probation or something you can move out of state and be required to check in through mail or something (Or maybe what I read was complete bull lol)

That would be a win win.

And dont worry, I figured It would hapen eventually because you know, how dare I ask for help on a help forum?
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Digital Artist
Own up to your mistake and do the best you can. I've managed to screw myself up legally yet I'm still here edging by day to day. How about for starters you stop panicking, and stop making every little thing into a fucking tragedy.

Take control of your life and stop blaming it on other things. Your choices, your actions, stop deflecting the blame, that's why you aren't doing well. Figure out what you need to do, and do it. It really is that simple. No you won't have everything and no it won't be easy, but deal with it.

And strippers make ok money depending on the day and how well they do their job, but they still have to work hard and can't have the attitude that you have to do it. Considering that some of my friends did that as a living, I think it's really close minded of you to say that like it's a last ditch resort. At least my friends who stripped had control over their lives and didn't bitch half as much as you do about how their life has fallen to shit, and fuck some of them would make more than I would in a month in a week. They at least were doing something instead of complaining about it, and taking it far more gracefully and with a lot more courage and conviction. Maybe you should try that.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Another thing. Things get hard sometimes ok? You obviously know that, and just because you know what you have to do doesnt always mean its so easy to do. This is the HELP LIFE forum, so what the fuck are you doing on here if all you want to TRY and insult people?

Right now I know legally what I HAVE to do, but I can not at this moment do it, I do not have the amount of money I need because I do not have a job right now, I do not have a job right now because the legal issues I was going through (that is literally why I got fired and I think thats illegal but probably not) It is HARD to find a job. I apply to everything, I go out of my way to clean houses, babysit, mow yards, fucking teenager shit you know? But any money is good money.

Ive never giving up or blamed others where blame wasnt due. I did not buy that alcohol and I did not deserve what happened to me, but it did, and its over, and I couldve stopped it if I had stepped back and looked at the situation. Im sure if I had actually tried I wouldve noticed the kids were underaged, but I didnt and thats MY FAULT.

My attitude in general is just fine, I work hard, I am a nice person, easy to get along with, and I put my whole soul into things.

and making everything a fucking tragedy? NO im telling the god damn truth about my situation, so if it seems like a tragedy to you then I guess it is. About me almost dying, that is a fucking truth. Do you have any severe allergies that send you into shock within a few minutes? If not I need you to stfu and read about. It is damn scary.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Digital Artist
My advice was blunt, but true.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Your advice will always hold true no matter what situation because of course you wont move anywhere if you cant accept whats happen and move on.

Of course you wont get anywhere if your constant attitude is "O woe is me"

What im angry is that you assume because I chose to finally vent a bit and look for outside opinions that I exhibit those qualities, and I can tell you now, I do not. Things are tough, I am stressed, and I rarely ever let things off my chest or talk to people and that adds to the stress and that is my fault, but dear lord let me have my one time to let that stress out and be upset.

Being upset is human, because of things said like what you said I keep it in because that's how I view it now. Complaining. Its really not though.

What Im saying is you dont know everything I have done and continue to do, do not judge me by what I vented. I obviously dont have the time to go into excruciating detail about every little thing im doing.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Digital Artist
Do you feel better now?
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I actually do yes. I feel a lot better getting to say something and getting support from a community I find to be very talented.

It always helps to know you arent the only one out there.
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:iconsiantjudas:
siantjudas Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Digital Artist
Well that's all that matters then isn't it.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yes but it was still insanely rude for you to judge me like that which is the only point im trying to get across to you.

The advice you gave is true for everyone, but there are better ways to word it without making it seem like the person isnt doing anything but moaning when all you know for a fact is that on one day out of many they decided to seek help. That's not good for anyones self esteem and it makes you look like an ass. Which you may not have any problem with and if so more power to you.

Theres always a difference between being blunt and being rude.
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(1 Reply)
:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
How am I deflecting the blame? I already said I shouldve taken better action, I shouldve asked and made sure the people I was with were legal. Is it shitty what they did, of course! Could I have avoided it? Of course!

How the fuck do you know im not doing anything about it? I do tons about it, im constantly on the phone, going out and applying myself and TRYING to stay above the water. Im not, and never was asking for everything, I am stressing out, because guess what I AM A HUMAN BEING! We stress out sometimes.

