It sounds like a very strange situation, I'll admit. Obviously there has to be something about either you or both your boyfriends that she's not comfortable. It can't be that you're too young in her mind if she's fine with your sister having boyfriends.
Could you or your sister ask other people you know about your current boyfriend and your ex? Is there something about them that puts people off that only your mother is blunt enough to mention?
Alternatively, all I can really think of is that it might be something about you. She might think that you're moving too fast or getting too serious too young (if your sister has had lots of boyfriends, I assume the same isn't true of her). It could even be something borderline irrational, that she won't even admit to herself, like that she feels like your boyfriends are taking your affection and attention away from her.
Dunnu if I'm right about this, but maybe, there is a chance that your mom is being like this by fear of losing you? no matter how many boyfriends your little sister has, she is younger than you, and perhaps your mom doesn't really take it seriously? it's more cozy, more sweet, you know? while in your case, you say that you will move in soon, you take life seriously and you have goals etc, and this is frightening her, she is afraid to lose her daughter. She doesn't want you to leave, so she tells you that all your boyfriends are jerks so that you let him go and stay with her. I'm sure it's just a phase, one day she will realize that you have your own life and can't spend the rest of your life with her. I used to have many quarrels with my parents, especially when I first told them I had met someone I liked. They wanted to move somewhere far away so it would be nearly impossible for me to see him again. My dad threatened to kill him if I ever spoke to him again and my mom teased me about him. Today, she just wants me to be happy, she has another perspective, so whoever I want, she accepts him. And my dad doesn't really care since he thinks I'm old enough to do whatever I want.
Well, I think all in all, you should do what makes YOU happy. It's your life, and you can take control of it. If you're happy with your boyfriend and your mom doesn't approve, then you need to ask yourself this: Is it more important to make my mom happy and me sad, or to make myself happy and have your mom criticize your bf? YOUR happiness is what matters, and if it makes you happy to move in with your bf, then go on ahead!
I think you need to play the game and give her crazy things to ponder.
Tell your mom how you and your man are swingers. Talk about all the bondage gear you two bought over the weekend. Ask her where she best thinks the branding should go (you know, burning a brand into your skin). Say you two are going to prostitute your way across Europe. Tell her you need a good video recorder for X-Mas so your sex tapes look good online.
If your mother is a grumpy person you're not going to change her with words. If you move in with your man and have a good healthy relationship, you do not need her approval or understanding. If you just ignore her taunts and whining and go on with your life she might just shut up after a while because she's not getting a reaction out of you. Maybe even include your dad in activities and leave mom home. That way she can feel like she's missing out.
If you take dad out with you and the man, it's not really a punishment for your mother. You're just making it known that you're not interested in her negativity. That way, if she changes her tune you could possibly involve mother too.
I think moving out is probably the way to go at this point. When I moved out, (lol and in with boyfriend- or rather, we got a house together) I didn't go back to my moms for almost 2 years. She saw our house maybe once. I didn't even talk to her.
It's better now.
Nah, don't worry about it. Nobody will ever be the person she wants for you. When I told my mom I was getting married (this was almost 10 years ago) she actually looked to the sky and wailed 'Nooooooo!'
About her liking your sisters bf, well, that's just something that happens. If they are all jerks, well, then she and your sister both are bad judges of character.
Now she LOVES my husband and says we are the best couple she's ever seen.
Pirate-Marylin-the-MFeatured By OwnerDec 7, 2012 Traditional Artist
That must really have sucked big time! That your mom reacted that way. Did you not feel sad about how your mom reacted? And if so, how did you resolve those feelings. Cause that is what bothers me the most (I guess); just not being able to let go of the feeling that it sucks my mom reacts like that.
It is weird how your mother just came around like that. I really hope it does not take my mom that long, cause I actually like my mom a lot, except for this part.
I am glad it did work out for you in the end, although its saddening it took her that long :/