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December 6, 2012
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A need to change myself and insecurity

:iconzerostorm91:
zerostorm91 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So Its occured to me that Im always just miserable these days no matter what supposed good fortunes befall on me like a job and financialy well-off family. For me the root of the problem is my inability to change my way of life so I can be more comfortable with myself.

One of these changes would be for me to become a more exciting/playboy type person. I havent had a real friend in 4 years (well at least one that I kept in contact for more then a week)and the reason for this is become im way too boring and dont talk enough about silly things like getting high and whatnot. And obvoiusly flirting a lot also seems like the only way to make friends nowadays but again I suck at this because of how reserved I am. I keep telling myself go on storm all you have to do is act cool and talk giberish but It just doesnt come.

The second thing that would help relieve some of my insecurity is for me to become a better artist. I dont really like drawing and I hate the lengthy digital art process but I have to to do it to become a better artist so people will want to be friends with me. The better artist you are the more people will be attracted to you as a individual becuase of how talented you are, Its the reality of the world. My problem is that I cant focus for long periods of time and I only end up working on my art 1/2 hours a day because I get bored of It. So how do I fall In love with art again and make it easier for myself to improve?

Any advice on these subjects is appreciated thank you. Also sorry in advance for any spelling or grammer errors.
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:iconsafva:
safva Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I would actually agree with you on the point where people want to get to know you if you're a 'good artist' :<
And that is something that just sucks ass. Being a "good artist" doesn't make a person more interesting or a good person to talk to. It's a ridiculous assumption many people have, and unfortunately a lot of people actually believe this is true. :ohnoes:

I can sort of relate to your issue here because I've been thinking stuff like this too at some point in my life. Things like I'm a boring person, and I also don't have many close friends because I sometimes feel that I can't relate to them. A close friendship of mine broke down because of that recently.
I would like to say to be yourself. :meow: I've had issues too concerning who I am and how to discover myself, but the more I spoke to people, the more I got to know about the kind of person I am. It's crazy but it totally works.

And perhaps to sort out the drawing problem, try brainstorming the things you like and the things you don't like. Look at photography. Draw from still-life. Try traditional perhaps? :) For some reason going traditional makes me feel awesome. :XD:
Hope I could help even a tiny little bit man :iconglomplz:
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:iconzerostorm91:
zerostorm91 Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know being a good artist won't fix peoples personality problems but if anything it will at least boost my confidence a little. and your right about finding out more about yourself , even just by talking to people on this thread I've become more open minded about the world. I know now that I just need to have the confidence to introduce myself to more people so that's all I can do for now. Thanks for all the advice :hug: it honestly helps. Good luck with the traditional art I'm also just doing some background sketches so well see how that goes ^^;
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:iconsafva:
safva Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Yes yes update moar!! :eager: I want to see a ton of new art in your gallery! :meow:
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:iconworkoutprogress:
workoutprogress Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Photographer
Is your problem more about insecurity in yourself or the way you interact with people?
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:iconzerostorm91:
zerostorm91 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I've realised its more about a generalisation I've created over the years that its improper to introduce yourself to strangers in public or rather just out of place because everyone has their own circle of friends. I had this idea that if I became sort of egomaniac I would have more confidence to overcome this perception.
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:iconworkoutprogress:
workoutprogress Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Photographer
There's probably an underlying feeling of alienation to go along with it which is what's really driving your choices.

If you can't find some minor form of commonality with someone, you won't be able to connect with them. Approaching someone with the mentality of "You are so different." or "You are hostile." will cause a self-fulfilling prophecy and you won't be welcomed. Monkey see monkey do.

Also: Becoming an egomaniac will distance you further from people as you see them as your inferiors.
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:iconzerostorm91:
zerostorm91 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Its hard to relate when the only thing that I have in common with everyone else in my country is that I was born here. Apart from that there's nothing else; I wasn't raised here, I don't speak the native language(out of pride), I don't enjoy the naturally accepted past times. Thanks for the advice I can only try and forget about these things and have a more open mind when it comes to socailising.
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:iconjubalbarca:
JubalBarca Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012   Writer
I have some depressive issues etc. Definitely don't restrict yourself to trying one thing; try writing poetry and prose, making music of some kind, maybe computer programming, just look for thins that can keep your mind occupied. The internet can be helpful too, if you really have too few people around where you are try finding a small to medium sized online community you can fit into based around something you enjoy or like doing. Realspace stuff is generally ideal, but building up links with people and building up confidence in the nicer & safer bits of the net is certainly better than feeling alone.
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:iconysliao:
YSLiao Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2012
Dude I have the same problem you have, and it's been eating at me for years. I tried to act more popular but the shit that comes out of my mouth just don't quite do what other people's words do. I even took classes on how to communicate. Trying to be popular just isn't working, even after years of trying. It still eats at me now, but I'm starting to accept that I can't be who I'm not. Some people can do that, change themselves to match their visions. I can't tell you how much happier they are, 'cos I'm not them, and I don't know them well enough for them to disclose that information to me.

There are people who are indifferent, or out right hate art for various reasons, but are brilliant and quite likable in their other characteristics. If you're not that into digital art or visual art in general, don't waste your life going into it.

It's a long process, but you gotta find out what really makes you stay up late at night, forget to eat and pee, when you're doing it. Accept that, get good at doing it, and you should meet like-minded people that way.

Well good luck to both of us, as I'm not out of the woods either.
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:iconzerostorm91:
zerostorm91 Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the reply :).They say your meant to grow out of it and its just a phase like those angsty teen years. That being said Your probably right though about just having to be yourself. If I can't change though Ill have to find a way to stay mentally sane without friends like getting people to stroke me ego.
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