Of course I reach out for help and advice ONCE and get someone like you whos pretentious and so far stuck up their own ass they cant muster a single nice thing and take everything they read out of context.

Of course my attitude wouldnt work well for a stripper, because I DONT WANT TO BE ONE wow crazy concept right? If it comes to it though Id work just as hard as I did working at other places I didnt want to be. Money is money and im not too entirely picky.

So how about you fuck off since you clearly know nothing about whats going on or what im doing?
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:icondtrinidad:
DTrinidad Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Have you talked to those under aged friends? Are they aware about the consequences of putting you in that position? They should be ashamed of themselves. They should be punished, not you.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Theyre completely aware, but they refuse to take the stand and come clean for anything, and as my lawyer has told me, even if we told them they HAD to come by law, if they didnt go anyway (which im almost sure they wouldnt) that would be even worse for me and the option im getting right now (court fines, probation, and the likes with the possibility of getting my record wiped) would be taken from me.

They know what theyve done... They just dont care.
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:icondelusionalhamster:
delusionalHamster Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Have you tried contacting their parents?
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Well sadly I dont know where these kids live, I only managed to get one of their numbers :/ I dont even know their real names.
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:icondelusionalhamster:
delusionalHamster Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Shouldn't they be in the police reports? Shouldn't you have access to those reports (I'm not sure if that's how it works over there)?
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I was the only one that got in trouble out of the 4 of us that were there that day, the minors were even found with illegal drugs on them, and werent taken in (we have some corrupt as fuck cops).

Oh wait I get what you're saying, they should be on there when the police took their names, but I don't have access to it.
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:icondelusionalhamster:
delusionalHamster Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Well, that sucks.

I can't really tell you what to do. Maybe get a fake passport and start a new life in Canada? I don't know. I hope you get it sorted out.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Lol its funny because before all this happened I was going to be going to Canada anyway XD

Once I deal with all this I definitely am.
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:icondtrinidad:
DTrinidad Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Hang in there
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Apply to restaurants. They tend to have high turnover and they hire felons. I'm not saying you're a felon, they just don't care about background stuff so much.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Yep, ive been doing that, ive also been turned down by most within my driving area :( I dont understand why, my resume isnt complete crap or anything.
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:iconmonkeydoodles:
monkeydoodles Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
It's not that your resume is crap, it's that there are still more people applying for jobs than there are job openings. I had to apply to about 500 places before I got my current job. Hang in there and good luck. :hug:
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Wow crazy, well heres hoping! Im still here and kicking, thank you!
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Apply for medicaid.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Omg thats a great idea! Im looking into it right now it even linked me to some more hotlines thatll help locate a job with me.
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:iconpuppy-dangerous:
puppy-dangerous Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
:)
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
I have no solution for you, I just truly hope it goes well in court.
I am happy the background checks are less serious here. Only security classes jobs and people working with children have to do that.

Get some antihistamines for your allergies I use loratadin (they cost next to nothing), they are generally cheap and might help you.

Try everything you can to raise money, avoid loans if you can. I am deeply in debt and I can barely afford to pay my bills each month, so I know what a trap that can be. Try starting your own buisnes, find something you are good at, find good cheap ways to advertise = profit =)

Work hard and things will work out in the end. But it will take time and great effort, and it might not work out on the first try.
Don't give up though!
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I wish I had some form of money making talent, like being a good artist here lol Right now all I got is a lot of yarn and some crochet patterns, im still just a beginner at crocheting but im trying really hard and really fast to get good, make some simple bags, scarfs, hats, and sell those on etsy or something. It's all I have right now :(

Ill look into those antihistamines!

I havent given up yet, but its getting there. And yeah i'm very scared to take out any more loans since I dont want to fall into that hole too among everything else.

Ugh before all this happened I was going to apply for a Uni in Canada where my family is and go to school there, now everything is taking a step back.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Fun fact about some antihistamines they can also stop anxiety attacks. They usually have those over the counter just ask at a pharmacy.
Good luck in court I hope it will be a slap on the wrist. Over here it would be a ticket if it was just a few drinks. Most of the time they just confiscate the alcohol and pour it out. In order for a trial it would have to be a systematic dealing buisness before anything happened.

