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December 5, 2012
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i have never been so depressed

:iconwestillcanfindaway:
westillcanfindaway Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2012
well, i moved out a couple of months ago for University
1. I am not liking Languages at all. I knew it is not one of those courses that get you a job right after you graduate but - i feel like I'm learning nothing useful.
First of all it's not attending Languages at University that will make me help languages; I learned english on the internet and I started studying german as a self taught this summer. And I don't really think that literature will get me anywhere... I can just become a teacher in a college but I've seen a lot of literature teachers and that's not what I want to be
(please don't misunderstand me, I love reading and have read for my whole life... and I can continue to read without getting a degree in literature)

(on top of that, I think I am dropping russian. the only other language that I might pick now, two months after the courses started, is english. but 99% of the people who study languages study english... it's not useful, because english is like, the minimum required to have a job...)

2. I left my boyfriend after like three years. He was too jealous and the is the kind of guy who wants to have all the attention on him. He's in the same city, we moved out together, but not in the same house. I feel so damn alone. Moreover since we're too used to have the other one around and we're both alone we're just friend with benefits by now but this will not work of course.

3. I could change faculty, of course, yeah, but I don't know what to do. I like reading, I'm good at drawing (I never studied drawing techniques... just always had this kind of inclination), I'd like to work with animals, history fascinates me and blah blah blah... in these days of depression I've thought that I'd like to be a zoologist or a photographer for National geographic, this kind of things, I've thought all sort of things, but I don't want to risk again: I already feel stupid since I have moved out from my city and now I don't even like what I am studying.

I feel so desperate. My head hurts, I am alone, I cannot tell about all this to my parents since I feel too guilty for being here and I never shared my feelings with them... I feel bad about missing a year, I feel like I'm wasting my time and money, I'm so anxious, I'm following courses but I can'tstudy because I'm always thinking to a way to escape from my faculty... I cry 2-3 times a day and I really don't see how this could end....
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:iconstaple-salad:
staple-salad Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012
1. Knowing language is worthwhile. Though if it's something that you enjoy learning more at a self pace (obviously that works for you because you're English is better than some native speakers) and need credits, maybe see if there is an online or "distance learning" class where you have more time to self-teach and less time sitting in a lecture that you find useless? Many colleges and universities offer these, even for students living on campus. I found them to be very handy when I was in university.

Literature is surprisingly useful. Reading on your own is nice, but having a hand analyzing them is nice too. I don't think getting a degree in it would necessarily be a good idea though, unless you did want to become a literature teacher.

2. It's hard. But now you're near a bunch of new people and you never know who you might meet. Staying attached to someone who wasn't working would have held you back from the amazing people you're going to meet at university. Just try to use the opportunity to join clubs or societies that interest you and make some friends. It's hard, but if you're in a place with likeminded people, you'll be able to find more people to hang out with. I joined Rocky Horror in college and those were the best 4 years of my life!

3. With a good number of majors, you can pick one when you are a sophomore without too much trouble. I didn't declare the major I graduated with until I was a junior and graduated in 4 years (helped that I'd taken some classes pertaining to it earlier). My boyfriend did the same. I wish I had advice on picking one to get a career, but I'm still trying to figure that out for myself and I graduated with a "good for marketing!" major over a year and a half ago.

Does your university have a crisis line or counseling center? I frequented both when I was in university. They are very good resources when you're feeling down and need some direction.
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:iconwestillcanfindaway:
westillcanfindaway Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2012
1. yeah I have the B2 certificate in english but I had a text this week which said I was a C1 and I realized that I arrived until B2 studying and then jumped to C1 by myself, when I went in london and then met people and practised real language. Of course I am happy since mine was the best result in my class, but... it's another proof I don't need this degree to learn languages!
anyway I think I'd rather study something more practical and then learning languages on my own and then I could go to work abroad...

2. Yeah being single surely helps... not only for the relationships, I think that I don't feel so social... I want to focus on myself, my possibilities, I want to discover what I want to do with my life and having a person who has been everything, my life, my project, my ambition, with me... it didn't help me. Right now I feel like if there's a huge hole in my life, but I can't call him back since I have to fill it with my projects as a single being.

3. Keep in mind I am in italy, here things work a little different! Here, with a degree in Foreign languages and Literatures, I could choose three different ways: General Linguistic, Translation/Interpreting/Cultural Mediation, or something about Literature... I think that if I should go on with this course I'd pick Linguistic. It may be kind of useless but it kicks asses :)

I've been to the counseling center and they gave me a form to fill, I filled it and they said they'll call me like... near the end of january, woo-hoo :) anyway I'll search for other structures providing the free service...

thank you (:
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:iconplanetsomsom:
Planetsomsom Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Do you still like languages, though? Because they don't seem SO useless. There are lots of careers that require multiple languages. If you can learn them (I simply can't...) and you really like them, it's not a worthless study. If you're feeling pressure to take something "useful" but can't imagine anything other than languages, have you considered Sign? When I did pastry arts (another useless trade), I was kinda jealous of the sign language interpreters. They attended all of the classes, learned all of the material (as they were translating) and got to go on all of the fieldtrips! LOL Plus, it's a gorgeous language.
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:iconwestillcanfindaway:
westillcanfindaway Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2012
cool! actually I was thinking about 3 things
- If I keep Languages and Literatures I'll get a major in Linguistic.
- I could switch to Biological Sciences and then get a major in Zoology
- I could study Illustration and develop my drawing skills

those are the opinions I'm considering... i've just talked to my mother and she was happy for my mark in english, but she is also worried because I've dropped russian... I know she could never take decisions instead of me, but I share her opinion, I'm wasting my time
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:iconrendjur:
rendjur Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
I'm sorry to hear this.