Try charging more than you think your things are worth, strangely enough people think things are nicer just because they are more expensive =) (look at apple products)

But you are probably going to be set back a year because of this. But that is not the end of the world it is just another challenge you are facing in this life =)
It is not what happens with us that decides success it how you deals with what happens to you that does!
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Thanks so much for the support. I pretty much know by now whats going to happen when I go to court, now its just a matter of how long, and how much money. If I can wrangle a job soon ill be just fine, but you know its stressful when nothing seems to work!

I never was good at putting prices on things lol I think I always under sell the item XD

Oh yeah ive already thought about it and realized that, but thats not so bad, especially if I have a job. I can save up in the mean time.
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:iconthemarcher:
TheMarcher Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
Good luck with everything! You have my support at least! :hug:
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012   Writer
Why can't you just ask to go back home? Or move in with some other relative other than your immediate family?
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Well as stated, my family isnt near me, as in their out of state, and im awaiting legal problems so I cant leave the state as it is. Everyone I could move back in with is not accessible as it is.
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012   Writer
I'm sorry, I didn't know you couldn't be out of state with all of that.

Hm, maybe ask to borrow money from your parents?
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Even thats a little harder than it seems, my dad is retiring soon and my grandpa doesnt have much time left (cancer) so everyone is focused on that and me taking money during all this just seems too much.

I may have to suck it up and ask for a little anyway.
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:iconssensory:
ssensory Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012   Writer
Oh, wow I'm so sorry your grandfather has cancer...

Honestly, if you're looking at potential homelessness, I'm sure your family (sorry I'm talking like I know them - I don't - this is merely an estimation based off of observation of families) would want to give you money rather than to see you suffer like that.

I hope the situation gets better.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
In the end I know my family will help me (if maybe begrudgingly), I just hope it doesnt come to it. I don't want to bring them down with me, and its hard to let them know things are getting this bad.
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:iconsorren-chan:
Sorren-Chan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Have you tried opening commissions? If you advertise on the job offers section, you might get some people ^^

This article really helps when starting commissions [link]

If you like singing or something, maybe you could go to a subway or street corner & belt out some tunes. I know it's begging, but in a way it's still honest work until you can get a real job.

Have faith, one of those hundreds job application will eventually pay off. I know it might not be as soon as you want / need, but better late than never.

I wish I could help more ^^; Heck, I wish I could help you better. Your predicament is very unfortunate. I just hope you don't have to resort to stripping. The best of luck to you. I know we don't know each other, but if you ever needed to talk, I can listen. I'm no good at advice, but I can listen really good. Take care~ <3
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
I dont draw nearly well enough that anyone would want to pay me, and at the moment I dont have the money for any art supplies anyway >_< Nor am I any good with a mouse on paint.

I actually did try singing downtown but I got told I couldn't by a police officer :/ I guess you have to pay something first to be a street performing.

I really really hope one does, any one at all, thanks for giving a reply at least! That helps me feel a bit better. I haven't completely given up hope yet.
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:iconsorren-chan:
Sorren-Chan Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Really? You need a permit for that? Must be certain areas of the world or states that need that. I'm pretty sure all the people I see begging don't get permission. They just do it. At least, the people of Korea do it anyway. I've seen loads on subways just walking the trains playing music, holding out a basket & hope someone drops a dollar in it.

Why don't you try.... hum... make a business! Ok, not like 'Wal-Mart' business. Maybe start small like a lemonade stand in front of your house. Or sell some stuff on ebay. Or maybe offer to clean peoples house. (I don't know if you need a license or anything to do that). But if you offer some sort of service at your house, I doubt you need permission to. I mean, it's your place of residence. But don't quote me on that, I could be 100% wrong XD

As for school, maybe you could get a scholarship or bursary or student loans or something to try & get in. Education is never a waste.

Also, you are most welcomed ^^ I do hope that things will work out for you soon.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
See I dont know! I see people do the same thing where I live, but when I tried I got told I could be arrested!

I thought about something like that, I have sold a bit of my things on ebay, the only reason ive been eating >< My bank account at this moment is literally 24.36 and ive been doing my best to hold on to it. You do need a license for a lot of things though. I wonder if anyone would buy lemonade from a scraggly looking 21 year old girl XD Not quite as cute sounding as a little 10 year old girl.

Yep I have been applying for scholarships but im in a bind there too since now my GPA is below the minimum requirement for most of them :( Im really hesitant to take out any more loans, but it may come down to that.
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:iconwinterrosedragon:
Winterrosedragon Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Anyone? Please?
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