It sounds to me it might be better if you switch faculties...perhaps try general studies and get a hang of what you like? Take a few classes spread out (eg. science, English, music, art, etc), and I think it can give you a good idea of what you might like. This isn't necessarily a bad thing either, because they may contribute to your degree later so it's not as thought you're wasting time figuring out what you like! Heck, even the linguistic stuff can contribute to other degrees. Because if you are crying 2-3 times about this...well, why invest so much energy in something you dislike?

I would also go and try to speak with someone (like an academic counsellor or something). I think they would have better advice for you (since I'm not sure how schools run where you live). Because right now it sounds like school isn't your only problem!

Is this your first year in University? If so, gosh, you still have time to figure out what you want to do! Going into University, I think a lot of people expect to FINISH IN FOUR YEARS, GET A JOB, GET MARRIED!! Kind of thing. I used to think that way, but my views have changed greatly. I've extended my degree by about a year/year and a half...but you know, there really is nothing wrong with that. I know tons of friends who need 5-6 years (instead of 4) to finish.

You might feel bad about telling your parents...but I think you will have to at some point. I didn't tell my parents I failed a course, but they found out. They were more sad I didn't tell them, actually.

I wish you the best of luck!
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:iconysliao:
YSLiao Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
Try chaplaincy or a religious leader for confidential talking-to for now. Definitely fight tooth-and-nail for a talk with career counsilor/advisor. Be shameless and desperate, because your situation is urgent and dire. Wait outside their office first thing in the morning, and refuse to leave until you've set an appointment with them. They will definitely have more knowledge and resource about how to craft a career based on your skills, strength, and interests. Your career advisor isn't someone you're out to be best friend with anyway, so who cares if you're being annoying and insistent, and they don't like you? They still have to do their job or lose it. I wish I knew that when I was in uni. I not only lose 1 year, I lost almost 3 years, got out just with my degree intact. Don't end up like me. If you lose 1 year, don't lose more. Fight!
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:iconstarlit-sorceress:
Starlit-Sorceress Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Professional Artisan Crafter
Does your school have career counselling? Academic advisors? It sounds like a lot of what you're feeling about your classes comes from uncertainty about your degree and/or job, and if you talked to someone who knows about that sort of thing, you'd probably feel better.

You seem to be really awesome at learning languages on your own. You could sit down with a careerer counsellor/academic advisor and find out what you'd like to do with the languages you learn. Then you can take classes to make you better at that thing and study languages on the side by yourself

There are a lot of jobs where it would be much better if you knew more languages. For example, if you went into business and/or marketing, and you put on your resume that you were at least semi-fluent in 7 languages that you learned all by yourself...then people will be impressed and hire you for areas related to international things. :)
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:iconcrystalwaterfall:
crystalwaterfall Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012  Hobbyist
I'm sorry you feel about that. But i feel to say you should drop out University, before you must pay and waste money...unless some exams you wll take are also avaiable for other Uni-s!!
If you feel to not belong there, then leave and try to understand what you really want to do. In the while, you can always search for a little job in order to save some money for you and help your parents. I'm not saying it's so easy to do, but it's a way...Photography it's great, zoology too, bt the decision is totally yours you know.
Try to ask your friend some help, some infos about other Uni-s :) Maybe you can get interesred in...and if you have the possibility, why not to follow other courses? (in my country i can) You will make up the ideas..

As for you bfriend,well..friends with benefits is great just until the orgasm. Sorry for being that rude, but it's so..I think you should spend out more time with other peolple, maybe someone who study languages with you. Or invite someone to stay a little in your house, maybe it0ll work..
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:iconwestillcanfindaway:
westillcanfindaway Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012
already payed the taxes for all the year and signed the contract for the house :/ I think I'm going to do the exams, since I've studied for them, and I could take the whole year for thinking about it since I think that the huge flow of ideas and possible lifes is hitting my brain just because of the horribile moment... I'm gonna follow the other courses tho...

anyway, about my ex boyfriend I can tell you that we're not spending so much time together, we just see each other in the weekend so it's not like he's preventing me to see other people cause I don't have time... anyway I don't feel so much like creating new bonds now...
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:iconcrystalwaterfall:
crystalwaterfall Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2012  Hobbyist
Ok, capito :) Possiamo parlare italiano, giusto? ;)
Cerca solo di non buttarti troppo giù...fai gli esami con calma, magari poi un domani se deciderai di cambiare, qualche esame te lo passano e non dovrai più studiare. In ogni caso, nessuno ha mai detto che la scelta che si fa é quella giusta. La mia ex coinquilina aveva scelto Matematica, dopo un mese se era resa conto che non faceva per lei..si vedeva, non andava a lezione, era depressa nel vero senso della parola. Ha iniziato nel mentre a frequentare altri corsi, Lingue, perché gli esami erano troppo complicati per lei e si buttava giù a studiare per un voto che non le rendeva giustizia..ti ho detto quello perché lei ha counque pagato la seconda tassa del semestre, quando orami non faceva più nulla.. Invece, a mio parere, era meglio se si ritirava e seguiva direttamente i corsi che le interessavano per fare il cambio facoltà!
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